by Mj Fields
I grab the next. It’s the booklet I made of Leddie on the beach. I turn the page and see a drawing of when he met Lou. The drawings were better, so I was older. I flip it over to the back, hoping for a date, but there is none.
I hear Trucker and consider throwing the box onto the table so he doesn’t see me going through it, so he doesn’t think I care, but when I see a ribbon inside, the kite string with Otto on it, I reach in, take it out, and smile.
I look up to see Trucker looking down at me. His face softens, and his lips turn up slightly on both sides.
“Guess I was always meant to come here,” I say as I look at it.
He sits down on the coffee table again. “Is there a story behind that you’d like to share?” he asks, holding the other end of it.
I shrug. “Just another day on the beach.”
He huffs, and I look up. His smile is a little more pronounced.
I turn toward him. “It was after we moved from Syracuse. I remember because this little guy reminded me of—”
“Lou?”
I nod. “My mom used to work for him, you know? He was always so nice.”
“Reminded you of a big, fat orange, huh?”
I smile and shake my head, then look up. “I’d prefer that stay between us, too.”
“You have my word.”
I look down at it.
He reaches out to touch me but pulls his hand back. “Tell me about that day.”
“Just some kid.” I smile. “He probably felt sorry for me, so he gave me a piece of his kite.”
He stands up and sits beside me. “You know, I went to the beach one time when I was ten, maybe eleven, when my mom and dad got back together, after he bought a double-wide, no doubt luring her back. Worked, since she stuck around longer that time.”
I reach over and squeeze his hand.
“Is that a sympathy touch, Ray?”
I jerk my hand away, and he laughs.
“Jerk.”
“But you get it, huh? I’m sitting here, thinking all sorts of horrible shit to take my mind of touching you. Because I just lived your hell for three hours and a five-hour car ride reading …” He laughs. “Well, trying to read that journal. And all I want to do is lick away every worry you’ve ever fucking had.” He leans forward and ghost-kisses me. “But you won’t even give me your damn lips.”
When I’m about to cave, he sits back and suppresses a smirk. “Now you’ll need to try and keep your hands to yourself for the next part of my beach story, okay?”
I hold my hands up. “I’ll try.”
He winks. “Imagine, ten years old, new house, parents together, on vacation, and you’re watching them and see that, even though everything seems perfect on the outside, something’s missing. At ten, you already know her eyes don’t have the same light in them.”
He crosses his arms and leans back into the sofa. “So, you grab this kite, and you’re going to fly it and not wait for him, because he’s wooing the fuck out of someone who just doesn’t have it in her to give it back, and you’re sick of seeing dead eyes and your dad failing at something he’s worked so fucking hard to get. Failure to launch, you know? He had a dream but can’t make it fly.”
I nod as I watch the storm of emotions in his eyes
“So, here I am, ten years old, putting this shit together.” He laughs. “Trying to read the directions because all the letters are moving around and popping out and shit, but I do it. I fucking succeed.
“I look to my parents to see approval of some sort, but I don’t get it. So, fuck it, nothing new. I launch that bitch, and I’m proud as fuck, and I’m still looking around to see who’s watching when something catches my eye. I see this cute, little shit chasing something in the air. She looks terrified. Her eyes tell a story. The story that, if I don’t catch this fucking blue ribbon …” He stops and looks at me, his lips curling, looking almost angry, but it’s emotions, all emotions. “You hearing me?”
I nod.
“This fucking gust of air catches my kite, and I look away from the girl, and she runs right into me, Ray. Knocks me on my ass. Terror screams in her eyes, but she doesn’t murmur a word.
“I jump up and realize my kite’s flying away, but there’s that ribbon, and fuck it. I jump and, for some fucking reason, I catch them both. You know what the reason is?”
I blink away the tears, swallow, and point to myself.
“I fall on my ass, Ray, on my ass, and hand that girl my kite instead of the ribbon. I loved that fucking kite, but I’m looking up into these eyes and the sun is all around her face, and I handed her the kite because, for some fucking reason, I knew she wanted it more than she wanted that damn, terrifying ribbon she chased. When she didn’t say shit, I thought maybe I was wrong and pretended I was confused. I wasn’t confused, Ray.”
My lips begin to quiver, and I shake my head, because I can’t form the words, no, you weren’t confused.
“I asked her if she was sure. She was eyeballing it, eyeballing me, and looking at that fucking ribbon. She kept looking behind her, and she looked scared, but not when she looked back at me.
“I yanked a piece of that tail off and gave it to her.” He takes the kite tail and holds it up. “Took a minute for her to take it, but—”
“She was too busy staring up at you, lost in a smile,” I manage to form words. “A genuine smile, even though you were trying to give her something you seemed to love.”
“She walked away and looked back, then at the kite tail. I told her his name was Otto. You know what she told me?”
I nod and sniff back tears. “Looks like a Lou to me.”
“Exactly.”
We stare at each other silently for a minute.
“You turned around, Ray, and tried to give it back. I said no. You looked at that ribbon and seemed to want to give it to me but held back. Why?”
“I didn’t want to ruin your smile. Burden you with it.”
“You said thank you, and I said, anytime and called you Lou.”
I lean forward and tell him, “I’m gonna kiss you.”
He leans away. “No, you’re not. You’re gonna give me every blue ribbon left lingering inside you and you’re gonna take the whole damn kite this time, Ray.”
He stands up, inhales a deep breath, and then groans. “I want that fucking kiss so bad right now.”
“It’s yours.” I stand up. “It’s yours.”
“More than that, I want your trust, and I want you to just say it. Say yes, she’s mine. I already know she is, but Ray, I’ll take your blue ribbons and hers. I swear to fuck I will.” He grabs the back of my head and pulls me into his chest. Then he kisses the top of my head. “You need to think about it. I’ll give you the whole fucking world, because I have it all, Ray. But it isn’t shit without you.”
When he turns, he picks up the box and walks away, and I watch him.
When he opens the door, I take a step.
Then he looks back and says, “You came here for me, Ray. For me. All this, them, I would have found them for you. I swear to fuck I would have.”
He shuts the door, and I whisper, “You did.”
Chapter Thirty-Eight
Found
Keeka
My feet are so high over the clouds that, when I look back, I can’t even see them. I’m almost touching the sun, and it’s so bright and beautiful.
In one hand, I have a kite, a big, orange kite, and cradled in my arm is my greatest treasure.
I laugh as I look down at her and swear she’s smiling. She has to be. But then she burps.
“Leddie Lou, someday … someday soon I will see it.”
She gets a little fussy, so I set down the pencil and stand up. “Come here.”
I hold her tightly against my belly and bounce. “Let it go, sweet girl, and you’ll be so much happier.”
We walk around and bounce a bit more. I sway, and I even sing one of Lucas’s angel songs. When she seems content, I sit down, and her little
face puckers up.
“Maybe you’re just bored?”
I walk back and forth and look outside. It’s clear and unusually warm for February. Neither one of us seems to be able to sit still, so …
“How about a walk?”
She’s all bundled up, and so am I. I’m talking to her and telling her about her father. She’s kicking and cooing like she has some of her own things to say.
When I look up, I laugh. “And this is where it all began.” I look in the window and see Gary sitting at the bar. “You wanna meet some new faces?”
She coos.
“I’ll take that as a yes.” I look up at the sun, and then back at her. “We have to make it quick; it’ll be dark soon.”
I push the door open and hold it with my butt as I pull the stroller inside.
“Well, look who we have here.” Gary beams, and I smile back at him.
“I thought it was time you all met my daughter.”
He walks over and points at her. “May I?”
I unbuckle her and carefully pick her up. “Just hold her head. She’s strong, but not that strong yet.”
“She’s beautiful, Keeka.”
When he leans down, she makes a face and her lip starts to quiver. I bet she can smell the alcohol.
Not wanting to hurt his feelings, I tell him, “She’s been a little cranky today, so maybe just hold her and—”
“Gotcha,” he says, walking around with her.
“Empty bar today?”
“Yeah, should pick up soon,” he says, still beaming down at her.
“Lou in the back?”
He looks up. “He is. You should go tell him you’re here.”
“You sure you’ll be okay with her for just a second?”
He laughs. “Kids like me.”
I walk back to Lou’s office, and then tiptoe in, wanting to either surprise him or scare him. I don’t see him in the office, so I push the door back to see if he’s in the closet, and it’s like a gust of wind blows it, making it slam shut.
I hear Leddie crying as I try to open it. It’s locked.
I begin to beat on it and yell for Gary, but I get no answer.
I yank on it again, but it won’t budge.
“Gary! I’m locked in Lou’s office! Gary!”
As panic strikes, I kick and beat on the door. No one else is here, just him and I.
Trucker, he always said something was off about him.
I kick the door. “Gary, please, please open the door!”
I reach for my bag and realize I left it under the stroller, in the basket.
I run to Lou’s desk and grab his phone. There is no dial tone.
I run and slam into the door over and over again. “Please, God, please!”
When I run into it again, I hear someone ask, “Who’s in there?”
“Lou?” I bang on the door. “LOU!”
The door is opened, and I fly past him. “Call the police! Leddie, he’s got Leddie!!”
“Who’s got … who?”
“Lou, please, please call the police. Gary, he-he was holding her. He locked me in the office.”
He looks shocked.
“LOU! He has my baby!”
I run behind the bar and quickly hang the phone up that Gary had purposely taken off the hook.
“He took it off the hook, Lou. I … Call 911!”
I run out the door, screaming for her, for him as I look for tracks. When I see them, I sprint, following them. Around the corner, I see the stroller and can breathe again. He left her. He got scared and left her. When I open the shade, though, it’s empty.
“NO!”
I hear sirens coming, getting closer, and then a squad car pulls up beside me. “Gary has my baby! Find my baby!”
“Ma’am, we’re gonna need you to calm down.”
“Calm down? Calm …” I turn and bend down to get the bag. I reach in, grab my phone, and turn it around, holding it up.
When I see two guns pointing at my head, I step back and fall into the stroller. “Lower the—”
“What in the hell is going on here?” Lou’s voice booms from behind them.
One of the officers turns and holds the gun on him. “Sir, we’re going to have to ask you to put your hands where I can see them.”
The other officer reaches up and calls for backup.
“You damn fools, I’m the one who called you!” Lou’s screams.
I stand up, and the officer doesn’t lower his gun. I point to the ground where my phone lays. “It’s my fucking phone! I was going to show you what to fucking look for! What the fuck—”
“Keeka!”
I look left and see Maddox running toward me.
“Sir, step back!”
Maddox holds his hands up. “My sister’s child has been taken, you fucking idiots! You have no idea the lawsuit this city is in for if you do not lower your fucking weapons and GET THE BLOODY GUN OUT OF HER FACE!”
The officer hits his walkie again. “We’re requesting further back up to Marshall Street.”
“Why not tell them you’re surrounded by a Brit, a Hispanic, the whitest white man on the planet, and a baby carriage, you fucking buffoons?”
Keeping my hands up, I squat down,
“Ma’am, stay where you are.”
“The man in the street is Maddox Hines. The man behind you is Lou …”
“McFalon!” Lou yells.
“McFalon, he owns the bar where I was locked in his office, and a man named Gary Mc—”
“Sloan!” Lou yells.
“My name is Brooklyn Ross Garcia Lopez, and my child is missing. She’s been abducted, and you are making a grave mistake. I would hope you don’t make another.” I grab my phone and run.
“Stop, ma’am, or—”
“The child’s father is Trucker Cohen!” I hear Maddox yell. “Lower your weapons, or hell will rain down upon you in droves.”
Pain surges up my leg, and I know I messed it up when I fell, but adrenaline transcends pain as I keep yelling and screaming Leddie’s name.
By half a block, my ankle gives out and I fall.
I hear a vehicle behind me and look up. Lucas jumps out of the SUV and scoops me up. “Come on, kiddo. Leddie needs an unbroken mom. Let’s get you to the ER.”
“No! No, I need to find her.”
“Love you, Keeks, but not gonna lie; if she wasn’t found already, I wouldn’t be driving around looking for a crazy Hispanic with a warrant on her head.”
“She’s—”
“Lou called Trucker. He called Maddox. Maddox found Gary’s address. She’s safe. She’s fine. She’s at the hospital.”
“What?”
“Precautionary.” He sets me in the truck and runs around the front.
“Ouch,” I hear Harper say and look up. “Compound fracture.”
“What?” I ask, totally confused.
“Means big fucking lawsuit.” Lucas laughs as he hits the accelerator. “Means we are gonna own ‘Cuse.”
Chapter Thirty-Nine
Meeting her
Trucker
When I kick his door down, the fucker isn’t even in the room, yet Lulu is lying on the couch. The fucking couch! She could have rolled off or some shit.
When a door slams, I look down the hall. Fucker’s hiding.
I can’t look at her. I know if I do, I’ll be fucking done.
“You stay right here. Daddy will be right back. He has an ass to kick.”
She kicks her feet. I look. I pick her up. Shit, there is no putting her down.
“Gonna say bad words. Probably going to kill a man. Then Lulu, you and I are gonna bond.”
Her hand goes in my mouth.
Fucked.
“Who’s here?” the little bitch yells.
“The big bad wolf, and I’m outta breath.”
I pull her fingers out of my mouth, because I sound like a fucking idiot.
She coos, kicks, and grabs my ear.
Double f
ucked.
“So I’m not gonna huff and puff, Gary. I’m just gonna kick the”—I cover her little ears—“fucking door in.”
“I have a gun!”
“Game changer, Lulu.” I walk over and set her in a corner. “If I get shot, you should run.”
Grabby little hands reach for me.
“You can’t run, huh?”
Why am I fucking around with this?
“ ’Cause you’re adorable. Mocha-Carmel-Daddy-Chino; that’s what you are.”
She looks like she’s got something to say, something big, but then I hear a shot.
“Guess he does have a gun.”
Her lip quivers.
“Hold that thought.”
I walk down the hall quickly, and just say fuck it.
I kick in the door and see a gun drop and slide across the floor.
He throws his hands up in the air. “I was gonna bring her back.”
I slam him against the wall three times, and he pisses his fucking pants.
“Please don’t kill me!”
“Shut the fuck up!” I slam him against the wall again, and he cries like a little bitch.
“It’s Carmen’s fault! It’s her fault! She took my kid away, but she came back to me!”
I slam him again, just for saying the bitch’s name, and again for talking about Ray, and again because he took my fucking kid. Then I let him fall to the floor before grabbing the leg with the least amount of piss stains on his pants and drag him down the hall.
I scoop up Lulu, and she grabs my face.
“Do you know how much I love you?”
Her eyes widen like she is waiting for me to finish, so I do.
“More than football.”
I kiss her little face, and she grabs a lip.
I look back at Gary. Fucker’s passed the fuck out.
“Okay, Lulu, we are gonna get him to the cops.”
I turn toward the door and see a bunch of kids with phone cameras pointed at me.
“It’s Trucker Cohen,” one of the little shits gasps.
“Bullshit, like you’d know him if you saw him,” I hear another say. “Let me through.”