Alex: No, Nan, I’m not cold
‘Another red one.’
‘That doesn’t count.’
‘Why not?’
‘Because it’s a fire engine, not a car.’
‘That’s not fair. Mum! Alex keeps changing the rules.’
‘Alex.’ Mum glances in the car mirror at me. ‘Give Lizzie a chance. Let the fire engine count.’
Lizzie grins. ‘Okay,’ she says. ‘So that’s twenty-one red for me and fifteen blue for you.’ She does that annoying thing where she pokes her tongue out at me and wobbles her head at the same time. I shrug like I don’t care, then look out of the car window at the sea.
I’m in the car going to visit Nan and Granddad in Worthing. I can usually do the journey because it’s only half an hour to drive along the coast.
I’m worrying about what will happen at the Observation Tower tomorrow. Everyone in Brighton is going to be there. I thought I had another five days without seeing Sophie and the Georges.
Last night I tried to contact Elliott to cancel it, but he’d gone to stay with his auntie for two days. We’ll be in trouble if they see us together, but I shouldn’t have to cancel it. I’ve been looking forward to going up the tower for weeks. My chest went tight when Sophie messaged him. It ruined the afternoon because he was being okay for once. Especially when he was telling me about his brother. I still don’t know what Ben did, but Dan mentions him lots and, from the look on his face yesterday, I think he misses him loads.
‘Another red one, Alex. I’ve got twenty-two!’
I nod just to keep Lizzie happy.
By the time we arrive at Nan’s, Lizzie has won; forty-two to thirty-four. She tells Nan straightaway, but Nan is more concerned that I’m cold.
‘Did you want the fire on, Alex?’
‘No, Nan. I’m fine.’
‘Poor love, he looks shrammed!’ Nan looks at Mum, then back at me. ‘I know.’ She pushes herself out of her chair. ‘I’ll get you one of your granddad’s jumpers.’
‘Mum, I told you. Alex isn’t cold. He just likes to wear gloves.’
‘Oh well, at least let him sit next to the radiator, Francesca.’
Mum rolls her eyes at me. I don’t know if it’s to make me move or because she hates it when Nan calls her Francesca, but I move closer to the radiator just in case. Nan thinks I’m cold every time I visit. She makes big pots of tea and then gets one of granddad’s jumpers or puts a blanket on the arm of the chair ready for me, like I’m an old man.
Mum’s told her loads of times about my OCD, but she doesn’t take any notice which is better than Granddad who thinks I should face my fears like he had to in the army. Sometimes when I visit he gets a bucket and sponge and tries to get me to help him clean his car in the hope that it will cure me. He used to make me go in the garden to feed the birds with him too, but I get out of that because Lizzie goes instead. I can see her out there now, opening the bird feeder and filling it with seeds. I hope she doesn’t hug Granddad until she washes her hands otherwise he’ll be covered in bird germs and I won’t be able to hug him when I leave.
Nan hands me a glass of orange juice. ‘So how’s school, Alex?’ she asks. ‘We’ve not seen you since Christmas.’
‘We have been busy,’ says Mum.
‘Too busy to get Alex’s hair cut?’ Nan nods at me.
‘He likes it longer, Mum.’
‘I know, I was only saying … So how is school, Alex?’
Oh, it’s great.
‘It’s okay.’
‘You’re enjoying it, aren’t you, Alex?’ says Mum. ‘And tell Nan about the raft you’re building.’
Nan’s eyes open wide. ‘Ooh, you’re building a RAFT?’ She says it slowly like she’s spelling it out. ‘That must be really nice for you to get out. Tell Granddad when he comes in.’ She waves out of the window and beckons to Granddad. He smiles and walks with Lizzie across the grass towards the back door.
Don’t touch him. Don’t hold his hand.
The back door opens. I listen for the sound of the taps running and the squeeze of the soap bottle, but I can’t hear because Nan has started telling Mum that there’s a lady on House Hunters who looks just like a woman down the road.
Lizzy bounces into the room, munching a chocolate biscuit. That was too quick: there’s no way she’s had time to wash her hands. She puts them on the arm of the sofa, on Nan’s shoulder.
‘Can I turn the TV over?’
‘Of course you can.’
Now I can’t hug Nan OR touch the TV remote.
Granddad walks in with a towel in his hand.
‘You all right, Alex? You looked worried again.’ He smiles at me.
Please don’t ask me to clean the car.
‘I’m okay.’
He sits down next to me. ‘Lizzie says your guitar lessons are going well … And your singing. She says you’ve learnt a new song … Was it Dustin Beaver you said, Lizzie?’
‘It’s Justin Bieber, Dad.’ Mum laughs.
I glower at Lizzie. She’s pretending to watch TV, but I can see her grinning. Granddad will be wanting me to sing now.
‘Oh, I don’t know any of these new ones,’ says Granddad. ‘But let’s hear what you’ve learnt.’
There!
I shake my head.
‘It’s okay, Granddad,’ I say. ‘I need my guitar.’
‘Go on, Alex,’ says Lizzie. ‘Sing “Sorry”, like you did last night.’
She shoves the rest of her biscuit in her mouth and then jumps up. No way has she brought my guitar with us. We all came out of the house together.
‘Okay, I’ll do a show instead. Me and Gemma are doing it at school.’
‘But I was going to tell Granddad about the raft.’
‘What’s that about a raft?’
‘I’m—’
It’s too late. Lizzie has started singing and is spinning around with her arms out wide, pretending she’s wearing a ballerina dress.
I sit back on the sofa. For once, I’ve been outside and had something to tell Granddad, but now we’ve got to sit and watch one of Lizzie’s shows and they go on for ages and, by the time she’s finished, everyone will have forgotten I was supposed to tell them about Shooting Star. Suddenly Granddad gets up. I think that he’s going to the toilet, but then he beckons to me from the kitchen doorway.
Oh no, here comes the bucket and sponge.
He beckons me again. I dodge past Lizzie. Granddad sits down at the kitchen table and nods to me to sit down at the other side.
Oh no. It’s not washing the car, but it’s another idea to help me overcome my fears.
In the lounge, Lizzie has turned the TV up and is now dancing to music. Granddad leans over the table.
‘Come on then,’ he says quietly. ‘I know you want to tell me.’
Can he see my worries?
‘Tell you what, Granddad?’
‘This raft. Where are you building it?’
‘In a cave, on the seafront.’
‘With Dad?’
‘No,’ I say. ‘With a boy from school.’
‘That’s wonderful,’ he says, opening his eyes wide. ‘It’s lovely you’ve got a friend and you’re building it together.’
‘Well,’ I say. ‘It’s not really my raft, it’s his and his brother’s.’
‘That’s okay, I’m sure he’ll let you go on it if you help.’
I try to smile, but I’m shaking my head at the same time. If he knew Dan, he’d know there was zero chance of that happening. Granddad asks me what we’ve used to make Shooting Star so I tell him how me and Dan nailed the base planks and tied them down tighter with string and how Dan painted her in creosote. He asks me what else we have to do. So I tell him that we need to get some oars and a mascot. My chest feels a bit less tight. This is the most I’ve talked to Granddad in ages. Usually I don’t have much to say after I’ve spent all day in my room, but now I’ve been outside I can talk to him properly.
‘Sorry to
break you two up, but it’s time to go.’ Mum stands in the doorway, twiddling her car keys.
Granddad pulls a sad face. ‘Ah, that’s a shame. Happiest I’ve seen this little bloke in ages.’ Granddad’s face turns to wrinkles. He pushes his chair back.
‘I’m sorry,’ says Mum. ‘But this one’s got yet another birthday party to go to.’ She puts her hand on Lizzie’s head.
‘That’s okay,’ says Granddad. Then he looks at me. ‘And you just make sure you remember everything you do so you can tell me all about Shooting Star next time.’
I nod and tell him I will.
They looked a bit sad when we left. I didn’t hug Granddad and I couldn’t hug Nan either, and now I’m huddled up against the car door, sitting as far away from Lizzie and her germy hands as I can. As we drive along the top road back to Brighton, I look down across the fields again. All of them are bright green and the sun has come out and turned the sea silver. We drive down past the racecourse and I can see the Observation Tower sticking up like a giant nail. My heart thuds hard and I can feel my hands sweating in my gloves. I want to go the opening but suddenly all I can think about are the crowds of people, and even if I can put up with them, I’ve still got Dan, Sophie and the Georges to contend with.
I look at my watch. It’s only 3 o’clock. Dan will still be down there somewhere, working on Shooting Star. I could tell Mum to drop me off and do two hours before it gets dark. I’m crazy for thinking that when I’m so worried about bumping into him at the tower. But Granddad is right. I’ve not been this happy in ages. It’s got nothing to do with Dan, but everything to do with Shooting Star. She keeps me busy and pushes my worries away. I look down at the pier and suddenly I can’t stop myself smiling.
‘Forty-one red, twenty-four blue!’
Lizzie’s won again, but I’m looking forward to working on Shooting Star so much that I don’t really care.
Dan: Observation Tower day
Shark Face hasn’t spoken much all morning and neither have I. All I’ve been thinking about is what will happen if me, Sophie and the Georges bump into him at the Observation Tower. There’s only an hour left until it opens. But I don’t need to look at my watch because my chest feels like I’ve got a big clock inside it, ticking the minutes away.
I walk over to the bottles and pick up a bundle. I squeeze them between the base planks and hand them to Shark Face who’s crouched underneath Shooting Star.
‘Have you got them?’ I say for the tenth time today.
‘Yes.’ He grimaces as he holds the bottles against the plank. I wrap string around them and tie a knot. I see Shark Face peering up at me between the planks. He doesn’t say anything, he just waits for me to get the next bundle. But from the worried look on his face I know he’s thinking the same thing as me. What happens if Sophie sees him at the tower?
I imagine what she’ll do. She’ll probably tell him to go for a swim with his sharky friends, like I did. And if he doesn’t she’ll get us to drag him across the beach and throw him in the sea. But I don’t want to do things like that to him any more.
I walk over and get another bundle of bottles. Shark Face takes them from me, holds them against the wood and I tie them on. He’s still working like a robot but every minute that passes, his face seems to look more worried and every second the clock beats in my chest.
Shark Face is weird, but he has been funny and if it wasn’t for him Shooting Star wouldn’t be as good as she is. I can’t think of a way out of it though. Sophie will know something’s going on if I leave him alone.
If Ben was here, he’d tell me to be a big fish and do what I want.
‘Dan … Dan!’
‘What?’
‘Get another bundle.’
I look down at my hands.
‘Oh, yeah.’ I’ve been thinking for so long that I’ve stopped working. I pick up more bottles. There has to be something I can do. It’s going to be horrible seeing Shark Face back here after we’ve thrown him in the sea. I hand the bottles between the planks, then glance at my watch. It’s only half an hour until we should leave. ‘We should stop,’ I say. ‘I need to eat my sandwiches before I go …’
‘Okay.’
Shark Face crawls out from under Shooting Star. We get our sandwiches out of our bags and sit down on our buckets. I couldn’t even say the words, ‘Observation Tower’ to him. I take a bite of my tuna sandwich but it feels like if I swallow it will get stuck in my throat. I glance across at Shark Face. He looks even more worried than I am. I swallow and swig some Coke. I can’t do anything to him. I can’t, but what—‘Let’s avoid each other,’ I blurt out.
‘What?’ A bit of sausage roll drops from Shark Face’s mouth.
‘When we go to the Observation Tower. We’ll avoid each other. I know that’s what you’re worried about.’
Shark Face shakes his head like he’s trying to catch up with my thoughts. ‘I don’t think—’
‘Yeah, it’ll be easy.’ I stand up.
‘How?’
‘All me and you have got to do is make sure we don’t get seen together.’
Shark Face takes a drink like he needs time to think about it.
‘So, we don’t walk along together?’ he asks. ‘We leave here at different times, so we don’t get seen walking along the seafront.’
‘Yeah, that’s right, see, easy!’ I blow out my cheeks. I’ve been worrying about it so much it’s like I forgot to breathe. But Shark Face doesn’t look so relieved.
‘But what if you do see me?’
‘I’ll pretend I didn’t.’
‘Okay, that works, but what if Sophie sees me first?’
‘Oh, yeah.’ I hold my breath again. It’s easy to pretend not to see Shark Face, but it’s harder to get Sophie to do the same.
‘I’ll tell her to ignore you.’ I say.
‘It won’t work. She does what she wants.’
‘It will, trust me. I’ll just tell her to leave you alone.’
Shark Face smiles wearily. ‘She won’t listen, and why would you do that anyway?’
‘Because …’
‘Because what?’
I shrug. ‘I don’t know, just because. Deal?’ I hold out my hand.
Shark Face looks at me suspiciously. ‘What do you get out of it?’
‘You help me finish Shooting Star.’
Shark Face smiles nervously. ‘Okay, deal.’
I pull my hand away and check the time again.
‘I’ll leave first,’ I say. ‘Give me five minutes’ start and we’ll come back here after and do some more work.’
‘Of course.’ Shark Face takes his bag off the hook.
I walk out of the cave and take a deep breath. It’s not the best plan but it’s the only one I have.
I just hope it works.
Alex: What am I?
I’m walking along the seafront towards the Observation Tower. I’m not going to be able to find Elliott because there are crowds of people everywhere. What makes it even worse is that I’ve got to dodge everyone so they don’t touch me. Dan left five minutes before me so he’s ahead of me somewhere, but there are so many heads and bodies they’ve all merged into a coloured blur.
I pass the pier and keep walking. The sun is shining bright on the water. There are people on the beach, looking through binoculars in the direction of the tower, and some children are running around with balloons. Ahead I can see crowds of people, so many that the colours of their clothes start to blur.
I wrap my arms round my body. It’s warm, but I’m so anxious I can’t stop myself shaking and I want to pee too.
It’s okay, you’ve been going outside all week and you’ve been working on Shooting Star. It’s only people. It’s only people.
But it’s more people than at a football match.
It’s only people
But lots of them!
I glance at my watch. It’s 1.35. My heart is racing and my jaw is clenched tight. The crowd is getting wider and deeper.
They’ve closed the seafront to traffic and there’s so many people I can’t see where the pavement ends and the road begins.
‘Alex! Alex!’
My heart misses a beat. I spin round. ‘Alex!’ Lizzie runs through the crowds. ‘Did you get one of these?’ She points at her blue hat with a picture of a hot dog and a bottle of tomato sauce on the peak. ‘There’s a man handing them out over there. They’re free!’
She points through the crowds, but all I can see are people buzzing around like bees. I don’t want a hat with a hot dog on it and I definitely wouldn’t go through a swarm of bees to get it.
‘You made it!’ shouts Mum. ‘Well done. Well done!’ She puts her arm round my shoulders and shakes me like I’ve won an Olympic medal. Yes, I’m here, but it’s not over yet.
I pull away from her.
‘I’ve got to find Elliott!’ I shout.
‘Can I go with you?’ Lizzie jumps up and down.
‘No.’
‘Why not? Pleeeease, Alex, pleeease.’ She jumps up and down. There’s no way she’s coming with me. It’s bad enough trying to avoid Dan and Sophie. It’d be even worse if they saw me out with my little sister.
‘Alex?!’
‘No.’ I turn away from Lizzie. ‘I’ll see you later,’ I say to Mum.
‘Okay, love. Come on, Lizzie, let’s go and find the clowns.’
They leave me on my own. I stand on tiptoe and look around for a marker to see where I am. I told Elliott I’d meet him by the railings at the bottom of Preston Street, but it’s so crowded now that all I can see are the rooftops of buildings and the tower. It’s like people are queuing to be the first to go on a ride to another planet. What if that’s what it really was – a one-way space trip to Mars! I’d be pushing Sophie and the Georges on it if it was. But not Dan. We’d never finish Shooting Star if he went.
I try to go higher on my toes. I can’t see Elliott anywhere. If I’m finding it this hard to see him, maybe it’ll be hard for Sophie and Dan to see me. Through a gap I get a glimpse of the sea and the railings. I turn away from the tower.
All the Things That Could Go Wrong Page 16