Charis

by Francis, Mary

  But for Charis there was always the spectre of Henry. He was back. Not phone calls any more…not even notes through the front door. Now it was worse. Now it was photographs - a photograph of her and Ben walking along the embankment pushing Paul in his pram, another of them having a picnic in the park. And then a note. ‘I'm still watching you.’ The terror was back and the nightmares began again, but they weren’t quite the same. Now she knew it was Henry in her dream chasing her and she knew in the dream that when he caught her he would beat her and rape her and with each dream he got a little closer. What would happen when he caught her? Not in the dream. No. When he caught her in real life.

  *****

  The Covington family was still growing. Amelia's little boy, Jacob, was now nine months old and Jennifer was expecting another baby girl soon. They planned on calling her Anne. So family time at Willow Bend was always quite hectic and Emily was glad that they still had a house big enough to accommodate them all when they visited. Although most weekends they had someone from the family there, on special occasions the whole family would gather, and to the Covington’s, lots of times were special, especially with all those birthdays to celebrate. Ben and Charis made it whenever they could, as long as Ben wasn’t working or on call. They desired Paul to grow up knowing all his cousins and his loving grandparents.

  The older Paul got the more he looked like his father. His hair and eyes were dark brown and Charis thought he was going to be tall and slim, although he was a bit on the chubby side right now. When he smiled she imagined that’s what Ben had looked like at the same age and Emily confirmed it for her when she said, “Oh my goodness, he’s Ben all over again.”

  One evening as they were sitting together after Paul was asleep, Charis broached the subject of having another baby. “Now that we have a little boy that looks just like his wonderful father, don't you think it's about time we thought about that little girl you wanted?”

  “You do understand that there's no guarantee it would be a girl, don't you?” he reminded her.

  “Of course I do. But I’d be just as happy to have another boy so Paul could have a little brother to play with,” she answered him. “As long as you won't mind waiting for your little girl.”

  “Let's get started then,” he said as he stood up, took her hand and led her to the bedroom.

  *****

  At Meadow Lea Hall the Maitlands had come to the end of their lease but were still renewing it each year. Another daughter had married but no grandchildren had arrived, so instead of going back to America to visit, their two daughters and their husbands visited them. Charis was still expecting them to go home one day, especially when grandchildren arrived. Then she and Ben would have to make some life changing decisions, but until that time came they just got on with their lives.

  Life, however, does not go on forever and sadly Sam Chandler died. Charis had known him all her life and he’d been very dear to her. Eve decided to go back to France to be with her family, as she had no family in England, they’d never had children, and she had brothers and a sister and several nieces and nephews who lived in and around Paris. She signed the little basement flat back to Charis and left almost as soon as the funeral was over. Charis wanted to buy it back from her but she refused. She still had the money from the sale of the little book shop and it would be more than enough for her for the rest of her life.

  “We lived here all our married life,” she said. “And you never charged anything but nominal rent. You’ve done more than enough for us and for me.” And so she left and Charis felt as if another remnant of her childhood had gone. But it meant that the little flat was now empty, and could easily be incorporated into the main house, so they met with Jennifer and David to see if they’d be able to use the extra space now that their family was growing. It was agreed and Charis called the architect who’d helped with her home and arranged for the work to be done.

  *****

  That summer was the first year that Ben and Charis rented a cottage in Cornwall for their holidays. Paul was fifteen months old and loved his first experience at the beach. Ben built him sandcastles and took him paddling in the water. They searched for little creatures in the rock pools, went for walks along the sea front and sat on the sand eating fish and chips with their fingers. For the second week, Emily and Giles came and spent a few days with them and they took Paul out once or twice leaving Ben and Charis with a little time on their own. One evening after Paul was asleep, Ben took Charis to a small restaurant overlooking the sea and as they ate they watched the waves crashing in on the shore and the sun going down over the horizon. It was a lovely evening and a real treat, as they didn't go out alone very often. Mrs. Everett had babysat for them a couple of times and Paul had always slept well, but they were hesitant to go often or far just in case they were needed. Having Emily and Giles to look after Paul gave them a real feeling of freedom.

  Home in London again, and so was Henry. She'd seen him, or thought she had, watching her house. Was he watching her come and go? There were more notes poked through her letterbox. She always burned them…hoping that destroying them would get rid of him, too. But, of course, it didn't and it didn't get rid of the fear either.

  By the end of the year Charis knew she was pregnant again. The baby would be due in early August when Paul would be two years and two months old. Once again she was sick but not as bad as last time, which she thought was just as well because she certainly had a lot more to do already having a child to care for. Paul was getting to be quite a handful. He had a mind of his own and was determined to get his own way. He was always on the move…as though he had a lot to accomplish each day, then he crashed at night and slept well ‘til morning. But he was more fun than trouble and kept them amused with the things he did and the little sayings he came out with as he learned to talk.

  Charis treasured the evenings that she and Ben had together. She still found time to play the piano most days, although she wasn't teaching any more, but she wanted to keep up her skills for her own pleasure and the enjoyment she and Ben both got when she played for him after Paul had gone to bed.

  Henry must have left the country again because the harassment stopped but her fear of dying in childbirth didn't. It wasn't as bad this pregnancy. She’d survived one birth, maybe she would survive the next too. But the fear was still there…real…hovering in the back of her mind.

  They celebrated Christmas again at Willow Bend but it was getting more and more difficult to go away for any length of time because of the amount of stuff they were required to take for Paul. Charis didn't know how they would survive it when they had two children. Jennifer and David had already decided that overnight trips were out of the question, but would be there for Christmas dinner. With so many children in the family now Emily and Giles had changed the gift giving. The adults didn’t receive presents anymore. Instead, each child got a small gift from their Nana and Granddad.

  Christmas was over and the New Year came and went and soon it was spring. Paul thrived and grew and played and chatted all day long. He was almost ready to give up his daytime nap, at the stage where if he missed it he wanted to fall asleep about five o'clock in the afternoon and then not go to bed at night, but if he slept in the day he was awake until ten. It was a difficult task making him take a nap at noon or keeping him awake during the afternoon, but she preferred that to the alternatives.

  And then, before they knew it, it was their wedding anniversary. They’d been married for five years. Once again Charis thought, Where has the time gone?

  Emily and Giles came to London so Ben and Charis could have a night out to celebrate. First, they put Paul to bed, worn out because his Nana and Granddad were there, and then they went to dinner and to a concert at the Albert Hall and didn't arrive home until nearly midnight. It was the end of May - a long weekend and Ben's parents were staying for three days. Emily and Giles took full advantage of the time with Paul; playing with him, reading to him and taking him for walks. Charis and B
en spent time alone and Charis was able to get some extra rest. She was feeling very pregnant now and tired easily, but still had three months to go, so she relished the relaxed weekend, her one on one time with Ben. She knew it was unlikely to happen again for a long time.

  The day that Emily and Giles headed home she received the card. An anniversary card. It wasn't signed, it just said, ‘I hope you enjoyed your anniversary. It's the last one you'll have.’ Ben was working so hard that she didn’t think she could tell him. She kept wondering if some horror would happen to her and it took her days before she began to recover sufficiently that it didn't fill her whole mind. Sometimes she felt as though she was living in the middle of a nightmare and she suffered through the terror of it alone. But then all would be quiet again and the fear lifted.

  Ben had been asked to take over the senior consultancy at one of the NHS hospitals. He accepted the appointment on the understanding that he could still continue with his private work at St. Anne's. It meant that he was extremely busy, now that teaching was part of his regular job. At least he got called out less at night, unless there was a really difficult situation to deal with. He was no longer doing Helen's TV show as her regular gynaecologist, as his new work schedule wouldn't allow the time, and he considered that a big advantage as he’d never felt really comfortable in front of television cameras anyway, although he did still appear occasionally as a special guest. The day of his last regular appearance Helen had managed to talk Charis into appearing with him and to bring Paul, too. Their time on camera had been brief but it had proved to be very popular. However, there was an ominous development.

  Another note came from Henry. “Nice appearance on TV. You look happy. But for how long?” As with all the other notes, she burned it immediately and tried unsuccessfully to put it from her mind.

  Paul's second birthday was spent at Willow Bend so he could have a party with his cousins. Apart from Jennifer and David, all the rest of the family lived in Hampshire. Paul didn't understand much about birthdays yet, but he did understand presents and he had a wonderful time tearing off the wrapping paper and opening up his gifts. He was turning into a charming little boy and seemed quite clever for his age, holding proper conversations with his grown up relatives and bossing his cousins around with an air of superiority.

  “It's his royal heritage coming out,” commented Jennifer, who promptly got a cushion thrown at her by Ben.

  The due date for Charis' second baby was nearing. They’d learned they were having a girl and settled on the name Emma Elizabeth, after both her mother and Ben’s. Ben's birthday was the middle of July and they celebrated with dinner at home, once more with Emily and Giles. They’d all gone to bed when Charis unexpectedly went into labour, two weeks early. This birth was much quicker than the first but just as painful, and when Charis was at the point of thinking she couldn't bear any more, she gave one final push and Emma was born.

  Once again their baby had been born at home with just Ben in attendance, but this time no one was standing by at St. Anne's. For Charis it was important that she and Ben were alone when their babies were born. It seemed such an intimate moment and having anyone else there would have spoiled it for her. Ben seemed to know just how to rub her back and when she should push and what to do, which of course was his job to know, so she trusted him implicitly. And afterwards she was very grateful that Emily was there for the help she gave in taking care of the baby.

  Ben was absolutely delighted with the birth of his longed-for little girl. The next morning he brought Paul into their bedroom to meet his little sister.

  “Is Emma?” he asked.

  “Yes,” said Ben. “Your sister, Emma.”

  “Not in Mummy's tummy now?”

  “No, she wanted to meet you. You're her brother, you know.”

  “Me look after her,” he said, and he touched Emma's cheek with his hand.

  “Thank you, darling,” Charis told him. “She is so lucky to have a big brother like you. She’ll love you so much. Come and sit by me, on the bed, and you can hold her hand if you like.”

  The three of them sat together on the bed and loved and admired the new addition to their family.

  Emma's little cot was in their bedroom. They couldn’t put Paul in the upstairs bedroom, it was too far from their own, and the nursery/dressing room wasn't big enough for two little cots. They decided that when Emma was old enough to sleep through the night they would put both of them in an upstairs bedroom together, but that wouldn't be for a few months yet. Their house was big enough for them at present but they could see that the time would come when they’d need more space. The time would come when they'd have to think about the future. Would they, or could they, live at Meadow Lea Hall? If so, what would Ben do about his work? Chippenham and Bath were both close enough for him to commute, and his reputation in his field of medicine good enough that he should be able to work anywhere in the country. They must start to give some thought to future opportunities.

  But for the moment Charis just enjoyed her life with Ben and her two children. If only Henry would disappear from the planet her life would be perfect but there were still constant reminders of his presence; sightings of him in the distance – real or imagined – or an occasional note through the front door. It still upset her but as time went on she managed to banish the fear and content herself with her growing family.

  She got as much joy from Emma as she had from Paul, indeed as she still got from Paul. It was so much fun to see him grow up and watch his mind developing. He became more and more like his father every day, and in the beginning, Emma seemed to have her father's colouring, too. Her hair was definitely brown, but not quite as dark. Charis wasn't sure what colour her eyes were going to be, they were still blue, but whether they’d stay that way was debatable. It wasn't long before she was smiling and reacting to her brother as he tried to play with her. He was always so gentle with her, another way he was like Ben, and he devotedly looked after her, running to his mother if he felt Emma needed something that he couldn’t supply or help with.

  By Christmas Emma was almost crawling, managing to scoot herself around the floor, not far, but far enough that she had to be watched carefully. She was finally sleeping through the night so the time came to move both children into their new room and Paul into a grown up bed – he could get out of his cot any time he wanted now anyway. And as much as Charis adored Emma, she was glad to have their bedroom back, so the move was made and it worked well.

  Having the baby asleep in the corner of the room had made Charis feel somewhat inhibited. Now that Emma was in another room she looked forward to making up for lost time. Ben needed no encouragement to resume their intimate relationship after the baby had been born. The only concession they made was that now Charis kept a nightgown on when she went to bed because Paul sometimes came into their room when he awoke in the morning and she it didn't feel it appropriate to not be dressed.

  “I rather like it,” Ben told her with a big grin and a twinkle in his eyes. “Now I have to go on a treasure hunt for what I want.” He still had the power to make her blush.

  They made the decision not to go to Willow Bend on Christmas Day. It was a hard decision to make because they loved it when the whole family was together, but it was time to start their own family traditions. So Christmas Day was just the four of them. They would go to see the rest of the family on Boxing Day; drive down to have lunch and then back home for the children to sleep in their own beds.

  Paul was getting old enough to understand a little about Christmas. They’d put decorations up and fairy lights and a Christmas tree and Paul was entranced with the wonder of it all. Charis had told him the Christmas story and read to him about the birth of the baby Jesus. Now that Paul had a baby in the house it had a bit more meaning for him and they sang the carols that told the story of the birth and the star, the angels and the Wise Men. And then he went to bed hoping that he’d been good enough that Father Christmas would bring him some presents
. When he awoke in the morning Paul found that his little stocking was bulging with presents and there were more under the tree.

  Their day was delightful. Charis cooked a delicious dinner and included things that she knew Paul would like and they sat and watched the Queen's Christmas message then Paul and his daddy played on the floor with his new toys and managed to include Emma in the fun. Charis joined in some of the time or sat and watched them with tears in her eyes because she was so filled with happiness she thought she might burst.

  A big relief for Charis was when their wedding anniversary came and went without incident. No more cards. No more phone calls. All was quiet. Charis had concluded that Henry didn’t really want to hurt her. He was just trying to scare her and he’d succeeded in that. And as the days passed…the weeks passed…the months passed…she knew she must be right. Her family was still together, still happy and full of love for each other. She felt her decision not to mention anything to Ben had been the right one.

  *****

  They didn’t go to Cornwall for their holiday the year that Emma was born but they went the next year. Paul was three and they’d just celebrated Emma’s first birthday. It was a delightful time for them all. Emma sat on the sand and played with her little bucket and spade and Ben took Paul and hunted the rock pools for little crabs or fish. They collected sea shells and built sand castles and went for walks along the sea front and ate ice cream, which Emma got all over her face. And sadly, their holiday was over and they were home again.

  Home again and back to the fear of Henry - more photographs, more sightings in the distance, even outside her house. And this time she was sure it was him…just standing there and watching. One afternoon David dropped Jennifer and the children off at her house while Henry was hovering around in the courtyard. Of course, he was unaware of the situation but he noticed Charis' face and the look of fear that came upon her as she answered the door.

  “Is something wrong?” he asked her.