by J. H. Croix
Ella startled me when she spoke. “You really like him, don’t you?”
She knew me too well for me to try to lie. My defenses were down, and I was tipsy from a few martinis. Rolling my head sideways on the back of the couch, I met her concerned gaze. “Maybe, but I’ll be okay. Don’t worry about me. Worrying is my job anyway. Don’t try to take it away.”
That had been my job for a long time in our friendship. We’d both been hit hard by what happened in the accident, but Ella had been the one driving. Although the accident was entirely the fault of the drunk driver who hit us, survivor’s guilt had weighed heavily on her, more so than for Caleb and me, who had also been in the car.
She smiled softly, her laugh low in the quiet room. “Maybe so, but I get to worry too,” she said, then her voice grew firm. “And I’ll kick Nate’s ass if he hurts you.”
Chapter Sixteen
Nate
It was Sunday evening, and I was relieved I would be flying this group out the following morning. The weather looked good, so I hoped to be up in the air by sunrise. Being a little further north, the sun came up a little later. By my estimation and Dave’s confirmation, I’d be wheels up before nine a.m.
I was dropping this group off in Anchorage, but then I would be flying my plane back to Willow Brook. This group has been dedicated to skiing all weekend, only appearing in the evenings inside the lodge. Dave, Nancy, and I were lounging in front of the fireplace, in one of the smaller collections of chairs in the main room. The television droned in the background while Dave and I finished a hand of rummy.
The main door into the lodge opened, voices filtering in as a group came inside. After they hung up their jackets and knocked the snow off their gear, they shuffled upstairs for showers. In short order, most of them were back downstairs where we all enjoyed a casual dinner of pizzas, courtesy of Nancy.
After we finished eating, we enjoyed more drinks in front of the fire. Aside from the single woman in the group I had transported here, there was another woman who’d flown in from Fairbanks, who was also quite the flirt. Yet again, I felt absolutely nothing. In fact, it grated on me slightly. Not that I had ever minded it, but there was definitely a theme of women traveling to Alaska to search out some rugged hunk of a man. It was a stereotype, one that Alaska had only fed into. There were a few reality shows, a calendar, and even a freaking magazine that leaned on that stereotype.
Seeing as I was usually looking for nothing more than passing flings, that label worked to my advantage. For the first time ever, I found the attention annoying. I wanted to shake it off. After I managed to lightly brush off the flirtations of one of the women, she spun away with a wink.
Dave’s chuckle reached my ears, and I glanced in his direction. “What?” I asked.
Nancy leaned over to pick up her beer from the coffee table and shook her head. “You’ve never been short on women, but it seems to annoy you this time. Are you seeing someone?”
I honestly didn’t know what the hell to say. I enjoyed visiting with Dave and Nancy. They were old friends and good people. They were also low drama, which was nice. This weekend had been different. I’d been hyperaware of the easy comfort they shared with each other, and the depth of commitment and love that was so evident between them.
They had been together more than a decade at this point, and nothing had faded. There was only one woman I had ever wanted to have that kind of comfort with—Holly. I had completely underestimated how quickly she would lasso my heart and cinch it tight.
When Nancy cleared her throat, I managed a casual shrug. “Not really, but dating does get old sometimes.”
They both knew Holly, but I certainly wasn’t up for going into that right now. Anything I had with her was so fresh that I didn’t dare start talking about it. Not until I had a better sense of where things actually stood. One of the things I had always loved about Holly was how sassy and fiery she was. She had never been a woman to back down, and she was independent as all hell. Those very qualities I admired gave me pause. I walked a treacherous path between her viewing me as a man rather than a friend.
Dave chuckled. “Well, damn. Something tells me you just might want to settle down soon.”
Oh, for fuck’s sake. I loved having friends that I’d known since I was a kid, the kind of friends you knew you could count on, no matter what. That said, I didn’t love having friends who could see right through me. With another shrug, I replied, “Maybe.”
Nancy threw her head back with a laugh, nudging my knee with her foot. “Well, I’ve always said you’d make a damn good husband. Not for me, I just mean, I thought it was a waste.”
“A waste?”
“You, wasting all your time on all these other women. That’s all. You’re a good man,” she explained.
At that moment, two couples meandered over and conversation moved on. Blessedly, I might add.
That night, lying in bed, with a view out the window at the stars bright against the dark sky, Holly filled my thoughts and senses.
I’d had plenty of sex in my life. Yet, no experience had prepared me for that night with Holly. That night contained more than one first. Holly had held center stage in too many fantasies over the years. To have them come true rocked my world. It was also a first to experience intimacy that spun around us like a shimmering web, the filaments of silk cinching tighter and tighter. I’d been entirely unprepared for that.
The other first—the one that had kept me awake every night since—was that I couldn’t get her out of my mind. The feel of her silken channel clenching around me, the sound of her husky voice, the rasp of her moans, the feel of her skin damp against mine and her lush curves pressed against me — all of it together, wrapped up into the hottest fucking night of my life.
I had wholly underestimated what it would feel like to actually be with her. I had also miscalculated the potential, oh-so-fucking messy complications if things didn’t work out.
She had slayed me, completely ruined me for any other woman.
That night, alone in a bed in the middle of nowhere in Alaska, with nothing but the darkness, the stars, the mountains, and the icy winter air outside surrounding me, my cock ached simply replaying what it felt like to be with her in my mind.
I kicked the covers off, and strolled into the bathroom. A cold shower and my own hand brought me relief. Yet, it didn’t satisfy my need. It barely scratched the surface.
The following afternoon, the sun was starting its bow in the sky as I lifted my small plane into the air in Anchorage and aimed west toward Willow Brook. I’d been in a rush to leave hours earlier, but one thing after another had slowed me down after we landed in Anchorage. The flight home was a hop, skip, and a jump. Within twenty minutes, with the ocean stretched out to one side and the mountains on the other, a valley opened up, and I could see Swan Lake shimmering under the gold and orange of the setting sun.
In short order, I had landed at the small runway on the outskirts of town and was putting my plane away in the hangar. The sound of the door opening echoed through the cavernous space. “Nate,” Caleb’s voice called.
Slinging my backpack over my shoulder, I rounded the plane. “Hey man, what’s up?” I asked as he approached.
Caleb and I shared the same coloring. His brown hair was rumpled, likely from a busy day fighting some kind of fire somewhere, or perhaps rescuing someone. My older brother was definitely a stereotype—a hotshot-firefighter-save-the-day kind of guy. I loved to tease him about it, but I wouldn’t trade him as a brother for the world.
Caleb stopped by the plane as I let my backpack slide to the floor, and I rested my hips against the cockpit door. “Not much. Saw your truck and thought I’d see if you wanted to swing by Wildlands to catch a drink with the guys.”
Normally, this would be an easy yes. I was on edge and could use the time to wind down with friends. I’d been too damn restless to get here and see Holly. I wanted to drive straight to her place, yet I was fucking starving. In this case
, though, one need ran roughshod over the other. I needed to see Holly. Sooner rather than later. My need for her was more pressing than air, water, or food. Catching Caleb’s eyes, I shook my head. “I gotta run home and grab a shower. I’m pretty beat.”
I was lying through my teeth. I’d had a shower this morning. Although I wasn’t lying about the fact that I was tired, I sure as hell wasn’t too tired to go track Holly down with every intention of getting skin-to-skin with her as soon as feasibly possible.
If Caleb picked up on anything, he let it slide and simply shrugged. “Suit yourself.”
I pushed my hips away from the plane, leaning over to snag my backpack again. We started walking out together in silence. I sensed something was on Caleb’s mind, but I didn’t know what. After I locked up the hangar, we walked toward our trucks together. He paused at the passenger side of mine as I opened the door and tossed my backpack on the seat.
“I figure I better let you know that Ella will kick your fucking ass—her words, not mine—if you hurt Holly,” Caleb said flatly.
Oh fuck. This could only mean one thing. Holly must’ve said something to Ella about us.
Turning, I closed the door and rested my hand on the hood as I glanced to Caleb. “She’ll kick my fucking ass?” I countered.
Caleb bit back a laugh and nodded. He didn’t add anything else, and I figured he was waiting to see what I would say.
“Look, I don’t know what Ella knows…” I let my words trail off when Caleb flashed a wide grin.
“Well, she knows you had sex with Holly because I got an earful about it. Let me tell you, the last thing I want is a lecture about my brother’s sex life.”
“Oh, for fuck’s sake,” I muttered, running a hand through my hair.
“Dude, I don’t care to know the details. But you know how Ella is. She’s all protective and doesn’t want to see Holly get hurt. Plus, she thinks Holly wants something serious and isn’t so sure it’s a good idea for you two to be hooking up. Again, none of my business, but I do get her point. You’re not exactly interested in anything more. Never have been.”
Staring at Caleb, I sighed. “I know. It’s not like that with Holly. She means something. I’m just not so sure she’ll believe me.”
I could not fucking believe I was having this conversation. It wasn’t as if my brother and I didn’t have serious conversations. We’d always been close. Also, with everything that Caleb went through after the accident in high school, it got us over any lingering anxieties about tackling heavy topics. That had been some seriously heavy shit, and we’d made it through to the other side.
Truth was, back when I’d been in high school, I hadn’t said a word to anybody about my crush on Holly. The very accident that put us through the fire as far as talking about heavy subjects made it so many other things didn’t get addressed.
Seeing as I had all but dedicated myself to casual relationships after that, I certainly hadn’t had conversations about romance with Caleb. When I met his gaze, I saw a mixture of understanding and a hint of amusement.
“Go ahead and laugh,” I said, circling my hand in the air and turning to rest my hips against my truck.
Caleb chuckled. “Does Holly know?”
“Know what?”
“That you want something more than casual?”
Leaning my head back to look at the sky, I took a deep breath, letting it out before I leveled my gaze with Caleb’s. “I don’t think so.”
Caleb shook his head. “Well, you’ve got your work cut out for you. Not to mention, I wonder what Alex is going to think of all this.”
I groaned. “So am I.”
“True, but she’s your best friend’s twin sister. Your reputation precedes you. You might want to head him off at the pass before he gets the wrong idea.”
“Right. That makes perfect sense. But I can’t exactly do that without making sure Holly’s okay with it. She’ll fucking read me the riot act if I start talking without her say-so. Although, I guess it’s okay for her to gossip to her friends,” I muttered.
Caleb chuckled. “Saying something to her best friend isn’t quite gossip. I’d let that one slide. You know Ella won’t say a thing to anyone. She only said something to me because we’re married. Well, and I guess she thought I’d keep you in line. I’ll have to tell her there’s nothing to worry about.”
Eyeing Caleb, I shrugged. “Definitely not.”
He was quiet, his gaze assessing. After a few beats, he chuckled again. “I’ll see you around then. Mom and Dad want to have dinner this weekend, you coming?” he asked as he turned toward his truck.
“Of course. I’ll see you then, if not sooner.”
Chapter Seventeen
Nate
I turned onto Main Street in downtown Willow Brook. I didn’t know if this was flat-out crazy, but I was going to see Holly. Now.
When I pulled up behind her building and cut my engine, I sat in silence for a moment. Need was already thrumming through me—a restlessness to see her, to lose myself in her, driving me.
I had no idea what to expect from her, or if she cared to see me. Climbing out of my truck, the cold winter air was almost a relief. The sharpness hit my senses and opened them wide.
I knocked on her kitchen door and waited. I assumed she was home because her car was here, but she also could’ve walked to Wildlands or Firehouse Café. I happened to know her preferred hangouts, if only because I’d known her forever.
Just enough time passed between when I knocked and I heard her footsteps approaching the door that I started to wonder if she wasn’t here. A sense of disappointment slammed into me.
When I heard her approach, a breath I hadn’t known I’d been holding slipped out in a sigh. There was a peephole on her door, and I saw her eye looking through. I knew she wasn’t a fan of drop-ins, and I wondered if she would simply ignore me. It was clear she wasn’t expecting me when she opened the door. She wore a long T-shirt that hung halfway down her thighs and a pair of bulky, fuzzy socks—one pink and one blue. I bit back a laugh because I knew when Holly was little she was always ending up with mismatched socks on. It was so her to not even bother with a detail like that.
With her cheeks flushed and her brown eyes wide, it took all of my restraint not to kiss her right then and there.
“Hey,” I said after a weighted moment of silence.
Holly stared at me, her tongue darting out and swiping across her bottom lip, sending a jolt of blood straight to my already swollen cock. I didn’t even want to contemplate what it meant that nothing more than the thought of seeing Holly had me hard on the drive over here. She made me feel like a young kid who had no control. I supposed when it came to her, I didn’t. My eyes flicked down—because they were greedy and needed to absorb the sight of her. Her nipples were taut, visible through her thin cotton T-shirt.
The rest of her lush body was hidden, but my mind filled in the blanks. I knew the soft give of her flesh when my hands were gripping her hips and now knew she had freckles scattered here and there, all over her.
That was something I’d gotten to learn about her a few nights ago. She had a dusting of freckles across her nose and cheeks, but I hadn’t known she had random freckles sprinkled over her body, a map of constellations for me to explore. Because I needed, fucking needed, to know every inch of her.
“Hi,” she belatedly said. “What are you doing here?”
Fair question. I didn’t even think, my answer just came out. “I just got back. I wanted to see you.” A gust of cold wind cut across the landing outside her kitchen, blowing through her door. Her shiver was visible. “Can I come in?”
“Oh, of course.” She stepped back, opening the door wider to let me through. Her scent drifted up to me—sweet and sharp, just like her.
Closing the door behind us, she turned, staying right where she was beside the door. Crossing her arms, she asked, “How was your trip?”
“Fine.”
Words, emotions, and need
jostled for space inside my brain. Need won out. I couldn’t even manage polite conversation.
The air felt electric around us. Maybe a foot separated us, and the need to touch her beat inside me like a drum. I didn’t want to talk. My common sense tried to speak up, but it was washed away in the current of raw lust. I reached out, catching one of her hands in mine.
If she had hesitated, even a little, I’m sure I would’ve been sensible. But she didn’t. Her hand curled into mine as her arms fell away, and I stepped closer. I could see the wild flutter of her pulse in her neck.
Stepping closer, I released her hand to brush her hair away from her face, my fingers sliding through her silky hair and down her spine to cup the lush curve of her ass. She came flush against me, her breath hissing through her teeth on a gasp.
“What are you doing, Nate?”
“I missed you,” I murmured, my lips dusting across her cheek. I nipped at her ear, savoring the subtle ripple that ran through her and the feel of her skin pebbling under my lips.
She gasped when my teeth grazed the soft skin on her neck. I could practically feel the thoughts bouncing around in her brain. Then, I felt when she stopped thinking. I dragged my tongue along her neck, relishing the feel of her nipples tight against my chest through the thin fabric of her T-shirt and mine. When I made my way up to claim her lips, she sighed, her entire body relaxing.
Our kiss was a sizzling point of contact, like lightning striking dry grass. The fire was instantaneous. Our kiss went wild—her tongue tangling with mine as a low rumble ran through her. I held her fast against me, palming her ass and rocking my arousal into the cradle of her hips.
Holly had all but built a fucking house in my thoughts. I hadn’t thought through what it would feel like to be with her again. I was too caught up in nothing but instinct and sensation for this to be anything other than that—pure, raw, and elemental. Holly called to every fiber of me. The sense of relief that rolled through me at feeling the depth of her response was intense and only fed the fire threatening to engulf us.