by Gow, Kailin
“What are you doing?” I cried. “Why are you doing this?” My own shame seemed to choke me with the force of my regret. “Why?”
And then the rumors, buzzing through towns, grew louder and more frequent, as hatred seemed to concentrate on one name in particular. Breena.
We trusted her, the rumors began. We thought we could trust her. We thought we could rely on her. But she's been anything but a good leader. All she cares about her love life, her romances, the two men she dangles from her dainty little fingertips. Our national stability is dependent upon whether or not she and Prince Kian are on the outs this week. Is that really what we want in a leader? Someone who is willing to break apart treaties for an infatuation? I heard she's already moved on to Logan – or to another! She's not interested in Kian anymore. And then what is the plan for a United Feyland? Ruined, I tell you, ruined! We'll be back to the War between Summer and Winter in no time without an alliance, mark my words. We cannot trust Breena to run the land. She doesn't understand our ways. And she is ambitious, overly ambitious. She soon won't be satisfied with what she has. She'll want to take our land, our homes, our properties. She'll raise taxes, command us to attend the Summer Court; she'll lay claim to everything we own as if it were hers. We cannot trust her. We cannot rely on her any longer. We must do something – yes, we must do something! Something big – something that shows us that we won't stand for being taken for granted any longer.
Show her that we won't be lied to, and that we won't be betrayed.
We plan revolution. We plan revolt. We plan to fight for freedom.
“No!” I cried, my face growing pale with terror. “No!” Now Gail's plan was all too clear to me. Now that she controlled the hearts and minds of the people of Feyland, for the Shadow Puppets had done their nefarious work, she was unstoppable. She could convince the populace that they hated their beloved Breena, that she was the source of all their problems. And then, once they were well and truly set on deposing her from the throne, she could lead the attempt at revolution – and once the Summer Court had lost their Queen, she could very easily step into Breena's place.
And then Gail would be unstoppable. She would rule Feyland. She would win the love of the people. And there was nothing we could do to make it not so. We were trapped.
She has banished the Winter Prince – that's why he hasn't been seen around lately. Or maybe she murdered him – murdered him in his sleep like the deceitful creature she is! I wouldn't be surprised if she did it in cold blood, after all. Not after what I know of her...
“You must understand, Kian,” Gail was trying to coax me now, to caress me, running her hands up and down my body. “This is the only way to cure you of your love. To show you – and the world – Breena as she really is. In all her true ugliness. Now you can see her with the eyes of truth – that's all I'm doing! That's all the shadow puppets are doing. We are revealing the truth!”
“By spreading lies?”
“By showing the world who this Breena really is.” She smiled. “The old White Witch believed Breena was a good thing for Feyland. But I knew better. I knew that deceitful half-breed would bring only disrepute upon the name of Feyland.”
“The...old...White Witch?”
“Yes,” Gail said blithely. “The one who ruled the Ancient Lands before I came along. Killed her with my bare hands, I did. Easy, too. Far easier than I expected. And now I am the White Witch. And soon, I will be Queen of Summer, too.”
“It'll never work!” I shouted. “It's not possible. You'll never get away with it!”
Gail raised an eyebrow. “Won't I?”
And with that, a crowd of dark shadows rushed me, holding me down, attacking me with invisible teeth and claws.
“Hm....” Gail considered. “We'll have to see about that!”
Chapter 10
Breena
We had to find Kian. From the second that I'd woken up from that terrifying dream in a cold sweat, convinced that Kian was being held by a mysterious woman in a prison somewhere, forgetting about me, forgetting even his own name, his mind clouded over by a spell of deceit, I knew that I had to do something. I had to save him. I began to pore over maps of Feyland, maps of the Winter lands, trying to figure out where Kian might have gone, whom he might have met there.
Kian... The telepathy I always used to use had failed me now. I had gotten so used to being able to contact Kian whenever I wanted, to being able to reach out to him when I was lonely or afraid. But now, I knew, that road was blocked to me. Kian had shut me out, the way I'd always feared he would do, and all my protestations could not reach him. Kian, please, I'm so sorry. I'm so scared. I don't know what to do. I miss you. And I'm afraid for you. I think you might be in danger – just tell me where you are. Tell me how to protect you.
Of course, there was no answer. But his silence galled me, and made me realize how much I missed him. Made me realize how I'd grown accustomed to his low, sweet, melodious voice in my ear, in my head, echoing around in my brain.
Logan took my hand. “We'll find him, Breena,” he whispered. “Don't worry. My priority in life is keeping you safe – and if that means keeping Kian safe as well, then I swear to you, I'll do it with all my heart. I would give my life for you, Breena, you know that. And so I would give my life for him as well, as much as it hurts me to say this. I can't let you be unhappy a moment longer. It kills me, watching you suffer like this. I used to wish Kian out of the way – but now I wish he were here, if only to see you smile again.”
I did smile – albeit a bitter one. I smiled through my tears as I looked into Logan's steadfast, loyal eyes. Even through my misery I couldn't deny that I was happy to have Logan here by my side. I'd missed him – and now that Kian was gone I couldn't deny that our friendship was stronger than ever. Just having Logan near me – to talk to, to confide in, to hold me when the world seemed too wide and too strange for me ever to find a place in it – was good enough for me. I hadn't realized until now just how much his earlier absence had left a hole in my life. Logan brought out a different side of me than Kian did. He didn't bring out the Fairy Queen, the beautiful and unattainable woman that Kian seemed to see in me. Instead he brought out something calmer, quieter, more natural. The human girl I used to be. The girl who laughed and joked; the girl who had fun. The girl who could – for a few seconds of the day – forget the passionate drama of her engagement, forget the wars and battles that characterized her rule as queen – and just be...herself. I felt like me again – for the first time- like the human Breena from Gregory.
But for all this, I knew, I had never been more unhappy. What use was it to get in touch with my human side if my fairy side – the side that loved Kian, that longed for him and missed him – was left bereft? I had to find Kian – and fast – before I risked losing him forever.
But alas, that was not to be. No sooner had Logan and I made preparations to depart for the Winter Court, where we planned to start retracing Kian's steps as best we could from his palace, than we were interrupted by the arrival of a messenger, a young man I recognized from the town. He was out of breath from running; he was covered in blood.
“What's going on?” I said, as he bowed at my feet, pressing his forehead to the floor. “Is it the rations – are there not enough?”
“No, my Queen,” he wheezed. “It's not the rations – got nothing to do with that. There's something else going on. Some strange magic in the air...”
I turned to Logan, my heart sinking as he and I exchanged a glance. Were the Wolves' newfound magic powers – a secret Logan and I were keeping as best we could – at the heart of this?
“Strange magic?” I asked, trying to keep my voice as polite and level as I could. “What do you mean by that, my friend?”
“Couples...” he said. “Hundreds of them. Married couples who have been together for years if not decades; engaged couples, newly in love, who decided to follow yours and Kian's example by announcing their impending nuptials...”
&n
bsp; His words cut deep, but the smile remained frozen on my face as I tried to mask the sting of Kian's name, and of the reminder of his absence.
“Yes?” I prodded him. “Go on – what about them?”
“They hate each other!” The man was aghast. “All of them – they started fighting, quarrelling, screaming at one another. All of them – all at once. Couples breaking up, divorcing, turning their backs on one another. Not a single pair is still together. Love is being transformed into hatred”
“Where is this happening?” I traded a glance with Logan. Could this be the result of Wolf magic? He shook his head, an all but imperceptible no. This didn't sound like Wolves. Magic that could overcome love was high magic indeed – not something Wolves new to their powers could easily effect. And what would Wolves want with overturning love, anyway? No, I thought to myself. Something far more sinister was afoot....”
“Where?” The man laughed darkly. “Everywhere, your highness! And that's not the worst of it – not by a long shot.”
“There's more?” I hardly dared to ask.
“There's...talk, your Highness. “Rumors.” He looked nervous.
“What sort of rumors?” He was silent.
“Out with it!” I felt my cheeks turn hot as I grew angry. “What's been going on behind my back?”
“There's been talk, your Highness,” said the man. “About...you”
“Many people here in Feyland are suddenly growing...less supportive of your regime. People who supported you wholeheartedly throughout the fairy wars, who gave you their trust, who believed you could protect them...suddenly, they're turning from you. They're blaming you for things – for the Wars, for the famine, for the mysterious absence of Prince Kian...”
“Blaming her for the famine!” Logan cut in, rage clear on his face. “Why, Breena's been doing everything possible to keep food in the pantry of every fairy! She was the one who came up with the idea of going over to...”
“That's enough, Logan,” I put a hand on his shoulder.
“I'm not saying I agree, your Highness. I'm just telling you what's being whispered in the village. Now, a bit of dissent is to be expected – no ruler worth his salt is loved by everybody. But this – and this sudden change...I don't think it's normal politics, your Highness. I think it's magic – part of the same strange magic that's been affecting everybody lately. But I wanted to warn you – before it's too late. If the force that want to see you deposed grow stronger...well...your Highness, I don't know what will happen. Things are bad out there. Really bad.”
I pursed my lips. “I see,” I said. “Thank you for informing me.” I pressed a gold piece into his hand, but he turned scarlet.
“I couldn't, your Highness,” he said. “I'm just performing my civic duty, is all. And to be quite honest with you, I've got no idea why the magic hasn't affected me, yet. Maybe it will...soon enough....” He looked down. “Well, if I start hating you, I suppose you'll know why...”
“I'll take care of it,” I said, and he bowed and made his exit.
When he had gone I turned to Logan.
“This can't be Wolf doing,” Logan said, gritting his teeth. “Doesn't sound like it at all. This is something else – whatever it is. Something dangerous. And I don't like the sound of it one bit.” He let loose a snarl from between his teeth.
“But what do we do?” I said. “If people hate me, think I'm responsible for all that's wrong in Feyland – how am I supposed to rule over them?”
“For starters,” Logan said, “we'd better see what's going on for ourselves. Before we make any rash decisions.”
“And how do we do that?” I said. “When everyone who sees me apparently thinks I'm some great tyrant?”
Logan grinned at me. “We go in disguise, of course!” he said.
The wheels in my head began turning as I thought of the maid Silvertree, with her long housemaid's dress and the bonnet that covered her hair and, if she looked down, cast shadows over much of her face.
“I have an idea,” I said. “I think I know what to do.”
That afternoon we set off for the village in the guise of ordinary servants, our hats and bonnets shrouding our face from view. I felt a sense of nervous trepidation as we approached. But none of my fears could have been as bad as the reality. Smoke from a nearby house – blazing and roaring – was the first sign something was wrong. The village was all but deserted. Shattered glass from broken windows lined the streets; already three houses had burned down. I heard the screams of women, sobbing, in the wreckage of looted houses.
And there, in the center of town, was gathered a mob of men and women, all of them screaming and shouting, their cries loud, guttural, and ugly.
“What's going on?” I turned to Logan.
He took a step closer as we tried to make out the figures. “I think they're...burning something...” he said. “Some sort of wooden figure...”
I came closer and gasped at what I saw. “Not just something,” I cried, “me, Logan! Look! That effigy is...”
It was. The face was unmistakeable, as was the traditional gown the puppet wore.
They were burning me.
Chapter 11
Kian
I woke up in a small, dark prison. I could see only the tiniest beam of light from a crack in the walls; everything else was cast in shadows. “Hello?” I sprang to my feet, only to realize that I was swaying, and that there was a great and terrible throbbing pain in my head. “Hello, where am I?” I pressed my hands against the cell walls, looking for the door. “Hello?”
Then I remembered. What I had done. What I had brought about, in my quest to forget Breena. What Gail had done. Gail. For a few days I had thought of her as an ally, as a friend, as a potential answer to my problems. I had been seduced by her sly smile, by her ageless beauty – seduced into trusting her. Seduced into letting myself think that I wanted to be rid of my love for Breena. But instead I had seen the truth. I had let a wicked witch loose upon Feyland – a witch determined to destroy the woman I loved, and take her place upon the throne.
For Breena was the woman I loved. I knew that now, more surely than ever. In a sense, I supposed, bitterly, Gail had cured me of my pain. For now I no longer cared whether Breena had ever had feelings for Logan, or whether she was with him now. I cared only that she was safe. I cursed myself for my stupidity, for my cowardice. How had I let this happen? Had I been so afraid, so unable to face up to my own emotions, that I had put Breena and the rest of Feyland in great danger, all because I couldn't deal with my own pain? Shame flooded through me. I had let this happen. I was responsible for this. This was all my own fault. Wave after wave of self-loathing crested over me like surf in a storm. How could you be so foolish, Kian? Right now, I didn't care about Logan; I didn't care about our fight. All I wanted to do was to press Breena in my arms and never let go; all I wanted was to give myself over to the love I was surer than ever I felt for her. I needed her near me. I needed her now. And instead, I knew, I had put her in mortal danger.
“Did you hear?” A voice was laughing on the other side of the wall.
“Help!” I cried, banging on the wall. “Help!”
But the voice either could not or did not want to listen. Instead, he continued gossiping. “We had a riot this morning,” he said. “We got up an old puppet of the Fairy Queen and burned it – right in the town square! That'll show her to get too big for her britches, to off the Fairy King, to try to control Feyland on her own! And I heard that the Queen herself showed up to see it! And what a nasty shock we gave her, eh? Don't think she'll be bothering us again!”
My stomach plummeted as his companion laughed loudly, echoing his words. What did they mean a nasty shock? From the sound of the man's voice, it didn't sound good. Had they hurt my beloved Breena, or even...? No, I couldn't think that. I had to keep on believing that if she were in serious physical danger I would know. Even though I had shut down our telepathic connection in my rage, even though I had tried to cut m
yself off from her – a choice I now bitterly recriminated myself wit! - I had to keep on believing that if she were dead, I would know, for my own heart too would stop beating, and immortality itself would not be enough to keep me from joining her in that mysterious land we call the life beyond life.
No, I told myself. I had to get out of this prison, somehow, and go back to Breena, and find her before it was too late. I had to offer myself to her body and soul, fall upon her mercy and beg her forgiveness, hoping that my foolish actions hadn't destroyed the connection between us forever. I knew what I had to do. I knew that I didn't deserve forgiveness – not after having left her like that, alone and scared and with nobody to turn too – but I knew as well that I loved her too much not to try. If she had chosen Logan – if his loyalty had won her over after my departure had disappointed her – then I would accept it with dignity, with care, with as much understanding as I could muster.
Just as, I reminded myself, he did the same for you, when it was you that she loved.
But that pain, the pain of giving up my love for Breena and standing aside for Logan, if he was the one she picked – that pain was worth it, if it meant sparing all of us the pain of losing her forever. I loved her enough – too much – enough to break open my heart and soul, to spend the rest of eternity missing her, just to see her smile one last time.
I had to escape. I turned to the chink in the wall, shaking with anguish, fear, and pain. I tried to gather my thoughts, my energy, all my magic. But nothing came from my fingertips. I closed my eyes, squeezing them tight as I tried to harness my energy, my need, my desire for her. Breena, I whispered with lips that tasted of tears. Breena, I miss you. I love you. Come back to me.