Beautiful Nightmare

by Stotz, Chrystie Q.

  “I’m probably going to just fall back asleep, Jayson, but you’re more than welcome if you want.”

  “Thanks.” Without any hesitation, he jumped out of the truck.

  When we got inside, just as I had presumed, Kimber and Justin were still in bed. They liked to sleep in late on the weekends and I didn’t blame them. I wrote a quick note, leaving it on the kitchen table, telling them I was home and in bed, than we went upstairs. When we got to my room, Jayson ran right for the bed. I felt gross. I smelt like chlorine and my hair felt disgusting, so while he crashed, I took a quick shower.

  I was only in there a couple minutes, but when I got out, Jayson was shirtless and passed out on my bed. It was a large enough for the two of us to fit comfortably, so I got dressed and jumped under the covers and was asleep before I even hit the pillows.

  I woke up a few hours later to the sound of loud music downstairs. Then I remembered Jayson had come in with me and realized he was snuggled up against me, his arm thrown over my waist. I rolled over and shook his shoulder.

  “Jayson, wake up. It’s noon.”

  He barely moved. I through his arm off me, got up and flipped off the covers, but I got nothing. What were Justin and Kimber going to think if they walked in on me and Jayson lying in bed with Jayson half naked. At least if they came in and we were both passed out fully clothed and not touching in any way it might look a little better. That’s it, he’s getting up, now! I jumped up on the bed, landing on top of him and grabbed both his shoulders. I shook him screaming his name.

  At first there was nothing, then I felt something. Before his eyes opened, both his hands slid up around my waist.

  “Now this is how I want to wake up every morning,” he said while opening his big brown eyes at me, a little touch of a smile on his face. “With you on top of me.” His eye brows did a little dance.

  I wanted to smack him. “Ha ha, very funny, Jayson.” I spat while I attempted to get off now that my mission-wake-Jayson was complete.

  “Where do you think you’re going?” he asked pulling me back down into place with his strong hands.

  I froze. “Jayson, what are you doing?” This was so not like him.

  “Nothing.” He raised a wicked eyebrow.

  I ignored it and tried to explain why we ended up here. “I was trying to wake you up. Kimber and Justin are up, if they came in here and saw us in bed together. And you half naked? What do you think would be the first thing running through their minds?”

  I heard him mumble something under his breathe, but nothing I could catch and at this point I didn’t care to try.

  “This isn’t funny!”

  “Who’s laughing?”

  “Believe it or not, I enjoy the freedom they give me about you being here. That they allow you to come up to my room and stay here late at night. I’m sure they wouldn’t even care if you slept here. I’m never questioned. And I don’t want that taken away because they think… we’re having sex! Which you know damn well is exactly what they would think.” I stopped, listening to my heart pound in my chest, while Jayson watched me with that huge, teeth baring grin on his face.

  “Is that what you want?” I inquired through clenched teeth.

  “Yes,” was all he said, no explanation. Nothing.

  My mouth fell open and I stared down at him. I waited for him to say something, anything, but he didn’t. I finally spoke when I felt his forgotten fingers tighten around me.

  “What! You want them to take all that away, so you won’t be allowed up here anymore?”

  “Oh. I…no.That’s not what I meant.”

  I looked at him through narrowed eyes. I’m so lost. What the hell did he think I was talking about?

  “Would it really be so bad?” he finally blurted.

  “Honestly, Jayson? You lost me. I haven’t the slightest idea what you’re talking about now.” I was suddenly acutely aware that I was still straddling his waist and his hands were resting on my hips. A feeling of awkwardness washed over me and I felt my cheeks heat. Here I was worried about the position we were in before, now look at us.

  “Jayson, whatever you’re talking about, now is not the time.” I put my hands over his and tried to pry them off. “Can you at least put your shirt back on? This doesn’t look good.”

  He still wasn’t showing any sign of moving as I yanked hard on his wrists. I was either really weak or he was really strong.

  “Trystie, you know as well as I do that they don’t ever come in here, especially without knocking.” The look in his eyes showed just how unconcerned he was with the situation.

  “Jayson, do you honestly want to take that chance?”

  “To keep you right here, like this? Definitely.”

  What the hell was wrong with him? “I am always here, Jayson. I’m always with you. Where would I go?”

  His tough hands tightened around me as he pulled himself up. Our eyes were level as he sat up and was only inches from my face.

  “I mean literally, right here.” He slightly moved his hips and I let out a very girly squeak. I tried again to move. “Please don’t.” Unconsciously, my hands dropped from his wrists as I realized what all this actually meant. His hands slowly slide up from my waist and rested on my shoulder blades. As if in slow motion, I saw him sit up, pulling me closer to him. He couldn’t honestly be doing what I think he’s going to do. Right?

  As the thought popped into my mind, his lips pressed to mine, but mine did not respond immediately. Shock was bouncing around my entire being keeping me immobile. But that didn’t stop the onslaught at my mouth, it only seemed to make him more determined.

  But something was wrong. Or not wrong, as it were. As much as I knew, this shouldn’t feel this way. I should feel uncomfortable, this being my best friend and all, or at least it should feel like I was with my brother. But it didn’t. Not at all. And I found my mouth betraying me as it began to respond to Jayson.

  I didn’t understand where this came from or when, but my mind seemed to be on vacation. Anything I tried to focus on turned to vapor and was wisped away.

  But out of all my attempts to think, only one thing managed to pierce through my vacant thoughts. A pair of sparkling amethyst eyes.

  I gasped.

  “Jayson.” I managed through still occupied lips. “Jayson, we can’t.”

  His grip only tightened and his kiss became more urgent. I tried again, but there was no breaking him. So, if he wouldn’t move, neither would I. I waited, unmoving, for him to finish. Sometime he must have noticed it became one sided and I felt his grip loosen. He lowered himself back down to my pillows and closed his eyes.

  “That was a bad idea.” I said softly.

  His eyes flew open, all satisfaction wiped from his appearance. “Why!”

  I couldn’t lie to him, but I couldn’t say the complete truth, not yet. “You’re my best friend. Why would you want to ruin that?”

  “I don’t want to ruin it, I want to make it better. Stronger.” He finally dropped his hands and put them over his face. I took the opening to scramble down from him. I didn’t want to hurt him or our friendship. I cared too much about him to lose him over this. I saw his shirt lying in a heap on the floor next to the bed. I bent over, picking it up and placed it on his bare chest as I had a seat next to him.

  He threw his hands from his face, slamming them down on the bed. Completely catching me off guard again. Seems he was getting good at that.

  “Tell me you feel nothing for me!” he demanded.

  “What?”

  “Do you honestly feel nothing for me, at all?” he asked more calmly, his gaze locking on mine and searching.

  The intensity of his eyes made me want to reach out to him. But I didn’t. I couldn’t. It would be cruel.

  “You are the best friend I have ever had, how could I feel nothing for you?”

  He sat up quickly, turning his body toward mine. “So you do have feelings for me.”

  “Of course I do, but…”<
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  “But when I kiss you?”

  My heart began to pound again, but I ignored it. “It doesn’t change how I feel about you.”

  “But how does it make you feel?”

  I paused for a moment, thinking. I didn’t know what to say to that. I wasn’t even sure myself. But it was wrong, even if it didn’t feel so. “I don’t know.” I replied looking down.

  “If… if we try it again…?”

  “Jayson, it’s just not a good idea.” I clung to the only thing I knew made sense. “I want us to remain friends. I don’t know what I would do if we couldn’t be. Don’t you understand that? You mean more to me than that.”

  “All I am asking is to give it a chance, Trystie. Are saying you aren’t attracted to me in any other way than being my friend?” He spat the word friend like it was an incurable disease.

  I couldn’t help but look back on the times I have had with him since I came here. When I met him at the airport, seeing his face the way he always looked at me. That smile. The way I saw him at the party, when he jumped on top of me, holding me defenseless under his weight and strength and finally, the scene just moments ago. I was, without a doubt, very attracted to him. “I am extremely attracted to you.”

  “Am I not good enough for you than? I don’t understand.”

  “No, it isn’t that at all. Isn’t being my friend enough, at least, for now?”

  He took in a deep breathe, letting it out slowly. “I have been waiting for this moment for, I don’t even know how long. Since I met you.”

  “Well, I am sure you can create the moment again, in the future.” Damn it all, that so came out wrong!

  “Is right… now far enough in the future for you? How about you come sit back over here,” he said as he patted his hips with his hands. “And than tell me how you feel?”

  “Behave yourself , Jayson. If it is meant to happen, it will.”

  “Okay, Trystie. But just know, this isn’t just going to end here. I won’t let it.”

  Crap, crap, CRAP! “Whatever you say, Jayson.” I rolled my eyes and tried my best to act casual when on the inside I saw a big red warning flag waving my way. “I think I’m going to go take another shower.” I said as I got off the bed once again.

  “Want some company?” he asked accompanied by that confident smile that looked just at home on his face.

  I turned around and gave him a dirty look.

  “Just figured I’d ask. I’ll be here if you decide to change your mind.” He crossed his legs at the ankles and he put his arms behind his head and leaned back against the pillows.

  I closed the bathroom door behind me, choosing to say nothing. And for the first time since I met Jayson, I locked the door.

  Chapter Eight

  Monday morning started off with a different energy than I was used to, and I had a bad feeling it was going to stay that way. Jayson wasn’t lying when he said he wouldn’t stop. And that was only the beginning. I guess I thought, even after just this short weekend, maybe he might back off a little. In fact, it seemed to be quite the opposite. I just hoped I had a chance to explain the situation to Kamdyn before he saw it for himself.

  I jumped up into Jayson’s truck for our, way too early, trip to school and flung my bag on the floor. Jayson hopped back up into his seat and leaned over toward me. I leaned slightly away, totally caught off guard.

  “What, no good morning kiss?” he asked with an amusing smile.

  “Jayson, do you think you may be able to control yourself, at least while we are at school? I couldn’t take the embarrassment.”

  “Aww, that’s so sweet. You think my attention would embarrass you?” He gave me a quick wink and adjusted his seat belt. “It won’t be embarrassing. I will only be saying what every guy in the school is thinking. They will be in awe.”

  I smiled, countering his expression of satisfaction. “I wasn’t talking about embarrassment for me, I meant embarrassing for you.” His smile quickly disappeared from his face. My smile could only get bigger in response. “I only thought the constant string of rejection would damage your ego a little,” I continued. “At least while other people are around.”

  “You are good.” A hint of smile reappearing on his lips, but only of slight amusement. “I guess I will have to rethink my strategy.”

  “Rethink all you want, Jayson.” I rolled my eyes to the returned smirk he flashed me and, leaning back, I closed my eyes. The rest of the drive was relatively quiet and, keeping my eyes closed, I listening to Jayson mutter to himself every once in a while.

  Once we were at school, the morning continued with the same silence from Jayson. I could tell by his expression that he was deep in thought, with my luck he was plotting. I tried to relax, but knowing what he was doing only made me tense.

  I was having a hard time focusing and was lucky I only had my first two classes with the distraction named Jayson. Oddly enough that he wasn’t talking to me as much as usual, he found an excuse not to walk with me to my next class, which he hadn’t missed since my first day.

  Since my escort was MIA, at least for the moment, I decided to take a different way to my next class. It was just a coincidence that I passed Kamdyn on the stairs. He reached for my hand, and I pulled him close, reaching up to speak in his ear.

  “We need to talk.”

  He nodded only once and kept my hand in his as he dragged me down the stairs and out the side door of the school. He pulled us around a corner, a place I have come to learn as The Cove, a spot well hidden from the outside cameras and had no chance of onlookers. It was a common place to find the school smokers later in the day and sometimes between classes.

  He pushed me up into the corner, blocking my entire view of the area surrounding us. “Is something wrong?” he asked concerned.

  “Well…” I paused. I wasn’t positive how to present this to him. I guessed it was probably best just to be straight forward and honest. “Jayson kissed me.” I said in a low voice and looking down toward ground, not wanting to see the look on his face. He didn’t respond, but I saw both his hands form into fists at his sides. I looked up to meet his gaze. I could almost see the fire in his eyes, that flash of amethyst light, with contrast to his stone like expression.

  “Kamdyn, listen to me. I did not tell you so you could get mad.” I took a deep breath. “I told him that it wasn’t possible. That he is my friend and that I didn’t want to ruin that, which is so true. It is too important to me. But he told me he would never stop trying, and right now he’s making every attempt possible, saying every possible comment that pops into his head. I just wanted you to be aware of the things he might say before you actually see him. He’s not being shy about it, though it might not be too bad today. I told him he was only going to embarrass himself with my constant rejections.” I shrugged slightly and watched as Kamdyn smiled, a small smile, but it was a massive improvement from the war statue that was here moments ago. “Promise you won’t do anything.”

  His hand reached up and dragged tingles down my cheek. “I promise,” he said, than he pushed my shoulders slightly, forcing me backward, against the wall and smiled looking deep into my eyes. “It has only been two days, and they were two of the longest days of my life, without you.” He didn’t wait for me to say or do anything; he just bent down and kissed me, long and hard. Making me feel what he was feeling.

  When he finally pulled away, both of us breathing heavy, I couldn’t open my eyes. I leaned my head back against the wall and sighed. I heard him snicker quietly and cracked opened my eyes. “Did you not want me to stop?” Curiosity twinkled in his eyes.

  “As a matter of fact, no, I wasn’t entirely ready for you to pull away quite yet.” I picked my head up, just a little, from the wall and reached out to grab a fist full of his shirt and pulling him back to me. This time, when we finally separated, it was more out of need for air. I thought that once I was able to touch him whenever I felt the urge that my body would be satisfied to function through out the day.
But now, it only wanted more and it was getting harder and harder to reserve myself.

  We both worked to collect our breath. Once I thought I could speak to him again, with a least a little restrain, I asked him what I had been dying to know. What happened with Becky.

  He laughed softly and twisted to lean against the wall next to me. “I called her right after you left. I explained what actually happened and she seemed to understand, though she is still very upset about Jayson.”

  I laughed remembering Jayson’s recollection of his night with Becky. “So, everything is good then? We don’t have to worry about the gossip queen spreading an exaggerated truth around school?”

  “Exaggerated truth? She walked in to find us naked and in bed together. And not like she and Jayson were in bed, where one was under the covers and the other was on top of them. We were all tangled up together like we enjoyed a long night of…” “Exactly who’s side are you on?”

  “Oh trust me, I am on your side. As far as I’m concerned there is not other. I was just stating exactly what it looked like.” He raised an eyebrow and smiled a crooked and beautiful smile. “But for our sake, I think the gossip queen, as you call her, will hold her tongue. At least for a little while.”

  We stayed there, in our hidden corner, just talking, and I explained as much about what happened with Jayson as he wished to know, which was pretty much everything. I was glad to know he wasn’t going to hold it against Jayson or me. He knew there was nothing I could do and he knew how Jayson felt about me, apparently a long time before I did. He promised, again, to not do anything about Jayson’s actions, at least until we told people we were together. As much as Kamdyn was confident that Jayson would kill the passes after he learned about us, I wasn’t so sure. It is what I wanted to believe, but I felt deep in my stomach that just wasn’t the case.