Carey leapt to his feet.
‘Robert!’ boomed Lord Hunsdon. ‘What the Devil are you doing here? God damn your eyes!’
Carey swept a bow to his father so poetical in its elaboration of courtesy that it came out the other side into insolence. Hunsdon glowered, swept forward to bring his white Chamberlain’s staff slamming down on a nearby table. ‘By Christ, Robert,’ he roared. ‘I’ve told Heneage here, if you’ve got yourself into trouble with Her Majesty again, I’ll disinherit you.’
Dodd, who had lost his own father to an Elliot polearm at the age of twelve, watched in fascination. Something shifted subtly inside Carey. He bowed again, including the other rich courtier this time.
‘My good lord and respected Father, and Mr Vice Chamberlain, may I present my most able second-in-command at Carlisle, Mr Henry Dodd, Land Sergeant of Gilsland.’
Not knowing what else to do with himself, Dodd managed a clutch at his cap and an ungainly bow. The small parlour was suddenly crowded with people. A liveryman bustling about behind him, lighting unnecessary candles, made him twitch. Another man brought up a carved armchair for his lord, yet another poured more wine. Plates of wafers and nuts appeared seemingly invisibly.
Hunsdon threw his bulk into the armchair which creaked under him. Mr Vice Chamberlain Heneage sat more circumspectly a little behind and to the right on a yellow padded stool. Hunsdon rapped his white staff on the floor.
‘Right,’ he growled. ‘Scotland.’
‘Most reverend sir,’ said Carey. ‘I would prefer to have cleaned off the dust of our rather hurried journey before I rendered my report to…’
‘Ay, no doubt. But we want to hear it now, since you’re here, you bloody idiot.’
The tips of Carey’s ears had gone red. He put his hat back on his head and sat himself back down on the bench very pointedly, without being asked. Dodd decided to stay standing.
‘Where should I start, my lord?’ Nobody smiled that sweetly without intending it as an insult. Hunsdon’s bushy eyebrows almost met over his nose.
‘How is His Majesty of Scotland?’ put in Heneage, mellifluously.
‘Very well indeed and received me most kindly on account of the love he bears Her Majesty the Queen.’
Hunsdon grunted. ‘And the business over the guns? Lowther sent some nonsensical tale that you had substituted them for scrap iron. Is that true?’
Carey waved gloved fingers airily. ‘A complete mare’s nest, sir. There was indeed an arrangement between His Majesty of Scotland and the Wardenry of Carlisle, as it turned out, only no one saw fit to inform me.’
‘I’d heard that some of the guns we sent were faulty,’ said Heneage with oily concern. ‘I do hope no one was hurt?’
‘One man lost his hand and died of it, but no other harm done,’ Carey told him callously. ‘Really, the guns were a side-issue. We rode to congratulate my Lord Maxwell on being made Warden and of course to learn what support the King might want when he harried Liddesdale…’
Dodd’s eyes were nearly popping out with shock. The tale Carey told his father…Improved was too mild. A tissue of lies spun convincingly from Carey’s smiling mouth. There had been no problems whatever at the Scottish Court. Lord Maxwell had been kindness itself and of course Sir John Carmichael sent his regards. The King had been at his most affable, only a little sad at the smallness of his bribe…er, pension. Spanish spies? What Spanish spies? Oh, those Spanish spies. Well, Carey had not suspected the Italian wine merchant and his charming wife, but he had heard that Lord Spynie was deep in dangerous business with the Papists, for what that was worth. These rumours will fly around, won’t they, Mr Vice Chamberlain, shocking really, what people will say in the hope of payment. Sir Henry Widdrington? Well, yes, admitted Carey, he had met the man. A little too warm to the Scots perhaps, and another one with Papist leanings, he was sure. My Lord Hunsdon might want to warn his Deputy Warden, brother John, up in Berwick, about the Widdringtons, seeing how powerful they were…
After a while Dodd stopped trying to follow exactly where Carey was sticking to the truth and where he was lying to his father, and sat back to admire the barefaced way he did it. Heneage and Hunsdon both asked pointed questions that sounded as if Lowther had been busy with his pen. Carey actually laughed when Heneage wanted to know if King James had given him a pension. No, said Carey, he had been lucky with some bets, that was all. And of course he had sold Thunder to the King.
‘Hmf,’ said Hunsdon. ‘Pity. Best piece of horseflesh you ever owned.’
‘I know sir,’ said Carey with genuine regret. ‘But what could I do? The King wanted him. I was quite pleased he paid for the nag, really.’
‘Hah!’ said his father, standing and striding out into the entrance hall while he shouted for the steward. Carey elaborately gave way to Heneage as they followed and then muttered quietly over his shoulder, ‘Back me up, Dodd.’
Before Dodd could answer, Carey had hurried after his father. Dodd was pressed to keep up, reflecting that the Carey family were very tiring people, the way they were always rushing about. Hunsdon had decided to take a turn in the garden while they waited for supper to be readied, which displeased Dodd who would have been perfectly happy with a hunk of bread and some cheese, so long as he could put something in his growling belly immediately. But no, it seemed courtiers did things differently.
Dodd had never seen the point of gardens really, except for herbs and salads and the like. Janet had a garden at their tower in Gilsland and Lord knows, she had given him grief when his favourite horse got out and ate all the pea plants. This was nothing like anything he had seen. In the pale blue dusk, the garden stretched itself down to the wall, everything in it shouting of wealth, from the rose bushes and the maze to the grass which was scythed short and green as velvet, to the trees which were politely trimmed. Dodd wandered across the grass and peeked out of the gate which gave onto the water. He saw a little landing with yellow boats drawn up and a man standing watching them. The man touched his cap to Dodd and Dodd nodded back in lordly fashion, thoroughly enjoying himself. There was an hysterical duck carved in the stone lintel of the watergate and another one on the boatman’s sleeve. Dodd wondered why Lord Hunsdon had chosen such a daft badge for himself. He was impressed with the Thames, though. It was wide and fast flowing and looked an unchancy water to cross even at low tide. Good thing there was the Bridge. Even Dodd had heard tell of the glories of London Bridge, though mostly from Barnabus who couldn’t really be trusted.
Someone coughed softly at his elbow and Dodd looked sideways to find he was being quietly accosted by the Vice Chamberlain.
‘Mr Dodd.’
‘Ay, sir,’ said Dodd, wondering had the man not heard he was Land Sergeant of Gilsland or did he not know how to address him?
‘Perhaps you can help me.’
‘If Ah can, sir.’
‘What was your impression of the King’s court in Scotland?’
Dodd thought for a moment. Heneage’s face was full of friendliness and affability, which was all wrong. Dodd knew he was very small fry compared to the Vice Chamberlain of the Queen’s court, and no great lord was that affable to his inferiors without he wanted something.
‘Ah dinna ken, sir,’ he said. ‘I’ve no’ seen any ither court, sir, for comparison.’
‘Did the King seem well-affected?’
What the Devil did the man mean by that? Well-affected?
‘Ah dinna ken, sir.’
‘Well, did His Majesty grant Sir Robert an audience?’
‘Oh ay, sir, he did that.’
‘And what happened?’
‘Ah dinna ken, sir, I wasnae there.’
‘Sir Robert was alone, unattended?’
‘I didnae say that, sir, only I wasnae there.’
‘Well, was my Lord Spynie present at the audience?’
‘Ah dinna ken, sir.’
Heneage coughed. ‘Come, Mr Dodd, you’re a man of parts, I can see, Sir Robert wouldn’t employ you
if you weren’t.’ Dodd felt pricklish. He wasn’t Carey’s servant, even if he was under the Courtier’s command. He was a free man, with his own tower and kin to back him. What the Devil did Heneage think he was, some kind of hanger-on?
Heneage was smiling. Was Dodd supposed to be pleased he thought well of Dodd? Bugger that, thought Dodd.
‘Do you think Sir Robert will be returning to the Scottish court soon?’ From the casual way in which it was asked, that sounded an important question.
Dodd took refuge in stolidity. ‘Ah dinna ken, sir. And it isnae my place to say, forbye, sir.’
Heneage coughed again, but would he leave off? No, he would not. Where the hell was Carey when he was needed?
‘Well, perhaps you can tell me how Signor and Signora Bonnetti fare?’
‘Eh, sir?’
Heneage’s round little smile was becoming somewhat fixed. ‘The Italian wine merchant and his wife. Perhaps you recall them?’
Dodd thought about it for a while. ‘Ay, I mind ’em.’
Another silence. Heneage took a deep breath, held it and coughed again. ‘Did…ah…did Signora Bonnetti seem well-affected to Sir Robert?’
Dodd looked even more blank. ‘Sir?’
‘Surely you met the lady?’
Heneage had come closer, had taken Dodd’s elbow in a proprietorial fashion. ‘Come, Dodd, we can deal together,’ he said softly. ‘Do you know who I am?’
‘Ay, sir,’ said Dodd, wishing to flick Heneage’s importunate fingers off his arm but controlling himself. ‘Ye’re the Queen’s Vice Chamberlain.’
‘One of my offices is to thoroughly investigate all potential… ah…foreign problems. You can be sure I ask my questions with good reason.’
‘Ay, sir.’ Was there some kind of threat in Heneage’s silky confiding manner? Did he expect Dodd to be frightened or flattered? The plump fingers were nipping quite hard now, they were stronger than they looked. Dodd’s eyes narrowed and he could feel anger starting to wash up the back of his neck. Was the fat courtier trying to bully him? Him?
‘I have other sources regarding Signora Bonnetti,’ breathed Heneage. ‘You needn’t fear that you will tell me anything I don’t already know about your master. I am only looking for confirmation.’
Carey was standing over by a tree next to his father. Their eyes met briefly and Dodd could have sworn the Courtier winked knowingly at him. Dodd had never been so angry in his life without he punched somebody, but Carey steadied him. He took a deep shaky breath.
‘I’m sorry, sir, but I cannae help ye, for I never met the lady.’
‘Surely you saw her, for she danced with Sir Robert.’ Jesus, would Heneage never let up?
‘Ay, she did, sir, but I niver spoke to her.’
‘Sir Robert was friendly with her? Hm?’
‘She’s a fair lady,’ said Dodd, not bothering to keep his voice as low as Heneage’s. ‘I never saw Sir Robert but he was friendly to a good-looking woman.’
Heneage chuckled softly. ‘Did they deal together?’
Much more of this, thought Dodd, and I surely will punch the bugger. Once again Carey caught his eye, still speaking to his father. Looking very amused, the Courtier shook his head infinitesimally.
Dodd felt as if he was drowning. What did Carey want him to do? Lie? But he didn’t know what to say.
‘Ah’m sorry, sir,’ he said to Heneage at last when he was sure his voice wouldn’t shake. ‘But I cannae help ye as ye think I can. I’m no’ Sir Robert’s servant, I’m nobbut a Sergeant o’ the Carlisle garrison.’
At last Heneage let go of him, leaving tingling prints on Dodd’s elbow. He didn’t seem dissuaded, only calculating. ‘Perhaps we can talk at some other time. Perhaps I should invite you to my residence at Chelsea.’
Even Dodd could hear that there was a threat in the man’s voice, though the words seemed harmless enough.
‘That’s kind of ye, sir,’ he said, struggling to be urbane.
Heneage frowned as if Dodd had insulted him. ‘Don’t under-estimate me, Dodd.’
What the hell had he said that was wrong? ‘I dinna follow ye, sir.’
‘No? Perhaps you should ask your Captain to elucidate.’
‘Ay, sir,’ said Dodd, taking refuge in stolidity again.
Heneage sighed and shook his head. ‘Was there nothing at all that struck you about the Scottish court?’
Dodd took a deep breath. ‘They was an awfy lot of buggers there, sir. Ah didnae take to it mesen.’
Heneage’s brow wrinkled as he tried to make out what Dodd was saying.
‘I’m afraid Sergeant Dodd thoroughly disapproved of the Scots court and the whole proceedings generally, didn’t you, Sergeant?’ translated Sir Robert who had finally drifted over to them. His father was still under the apple tree, poking with his staff at the green apples weighing the branches.
‘Ay, sir. I’m no’ a courtier, sir.’
Both men heard the compressed distaste in his voice. Heneage smiled; Carey’s eyebrows went up quizzically.
‘Well, each to his own,’ he said comfortably. ‘Eh, Mr Vice Chamberlain? Good thing not everyone is desperate for the court, or the place would be even more infernally crowded than it is now. How are the accommodations at Oxford? Colleges being co-operative?’
Heneage sniffed. ‘Helpful enough, though not perhaps as willing as one would like, Sir Robert.’
‘You’ll be doubling up the Gentlemen, no doubt. I remember one Progress when I had to share a bed with Sir Walter Raleigh. Though he was still a plain mister then—it was a few years ago now. And the only reason we didn’t have a third man in bed with us was because we bribed him to sleep on the floor.’
Dodd found to his astonishment that his hands were shaking. Never had he felt such pure rage and been forced to do nothing about it. His arm felt unclean where Heneage had dared to pinch it. And what the hell was he hinting about his residence in Chelsea? Dodd would personally eat his helmet if the Queen’s Vice Chamberlain was planning to invite him to a dinner party, no matter how eager he was to pick Dodd’s brains on the subject of Carey’s doings in Scotland.
They were moving back towards the house, Carey prattling about Raleigh’s sleeping habits. Raleigh, it seemed, had been unreasonably insulting to Carey, claiming he snored like a wild sow in farrow, which was manifestly unfair. Was it true that Raleigh was in the Tower now, over one of the Queen’s maids of honour? Heneage allowed that it was and Carey displayed an almost infantile pleasure at the juicy nugget of gossip—Bess Throgmorton, well, he was damned, would never have thought she’d have it in her, though he knew Raleigh did, and now it seemed she had more in her than she rightfully should…Carey put his head back and laughed. Serve Raleigh right, the man’s arrogance was insufferable.
Mistress Bassano came out, gliding over the grass, very lithe and graceful for a woman in her condition, with two of her women, one on either side of her and her bald manservant trotting at her heels like a bloodhound. A small hairy dog followed close behind him completing the symmetry.
Hunsdon joined them from the apple tree, and Mistress Bassano smiled like a cat as he caught her hand and put a large arm proprietorially around her shoulders. She kissed Hunsdon as lingeringly on the lips as she had earlier kissed Carey. Dodd could almost feel his eyes bulging from their sockets. Was Carey really ploughing his father’s field? Was that why he had come to be Deputy Warden in Carlisle? By God, it made sense of why a popinjay Courtier would want to move north in a hurry.
Carey was showing not a single sign of guilt. He was laughing and chatting to Heneage in the most natural and carefree way, taking the trouble to flatter the Vice Chamberlain as he had buttered up Lord Maxwell in Scotland.
A liveryman came out and announced that supper was served, and as he followed Hunsdon and his mistress, Carey, Heneage and flocks of attendants, Dodd’s head was reeling.
***
Supper involved eight different kinds of meat in sixteen different sauces, salads decor
ated with orange nasturtium flowers, a piece of a pie which must originally have been the size and weight of a millstone, and yet more of the wine. Dodd had always thought he didn’t like wine but now realised that what he didn’t like was cheap wine. If this was the way the better stuff tasted, he felt he could well get used to it.
The pity of it was having to sit down with Carey, his dad, his dad’s mistress, and Heneage in another room hung with tapestries. Servants filed in with the food under silver covers on silver dishes as ceremoniously as if this were some fine feast, which only meant further delay before Dodd could fill his belly. Lord Hunsdon said grace. After all that, Dodd had almost lost his appetite again. Heneage tucked in enthusiastically, though.
Dodd concentrated on eating as neatly as he could, despite the way the Vice Chamberlain had soured his stomach. He watched out of the corner of his eye to see how Carey handled his eating knife and silver spoon and tried hard to copy him. The funny foreign sauces on the meats didn’t help and he dropped a big piece of pheasant into the rushes. Mistress Bassano’s lapdog was onto the tidbit at once, slurping and growling at it. Trying to pretend he had meant to drop the food, Dodd patted the hairy head and had his fingers nipped at for his pains, which made Mistress Bassano smile at him again.
‘Little Willie is a very naughty dog,’ she told him with a teasing note in her voice. ‘You really must not indulge him, Sergeant, or he’ll get fat.’
Dodd smiled at her apologetically while he mentally took all her clothes off and bulled her up against a wall. As if reading his mind and enjoying it, she bent over and scooped the dog into her arms, while Dodd tried desperately to stop himself wondering if her arse was as smooth and round as her tits. He concentrated on the meat again. Much more of this, he thought, and he wouldn’t be able to rise from the table.
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