He glanced around the room, then back at her. "After living alone all of this time I can better understand why I could have missed you—your voice, your presence—but I don't quite understand why you've missed me." He gently stroked her hair away from her face and she could feel the slight tremor.
"Because I love you, Adam," she answered softly.
He froze, his expression incredulous. "You what?"
"Is that so surprising?"
He lifted her onto his lap so that he was looking into her eyes from only a few inches away. "Surprising? More like a miracle, Selena," he murmured.
With the most gentle of movements his arms slowly tightened around her, bringing her closer to him. His face was filled with a look of wonder, almost awe, when he lowered his mouth to hers.
Selena felt as though she'd finally come home because home would always be in Adam's arms. His kiss told her all she needed to know. He'd missed her, he wanted her and he was confused about his feelings.
She gave herself up to the sensations that only Adam seemed to evoke within her. Bells seemed to go off around her every time he kissed her. Then she realized that the noise she heard was the timer going off—her casserole needed to come out of the oven.
Reluctantly she pulled back from him. "Our dinner is ready," she whispered.
"I wonder who was saved by the bell?"
She grinned. "Not you, my friend. I'm going to feed you and lull you into a false sense of security and then—"
"And then what?"
She gracefully stood up, pulling him up beside her. "And then...you'll have to wait and see."
His hand rested lightly on her waist as she stood in the circle of his arms. "I can hardly wait."
Selena escaped to the kitchen and turned off the buzzer. After carefully transferring the casserole into a serving dish, she placed their salads and plates on a large tray and returned to the other room.
Adam stood staring out at the view and she had a moment to study him. He'd removed his jacket and rolled up the sleeves of his shirt. His arms were darkly tanned, a pleasing contrast to the light color of the shirt It didn't seem to matter what he wore; his clothes became a backdrop to his physique and his personality. Somehow they managed to enhance him.
She wished she were an artist and could draw the strong, smooth lines of his body, showing the strength—and the tenderness— that were there.
He glanced around when she placed the tray on the table. "I'm sorry. I should have offered to help you."
She grinned. "Oh, you helped a great deal—by staying in here. I seem to have trouble concentrating whenever you're around."
"Funny. I have the same complaint about you."
They smiled, and the soft ebb and flow of desire and longing seemed to draw them closer.
"Please sit down," Selena motioned to the table. They sat down across from each other and she lit the candles. The small floral arrangement picked up the peach tones, and Adam wondered if she knew they matched the soft flush of her cheeks. He enjoyed watching the unflappable Selena Stanford, behaving as an uncertain schoolgirl.
He'd learned a great deal about her since their time together on the mountain. He'd gone out and bought a television set, which meant he also had to invest in a small generator as well as the expensive equipment needed to pick up the signals he needed—just so he could watch her. If he hadn't been in love with her before, seeing her week after week would have done it for him.
She was adorable—unaffected, lighthearted, glamorous, seductive and a rare comedienne. A bundle of talent wrapped in a gorgeous package.
Who wouldn't love her?
She'd told him she loved him, but what did that really mean to her? Her life-style was totally foreign to him. Perhaps she fell in and out of love on a regular basis.
But she's never made love to anyone, he reminded himself. That thought had haunted him for weeks because she'd willingly offered herself to him. Perhaps her feelings for him were special.
That's what he'd come to Los Angeles to find out.
They laughed a great deal over their meal. Adam shared several of Duke's antics with her, and she told him of some of the silliness that took place on the set to release some of the tremendous tension and pressure that was as much a part of the series as the set on which they performed.
They talked about what had happened on the mountain. They talked about sports, and politics and saving the whales. They talked about wars and rumors of wars. They talked about anything—and everything—but themselves.
"Was there a particular reason you came to L.A. at this time, Adam?" she asked while pouring their coffee.
"In a way. There was a man I decided to see who has been trying to contact me for several months."
"Oh?" Did she dare pry?
"He wants me to come to work for him, sort of as a freelance insurance investigator."
"How did he know of you?"
"He said I came highly recommended. It sounds like D.G.'s planning the next stage of my recovery for me—forcing me back into the world."
"Do you think you'll do it?"
He glanced at her over his cup. "Let's just say I'm thinking about it"
She tilted her head slightly. "Would it be possible to coax you into trying it to see if you'd like to do it?"
"Are you volunteering to do the coaxing?" he asked with interest.
"I might be."
The teasing expression slowly left his face and he looked at her intently. "I'm not sure I'm ready to leave my retreat, Selena."
"Will you ever be?"
"I don't know. I know that it was my salvation. Perhaps that's where I need to stay."
"You're the only one who can decide that, Adam."
"Yes. It's only lately that I've discovered it's rather lonely up there without Eve." "I see. Are you taking applications?" "Are you applying for the position?" Selena wondered how she could sound so lighthearted and flippant, when they were talking about something she wanted more than anything she'd ever dreamed, of before. Yes, she enjoyed acting, but she'd discovered that without Adam in her life, she didn't feel fulfilled.
But she had commitments—a contract—and right now she couldn't go running off to Eden, no matter how attractive the offer.
Selena stood up and gathered their plates. Adam followed her with the cups and wine glasses into the kitchen. Her lack of a response to his last teasing comment told him all he needed to know. She had her life already established and it did not include him.
Finally he broke the silence. "That was a wonderful meal, Selena."
She glanced over her shoulder while she rinsed off the dishes. "Thank you."
"I know you must be tired. I'd better go so you can get some rest"
She reached over and with studied precision turned off the water. Then she dried her hands carefully on a small hand towel before turning to face him.
"You're going back to the mountains," she stated in a neutral tone. "Yes."
Walking over to him she rested her palm against his cheek. "I'm so glad I had the chance to get to know you, Adam. You're a very special person."
He slipped his arms around her. "So are you, love."
"Do you suppose we met at the wrong time?" she asked wistfully.
He shook his head. "Not for me. You came into my life at just the right moment."
He leaned down and softly kissed her.
"So now we're going to be friends," she whispered painfully.
"Friends? What I'm feeling for you is much stronger than friendship."
"What are you feeling?"
"Such a powerful surge of love that it almost frightens me. I don't understand it"
Selena realized that unless she wanted the nebulous beginning of their relationship to dwindle and die from lack of nourishment, she would have to be the one to force the issue. Otherwise, Adam would walk out of that door and return to his hiding place. $he almost panicked. They needed time—time to get used to having the other one as a part of their live
s, but how could she gain that time?
"Adam, please don't go."
The quiet intensity in her voice touched a chord of longing deep within him, and he looked down at the beautiful woman in his arms, certain she could feel the trembling of his body. Her eyes were filled with tenderness and a yearning he'd never witnessed before, directed toward him.
What did he have to offer her? Nothing but the broken shell of a man who'd spent too many years alone in too many dangerous situations, who wasn't even sure he could function in the only world she knew. She had come into his life like a bright ray of sunshine lighting the dark tunnel of his mind. How could he consider trying to capture that ray of light? She had too much to offer, too much talent to waste it hidden away with him on his mountaintop, and he didn't have the courage to join her world. Did he have the courage to walk away?
"Selena, we both know it won't work, whatever this is between us."
"It won't work, or you aren't going to give it a chance?"
She stood there in his arms, feeling the tension in his body, and fought for her very life's happiness. She wouldn't give up, not as long as he continued to look at her like a starving man presented with a loaded buffet table, only to be told he couldn't partake of the food.
His impassive tone belied his tortured expression. "It will only make it harder on both of us."
"Will it?"
"I care too much for you to love you, then walk away."
Her arms came up slowly around his neck. "Then don't walk away."
His last coherent thought was, this isn't fair. She's perfected her abilities to be able to seduce anyone. How can I resist her?
He knew that he couldn't. A slight groan escaped him while his mouth found hers like a homing device locked on target. She felt so right in his arms, just where she belonged, and he ached with his need for her.
Selena pulled back a few inches and looked up at him, breathless. The smile she gave him was blissful. She began to unfasten his tie.
"Selena..."
"Hmmm?" With agile fingers she opened the buttons of his shirt. "Are you sure?"
"I've never been more sure of anything in my life." She glanced up at him but couldn't face the burning intensity in his eyes. She dropped her gaze and stared at his belt buckle. I can't do it, she admitted to herself. Buttons, yes; belt buckles, uh uh. Television never allowed anything below the belt so she had no experience to fall back on. She glanced at his cuffs and debated about them "Selena?"
She could feel the heat in her face. "Hmmm?"
"Look at me." Was that amusement in his voice? Her gaze traveled to his mouth. There was a definite hint of laughter in the slight tilt of his lips.
She forced herself to meet his eyes. His smile widened. "If you're planning my seduction, couldn't you find a more comfortable place than the kitchen?"
The kitchen? Selena glanced around the room in surprise. She'd forgotten that's where they were.
Adam started laughing. "Oh, love, you are priceless. Did you know that?"
He picked her up in his arms and walked out of the room. The hallway beckoned to him and he followed it to the open door at the end. Adam paused at the entrance of what was obviously Selena's bedroom.
"This room looks much more comfortable." He allowed her to slide slowly from his arms until her toes touched the floor.
"Now, then," he murmured. "Where were we?"
Selena had been distracted by his bare chest and the fact that she'd been clutched to it. She glanced around the room then back at him.
The love and tenderness in his face made her knees even weaker than before. When his arms came around her she felt as if she were melting all over him.
His kiss was gentle—a promise of the future, but even more than that, it was a promise of their future. Selena knew that somehow, in some way, their lives would be worked out together.
She felt the zipper of her gown slide open. Adam carefully pulled it away from her, his expression of awe and anticipation reminiscent of a child at Christmas.
"You are so beautiful," he muttered as though to himself. "And I love you so much."
Once again he lifted her, this time placing her gently in the center of the bed. He stepped back from the bed, quickly discarding the rest of his clothing. His wide, muscled chest beckoned to her and Selena was engulfed in the melting sensation of the physical need to touch and caress him. When he lowered himself to her side, she tenderly brushed the bare expanse of flesh, unafraid of the next step in their relationship. She wanted to belong to Adam, she wanted to be all that he needed or wanted, and she knew she was taking the first step by giving herself to him without reservation.
Adam's tender caresses made Selena briefly wonder who was doing the seducing but decided not to be concerned—the results were what was important. Loving Adam is what is important.
With controlled expertise Adam initiated her into the delights of lovemaking. He didn't rush her. Instead he cherished the opportunity to explore and acquaint himself with the vulnerable peaks and hollows that made up the woman he adored.
Hesitantly Selena followed his lead, imitating his soft touch and delicate caress. She found him magnificent without clothes and stroked his taut muscles with fascination.
Selena felt no fear or confusion. She knew that Adam loved her and that out of some misguided sense of chivalry was prepared to walk out of her life—but not if she could help it.
Adam had a sense of unreality about what was happening. Had he spent too many nights dreaming about having her in his arms? Would he wake up to find this, too, was only a dream?
Her light perfume reassured him. Surely dreams didn't come fully equipped with the scent of her. His hands continued their exploration of her body. She felt so good to him.
When he finally possessed her, Selena felt only a momentary discomfort, then was caught up with the new sensations he was evoking. With a tenderness that brought tears to her eyes, Adam showed her the world of sensual pleasure. It surrounded them both, creating a universe of love and fulfillment that transcended the decisions they would have to make in order to spend their lives together.
Selena felt that she was still floating high above the clouds when Adam drowsily murmured, "Are you sure you don't want to come back with me?"
She lazily moved her head on his shoulder so she could see his face. "It isn't a question of what I want, I'm afraid. I have a contract to fulfill. There's no way I can get out of it" She didn't want to make any decisions for him. He had to work through his situation for himself. All she could do was offer him her unqualified love.
He kissed her, a leisurely kiss that promised a great deal. "It's going to be a little inconvenient carrying on a long-distance affair."
Selena felt her heart leap in her chest. Of course. Neither of them had mentioned marriage. She remembered all that he had told her—about his solitary childhood, his need for independence, his lone-wolf life-style. Well, she would have to become so necessary to him, so utterly indispensable, that he would discover his need for her. Was his love for her enough to coax him from his solitary existence? Only time and patience would tell. But she was willing to gamble her future on his eventual capitulation to the strong ties they had already forged together.
Adam needed to learn that she did not intend to tie him down or bind him in any way. He reminded her of a wolf whom she was coaxing from the wild life to a safe, warm refuge. She would have to do it in stages. With a sense of satisfaction she remembered that the wolf mated for life.
She kissed him under the ear. "I'll come up to see you whenever I can, you know that."
He sighed, vaguely discontent with the proposed relationship, but unsure why. "I suppose I could spend some time down here with you," he said slowly.
"Only if that's what you want."
He tightened his arm, pulling her so that she was sprawled on top of his chest. "You are what I want. I can't seem to get enough of you." He pulled her mouth down to his, his kiss igniting fires that Selen
a had innocently assumed were banked for the night
"I love you, Adam," she murmured when he paused, his heart thumping hard against his chest
His gaze took in her tumbled hair, slightly swollen mouth and love-warmed eyes. "I love you, too," he started to say when his voice broke.
That was all that mattered to Selena. She knew the coming months would be difficult, but she had faith in their love and in their ability to face the future together.
Chapter Eleven
The bright illumination of the summer storm lit up the sky and was immediately followed by a crash of thunder. Selena peered through the sluice of water cascading over the windshield and shook her head.
The storm reminded her of the first time she'd traveled to the mountains, looking for a quiet retreat. In the three years since then, her life had taken a different turn in many respects.
She'd found love in the mountains three years ago—and peace. She'd come to grips with the fact that her life could be whatever she wanted it to be, if she only had the courage to make it so.
Her headlights picked up the curve in the road ahead, and she knew that the road she was looking for branched off around the corner. Selena no longer worried about getting lost—she'd made the trip too many times for that. She sometimes thought she could make the trip with her eyes closed. Each twist and turn had been memorized.
Selena pulled into the area where Adam kept his Jeep and almost cried with disappointment. He wasn't there. She had left a message at his office, saying where she'd be for the next several days, but it was anyone's guess when he'd call in for his messages.
When Adam set out to do something, he became totally involved. When he had decided to open his own office in San Francisco and become a consulting investigator, Selena had encouraged him. It had taken a strong resolve for him to strike out on his own. The trouble with Adam was that he was too good at what he did. The demands made on him were enormous, and he was too conscientious not to give his total concentration to each task he undertook.
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