“That is never going to happen, I thought I already made that clear. How can I…”
“Kamdyn, you don’t need to do anything but be here.”
He bent down quickly and gave me a kiss. “Done.”
Something felt odd here, but what it was, I wasn’t entirely sure. What I did know was that Samantha was going to continue being a problem between us. She’s like one of those knats flying around your head in the summer. The ones you smack and scream at and even run from but continue to come back. Determined little bastards. But for now, I was going to push all doubt and all future issues aside and enjoy what was in front of me.
I definitely didn’t want to hang around in my grungy pjs, so I excused myself and went to take a shower. I wasn’t gone long, since I had company waiting on the other side of the door.
When I came out, Kamdyn had made himself at ease on my bed. He looked so good there that I came out of the bathroom at a run and, leaping up into the air, I landed on top of him.
His eyes flew open in surprise. Than his arms flew up around me and rolling over, he pulled me under him. Surprised myself by his little maneuver. He smiled big at me, flashing teeth and flicking up an eyebrow. My heart nearly burst through my chest at his expression. And right now, he was all mine.
“Interesting turn of events.” he said, his words melting as each escaped his lips.
“Very.” I was barely able to say before his lips reached mine.
He pulled back slowly and carefully opened his eyes, taking in every feature of my face. Then his smile disappeared again and he looked disturbed. “Is this what she did to you?” he asked as he pushed away my damp hair and lightly stroke my neck where the light bruises formed.
“Yes, but it isn’t as bad as it looks.” I promised.
“She is lucky she is a girl. If she…”
“I took care of it Kamdyn. Please calm down. It isn’t worth getting upset about.”
“It won’t happen again. I won’t let it.” he said as he bent down to lightly trail his mouth over my injuries.
His lips worked their way up my throat and found my mouth again. He passionately kissed me, long and hard this time. Slowly he made his way back down my neck and continued down to my collar bone, sending chills through my entire body. I couldn’t help but sigh deeply. I could feel his smile on my body as his lips continued to travel down. He moved quickly, skipping over my shirt and landing his mouth down by my belly button and unhurriedly pushed my shirt up, the bottoms of my bra peeking out. He kissed his way all over my stomach. Reaching down, I pulling him by his shirt and brought him back up to my mouth.
He pulled away slightly. “Did I do something wrong?”
“Not at all. I just thought there wouldn’t be a way to stop if you kept going.”
“Trystie, don’t you trust me at all? I spent an entire night with you sleeping naked in my arms. Don’t you think I would have had my way with you then?” He smirked and I knew exactly what he was thinking about.
I scrunched my nose at his heated expression. “I wasn’t talking about you.” I replied.
My Friday pretty much followed the same schedule as Thursday. Kamdyn came over, skipping school again and hung out all day. Even during the weekend, he seemed to not ever want to go home. And really, I wasn’t about to complain. We just lounged around the house, talking. We went for walks in the woods. Strangely enough, Jayson never made and appearance. He hadn’t even called and I had to admit, I missed his everyday presence. I was tempted to give him a call on Saturday and see why he was MIA, but Kamdyn demanded my fully attention and I was kept more than occupied. But even so, I felt an almost aching emptiness without my usual distraction.
Finally, Monday came around and I was given the answer to my nagging questions when Jayson arrived at my house to pick me up for school.
I knew something was up when he didn’t come to the door. Instead he just sat in the driveway and honked his horn.
“Enjoy your vacation?” he asked with a slight edge to his voice as I hopped up into his truck.
“It was alright, long and boring though.” I was trying not to give into this tone. “Where have you been?”
“I was home.” he answered looking away. He didn’t say anything for a while as we drove down my driveway and through town. The tension was a tangible thing in the air and it was killing me. What was wrong with him?
“Jayson, what’s up? You didn’t come by this weekend, you didn’t call and now you’re acting weird. Talk to me.” Still he didn’t say anything. He didn’t even look at me.
I humphed and crossed my arms over my chest, waiting for an answer I knew wouldn’t come. He just kept driving in silence, all the way to school.
He parked in his usual spot in the dirt parking lot off the side of the school. I grabbed my bag and jumped out of the truck, making my way into the school without waiting, without looking back to see if Jayson was following. A hand grabbed my arm and held me still. I looked down at the hand on my arm then raised my narrowed eyes to the person attached to the offending thing.
He dropped his hand quickly and met my eyes. “Come with me. Please?”
“Oh, now you want to talk? Why the hell should I?”
“Because I said please?” Accompanied by his puppy eyes, I felt my anger receding.
I forced back the smile I could feel tugging at my lips. “Fine. But make it fast.”
He reached down and took my hand. I wanted badly, just to prove how mad I was at him, to pull it away. Instead I let him drag me down a path behind the parking lot, that I never noticed was there before, and into the woods.
The narrow trail led deep into the woods and wound around thick trees and even a small pond. Jayson came to a stop in a slightly more open area. Turning around I noticed I couldn’t see the parking lot anymore, so obviously, no one could see us.
I looked up at him, crossing my arms over my chest and waited, trying to still look irritated. Avoiding my eyes, he just looked around for a while, staring off into the forest surrounding us. Watching him, I noticed that he looked different today. Not like something about him was physically changed, but his face was different. He looked, I don’t know. Nervous?
“Jayson, please tell me why you brought me here. It’s cold, dark and we’re going to be late.” I finally said breaking the long and oddly uncomfortable silence.
He looked down at me then, shoving his hands into his pockets. “I know,” was all he said.
I narrowed my eyes. “You know what?”
“About you can Kamdyn.”
“Me and Kamdyn, what?”
“Please don’t make me say it.” His eyes locked on mine and I couldn’t help but notice the pain in them. Which I completely didn’t understand.
I looked down to the ground then, no longer able to bare the emotion so apparent in his eyes. A million words ran through my head, but none of them seemed right. I finally opened my mouth to say something, anything, but he stopped me.
“It’s okay, you don’t have to say anything.” He said as if he could read my mind. “After the fight last week, Kamdyn was acting kind of weird and withdrawn. We all had a feeling there was something going on. But I knew. It was only a matter of time I guess. I was hoping I was wrong and that I was just picking up a look here and a comment there because I was looking for them. I was proved wrong when I came so see you after school on Thursday.” He looked away again, toward the parking lot, like he heard someone coming, than turned back to me. He took a deep breath. “I need to tell you something, but I want you to promise not to freak out, okay?”
“Okay,” I responded without even thinking twice about it.
“No, promise me.”
Taking a second to make sure I prepared for what was coming, I answered. “I promise.”
“You know how I feel about you. That I care about you deeply, but…”
“Jayson, what?” I was starting to get nervous. I could feel my heartbeat kick up a notch. I honestly didn’t think he
could have anything more to tell me. As it was I never thought he cared for me more than a good friend would.
“I know you’re with Kamdyn now, but that’s not going to change how I feel. Even though he is my best friend, so are you. I want you both to be happy, even if it is at my expense.”
“Jayson, please just say whatever you need to say.”
There was a long stretch of time where he looked directly into my eyes but said nothing. The only thing I could do was watch him and wait in silence until he was ready to say whatever he needed to say.
Finally, he reached out and took both my hands into his. They were warm and comforting and chased away the slight chill in the air that had wrapped around me since we entered the woods. “I’m in love with you, Trystie.”
My mouth fell open and I became dizzy. I knew he cared about me, he told me that. But never in my life had I expected this. How was I supposed to react to this?
“Jayson, you know I care about you, but you are my best friend.”
“I know you do, but I also feel like there is more there than you realize. It’s just that your vision is clouded right now.”
In the distance I heard the bell ring, and had no time to say anything more. He grabbed my arm and we ran toward the school. As we were walking to the front doors, I stopped and looked at him. He turned around and walked back the couple steps he was ahead of me.
“Jayson, we obviously need to talk.”
“Just as I’d hoped,” he said, and ran through the doors without looking to see if I followed.
I took my time getting to my locker and to my first class. I didn’t care that I would be late. I needed to think. This just wasn’t cool. What am I supposed to do now? Jayson is my best friend. We have a relationship that I would never want to ruin. And I am with Kamdyn now. He wasn’t something I ever wanted to lose, someone that I couldn’t lose. I would have to tell him about this. But I needed time to talk with Jayson more, before I said anything to Kamdyn.
It just figures after a dating history as bad as mine, never finding one decent person, that here I would find two and be completely caught off guard by just how important they both are in my life.
Someone up there really hates me.
I arrived to class fifteen minutes late, and took my usual seat next to Jayson.
“Where the hell have you been? You were right behind me.” he whispered across the isle.
I didn’t answer. I sat there, not a word leaving my mouth for my first two periods. When the bell finally rang, I snatched up all my things and took off through the crowded chaos you call a high school hallway, and booked it for my next class. I didn’t want Jayson’s company right now. I needed time to think without him in my ear.
I absentmindedly flowed through the next couple periods, right into lunch. I sat like a zombie at the lunch table, squeezed between Jayson and Lauren. I noticed, when I glanced up, that Becky was sitting across from me. Trying to avoid making eye contact with me, she moved her eyes to the floor when she saw me look up. At first I was confused by her actions, until the thought hit me. I knew why she seemed nervous. She felt guilty for having started the fight between Samantha and me. I didn’t say anything to her, not wanting to draw attention to either of us. Instead, I continued to stare at her until she met my gaze. When she finally looked up at me, I gave her a small smile, telling her with my eyes that I didn’t blame her. I knew she would find out anyways, someday. She would either learn it through a rumor or she would see it in the halls. Either way, the fight was bound to happen. Just because it happened earlier then it normally would have. How could I blame her for that?
She gave me heartfelt smile and held my eyes. We were able to have an entire conversation using only our eyes, which no one else in the room even noticed we’d had. Her eyes were beaming and bright when I eventually looked away, closing off from the world again and retreating inside to figure out my own problems.
Closing off from all the sights and sounds around me, I wrapped myself in my own little world. One where this wasn’t my life. One where I didn’t have problems like the ones I was facing now. My parents were dead. I didn’t, almost constantly, feel alone. I pretended I was back in my old life, where I was completely oblivious to the actual pains of true life and I drowned my trivial sorrows in longs afternoons full of shopping and lying in the hot sand on the beach. What didn’t help was thinking about the two things I would miss the most in going back to those days. Both Kamdyn and Jayson. Completeing that thought didn’t help my thought process in any way, shape or form. I was seriously considering throwing my tray from fries across the room when I felt arms wrap around my waist, heaving me up into the air and pulling me away from my table and out from the past.
I was suspended somewhere in the air when I noticed the sensation I felt around my hips and I couldn’t help but smile. Before I knew what was happening, we were out the doors to the lunch room and making our way down the hall.
Once we were out of sight from anyone who cared to look, Kamdyn spin me around and cradled me to his chest. Still walking fast down the empty halls, he didn’t say anything.
“You know, I can walk.” I said looking up into his beautiful face and smiled. He was exactly what I needed right now, it was too easy to forget anything else existed while we were together. I waited, looking into his eyes, for him to respond. But he didn’t. The only reaction I got from him was a cute sideways smirk and a small glance in my direction.
He carried he throughout the school as if I weighed nothing more than pillow he carried in his arms.
How is he carrying me like I weigh nothing? I’m not actually heavy, but carrying anyone for this long could tire anyone out. Couldn’t it?
It wasn’t long afterward, that we were outside and he was setting me down at a picnic table outside. It was surprisingly warm outside today, for November. The sun was beating on the exact spot we were sitting. It was hardly summer outside, but with Kamdyn at my side, I felt nothing but heat.
He sat down next to me at the table. Still holding my hand, he leaned close. “I missed you.” he whispered.
I looked over at him with a coy expression. “It’s only been a few hours.” I laughed.
“I know,” he said as he looked down at the ground. “I just can’t help myself. It is painful being away from you. If I never needed to let you go, I wouldn’t.”
“Then don’t.”
He gave me a very heated expression that said he would devour me if he could. I shivered as he leaned down and gently pressed his lips against mine. When I finally pulled away, I saw his eyes were still closed. He sighed silently, reaching out to me again. Without opening his eyes, he started pulling my face back toward his.
“I wasn’t done yet.” he lightly breathed against my mouth, just before he kissed me again.
This time, I knew better than to be the one to pull away.
Pulling away he gave me a satisfied smile.
“Was that enough for you, this time?” I asked teasingly.
“No, not even close. But I figured you might need some time to breathe,” He casually shrugged his shoulders. “It’s only fair.” He swung an arm up and draped it around my shoulders, while spinning me so my back to could lean up against his chest. Once I was pulled against him comfortably, his arm fell over my left shoulder, draping across my chest, resting on the right side of my collar bone. We just sat that way for a little a while. Just feeling him near made my head completely clear. I had no outside thoughts, no other cares. Nothing else mattered.
His hand moved from where it rested and his fingers dragged along my neck, tracing the links of the chain I was wearing around my neck. His hand stopped on the charm at the end of the necklace, picking it up he rested its weight in his hand.
“Tell me about this necklace.” He said as he let it rest back in it’s place to the right of my heart. “I noticed you never take it off.”
I took a deep breath before I answered. Over the last couple months, since the accident
, I tried not to think too much about them. It was painful to remember they were no longer here with me. The one thing I was sure of was that if they could tell me one thing to so after they had gone, I knew that they would want me to live my life like they never left. They wouldn’t want even their deaths to alter the life I want for myself. The life they wanted me to have. They always wanted my happiness, so every moment I spent crying over their loss was time they wouldn’t want me to waste. I tired to remember that every time they popped into my head.
It was hard to think of them without crying. A tear escaped my eye before I had the chance to catch it and it fell daintily onto Kamdyn arm. “It was my mother’s.” I heard myself struggle to say the words as Kamdyn’s hand reached up to wipe away the tears, now coming much more steadily.
“I am sorry about them. I know no one here has said so, even though we all know what happened. No one wanted to upset you.” He played with a lock of my hair hanging over my shoulder then replaced his fingers over my necklace. “It is a beautiful locket. It belongs with you.”
My heart clenched at those words. “Thank you, Kamdyn.” I tried to stop my tears from coming, but it seemed I kept them locked up for so long, with no one to talk to, they just wouldn’t stop. Kamdyn sat there, his arm tightening around me, letting me get it all out. When I was finally able to structure a sentence, I sat up and turned toward him, wiping my eyes.
“My mom would have loved you, you know.” I said with a half smile.
“How could you know that?” he asked intriguingly with a little laugh.
“It’s funny, you know, now that I think about it. My mom used to tell me all the time the type of guy she didn’t want me with, which was always the guys I found. After her long lectures on the wrong guy, she would describe the guy I should be with, the one she saw me with.” I didn’t know at the time she saw him literally. I could hear her voice in my head as I thought about all the times she told me about my perfect guy. Her description never changed over my years of dating.
Beautiful Nightmare Page 14