Guarded

by Sabrina Kade

  “I’m sorry,” I manage to gasp out. “I…”

  “Please,” he says again, sounding more pained. “The thoughts I had. I could have killed Glykoran. Do not assume because it’s raining, it doesn’t mean they won’t—” He kisses my hands again. “Please, if you want to come to the cave, fine. But please, tell me. We’ll go together.”

  “I’m sorry.” I’m still unsure why Azan’s so upset and worried, but I reach out and hug him tightly, enjoying his chilled, scaled skin against mine. “I needed some time to think.”

  “Why?” He pushes away and fixes me with a strange look. “I tried to ask Korben’s mate what was wrong, but she didn’t say anything. She only said you ran out.”

  “Oh…uh…” I blush, surprised that Blythe didn’t rat me out. Out in the rain, I’d almost forgotten why I came out to the cave in the first place, and my eyes immediately drift down to my stomach before flickering back to Azan’s.

  “Are you sick?” He pulls me close again, and his fingers stroke through my hair. It’s hard not to get in lost in his gentle touch. “You mustn’t come here—”

  “I’m not sick.” I give him a few moments to check me over. He probably won’t be able to settle until he thinks I’m okay. He brushes his hands across my cheeks and chest, managing not to make it sexual, which is pretty impressive in itself.

  “No,” he says quietly. “You seem to be okay.” He reaches out and grabs my hands, noticing they’re still trembling. “But you are troubled. What is wrong?”

  I bite my lower lip, wishing there was some way to tell him what needs to be said without sounding like a total idiot. How do you tell an alien you might be knocked up with his baby?

  “York, please. I’m starting to worry.”

  “Azan, Blythe thinks I might be pregnant.”

  His hands freeze in the air before dropping to his side. His chin lifts, and he searches my face with an intensity in his eyes that almost makes me shake harder. “A sprog?”

  His attention drifts down to my stomach. I nod slowly, and he cups my tummy with both hands. It’s such a tender touch I get a little excited but try to keep myself composed.

  “Why would she think she is with sprog?”

  “Blythe’s pregnant, and the more I talked to her, the more she became convinced I might be pregnant too. Azan, we’ve had a lot of sex these past few days.” A smile flickers across his handsome face, but now’s not the time to get caught up in my alien’s beauty. “And I don’t know. I’ve lost track of when I’m supposed to have my period, and it feels entirely too soon, but… I don’t know. Something about the way Blythe looked at me. Something about the way my heart hiccupped, I don’t know. I feel like I should at least get looked at. For peace of mind or something.”

  Azan’s silent and blinking. His eyes dance down to my stomach and then back to my face several times, and I can’t quite get a read on what he’s thinking. Maybe he’s trying to process it. Maybe he’s so excited, he’s stunned?

  I can’t take the silence much longer.

  “Say something, please. Now’s not the time for you to be quiet, Azan.”

  “You believe it’s possible?” His voice is low and hesitant, and cold, nervous sweat prickles on the tip of my nose. “You think you could be carrying my sprog?”

  “Like I said, I don’t know, Azan. Blythe mentioned there’s a med specialist here—”

  “Chentan. Yes, over at the second lair. He has some background and understanding of human anatomy. He’s the one that said humans would be a good match for Sidyths, especially for the price.” I frown and lower my head, and Azan immediately seizes my hands and pulls them against his chest. “I did not mean it like that. I only mean he understands how humans work better than most of us here combined.” He swallows hard. “He thinks Korben’s Chosen is with sprog?” I nod. “We should see Chentan as soon as possible, then to make sure you’re okay.”

  I tilt my head to the side, wondering what he means by this. “It’s probably nothing, Azan. I’m going for peace of mind.”

  “Yes, but we must also make sure we know immediately if you are carrying my sprog because we may have to go against the rules set by the Galactic Federation and terminate it.”

  “Terminate it? But that’s illegal. If anyone finds out, we’d be put to death.”

  He looks ashen. “I mean… we don’t… we may have to risk it. I’m sure Chentan could take care of it discreetly.”

  “But why? Why terminate at all? I thought this is what you wanted.”

  “It is! But without proper medical care… there may not be any way of knowing.”

  “Knowing what?”

  “If the sprog is like me.”

  My eyes widen. Oh. Right. Poisonous mate. Possible poisonous child. “Shit. I completely forgot about that.”

  “Yes. Shit.” He shakes his head. “It would be one thing if we had the medical expertise of home, but I’m not sure if I trust Chentan to know if you’ll be alright carrying a child who ends up like me. Mama never told me much about her experience other than she did not like it.”

  I want to scoff. I wouldn’t be surprised if Azan’s mom didn’t even know he was poisonous until his fangs grew in… but of course, I don’t say that. I know next to nothing about Sidyths and their medical practices.

  A silence falls between us, and only the gentle flutter of rain reminds me that life has not come to a complete stop. Carrying a poisonous child is terrifying, and I could punch myself in the face for forgetting such an important possibility. Azan, for all his intelligence, kindness, and beauty, has poisonous fangs. Poison that could be passed on to a child, who I may or may not be carrying.

  Poisonous or not, I could find a way to survive. It’s only a baby. I can do this.

  Looking at Azan, I feel stronger.

  “Azan, whether I’m pregnant or not, whether the child is like you or not, we’ll figure something out.” Azan shakes his head, and I slide closer, resting my head on his shoulder. “I’m not going to take this baby away from you. I know how much you want a family.”

  “Not at the cost of your life, York.”

  I shake my head. “I’m not going to die. If I am pregnant, I’m having this baby, and I’m staying alive for you.” It’s not a fact. There’s no guarantee, but the words won’t stop. I need to hear them. Azan needs to hear them. This baby, real or not, needs to hear them. “Azan? Do you hear me? I’m not going anywhere. I’m giving you this child. I’m giving you the family you never had.”

  “You can’t know that.”

  I don’t. Carrying an alien’s baby is scary because I don’t know what’s going to happen, but at least I know some things. I love Azan. I want to carry this baby. I want to give him a family.

  “I don’t want you to sacrifice yourself because of my childish fantasies—”

  “Wanting children and a family is not a childish fantasy. Do you want this?” I rub my stomach. “Do you want a son or daughter of your own? One to look up at you, and call you Daddy and love you more than anything in the world?”

  He licks his lips.

  “More than anything.”

  “Then you need to trust me when I say I’ll stay alive for you. If there is a baby inside of me, I’ll give this child to you, and once I do it one time, I’ll be more willing to give you another. And another. As many as you want, Azan.” I crawl into his lap and take his face into my hands. “Because you are a good man, Azan. You need kids to look up to you like you’re the sun, the moon, and the stars. I want the honor of giving that to you. Will you at least let me try? If I’m pregnant. Will you give me the chance to give this gift to you?”

  His eyes dart back and forth. “I can give you nothing in return.”

  “Are you kidding me, Azan?” I reach behind his head to unbuckle the mask and kiss him deeply. He groans into my mouth, gently taking my hips in his enormous hands to keep me steady. “Azan, you’ve given me everything! You’ve given me kindness. You’ve given me something different. I�
��m going to be okay.” I squeeze his cheeks. “You want to know how I know?”

  “How do you know?”

  “I chose you. If there is a higher power, he or she wouldn’t have brought us to together if they didn’t think I could carry this child for you.” It’s not exactly a religious statement, but it sure feels like I’m putting my faith in something beyond the spiritual. But I don’t know what else to do or say to convince Azan I can carry his baby, and I won’t do this without him.

  “Say we’ll go see Chentan,” I whisper, brushing my lips against his. “Say it’ll be okay if I’m pregnant.”

  “We’ll see him,” he croaks. “It’ll be okay.”

  “Yes.” I kiss him again.

  It will be.

  Now, if I can only get over the ick factor of how Chentan is going to figure out if I’m carrying a baby or not.

  I guess there are no readily available pregnancy tests on a planet full of exiled Sidyths.

  CHAPTER ELEVEN

  York

  “I’m not sure, but I kind of expected it to feel more like a gynecologist’s office,” I say to Blythe a few days later. “Aliens always talk about how lowly humans are, but the whole experience felt so primitive.”

  “Right?” Blythe giggles into her hand and takes another sip from her all-too-familiar mug. I’ve come to find the substance inside is something called gessroot tea, and though it’s incredibly unpleasant smelling and tasting – like valerian root – it does have incredible healing qualities.

  She’s not the only one drinking it now.

  “Yes, the whole thing is pretty gross.” I roll my eyes as Korben fluffs Blythe’s pillows while she leans back.

  “Oh my god, Korben, stop,” she grumbles, cheeks growing pink from all the attention. “I’m fine today. I’m drinking the tea, and I’m feeling better.”

  “Though I am happy you are feeling better, I am not,” Korben says, continuing to fluff her pillows. “I am going to make sure so much gessroot tea is sent over; we’ll never run out.” He turns to me, sitting on the chair in his room and lowers his attention to my stomach. “How are you feeling?”

  I shrug. Honestly, I’m feeling okay so far, just a bit more tired. The tea helps, but right now it’s more to get over the freakishly gross way Chentan figured out I’m pregnant. I shudder at the fresh memory, taking another sip of the tea.

  “Korben, go. Please. Go to the Gathering Room and see Hujun or go to the second lair. Let me have some time alone with York. You’re driving me crazy.”

  He hisses under his breath and turns away. “You are my Chosen. I want to make sure you are as comfortable as possible.”

  “I am comfortable,” she insists, waving him away. “Please go.”

  Korben doesn’t look like he wants to leave; I’m hardly surprised. I basically had to threaten Azan with no sex for a week if he didn’t let me talk to Blythe. I suppose Sidyths are expected to hover when their mates are pregnant because Azan was completely taken aback by my threat. He started to hiss, but when I arched an eyebrow, snarling about how I didn’t want to feel like I’m being kept by him, he quickly agreed, saying he would talk to Dolan during my absence.

  So now Blythe and I are alone in a Sidyth prince’s lair, talking about being pregnant with their alien babies.

  Ugh, sprogs. Sidyths call their aliens sprogs.

  Life is so weird right now, but I love weird.

  “I still can’t get over the smell of this stuff,” I mutter once Korben finally leaves the room. I’m sure he’s only a few steps away in case Blythe starts throwing up or something, but the room feels much better without a seven-foot alien filling up space. Never in a million years did I imagine a Sidyth prince being so concerned about his pregnant human mate. Life on a planet full of exiled Sidyths is a whole new world. Galaxy, actually.

  “Right? It stinks like feet.”

  “I bet it’s pretty close to valerian root,” I comment, remembering one of my mom’s favorite oils to diffuse at night. “It helps calm you down, but it stinks like gym socks.”

  “I don’t know what it is, but I love it,” Blythe says, taking another hearty sip. “I swear, I never thought this would be my life.”

  I can’t help but chuckle. She’s certainly not alone. I never thought I’d be mated to a masked, poisonous alien by choice and carrying his baby.

  “So,” Blythe says. “Do you think we should tell some of the others what to expect when they get knocked up?” She smiles.

  “No. Let them get the full Chentan experience on their own.” We both laugh, and it’s hard to think I’ve already found a good friend in Blythe. I always thought being alone was best in this line of work, but it’s like Blythe said on the ship a month ago – we need girlfriends. We need people to turn to and people we can trust.

  Having Chentan check to see if I’m pregnant was definitely a bonding experience for both of us.

  “You know,” Blythe says, lowering her voice again. “I was talking to Korben, and he’s been talking to some of his brothers. Since you and Azan are sharing a room now, and you’re pregnant… I was kind of hoping you guys would take the room right next to ours.”

  My eyes widen. I can’t help but look surprised. “But, isn’t that—”

  “It’s Glykoran’s room.” Blythe continues to impress me with how many of Sidyths she knows already. “He said he doesn’t need the extra space. He’s happy to switch rooms with Azan, and that means, you’ll be closer to me. If that’s okay.”

  I set down my cup on the tiny table next to Korben’s chair. I’ll probably need another round before I can sleep; I swear to God I’m already starting to feel the supposed morning sickness I’ve heard so much about. I can’t imagine what it must be like for Blythe.

  She looks like shit but like me, she looks so happy.

  I cross over to the bed and sit next to her, feeling awkward but rest my hand on hers. I squeeze it tightly, sharing something I never expected to have with another woman in this line of work.

  A friend.

  A sister.

  And though I don’t say anything, Blythe can tell I’m going to move next door soon, and she says something odd I don’t quite get. “Kumbaya, bitch.” She’s smiling despite the growing circles under her beautiful, brown eyes.

  “What the hell’s going on here without me?” A new voice rings happily from Blythe’s doorway, and I’m happy it’s Ellis without the fugly Sidyth by her side. She glances over her shoulder. “When I heard you two were having girl time without me, I threw a big fit until Hujun said I could go. You should have seen how pissed Sloane and Layla were, especially since Dolan showed up.”

  I share a knowing glance with Blythe as the tiny, bi-racial woman steps inside, hair wild and curly, unlike the usual braids.

  “Oh yeah, we’re totally having girl talk in here.” I roll my eyes. “And then we’re going to have a pillow fight and paint each other’s nails. I call pink.”

  “Oh! And lavender face masks!” Blythe squeals sarcastically (I think?). “I want some lavender face masks.”

  “Har har, you bitches.” Ellis takes a seat at the end of the bed.

  “So,” I tease. “You and the big one.”

  Ellis sucks in a breath. “Jesus, I thought you were kidding about girl talk.”

  “I prefer the term, pussy pillow chat.”

  “Ew.” Ellis narrows her eyes, but it’s playful.

  “This isn’t girl talk.” Blythe sits up straighter in bed. “Are you guys doing the nasty yet?” She bursts out laughing. “God! That sounds so corny. Are you pleasuring him?”

  “We’re not fucking if that’s what you’re asking.” Ellis’ cheeks are still pink, but her lower lip puckers out like she’s pouting. “Honestly, I don’t know if he even wants to fuck for fun. He says he’s watching over me as a favor to Korben.”

  “Exactly how many of us are being watched by Sidyths who think they owe Korben something?” I frown. Seriously? Another one of these cases?

&n
bsp; Ellis smiles shyly. “I’ve told him I’m interested. And I think it’s finally starting to hit him. He talks to Korben sometimes about courting a human. Hujun thinks I don’t hear him, but he’s always loud, and he never gets too far away from me.”

  I laugh. It’s so true. Hujun’s never more than a foot or two away from Ellis.

  “Aren’t you nervous?” Blythe asks.

  “About what?”

  “About his dick!” I can’t help laughing. “No offense girl, but are you five feet tall?”

  “I’m almost four, eleven, bitch!” she squeals.

  “And he’s…”

  “I never measured him,” Ellis says with a pout. “Maybe we don’t look right together, but I’m—”

  “Try to find some Galactal birth control, or you’re going to be in trouble,” I smirk at Blythe, who starts laughing like an idiot.

  “Birth control…” she trails off, eyes widening at Blythe. “Oh… my… God! Are the rumors true? You and the prince? You’re having his baby?”

  Blythe looks at me, wanting me to chime in, but I remain silent, not quite ready to spread the ‘joyous’ news of my own. Blythe nods once and turns back to Ellis. “Yup. I’m knocked up by the Sidyth prince. Sounds like a book title, doesn’t it?” We all burst out laughing, though Ellis does look a little more interested than I thought.

  “So, it’s not bad, huh?” she says in a low voice. “No… uh… surprises down there?”

  “They have scales on their dicks. They flare away from the shaft when they’re excited,” I say, rolling my eyes. “But according to Azan himself, his is one of the most scaled, so I don’t think it will be anything to worry about.”

  “They compared dicks?”

  I laugh. “He said Prince Korben himself was very impressed with the number of scales on his dick.”

  “Oh my god!” Blythe bursts out laughing. “What the actual fuck?”