by Scott Blade
She used to joke that his presence was the ultimate distraction, but now that he was gone, she could sense a looming storm. She felt empty for the first time in her whole life. It was the kind of emptiness that makes a person realize that whenever they were sad before, they truly had no idea what true sadness was. Gracy knew sadness. She knew it now.
Down the street, from around the corner, a black car drove up to the front of the apartment. She recognized it from the funeral. It was Hitler’s car. At the moment, she had been hearing a lot about him. He came up in conversations at the grocers, markets, or on the streets. Everyone was talking about him lately, like he was already a famous, well-spoken politician. She knew that his power was growing immensely. Eventually, she would not be able to ignore him. If his popularity continued to rise, he would end up governing the city of Berlin and possibly the entire country.
The car stopped. The driver turned off the engine. He rose out of the cab. He was a lanky man with a goatee. He was handsome and appealing in a way Gracy normally did not find attractive. He held a determined expression on his face. The man walked to the gate, passing into Gracy’s yard.
“Frau Kessler?” he asked.
“Yes,” she answered, barely glancing up at him.
“I am Ford Maelstrom. I am Herr Hitler’s personal driver. I have come with instructions to take you to see him. Are you willing to come?”
She listened and continued to rake the straw at the base of the plant in the garden. After he finished talking, she waited before looking up at him.
Finally, she stopped raking and looked up at him. “Herr Maelstrom, you tell that man that I will never have an audience with him,” she said, staring straight at the driver. “Tell him that Gracy Kessler has no interest in Hitler or those Nazi goons. I have never, was never, and will never think there is anything genuine about his sympathies about my late husband. And tell him that I burned Herr Hitler’s flowers and sympathy messages.”
The driver looked stunned. He huffed and turned up his nose. Then he walked back to the car. A moment later, he drove off and didn’t look back.
46
Every week, usually on Monday or Tuesday, for the next several weeks, Herr Maelstrom drove by her apartment. And every week he made eye contact with Gracy. Sometimes he would get out and approach the house. Typically she would go back through the front door and slam it or she would talk to him, but never did she treat him with kindness. She did not want to give him the wrong impression. She had absolutely no interest in meeting with Hitler.
Maelstrom disdained returning to Hitler after Gracy’s rejections. He feared the outcome. Many times Hitler overreacted and threatened Maelstrom’s job or even his life. Occasionally he accused Maelstrom of purposefully sabotaging Gracy’s disposition. Most of the time, however, Hitler seemed to expect her to reject his advances. He did not feel any guilt for having her husband murdered. He obsessed over her. The more she rejected him, the more he obsessed.
Months passed and Gracy’s belly grew. With the state of the failing economy in Germany, she hastily depleted her remaining savings. Her parents sent her money as often as they could, but they were also feeling the depression. Her brother-in-law, Heinrik’s only remaining relative, told her he would soon have to stop giving her money. He had his own children to look after. It was becoming hard enough for him to provide for them. And eventually, she lost touch with him.
Gracy’s parents continued to support her and the unborn child, but she knew that they were rationing out their own money in order to accomplish this. She tried to find work, but having little experience in anything except music and gardening, she was finding it difficult to secure employment. Florist shops were not hiring. In those days, people were not really buying flowers.
Gracy was in her kitchen when someone knocked on the front door. She expected Maelstrom. She walked to the front door, wiping her hands on an old apron. Two figures stood in the doorway. One was a man from the bank whom she recognized; the other was some sort of policeman.
He wore civilian clothes, but she recognized his demeanor. He looked like a policeman. She could tell. He stood a certain way. His hair was cropped very close to his head and she saw a bulge in his jacket that looked like a gun. Living with Heinrik, she had learned to recognize certain things about military and policemen.
“Yes, can I help you gentlemen?” she asked.
“Yes, are you Frau Kessler? Heinrik Kessler’s wife?” the banker asked.
“Yes, that’s me. As you can see gentlemen, I am very pregnant. So what is this all about?” she asked impatiently.
“Frau Kessler, can you come out here on the porch please?” the police officer asked.
Gracy opened the screen door and stepped onto the porch. “What is this about?” she repeated.
“Frau Kessler, this is a bank statement and a foreclosure document. It is a document that, upon your inspection of it, you will notice bears your late husband’s signature,” the banker said. He was a short man. He had been combing tendrils of his hair over the bald spot on his head.
He held out the documents so that Gracy could see that Heinrik’s signature was on them. She tried to reach out and grab the papers to get a closer look, but he jerked them away. It seemed the banker was afraid to let go of the documents.
“You said foreclosure?” she asked.
“Yes, Frau Kessler, your husband had taken out a significant loan from our bank. This loan has been neglected for the last six months or so. It seems that several attempts have been made to contact you about this matter. We have postage receipts from several dates over the last six months. You have neglected to respond to any of these claims and so now we are here to present you with these foreclosure papers.”
Gracy reached out and grabbed the set of papers from his hands.
“What are these?” she asked.
“The bank is seizing your assets. That means everything you own is now ours, every stick of furniture, every bush in your yard, and everything else in this apartment. You can no longer stay here. We will give you thirty minutes to vacate the premises.”
“What?” Gracy asked. Her jaw dropped in shock. She had no idea what to do.
“Better take this chance to gather up your things, Frau Kessler,” the police officer said.
While Gracy was talking with the banker, Ford Maelstrom walked up to the gate and entered. Suddenly, Gracy had a grave suspicion Hitler was behind Heinrik’s loan and the foreclosure. Why else would Ford Maelstrom show up at that exact moment?
“Frau Kessler, what is going on?” Herr Maelstrom asked.
“These men are here to foreclose on my house and all of my belongings. They said Heinrik had unpaid debts and that because I never responded to a letter they are going to take my house,” she said. She began to tear up.
“I’m sorry, gentlemen, but this is a matter that we should discuss,” Herr Maelstrom said.
“I don’t want your help, Maelstrom. Especially since Hitler is the reason for all of this. I know it.”
“Excuse me, Frau Kessler, but I assure you that my employer has no prior knowledge of these debts,” Herr Maelstrom said.
“I don’t believe you,” Gracy returned.
“Herr Hitler has nothing to do with this. But if you don’t need my help,” Herr Maelstrom said. He waited a moment for her to respond. It appeared that my mother was considering the possibility that Adolf Hitler was not behind this insult.
And she was considering it. She could not be sure that he was behind it. The economy suffered greatly in Germany. In order to look out for their own interest and survival in a highly competitive market, the banks were notorious for repossessing and collecting on unpaid debts.
She also considered the possibility that there were never any collection inquiries made by the bank. Heinrik had warned her about dealing with the banks when they had first started searching for loans for their dream house. He had told her it was not beneath the banks to take advantage of widows by reposses
sing their belongings. The houses were worth more than the actual debts. They collected on the debts and made a good profit.
Maelstrom became impatient and retreated. Gracy watched him walk away, get into his car, and drive off. The banker continued to speak. Finally, the police officer grabbed her arm roughly and asked her to get her things together and leave the apartment.
47
With the small amount of cash she had, Gracy took a cab to her parents’ house. She walked up to the front stoop and knocked on the door. There was no answer. She knocked harder. Still there was no answer. She looked through the windows. All she could see was the same old, worn furniture that her parents had owned for years.
She could not make out any movement in the house. So she sat down on the steps pregnant, and waited for them to return home. She thought it was strange they were gone. During the week, it was rare that her parents ever left the house at the same time. Generally, one of them was always home. At least her mother was usually home. Except on Sundays when they went down to a little café and ate breakfast together.
Gracy waited.
Hours later, she woke up, not realizing she had been there long enough to sleep. She got up and looked in the windows. Still there was no movement in her parents’ house. She decided to wait longer. There were no sign of any of her parents’ neighbors either.
More time passed and there was no sign of her parents anywhere. Nightfall approached. Gracy became increasingly concerned.
The next morning she woke up, and there was still no sign of her parents. Starving, she was desperate. So she did the one thing she’d dreaded. She found a cab, spent the rest of her money, and told the driver to take her to Hitler’s building.
48
Hitler’s building was the regional headquarters for the Nazi party. It was downtown. His office was on the top floor. Gracy got out of the cab; the sky was dark. Clouds rolled in slowly from the south. The rain was coming, just as Gracy had felt it would. She walked through a set of heavy glass doors. She stopped at the front counter.
“I’m here to see Herr Hitler,” she told the woman. The woman politely asked if she was expected. She said no but that Hitler would want to see her regardless. After waiting for two hours, she was finally allowed to enter his office.
She followed the receptionist down a long corridor. At the end of the hall, she entered a large room. High ceilings, a long red carpet, and a single oak desk were the first things she noticed about the room. Then she noticed the mismatched furniture scattered throughout the room, including two tall-backed, brown chairs that sat in front of a fireplace with a small fire crackling in it.
“Frau Kessler?” a voice asked from the front of the chair.
Gracy moved closer. She felt the warmth from the fire brushing across her face.
“Yes,” she finally answered. As she made her way to the side of the chair, she recognized Hitler’s profile. He sat with a glass of brandy resting in his hand. He’d purposefully avoided turning to look at her. She had to walk completely around the chair to face him.
“Why, Gracy, it is you. I was sorry to hear about Heinrik. I wanted you to know that I personally attended the funeral services and I have consistently tried to make an audience with you,” Hitler said. He still did not stand; instead, he just stared up at her.
Gracy clenched her fists. She was nauseous. “I apologize, Herr Hitler,” she reluctantly said.
“Why do you apologize, Gracy? What do you have to be sorry for?” Hitler remained seated. He took a sip from his brandy and calmly awaited her response.
Gracy clenched her fists even tighter. At the same moment, she could feel the baby inside her. He was restless and hungry. Her own stomach muscles tightened at the thought of eating. Her body was weaker than normal. She could not go very much longer without eating. She had nowhere to go. Hitler had trapped her. He had ambushed her.
“I apologize, Herr Hitler because…”
“Please, Gracy, call me Adolf,” Hitler insisted. He listened patiently as she gulped.
“Adolf, I’m sorry that I ignored your pursuits. I have nowhere to go. And so I am here.”
Hitler stared at his brandy for a moment. He savored the moment. Gracy's humiliation was his reward.
He has been rehearsing this moment, Gracy thought.
He stood up, sipping his brandy one last time before setting it down on the arm of the chair. He approached her with raised hands. He came close to her face, brushing her cheeks softly with his fingertips. Almost instantly his hands retreated away from her face and he rested his hands on her shoulders.
“Gracy, you are welcome to stay with me. You can stay with me as long as you need to. Both you and the baby will have a home and a life here with me. For as long as you need. As long as you need,” he said.
The thought echoed in the caverns of Gracy’s mind. One word in particular resonated with her: long. It would be long. She knew in her heart she was trapped. She would never escape Hitler. Never.
49
Tegern Lake, Germany
Six Months Later
Eerily, snow-covered trees surrounded the quiet lake house like the trees from the prophecy in Shakespeare’s Macbeth, Birnam Wood. The wind gusted through them, slowly moving them toward the lake house as if they were setting up to invade it.
The driveway was iced over. The wind blew a chilled air swiftly across the lake. Gracy lay in bed and stared at the ceiling. She was numb. Everything was numb. She leaned over a bloated, sleeping man. He slept deeply next to her body.
An infant rested near the foot of the bed in his crib. It was her and Heinrik’s son, Willem. It was me.
Gracy had laid me down two hours earlier. She had thoughts of murder. I was the only thing keeping her with Hitler. She wanted Hitler dead. She suspected he’d killed Heinrik and destroyed our family. In fact, she was sure of it.
When I was old enough I would understand why she hated Hitler. She hoped I would understand what she had done and why she wanted to do what she felt she had to do now. Gracy sat up and left the bed.
She walked out to the porch of the lake house that was supposed to belong to her and Heinrik. Only now it belonged to Hitler. He said that he had gotten it for her. He said it was to be their home when they were not traveling.
She didn’t know how he knew about Tegern Lake. Heinrik must have told him or he learned from the bank when he’d falsified Heinrik’s debt. She wasn’t sure what was true. The only thing she knew for sure was that the lake house was tainted to her now.
She waved at one of the SS guards as he passed by the front of the house. She sat on Heinrik’s chair and looked out over the beautiful landscape.
Heinrik should be here to see this with me. He should be holding me and Willem, watching over the landscape. Together. We should all be here together, she thought.
Gracy pulled out a Luger she had hidden from the passing guards. She stared at it. She thought about putting the barrel in her mouth, but she could not imagine what might happen to me if she went through with it. Death would be an instant escape for her, but I would be left behind with the man she hated more than anyone in the world.
Gracy dreaded the path her life had taken. Staring out over the dark land a little longer, she swallowed hard and returned to bed.
Before she lay down again, she suddenly felt sick. Her stomach muscles tightened, and her head felt light. She knew she was going to vomit.
She rose from the bed and ran to the bathroom. Hitler did not stir. He continued to dream.
In the bathroom, the pain grew. She thought back about how she hadn’t eaten anything for a couple of days. Then she realized that the only other time in her life that she had felt this sick was when she was pregnant for the first time with me.
No! I can’t be pregnant! I just can’t be! Not with his baby, Gracy thought.
The thought lingered in her mind like a dark, seductive serpent hatching eggs in her brain. The idea hatched. It coiled around her thoughts.
50
The next morning, Adolf Hitler awoke in his bed. He felt satisfied, refreshed. His night had been filled with soothing dreams.
He peered down to the foot of the bed. He saw that I was still sleeping.
Gracy was missing. Hitler looked over to her side of the bed and beyond. He looked to the bathroom door, which was wide open.
“Gracy!” Hitler called out. “Gracy?”
He saw her on the floor, hunched over.
51
Gracy stood outside of Dr. Levinson’s office once again, months after she had visited him for morning sickness. She realized she hadn’t seen him since right after Heinrik had died.
It was early in the morning. The clinic had only been open for a short time. She looked back over her shoulder and watched Herr Maelstrom sitting in the car waiting for her. She was not alone at the clinic. There was a strange man standing near her. He leaned against the wall of the clinic.
He watched her closely. She knew he was a part of Hitler’s entourage. The one memorable thing about him was how silent he was. He terrified her.
She entered the office and asked to see the doctor.
“Why, Gracy,” Dr. Levinson said as he walked past his secretary’s desk.
“Hello, Dr. Levinson,” Gracy said.
“Come in, Gracy. Greta, let her through. She can go ahead of anyone else who is waiting,” Dr. Levinson said to a nurse who sat behind the counter.
Greta nodded and Gracy went through.
The back room was just as Gracy had remembered it from months before. She sat on the examining table and looked at Dr. Levinson.
“So what is going on, Gracy?” he asked.
“Dr. Levinson, you have been a trusted friend to me through my pregnancy. I am a prisoner now. Willem and I are both captives in our new lives. I live with him now—Hitler, I mean,” she whispered.
“Oh dear, Gracy!” Dr. Levinson said. He fell back into a chair that was meant for guests. The doctor’s stool was in the middle of the room, where Dr. Levinson would have normally sat.
“Dr. Levinson, you have to help me,” Gracy said. She looked at him with desperation.