by J. H. Croix
Holly had stayed in Willow Brook, only leaving temporarily while she went to nursing school in Anchorage. I went to flight school, focusing on getting my pilot’s license to fly small planes and helicopters. Things shifted between us, and I had ordered my body to stop lusting after her.
That had been years ago. All bets were off now. When I approached the large round table, I noticed the only empty chair happened to be beside Holly. Score. Slipping into it, I scanned the table. Caleb was here with his arm draped around Ella’s shoulders. Caleb and I shared the same brown hair and eyes, while Ella had dark brown hair and green eyes. For the first time in years, Caleb seemed back to himself.
That accident had nearly torn him apart. His best friend had died and his girlfriend had come too damn close. Ella and Caleb were those rare people who met young, and you just knew they were meant to be together, even then. I’d been so damn relieved when they finally got back together. Now I could tease him again.
Cade Masters, Ella’s older brother, was there, along with his wife, Amelia. A few hotshot firefighters were there, as well as one of Holly’s friends, Rachel Garrett, a medical assistant.
I grinned when Caleb called over, “Hey, how was the flight?”
“Uneventful, exactly how I like them. The wind was down, which isn’t always the case when it’s sunny, so that was a win.”
A waiter stopped by the table, and I ordered a beer and a burger, glancing down at Holly’s almost empty wine glass. “Need a refill?” I asked.
Her wide brown eyes swung up to mine. My body tensed instantly, that low hum of anticipation rising a notch.
“Sure,” she replied, glancing up to the waiter and lifting her glass.
“Be right back with that,” he said as he turned away.
“How’s it going?” I asked.
Holly’s cheeks pinkened as she looked up at me. It did not help matters, not one bit, that I knew what her lips felt like under mine. The memory of it was quite fresh. She had plump, full lips, and a teasing tongue I just knew would drive me wild swirling around my cock.
The things I wanted to do to Holly Blake weren’t appropriate thoughts for the moment.
“Fine,” she said, her voice coming out husky. She quickly gulped down the last bit of her wine.
“How about you?”
“Same. Less than a month until Valentine’s Day,” I replied with a grin.
Her cheeks flushed even pinker. Hot damn, I wanted to kiss her.
“What are you doing?” she hissed.
I couldn’t help but grin. I suspected Holly wanted to keep our upcoming date a secret, a very well-kept secret. Although I wasn’t up for our tight knit circle of friends knowing all about it, I sure as hell didn’t mind teasing her about it.
Leaning an elbow on the table, I curled my other hand over her thigh, feeling the heat of her skin through the denim. “What?” I asked innocently.
“What are you doing?” she repeated, her tone low and fierce.
“What do you think?” I murmured as I slid my hand up her thigh. She shifted her legs and cast a glare in my direction. Although I was getting a kick out of teasing her, I underestimated my body’s own reaction to being close to her. My cock swelled, pressing against the buttons of my fly.
Because it was Holly, and because somehow we’d tumbled back to a place where I couldn’t help but challenge her, I stubbornly left my hand on her thigh, my thumb brushing back and forth. The temptation to slide further up and feel the sweet heat of her core was strong.
That was the thing that was making me so damn crazy about Holly. I didn’t do things like this. I had flings—brief, casual, and always under control. Holly snatched my control.
Cade said something, dragging my attention away from Holly. Conversation carried around us while I was only half-focused. My beer arrived, followed by my burger, and only then did I actually remove my hand from her. For God’s sake, the fact that simply touching her thigh had made me this turned on was saying something.
Holly was busy talking to Amelia when Ella made a comment directed at me.
“Oh, well that’s Nate’s job,” she said, tossing a teasing grin my way.
“Nate’s job?” Caleb’s question came next.
“The local player,” Ella said with a little laugh. “Come to think of it though, you’ve been falling down on the job.”
I felt Holly’s gaze swing to me. Normally, I would take this in stride, but I was caught just now. I wanted to play it cool and pass this off with a laugh. Yet, the last thing I wanted was for Holly to think that was still my thing. Even more, I didn’t want her to read too much into us. I figured that would send her running.
With a few too many eyes at the table on me, I simply shrugged and laughed. “I’m not that much of a player.”
I felt my brother’s gaze on me, his eyes narrowing. Caleb had actually commented on this very thing the other day. He’d never hesitated to give me shit. He had maintained the role of the responsible older brother quite well. In some ways, the tragedy of his best friend from high school dying and Ella almost dying had kicked the laugh right out of Caleb for a few years. He was getting it back, but he’d never been one to play the joker.
Whether it was in reaction to events or not, I’d assumed that role in our family, in more ways than one.
“Well, you settle down and then maybe I’ll believe it,” Ella said with another laugh. Lately, she’d been on my case as well, telling me I was going to miss out on the right person if I refused to consider anything serious. Seeing as Holly was her best friend, I wasn’t about to tell Ella that I was distracted and restless and not able to even notice another woman entirely because of Holly.
In fact, I hadn’t had sex since before last Halloween. Unlike last year after our unexpected make out session in the closet when we were both a little too drunk, I hadn’t been able to shake the effect of Holly on me this time.
“All right, well, then maybe you’ll believe it sometime,” I replied easily.
Caleb simply rolled his eyes and shook his head while Ella patted my shoulder. I loved my friends and loved my family, but I didn’t love how damn nosy they could be. Blessedly, conversation moved on when the waiter stopped by to gather empty plates and see if anybody needed anything else.
Chapter Six
Holly
My cheeks were hot, my panties were wet, and my pulse just wouldn’t quit. Not that I wanted it to quit, mind you. That would’ve meant I was having a heart attack. Although, I suppose Nate was the most likely person to cause me to have a heart attack.
I needed to escape. With him here beside me, his heat and strength emanating, and the woodsy scent he carried drifting to me, I was all kinds of hot and bothered. I took a shaky breath, letting it out slowly. When Charlie stood to go, I snagged my jacket off the back of my chair.
“I need to get going too,” I said brightly.
Not bothering to wait for a round of goodbyes, I blew a kiss at the table in general and spun away, hurrying to catch up with Charlie. She glanced over her shoulder, her gray eyes meeting mine. “You okay?” she asked.
I wanted to say, “No, not at all. I want to fuck one of my best friends, or someone who used to be one of my best friends, but we grew apart because life does that when things get weird. But I can’t. It doesn’t make any sense because he’s a player, and I can’t just be another in his long list of women. He’ll break my heart, and I already know it.”
Those words stayed locked in my mind with my biggest secret nagging at me. I was a virgin. It was a heavy weight to carry. No one knew, and probably everybody would be shocked.
All of these thoughts stumbled through my mind as I looked at Charlie. We had come to a stop near the bar where a narrow hallway led to the back parking lot.
“Are you okay, Holly?” she repeated. This time, her voice held more than passing concern. I didn’t know what she saw in my expression, but she looked downright worried.
I nodded quickly. “Oh yeah, I
’m fine, just a little tired.”
Charlie regarded me for another moment, the hum of voices around us carrying on. After a beat, she gave my shoulder a squeeze and resumed walking, her dark hair swinging between her shoulders as she walked ahead of me down the hallway. I wondered what Charlie would think if she knew about my unintended virginal state. I doubted she would laugh because she was too kind for that, but I was pretty sure she’d be damn surprised. I was myself.
Charlie was a doctor, and I worked with her occasionally at the hospital. We’d become friends through work and our social circles bumping into each other once she got serious with Jesse Franklin, a hotshot firefighter who happened to be friends with many of my friends. I loved how down to earth Charlie was. She’d been through her own series of challenges—taking care of her mother with dementia and adopting her niece after her sister died from cancer. She certainly understood that life was complicated, but she took it in stride.
Somehow, I always found it easier to be there for my friends—to be the strong one, the funny one—than to let them know just how out of whack I felt inside sometimes. With a mental shake, I paused beside the bathroom in the hall, calling out to Charlie who was a few strides ahead of me. “Bathroom break before I drive home. I’ll probably see you at the hospital in the next few days, okay?”
Charlie glanced back, flashing a smile. “Of course. I’m on call Friday.”
Stepping into the bathroom, I closed the door and leaned against it, taking a few deep breaths. I went to the bathroom quickly. After washing my hands in the sink, I splashed some water on my face. My cheeks were hot, and I needed to cool down. Hell, I was hot all over, but then, that was the effect Nate had on me.
I was seriously considering how to get out of the stupid date with him. It was bad enough I couldn’t seem to kick him out of my mind. Ever since that stupid kiss at that party—all because I’d had a little too much champagne—I hadn’t been able to stop thinking about it. Then, that fundraiser happened, and he kissed me. Again.
And then again in the elevator. Oh God. I splashed more water on my face. Just thinking about what happened in the elevator pretty much set me on fire. Kisses with Nate were a terrible idea for me. He was too damn good at it. He was in his own category when it came to driving me absolutely wild. Even though I was a virgin, I had no shortage of experience with everything that led up to the main act, so to speak.
After the accident in high school, all the guys in town kept about a mile away from me. Everyone assumed I was heartbroken and devastated. And I was, but not in the way everybody thought. Jake and I had sort of fallen into dating. With Jake being Caleb’s best friend and Ella mine, we were thrown together all the time. It was high school, and we were young. We’d been friends for years as it was. Like I had told Ella many times after she and Caleb broke up and before they found their way back to each other, not everyone found the kind of love they had when they were young.
Especially not in high school. Most of us were just stumbling along, with our hormones sending confusing signals. By virtue of our two best friends falling madly in love and spending every minute together, Jake and I were together a lot. So, we started dating. He was my friend, and I cared about him. I was devastated when he died, but not because he’d been the love of my life. What a confusing heartbreak it was.
The whole town, or that was how it felt, assumed our love had been devastatingly cut short. When it really was more a friendship that had been brutally cut short. Because of the genuine tragedy of Jake’s death, everyone made all kinds of assumptions. Meanwhile, I was grief-stricken and my best friend almost died on top of it. All three of us had survivor’s guilt. While Ella had fled from it, I faced it head-on and got through to the other side. I was truly okay, yet I never got around to correcting the assumption everyone made about Jake and me. It was what it was, and it felt weird to go out of my way to say we’d mostly been friends after it all.
By the time I was in the mood to have fun and date again, I somehow missed out on ditching my virginity. I was a freaking virgin at the age of twenty-eight. It was a bit of a burden and more annoying than anything. At this stage in my life, I was well aware most men would be surprised to learn I was still one.
Either I lied by omission and didn’t tell anyone I was a virgin, and it was maybe a little awkward if things got that far, or I told them the truth, and they ran screaming the other way. Because who wanted to deal with a twenty-eight-year-old virgin? Certainly not me. I didn’t even want to deal with myself about it.
After another splash of cold water on my face, I dabbed my face with a towel, dried my hands, and stepped out of the bathroom. Only to run smack into Nate walking down the hallway.
Fuck, fuck, fuck.
He glanced down, his eyes darkening the moment they met mine. “I thought you left,” he said.
I reached down and zipped up my jacket as I stepped back, heat flooding through me all over again. “I’m leaving right now,” I said quickly. I strolled past him, tucking my hands into my jacket sleeves and gripping the cuffs, as if that would somehow keep me from latching onto him.
Nate caught up to me quickly. I could feel his presence behind me as his hand reached out, curling around the handle of the door and pulling it open for me. My eyes flicked down, watching his strong fingers, coasting over a few scars on his knuckles. He had good hands—strong and rugged. A shiver ran through me as I recalled the feel of his fingers inside me.
It suddenly occurred to me he wasn’t wearing the brace on his hand anymore. “Where’s your brace?” I asked, almost relieved for something to say that had nothing to do with the mad desire spinning inside me.
“Hand feels fine. Charlie only told me to wear it until it felt better, so that’s what I did,” he replied with a quick shrug.
“Oh.”
“You sure you don’t want to lecture me on it?” he asked, his lips curling into a sly grin.
Rolling my eyes, I shook my head and hurried past him, the cold winter air a welcome relief as it hit my skin. “Good night,” I called over my shoulder. I could practically feel his gaze boring into my back as I hurried across the parking lot and jumped in my car.
On the drive home, through the winter night with the silver light of the moon cast over the snowy landscape, I resolved to myself that I would call Nate tomorrow and tell him we just couldn’t do this. I wanted him too much, and I wanted more than I knew he was willing to offer.
Chapter Seven
Holly
Staring into the kitchen pantry the next morning, I looked up at the empty spot on the shelf where I should’ve had a bag of coffee beans. Shit. I looked hopefully toward the coffee grinder sitting innocently beside the espresso maker on my kitchen counter. I strode to it, pulling out the bin to see if maybe there was enough coffee for a cup in there. No such luck. There was maybe enough for a thimbleful of coffee. Most definitely not enough to start my day.
I sighed. So much for a leisurely morning before I went into work. I needed coffee, and I needed it now. I had a shitty night’s sleep. I’d arrived home hot and bothered after spending too much time in Nate’s proximity. I tried to talk my body down, but I finally gave in and used my trusty vibrator to take care of matters. Unfortunately, the only man who passed through my thoughts when my climax crashed over me was Nate.
My kitchen was a bit of a mess too. I had hoped for enough time to clean up this morning. There were a few too many dishes piled in my sink, and I needed to start a load of laundry. I lived alone in a small apartment above an office supply business, and the windows looked out over Main Street in downtown Willow Brook. My kitchen was cute, with a small island with stools for seating, and pretty slate blue tile on the counters and the floor, the white birch cabinets brightening the space.
The kitchen faced the living room, which had a small sectional with plenty of cushions, a television mounted on the side wall, and a view of Swan Lake in the distance. I had enough money to buy my own place and some property, but
it didn’t feel right. I wanted to settle down and have a family, and had been resisting actually buying my own home. Somehow, it represented to me the capitulation into permanent single status. I knew it wasn’t logical, but it was what it was. I respected the hell out of women who chose to live independently and on their own terms, but I wanted a shot at a relationship.
With a sigh, I padded across the hardwood floor in the living room, running a hand through my messy hair, and stepped into the small bedroom. This was definitely a one-person apartment with the kitchen and living room together, and one giant bedroom with a single bathroom.
I needed coffee more than I needed a morning to myself. After rushing through a shower, I tossed all the dishes in the dishwasher, then threw the laundry in the washer and put it on a delayed start before I left to walk down to Firehouse Café.
The café was conveniently right down the street. I bundled up so the icy winter morning didn’t bother me too much. The air wasn’t quite as good as coffee, but it certainly woke me up.
Willow Brook was a pretty little town in the winter with Swan Lake iced over, and the marks of skis and ice skates crisscrossing its surface. The mountains stood sentry in the distance, their tall, snowcapped peaks shimmering against the horizon. In some elevated parts of town, the ocean was visible. It was about a half an hour drive south. With Anchorage roughly an hour east and the wilderness stretching out beyond Willow Brook, it felt as if the little town was a world unto itself in the winter. I suppose it was.
Come summer, the world came to Willow Brook in the form of hikers, bikers, hunters, and more, all vying for a slice of Alaska’s beauty. The storefronts along Willow Brook’s Main Street were a mix of small restaurants and shopping, mostly outdoor gear and arts, and a few choice coffee shops. Firehouse Café loomed ahead on the corner of Main Street and another cross street. It was aptly named as it was housed in the town’s original fire station. Years back, the small town had built an improved fire station to serve as a hub for the region. The old fire station was in a square, two-story brick building.