Argh! I forgot about that. He’s right, we can’t leave her out there. Anybody could come along and take her out onto the sea and we’ve done too much work to let that happen. But it means I have to go back out there.
Dan walks out onto the seafront and looks up at the sky.
‘It’s okay,’ he shouts back. ‘They’ve all gone.’ He holds his hands out by his side.
They might have gone but it will only take a few flaps of their wings for them to come swooping back. I edge towards the mouth of the cave and look out. There’s no seagulls here but there’s a flock circling by the pier.
‘Come on,’ Dan says. ‘They’re too busy looking for fish and chips to worry about you. And I’ll keep look out anyway.’
I check the sky again, then dart out onto the seafront. Dan picks up the front of the trailer and I push from the other end. Slowly we wheel Shooting Star back along the pavement. All the time we’re both looking up at the sky like we’re expecting the seagulls to return and bomb me any second.
‘Made it!’ Dan puffs as he puts his end of the trailer down.
We might have made it but my heart is beating fast like a mouse.
Dan’s phone buzzes again.
‘We better go,’ he says.
I nod. I don’t want to go but I have to. I edge to the cave mouth and look back at Shooting Star. Dan picks up his bag and puts it over his shoulder.
‘We could come down next weekend,’ he says. ‘We don’t have to do anything – we can just sit and look at her.’
I smile, but I don’t think I’ll be coming back, not after what just happened. I can wash the poo off my clothes and my skin, but the thought will stay in my head for weeks.
Dan: Something’s wrong
I’m on my bed. Rex is crawling about under my hoody. Mum and Dad have been arguing and this time it was so bad I’m too scared to go downstairs. When I got back, Dad was shouting full blast, saying he knew this was going to happen, that’s why he wanted nothing to do with taking me to the STC. Then his phone rang and everything went quiet. He took the phone outside.
I went into Ben’s room and looked out of the window. Dad was talking while walking round in a circle in the garden. He was out there for ages; he didn’t even come in when it rained. When he did, he went straight into the sitting room with Mum. They must be talking in whispers because even if I go halfway down the stairs I can’t hear a thing. I’m worried it’s something bad but I’m also worried about school tomorrow.
It was horrible what happened to Alex today. It must be horrid to have thoughts like that in his head. And it must be even worse when he gets picked on at school. I told him we’ll be okay tomorrow, but I’m not sure we will. What if the pretend fight doesn’t work? I hope he’s practising his boxing moves now. I should be but the house is so quiet I feel like I can’t move. The only time it’s been this quiet was the day after Ben went away. It was like he was dead then, and this feels just as bad.
The lounge door clicks open and I listen to Dad’s footsteps on the stairs. I get up and put Rex in his cage. Dad comes into my room. His face is blotchy and the veins are sticking out on his neck.
‘Dan,’ he says. ‘I need to talk to you.’
‘Is it about Ben? He’s not dead, is he?’
‘No, he’s not dead.’
Phew.
‘What then?’
‘There’s been a bit of trouble at the STC; he got in a fight.’
‘Did he win?’
‘Dan, don’t be silly. This is serious. It doesn’t matter who won; the fact is he’s not coming home when we thought.’
‘But it’ll only be a week. That’s how long Josh Hardy got suspended for at school.’
‘Dan, listen. It’s going to be a lot longer than that.’ Dad looks at me and takes a deep breath like it’s going to be much more than a week.
‘What, a month?’ I say.
‘I really don’t know, Dan, but it’s likely to be longer than that.’
‘Two?!’
‘I said I don’t know. We’ll find out more when me and Mum go up there tomorrow.’ My heart is bursting in my chest and my throat is aching. I stand up.
‘But it can’t be, it can’t. I’ve been waiting for ages.’
‘I know, Dan, but we all have to be brave. Ben especially has to be brave.’
I try to breathe, but the shock has taken away my breath. Dad holds out his arms, but I don’t want a hug, I just want to see Ben. I can’t wait another three months. I want him here now. I sit down on my bed. Dad sits down next to me.
This isn’t fair. He can’t stay in the STC any longer. He looked so scared when me and Mum saw him. I bet it’s Booth. It’s his fault, not Ben’s. Ben can’t stay in there. He can’t. He can’t. My chest tightens and my throat feels like it’s going to explode.
‘Are you okay, Dan?’ Dad puts his arm round my shoulders.
I don’t care about me, I care about Ben. He’s stuck in the STC with its corridors and echoey rooms and boys that look like men. I shrug Dad’s arm away.
‘Get off me!’ I jump up off the bed.
‘Dan, calm down.’ Dad stands up.
‘NO!’ I shout. ‘GO AWAY!
‘Dan …’
‘I said NO! Leave me alone!’
‘But …’
‘LEAVE – ME – ALONE!’ I shout so loud my voice hurts my throat.
‘Leave him, Dave.’ Mum’s standing in the doorway. Her eyes are red and she’s got black lines running down her face. She steps towards me and opens her arms.
‘No!’ I shout. ‘You leave me alone too!’
I slam the door closed.
This can’t be true. It can’t be.
I could smash the windows. I could throw my Xbox against the wall.
This isn’t happening.
I put my hands up to my face and fall on to my bed.
Alex: The Fight. Round 1
The sun is turning all the white buildings whiter and the seagulls are hovering in the sky. My hands are sweating and the worms are back eating my stomach. Every step I take towards school, I want to turn back. I have to do it – I have to hit Dan otherwise everything will go on the same. But I’ve never hit anyone. Until now I’ve never even thought of hitting anyone, not even Dan when he was bullying me, but it’s impossible to think of hitting him now that he’s my friend. I clench my fist into a ball and punch into my palm. Maybe my punches won’t hurt him so much if I’m wearing gloves.
I practised my punches in my bedroom last night, but Lizzie kept coming in and asking what I was doing. I told her I was trying to catch a fly.
My stomach is doing somersaults as I walk through the school gates.
There are groups of boys and girls talking in the playground while others walk past them towards the main door. Dan said we’re going to do it at first break. I put my head down and walk into the reception. I’m more nervous than I was on the first day I came here. I walk down the blue corridor towards my classroom. Boys and girls are swarming everywhere, shouting and laughing but I’m so nervous that all I see are blurry colours and all I can hear is a buzz. I turn into my classroom.
‘Michael?’
‘Yes, miss.’
‘Sarah?’
‘Yes, miss.’
‘Elliott??’
‘Yes, miss.’
‘Alex? … Alex?’ Miss Harris looks up.
‘Yes, Miss.’ She looks at me like she’s surprised I’m here on time. But it’s easy to get here when I’ve been up since 6 o’clock.
I glance over to the window where Sophie and Dan sit. Sophie’s smirking right at me; Dan is staring out of the window. Miss Harris tells us to check over the history homework we did in the holidays while she continues with the register.
Emma smiles as I sit down next to her. She whispers something about the holidays, but I’m too nervous to answer. I get my book out and start to read about Alex Rider. I hear a giggle, then someone kicks my chair. I keep my head down and pretend it d
idn’t happen. My chair squeaks on the floor as someone kicks it again.
‘Oi, Shark Face!’ I glance over my shoulder. ‘Still know your name?’ Sophie’s grinning right at me with a ruler in her hand. She lets go of it. A piece of rubber pings against the side of my head. Sophie laughs and nudges Dan. I wait for him to help me. Sophie nudges him again. He turns and stares at me like I’m not here. He’s broken his promise already. Nothing has changed. I was stupid to think it would.
I look back at my homework. I feel another kick on my chair. Then someone kicks Emma’s. Out the corner of my eye I see her turn round.
‘Take it!’ says Sophie. ‘Or we’ll get you too.’
I know what’s coming next. Emma turns back round and slides a note on to my desk.
Hey Shark Face. Welcome back. We’re going to get you at break.
The worms in my stomach start to squirm. I want to screw the piece of paper up and throw it at Dan. The class start to babble.
Miss Harris clicks on her computer, then tells the kids by the windows to pull down the blinds. The room goes dark and a video about the First World War starts to play on the screen. I try to watch and listen, but I’m so confused and hurt that all I see are grainy pictures, and the narrator’s words are so jumbled up he could be talking Japanese. I glance over my shoulder again, but all I can see are eyes looking at me like wolves in the dark.
Dan: Breaking point
I’m in the Rainbow Room with Sophie and the Georges. I’m catching up with the history homework I didn’t do in the holidays. Mr Francis is on the computer, helping the Georges research how the war started. I’m supposed to be drawing a picture of a Howlitzer firing shells across a trench and it’s Sophie’s job to write about what’s happening underneath. But I’m just doodling, not paying attention, and Sophie’s too busy talking about Thorpe Park to notice. It’s impossible to concentrate on anything since I found out that Ben’s not coming home.
Mum and Dad left to go to the STC at the same time as I left home this morning. They asked me if I needed a lift, but I wanted to be on my own.
I was so busy thinking about Ben that I couldn’t remember crossing any of the roads on the way to school. I’ve been waiting for him to come home for ages and now he’s got to stay in that scary place for even longer.
‘Oi! I’m talking to you.’ Sophie nudges me. ‘I said it was a great day out. I was too small last time I went, but this time I got to go on Stealth, Swarm and Colossus.’
I shade in the tread on the tracks. She already told me all this at the Observation Tower. I wasn’t interested then and I’m not now.
I can’t stop thinking about what’s happening with Ben. I keep imagining Mum and Dad in the car. They must be nearly there by now. I’m glad they’re going. At least Ben won’t be on his own. But it’ll only be for a few hours. Then Mum and Dad will leave and he will be. And all I can think of is how small and scared he looked when we left him last time.
‘Oi!! Swat!’ Sophie shoves my arm and makes me jump.
‘Get off!’
‘What, did I mess up your guns?’
‘No!’
‘Well, so–rry.’ She pulls an annoying face.
‘Dan, Sophie.’ Mr Francis looks up from the computer. ‘More work. Less talking.’
Sophie leans close to me.
‘What’s wrong with you?’ she sneers.
‘Nothing.’
‘There is. You were really quiet at the Observation Tower and now you’ve been acting weird all morning.’
‘Sophie!’ Mr Francis is starting to look cross.
Sophie picks up her pen and starts writing, but only a few seconds go by before she begins talking again.
‘You’re just jealous because I went to Thorpe Park … I bet you’ve only ever been to Legoland.’
‘I have been,’ I say. ‘My mum and dad took us last year.’
‘Bet you never went on Nemesis.’
‘I did,’ I lie. Ben did but I was too short.
‘Sophie! Dan. For the last time!’ Mr Francis walks over to our table and rests his hands on our desk. ‘Come on … Dan, you’ve barely started. Don’t make me have to split you up.’ He stares at us for a long time and then walks back to the Georges.
‘Dumbass!’ Sophie whispers.
I pick up my pencil and try to draw, but all I can think about is Ben shouting on the ride at Thorpe Park. Ben drawing Shooting Star. Ben looking scared and lonely at the STC. A lump builds in my throat. If I think about him any more, I’m going to cry.
‘So what did you do?’ Sophie whispers.
‘What?’ I gulp.
‘During the rest of half-term?’
I went down the seafront with Alex and worked on Shooting Star. Alex did Star Wars characters voices when we were collecting bottles. Then I broke into a warehouse with Alex and stole planks of wood and a giraffe. Then I took Shooting Star out of the cave with Alex and a seagull pooed on him and Alex went mad—
‘Just stayed in … played Call of Duty and FIFA.’
‘Boooor-ing!’ she says. ‘But it won’t be boring later.’
‘Why not?’
She grins as she gets a black marker pen out of her bag.
‘For Shark Face,’ she says. ‘We’ll get him like we did Elliott, write all over him and then give him a moustache.’
My heart sinks into my stomach. I’ve been so worried about Ben that I didn’t even notice Alex in registration and history. He’ll think I’m going to forget our pact. He’ll think I’m going to bully him again.
I imagine Alex wriggling on the toilet floor with me and the Georges holding him down while Sophie stands behind us with the pen in her hand. I can’t do it to him now I know all the things he worries about. I don’t want to do it to him. I don’t even want to be in this school. Sophie reaches over me and scribbles across my drawing.
‘What did you do that for?!’
‘Checking it works!’
‘But you’ve ruined my picture!’
‘Aww, poor Danny!’
‘Don’t call me that!’
‘You two!’ Mr Francis is standing in front of us again, looking annoyed. ‘I warned you both.’ He looks at my piece of paper. ‘Dan, come with me.’
‘But I wasn’t doing anything.’
‘I’m not saying who it was. Just move over here by the window.’
‘But—’
‘Here.’
‘Bye, Danny.’
‘I said, don’t call me that.’ I turn and see Sophie grinning at me. Only Ben gets to call me that. I take a deep breath, but I can’t stop the anger building inside of me. Building and building until my blood feels like it’s going to burst out of my veins. I have to get out of here. I don’t want to pick on Alex. I want to see Ben. I can’t take it any more. I thump the desk with my hands as I stand up and suddenly my legs kick over a chair. It’s like they’re a separate part of my body. The chair clatters over on to the floor.
‘Dan!’
‘It’s not fair!’ I shout. The bubbles rise further like steam pouring from a kettle. ‘It’s not fair!’ I shove another chair and it skids across the floor. I think I hear Sophie say something and Mr Francis too and then Sophie laughs. I want to scream, but I feel like I’ve fallen down a well and nobody can hear me. The rest of the class is looking at me, but all the faces and the noises are so jumbled that nothing makes sense.
‘Dan.’ Mr Francis is standing in front of me. He doesn’t look angry any more. He looks worried. ‘You need to calm down.’
‘You don’t understand!’ I yell. ‘No one understands.’
Mr Francis is staring at me. Mr Francis is going blurry.
I’m going to cry. I need to get out. I need to escape.
I make a dash towards the door. Mr Francis reaches out and grabs my arm.
‘Get off of me! Don’t you get it? My brother’s not coming home!’
I wrestle my arm free, run past two tables and out into the corridor. My chest is aching. The l
ump in my throat is so big I can barely breathe. He’s not coming home. He’s not coming home. I run down the corridor. I don’t know where I’m going, only that I have to run.
‘Dan!’ Mr Francis’s voice echoes down the corridor. My head feels like it’s spinning. The corridor seems to go on forever as I run past one blurry door, then another until I get into the reception. I run past people whose faces I can’t see, whose shouts I can’t hear. I pass them all. I’m out of the main doors. I’m nearly at the gates. It’s raining and misty. I stop and put my hands on my knees as my head spins even faster. I can usually run fast and forever, but my heart is beating so hard it hurts.
‘Dan!’ Mr Francis rushes out of the main doors and stops when he sees me. ‘Come back in. Let’s talk about it.’
I look at the traffic rushing by, then back at Mr Francis.
‘Come on.’ He beckons me in.
I shake my head. I don’t want to go back in. I don’t want to talk about it. He won’t understand. Nobody does, except Ben. Even I don’t understand why I feel the way I do. It’s like all my problems are jumbled up in my head and my heart at the same time, but, every time I think of opening my mouth and telling someone, it’s like someone else takes over and shouts.
I just want everyone to go away and leave me alone.
I just want to see Ben.
I take a big breath. Mr Francis steps towards me.
In one quick movement, I turn towards the gates and run.
Alex: Breakout
It’s morning break and I’m walking round the edge of the playground like me and Dan agreed. Some Year Eights and Nines are playing football and some of my class are running around playing tag. The sky is dark and it’s drizzling rain. I’d hoped it would be a wet break so I could stay inside.
‘Hide me, Alex. Hide me!’ Emma runs behind me as she tries to stop getting tagged by Harry. They dodge either side of me, then Emma runs towards the ‘safe zone’ wall by the science block.
I dip my head and walk over to the corner of the basketball court. I wish I had a safe zone because nothing has changed.
‘Alex! Alex!’ I jump and look round. It’s not Elliott or Dan. It’s a boy shouting at Alex Preddy in Year Ten to pass the ball to him. Alex dribbles between three players, scores a goal and waves his hands above his head. I wish I was like him. He’s not as good as Cristiano Ronaldo, but he plays on the school football team and scores a hat-trick every week. I can do it on my PlayStation, but that doesn’t really count.
All the Things That Could Go Wrong Page 21