"Are you ready to eat?" he asked, interrupting the silence several moments later.
"Yes. I'm starved."
Never had a meal tasted so good—the slight smokiness enhanced the flavor. Selena watched Adam feed the remaining scraps to Duke, feeling guilty she'd eaten so much.
"Have you always wanted to be an actress?" Adam stretched out on his side facing her, the warm fire compensating for the slight chill in the mountain air.
"As far back as I can remember. I used to dress up in all sorts of costumes and emote by the hour. It's a wonder my family put up with it."
"How big a family?"
"Just me—another only child."
"So you learned to entertain yourself."
"Yes. I lived in a fantasy world all my own, peopled by my favorite characters, ones I'd found in books."
"I bet you were very popular." He could see a young Selena dazzling all the boys with that smile and those sparkling blue eyes.
She laughed. "Hardly. I was the tallest one in my class through most of grade school—felt like a giraffe. In my fantasies I was always dainty, petite, looking up to all the males around. But that's all it was—fantasy."
"But when you were acting, you became someone else."
"Exactly."
"When did you decide to make it a career?"
"By the time I reached high school, the boys were beginning to catch up to my height, but I continued to spend my spare time doing plays. In fact, I won a college scholarship because of a one-act play contest I had entered during my senior year of high school."
"So you went to college, graduated, and became a star."
"Not quite. I went to college, graduated, and spent several years trying to get a break into the theatre."
"That's right. You mentioned that television hadn't been your first choice."
"True. But I'm not sorry I got involved with this series. It's just that I wasn't prepared for the type of publicity I received."
"Which was?"
"Sex symbol. Giant posters with a great deal of me showing. Interviews that were more interested in who I was sleeping with than my opinion of the world around me. You know the sort of thing."
Adam grinned. "I'm afraid not. I've never spent much time in your highly visible field. I'm embarrassed to admit I've never seen you on television, but then I haven't spent much time in this country for the last several years."
"There's nothing embarrassing about that. Despite what the network executives would like us to believe, the nation does not revolve around what's being shown on television these days."
"I'd like to see you, though."
"You're welcome to come to the studio and watch us film if you'd like."
He thought about the possibility of seeing Clay again. He was one of the few people who knew who he was—or at least who he'd been. "We'll see."
Selena could hear the change in his voice and realized that she'd accidentally touched on a sensitive area. Damn.
"Well," she said as she stretched, trying to sound unconcerned, "I think I'll make good use of that bedroll and turn in. Are we going to sleep in the cave?"
"We can, or if you'd prefer, we can stay down here by the fire."
"Oh, I'd much prefer the fire."
He stood and picked up the bedroll, flipping it open and spreading it a safe distance from the fire. "All the comforts of home."
"Except for a shower."
"I can't provide a shower, but we can certainly see that you have a hot bath when we get back to the cabin."
The thought of soaking in a hot bath sounded heavenly. "That's an offer I won't let you forget."
Adam sat down by the fire again, and she thought he looked so lonely, staring into the flames. She wished she knew what to say or do to take that look away. "Adam?"
He glanced up, waiting.
"Thank you for looking after me so well."
His gaze seemed to burn into her, and she felt a melting sensation begin deep within. Impulsively, she leaned over to kiss him. She meant it to be light, affectionate, appreciative; but when she felt the firm mouth pressed against hers, she forgot her original intentions. Instead, she lingered for a moment, only one short moment out of time, and was borne away into another realm of being, where loneliness didn't exist and strong attraction between two very different people was not only acceptable but pure pleasure—and to be tenderly nurtured and encouraged.
Adam's arms snaked around her waist and gently tugged until she tumbled into his lap. Her hands hesitantly explored the rugged contours of his face, her lips brusbing against his, softly but insistently. When his hands buried themselves in her tumbled mass of hair, forcing her mouth even closer to his, she relaxed against him, wrapping her arms around his back.
"Oh, Selena," he murmured, his harsh breathing confirming what she already knew— he wanted her and she wanted to fulfill that desire. She wanted to give him all of herself, to bathe him in her love, to bring him comfort and care. Her kiss promised him all of these things, and he groaned with the knowledge of her willingness.
Without breaking contact, he rolled, placing her on the floor beside him as he feverishly lifted the sweater from her. His hands fumbled at the snap and zipper of her jeans, and she lifted her hips, helping him to slide them off her.
He saw her shiver and scooped her up in his arms, carrying her to the sleeping bag and gently placing her inside. As though he'd been away from her too long, he stretched out beside her and began to kiss her again—mind drugging, soul searching kisses that claimed her for his very own.
His hands roamed freely from her shoulders, touching her lightly as his palm skimmed across the pink crest of her breast, down across her stomach and abdomen. Everywhere he touched, tiny sparks exploded within her. He explored the contour of her hips and thighs and returned to the soft lace framing her bikini panties.
"Are you protected, love?" he whispered, his breath caressing her ear.
Selena's eyes blinked open as she was brought abruptly down to earth by his sensible, realistic question. She forced herself to focus her gaze on his face. The stem control he was exercising showed in the tautness of his expression.
"Oh, Adam, no, I'm not. I never needed to be before and I never dreamed I'd find someone like you..."
Her incoherent murmurings flicked across him like razor sharp whips. "You mean you've never—"
She shook her head, discovering how shy she felt even to discuss it after the years she'd spent being surrounded by people who automatically assumed...
Adam sat up, the control he'd maintained causing him to tremble. He flipped the top of the bedroll over her, then grabbed the zipper and brought it up the side. She was effectively locked away from him.
Selena tried to sit up, feeling like a mummy ready for entombment. She struggled to free her hands and reached for Adam. "Don't be angry, Adam, please."
"Angry?" He looked at her in surprise. "Dammit, Selena, I'm not angry. What I'm feeling right now is much more uncomfortable than anger! But why did you let me go on as though you intended to go through with it?"
"I didn't intend to stop you," she admitted in a low voice.
He sat beside the bedroll and stared at her, bewildered. With her looks and her profession, he knew she could only be in an untouched state through choice—her choice. And yet she'd been willing—even eager—to forget all of that with him.
His thoughts shook him. The possible explanations astounded him. They also scared the hell out of him.
He had never made a commitment to anyone in his life. Until meeting Selena, he had never given a thought to the idea. Not only his life-style and occupation but his very nature precluded his spending his life with anyone.
The fire had died down, only occasionally shooting up enough to give light. He saw the bewildered look on her face. Whatever chemical reaction was caused whenever the two of them drew close to each other, it should be labeled EXPLOSIVE. She seemed to be as confused by it as he was.
Neve
r had Adam felt quite so old. He pushed himself up, his body protesting. His body knew exactly what he needed, but he was moving in the wrong direction.
"Try to get some sleep. We'll go to the cabin first thing tomorrow. D.G. said he'd see about having my tires replaced. As soon as that's done, I'll help you get back to town."
She nodded, not trusting >her voice. Now that he knew she had no experience, he didn't want her. The irony of the situation was almost laughable, if she'd been in the mood. For the first time in her life, she'd met a man she loved enough to want to make love to, and he wasn't interested because she was a novice.
Nobody would believe me if I told them. Silent tears trickled down her cheeks while she waited for sleep to blot the past hour from her mind. You may be a sex symbol to the rest of the nation, but you just flunked the course here.
Chapter Eight
When Adam awoke, the sky was growing light. Only the strongest stars showed their positions in the sky and they were rapidly fading. As usual, as soon as his eyes opened he was instantly alert. He noted that Selena was still asleep—only the top of her golden hair showed over the sleeping bag.
Duke snored peacefully nearby, used to nights spent out in the open. When Adam first came to the mountain, he'd spent more time outdoors than inside the cabin. He'd fought the phobia of confinement by sleeping under the stars. Many nights he'd lain awake, fighting sleep and the ensuing nightmares that had haunted him for months.
Sometime during the winter months, so imperceptibly as to be unnoticed, he'd begun to accept the healing balm of sleep. Slowly his mind had let go of the unspeakable horrors he'd witnessed and allowed them to be buried deep within him.
He'd been deathly tired of his fife-style—of striving, of battling the outlandish odds. The mountains had welcomed him, and although he hadn't realized it until now, they had healed him. The physical scars he carried were only a small portion of his total injuries. He'd accepted the fact that he would be emotionally crippled for the rest of his life.
And then Selena appeared in his life, her off-beat sense of humor startling and intriguing turn, her ability to accept and deal with inexplicable incidents surprising him. There were no shrill demands, no hysteria.
When had he fallen in love with her? He wasn't even sure. Perhaps while she stood before him, drenched, her blue eyes meeting his without flinching, her delicate chin raised slightly to meet courageously whatever was happening to her. Or was it when he first kissed her after finding her unconscious not far from his doorstep?
He recalled his moment of panic when he first saw her—not another death for him to deal with; it was too soon. He recalled his relief when he discovered she was alive and relatively unharmed.
But when he realized she was giving herself to him totally last night, when she'd never given herself to anyone before, he'd been overwhelmed by his love for her.
The question was: what the hell was he going to do about it?
He had nothing to offer her. His skills were not the most marketable in a legitimate world. Since he'd invested most of his earnings over the past several years, he didn't need to work to survive, but he couldn't very well offer a Hollywood actress the rare treat of living in a mountain cabin with a self-styled hermit for the rest of her fife.
He wasn't at all sure he could even function in the society in which she dwelled. Even if he could, would he want to?
The mountains to the east were black silhouettes and the soft clouds above them began to turn shades of purple and vermilion. Adam lay quietly watching as nature's canvas took on the varied colors of dawn in rapidly changing patterns.
Selena was being chased by faceless pursuers. She was running down a narrow, winding road, and the trees were leaning closer and closer, reaching out long limbs to snag at her. She was running out of breath but she had to keep running. She could hear them panting behind her... panting...
She sat up with a start. Duke sat up by her side, his wide mouth grinning, his tongue lolling as he watched the terror in her eyes gradually recede.
"You dumb dog! You scared me to death."
He rifted his paw for her to shake.
"And don't try to change the subject." She looked around her and noted a new fire burning but no sign of Adam. ''What are you doing here, anyway? Why aren't you with your friend?"
Duke cocked his head slightly, seemingly puzzled by her question.
"Never mind." The sun felt good on her arms. She glanced at her watch and was surprised to discover it was after eight o'clock. She must have slept for hours, rejection notwithstanding.
A drifting thought circled then danced away, and she smiled. She had pictured herself going to Adam and offering to run home and get some experience if he promised to wait until she got back.
No. That probably wouldn't work. She knew it wasn't because he didn't find her attractive. The high voltage electricity generated between them could not be all one-sided. Besides, his body had shown physical evidence that he was quite able to carry their lovemaking to its inevitable conclusion. Only he wasn't willing.
I wonder if I should try to seduce him? She had no trouble playing that type of role— mostly because the writers told her exactly what to do. Besides, the actors always knew how to respond. Without a script, she was helpless. Well, maybe not as much helpless as unimaginative.
She sighed.
Oh, well, life goes on. She unzipped the bag and suddenly remembered, as the cool morning air hit her nice, warm body, that she had slept only in her briefs. Adam was quite proficient at stripping her down to the basics with a few economical movements.
He'd said he'd brought her a change of clothes. Gingerly stepping across the dew dampened grass, Selena dug into the backpack for his promised treat.
Adam had caught a nice string of fish for breakfast. He was almost within hailing distance of their campsite when he noticed Selena was stirring. She was kneeling by his pack and obviously found what she was looking for because she let out a satisfied "Hah" and stood up.
He froze, one foot a few inches off the ground. The sunlight gilded her body; she was clad only in the tiniest excuse for panties he'd seen, and he suddenly understood why her promoters had considered fife-size posters.
Her body was flawless. From her smoothly shaped shoulders and arms to her saucy breasts, flat stomach and gently swelling hips, she could have modeled for one of the Renaissance painters or sculptors. Her long legs were shapely and firm, and Adam discovered that his racing pulse and shortness of breath were becoming a problem.
He managed to turn around and gaze back the way he'd come, taking slow, deep breaths, and he reminded himself that his stay on the mountain had turned him into a healthy, normal human being. His reaction to her was certainly proof of that.
After waiting for several minutes, he slowly turned around again—and breathed a sigh of relief. Selena was completely clothed and sitting by the fire, warming her hands and talking to Duke.
Duke was the first to see rum. Barking joyously, Duke ran over to his master, gamboled around him and darted back to Selena. She began to laugh at his antics.
"He's a real clown, isn't he?"
"At times," Adam admitted. He held up the string of fish. "How about some breakfast. Are you tired of fish?"
"No. That sounds great. Shall I help?"
"There's not much to do. If you want to dig out the skillet I brought and get it ready, I'll have these cleaned shortly."
They ate in companionable silence. Selena had been afraid Adam would be cool and formal with her, after what had happened—or almost happened—the night before. Instead, he seemed relaxed and casually friendly.
"Do you ever get down to Los Angeles?" she asked while they cleaned up after breakfast.
"I've flown in and out of the airport—that's about all."
"If you're ever down that way, I hope you'll give me a call. I'll be glad to show you around."
Adam smiled. "If I'm ever down that way."
"Okay, so most her
mits don't do much traveling, but even a hermit needs a vacation once in a while. Look at me. I work around people all the time, so I vacation in the solitude of the mountains. You spend all your time in the mountains, so it makes sense you'd vacation where there are people."
"Sounds logical."
"Of course it does." She looked around the site, noting that Adam had carefully put out the fire and scattered the ashes. "Are we ready to go?"
"Just about." He finished repacking his backpack and settled it easily on his shoulders. "Let's go."
The hike back covered some rough terrain, and Adam did it in easy stages.
"I had no idea it was so far," Selena finally admitted, sinking gratefully to the ground.
"It really isn't all that far, but we have to go in a round about way to get there. We almost could have seen the cabin from the ridge overlooking the meadow we were in. But we have to make a loop in order to get there."
"At this rate, I should be in great shape when I get home." She felt along her calf where pains were shooting.
"There's nothing wrong with your shape," he muttered, thinking of the early morning view.
Selena blushed, remembering how she'd encouraged him to strip her the night before. He must think she was shameless. Come to think of it, she almost was where he was concerned. She couldn't understand how he'd become so important to her so quickly.
"We should be there in another hour. Trunk you can make it?"
"Of course. Lead on, oh mighty leader."
For the rest of the hike, Selena kept going only by recalling the promised hot bath. Once she got inside the tub, she'd never crawl out again.
Never had one small cabin looked so good. Duke loped ahead of them,; systematically checking to see if there had been visitors since he'd left. He obviously was satisfied with his inspection because he came bounding back to them. Selena wished she had some of his energy.
Adam unlocked the door and, after making a motion for her to wait, stepped inside. After carefully scanning the room, he nodded for her to come in. His habits were so ingrained she doubted he was even aware of them.
I wonder if he will ever be comfortable living in our society, she mused. The increased crime rate and the public's apparent helplessness in combating it made his skills useful, but dangerous.
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