by J. H. Croix
Now, I was here because I figured Maisie could give me answers, specifically Nate’s estimated time of arrival. Maisie took a phone call while I pushed away from the counter surrounding her and paced in front of the windows with my arms tightly crossed.
I heard her saying goodbye to whomever was on the call. After a few beats of quiet, she caught my eye on one of my pacing cycles. “You know, I think maybe you need to take a nice long look at how you’re feeling,” she called over.
Turning in my loop, I detoured back to where she sat at her desk. “Look at what?”
She rolled her eyes and shook her head slowly. Maisie took adorable to new levels with her curly brown hair, round cheeks, wide brown eyes, and freckles. She was funny and blunt, which I usually appreciated. She and I had that in common. Right now, I was wishing she would be a bit more clear.
“What do you mean?”
“You’re in love with Nate and now you need to deal with it,” she replied promptly, making me curse her bluntness.
“You don’t know that,” I retorted, defensiveness rising inside.
Undeterred, Maisie rolled her eyes again. “Yes, I do. I know it when I see it. It’s like porn.”
“Love is like porn?”
“Oh my God.” She took her headphones off and buried her face in her hands. When she looked up, she shook her head again.
“I didn’t mean love was like porn. Remember that whole Supreme Court case where the justice said, ‘I know it when I see it’?”
“Um, I think so,” I replied, my memory nudged enough that I had a vague idea what she meant.
“One of the justices was referring to how he knew when something met the threshold for obscenity,” Maisie explained. When I cocked my head in question, because honestly, I didn’t know how she had this buried in her memory bank, she added, “I once thought I wanted to go to law school but then I changed my mind. Anyway, we’re off on a tangent, and it’s totally my fault. I’m just saying it’s pretty obvious to me you love Nate.”
My heart was beating so hard, it actually hurt. I figured, at this rate, I would have bruises inside my chest. My stomach was spinning in flips, a mixture of anxiety, worry, and fear.
The moment Maisie said the word love out loud, my pulse had taken off at a gallop. I hadn’t even allowed that word to pass through my mind when it came to Nate. It was a forbidden word. I wasn’t permitted to let myself think that.
It was complicated enough that I was having sex with him, that I lost my virginity to him, and that I couldn’t stop thinking about him. The other night, when I saw that woman trying to flirt with him, illuminated the entire mess. Just thinking about it sent another hot flash of anger and embarrassment through me. I didn’t like to think of myself as the kind of woman who got jealous. I liked to think I knew better when it came to getting involved with a man who’d done nothing to show he was interested in anything serious. But my body and my heart didn’t seem to be listening to my intellect.
“You think so? Really?” I asked, almost desperate for Maisie to reconsider.
Maisie nodded slowly, her eyes softening as she looked at me. “This part sucks. It totally sucks.”
“How would you know? Beck is so in love with you, it’s almost ridiculous. You two are still all gaga for each other, and that’s with two kids.”
Maisie burst out laughing. “We fight. Plenty. Trust me. I don’t think you really knew me when I first moved here, but I was kind of bitchy. I didn’t exactly fall in Beck’s arms.”
A disbelieving laugh escaped. “Really?”
* * *
I could kind of see it now that she mentioned it. Maisie had a sharp edge to her, and she was blunt and sarcastic. I knew her childhood hadn’t been all that great. Yet, I hadn’t gotten to know her until after she and Beck were already together. I’d gotten closer to her after Ella moved back to Willow Brook and started having me tag along to card nights.
Taking a deep breath and willing my heart to stop pounding so hard, I eyed her. “What should I do?” I asked. I loved answers. That’s why I’d been such a good student. I graduated at the top of my high school class, my college class, and my nursing school class. I loved knowing the answers because it made me feel like life made sense. I didn’t appreciate the mess of emotions and uncertainty I was currently experiencing. Not one bit.
My heart was acting crazy, and I couldn’t stop thinking about Nate last night. I hardly slept at all because I’d been worried about him. Even though the idea of him being shacked up in a snowstorm at an empty wilderness lodge with a woman made my stomach turn, I didn’t like the idea of him being alone either.
“The obvious answer is you need to talk to him,” Maisie said, her tone gentle.
Emotion twisted inside again, my heart thumping erratically. Just the idea of trying to be open about my feelings terrified me. If Nate never knew how I felt, then I wouldn’t have to experience rejection. We could somehow patch up our friendship, and I’d learn how to move on.
When I didn’t respond, Maisie picked up the thread. “No matter what’s going to happen between you two, it’s already messy. You can’t go back to just being friends. The way I see it, you need to just push through this. It’s like walking through fire.”
“Walking through fire?” I felt like I was on repeat with everything she said.
Maisie cocked her head to the side. “Not literally, but maybe emotionally. Just tell him how you feel and figure it out from there.”
My heart kept up its wild beat. At that moment, the station phone rang. She snagged her headset and quickly answered.
“Oh. Is he okay?” She was quiet for a moment, listening to whatever was being said on the other end of the call. I had no idea who she was talking about. Her eyes flicked up to me, concern contained there.
“What?” I demanded.
Maisie held a finger up, jotting something down on a notepad before she ended the call. Looking up to me, her gaze was carefully unreadable. “Nate’s fine. He’s out at the small airport on the far side of town. A pair of seagulls got sucked into one of the engines, so it made for a rough landing. He’s fine, totally fine. That was Rex, calling to let me know they were just calling it in now because he was down the road and saw it.”
I didn’t even bother to reply. The word fine was ringing through my head as I ran out the door and jumped in my car.
But I didn’t miss the hint of a smile on Maisie’s face as I left.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Holly
Willow Brook’s airport, if you could call it that, was on the outskirts of town past the hospital. There were a few plane hangars there and a small runway with nothing more. I’d been here before with Alex, although I never thought much about the fact it was definitely Nate’s territory. He owned two of the hangars here.
The road shifted from pavement to gravel when I turned off on the side road that led down to the airport. Although the road was plowed, as I came around the corner, my car skidded slightly on the slick surface. My heartbeat, already racing, sped slightly. I eased off the gas and turned into the slide. Fortunately, I’d been driving on winter roads ever since I’d known how to drive. With little trouble, I was able to get my car back under control.
When the runway came into view, I saw the whopping total of two police cars from Willow Brook there, along with an emergency vehicle. Only then did I recall Maisie had mentioned Rex had been close enough to see Nate’s landing. I hadn’t given her a chance to say anything else.
Slamming my car door, I hurried across the parking lot out toward the runway, my eyes scanning for Nate. Although Maisie had clearly told me he was perfectly fine, it didn’t ease my worry. The plane sat at an angle on the runway, slightly tilted. It looked as if one of its wheels had been damaged in the landing.
My eyes finally caught sight of Nate with his hand resting on the nose of the plane, talking to Rex Masters, Willow Brook’s police chief and Ella’s father. I didn’t even absorb who else was present,
breaking into a run the moment I saw Nate.
With my heart in my throat, I was running and then I was falling, my foot catching on a rock. The snow flanking the runway was slick enough that it was almost like ice. Runways in rural Alaska weren’t quite what most people considered when they thought of runways. They were rarely paved, and while they might be maintained, landing on gravel and packed snow was a necessary part of life for wilderness pilots. Willow Brook kept the runway salted and sanded, but everything around it was left alone.
I crashed against the frozen ground with a grunt. Pain shot from my hip and radiated through my legs. Frozen ground was completely unforgiving. There wasn’t even a little bit of cushion to it.
I lost my breath and tears pricked at my eyes for a moment. The pain was sharp. Ignoring it, I started to scramble up. Of course, my clumsy approach had drawn every eye toward me. When I looked up, I saw Nate jogging over, slowing as he crossed over from the sanded and salted runway onto the icy ground.
“Hey, are you okay?” he called.
Seeing as I still hadn’t caught my breath, he was at my side before I could answer. Kneeling down, his dark chocolate gaze coasted over me. The moment his eyes met mine, all the emotions I’d been holding at bay for what felt like weeks now burst forth, like a wave crashing onto the sand. Tears rolled down my cheeks as I nodded.
The concern in his gaze deepened. “Are you sure?”
I nodded again, and he started to pull me into his arms when another pair of boots came into my line of sight.
Glancing up, I saw Rex had followed Nate over, along with Caleb. Seeing as Rex was practically a father to me, with Ella as my best friend growing up, I couldn’t just ignore him. Of course, Caleb would want to see what was going on too. I didn’t quite want to deal with a crowd though. I felt raw, exposed, and vulnerable. I was also cold and the pain was setting in my hip. While the sharpness faded, a dull, throbbing ache settled there.
“You sure you’re okay?” Rex asked.
Nate glanced up. “We need a minute,” he said quickly.
Caleb caught my eyes. Quick to read the room, so to speak, he simply nodded and turned away, nudging Rex when he started to ask another question. Rex’s piercing gaze bounced between Nate and me before awareness appeared to click into place. He nodded and turned with Caleb. They walked back toward the plane together.
When they were out of earshot again, Nate’s hand slid down my arm, resting at the crook of my elbow. I was sitting in a not-so-elegant position on the packed snow, with one knee bent awkwardly and my other leg splayed on the ground. “I’m fine,” I murmured as a tear escaped.
“Okay. I called you earlier, did you get my message?” he asked.
Staring into his eyes, I felt another tear roll down my cheek, cool against my skin. Emotion was rushing through me. Falling on my ass about summed up how I felt inside. I hadn’t thought through any of this. Pure emotion had driven me here, and now Nate was here, perfectly fine. Just as Maisie told me.
Although we didn’t say a word, it felt as if we communicated somehow. For a long moment, we just looked at each other, and then Nate leaned forward, pressing his lips to my cheek and dusting a few kisses on the way to my mouth. He lingered there briefly, the point of contact a searing heat in contrast to the cold surrounding us.
The moment was brief, but so intense my heart was pounding wildly in my chest by the time he drew away.
“I think we probably need to talk,” he said, his voice gruff. “But…”
“I think I love you,” I blurted out. The words simply flew out of my mouth.
He stared at me, just long enough to make me wish I could snatch those words back. Me and my big mouth. This most definitely wasn’t the first time my words had gotten ahead of my brain.
His eyes blazed fiercely. “Well, that’s good. Because I don’t think I love you. I know I do.”
That sent me into a bout of full-on crying.
At that point, Dana, one of the EMTs, came jogging over, likely thinking I injured myself in the fall and my crying had something to do with it. “Are you okay?” she called as she hurried over.
I gulped in a few shaky breaths and sniffled, dragging the sleeve of my jacket across my nose.
“We’re kind of stuck with the audience. I’ve got to take care of some official things because one of my engines got knocked out. Unfortunately, I can’t just walk away right now,” Nate said, his voice low.
“I know.” I started to clamber to my feet only to slip again in the process. “Ouch,” I muttered, landing on the same hip. My poor hip. Catching Nate’s gaze, I shook my head. “I might have a fat ass, but landing on the side hurts.”
“I happen to love that ass,” he replied with a grin just as Dana reached us.
“I’m fine, I swear,” I said, glancing up into her concerned gaze. It was a relief, in a way, to have this fuss around me. I was spinning on the currents of my emotions, overwhelmed and raw inside. It helped to have something other than Nate to focus on.
Dana glanced between Nate and me. If she picked up on anything, she didn’t say so. “You sure?” she asked as Nate helped me up.
“I am. I’m sure I’m gonna have a nasty bruise on my hip, but otherwise, I’m fine.”
I stepped gingerly, feeling the pain shoot out from my hip. I was a bit gimpy, but I walked alongside them toward Nate’s plane.
“You gonna hang around?” Nate asked as Dana veered off towards the emergency vehicle.
“Uh huh. I don’t even see your truck here,” I said, looking around.
“Caleb dropped me off yesterday. I scheduled an oil change while I was gone, so he’s here to pick me up. I’m guessing I can ride with you, though,” he said, barely a hint of a question in his tone.
“Of course.”
“You sure?”
“I’m not going anywhere,” I said firmly, feeling my usual spark return in the midst of the emotional storm.
He chuckled, sliding his hand down my back as Rex approached us again. “Why is the ambulance here?” I asked.
“Because they were right down the road at the hospital when I got the call from air traffic control. We knew he was fine. But it was a two-minute drive, so they came, just in case,” Rex explained. He looked to Nate. “Let’s do the official paperwork.”
Rex and Nate conferred while Rex entered everything into a computer tablet and took a few photos of the plane. While I waited on the back bumper of the ambulance, shivering slightly from the cold, Caleb walked over and stopped in front of me.
“I hear my taxi services aren’t needed,” he said with a grin.
I couldn’t help but smile in return. “I’ll take Nate home.”
Caleb looked at me for a long moment, his gaze sobering. “About damn time.”
“Huh?”
“You and Nate.”
Chapter Thirty
Nate
By the time I wrapped everything up with the plane, it was getting late. Rex hurried things along, but it had been mid-afternoon when I landed as it was. The ambulance was gone, my brother had left, and it was just Rex, Holly, and me as the sun was dipping down the horizon. Holly had stubbornly insisted on waiting outside, but I could tell she was cold when Rex and I finally finished.
She was shivering in her bright blue down jacket. She stood there in her jeans and boots, her eyes on me as I walked over.
“I could’ve taken him home, you know,” Rex offered with a sly grin.
Holly was unperturbed and simply narrowed her eyes. “Not necessary. That’s why I’m here.”
Rex chuckled, slapping me on the shoulder as he walked by to climb into his patrol car. Then, it was just Holly and me standing alone, the sound of Rex’s car fading in the distance as he drove away.
My plane was in the hangar, and Holly’s car waited in the parking area on the far side of the runway. I stopped in front of her, sliding my hands into her pockets where she had hers tucked. “You’re cold,” I said as I stepped closer to her.<
br />
Her hands were chilly as I curled mine over hers. I’d never thought much about pockets, but just now, I was thinking it was damn awesome that her jacket had large pockets, roomy enough for my hands to fit around hers.
“A little,” she replied. “You ready?”
“Absolutely.”
I couldn’t help it, I had to kiss her. Her cheeks were flushed and her eyes were bright in the gloaming. The smattering of freckles across her nose and cheeks stood out. Bending low, I brought my lips to hers, just brushing across them. Her lips were warm, and a zing of electricity passed between us. I smiled against her mouth because I couldn’t help it. I was so damn relieved and so damn happy. I felt her smile in response.
“What?” she murmured, the motion of her lips against mine like flint striking against my desire. Holly was too much. All she had to do was be near me and lust owned my body.
“Just glad you’re here.” I swept my tongue across the seam of her lips, a low groan escaping.
The warm sweetness of her mouth invited me in. As was always the case, the moment I kissed Holly, it got hot. Fast. Her tongue slid sensually against mine and she stepped closer. Freeing one of her hands from her pockets, she pulled me hard against her, letting out another gasp when I tore my lips free, blazing a trail down her neck, needing to taste the salty sweetness of her skin.
A gust of wind blew, cold and harsh, and her skin pebbled under my lips. Lifting my head, I looked at her and my cock swelled. Her lips were pink and swollen from our kiss and her breath came in little pants, misting the air between us.
“Let’s go,” I said, my voice rough with emotion and desire.
Curling one of my hands around hers, I turned, not wanting to move away from her, not at all, but we needed to get somewhere warm. We walked across the runway toward her car, the sky above us stained pink with darkness coming to claim the day. The mountains in the distance were dark outlines, with a few stars glittering in the early evening. Another gust of winter wind blew across the runway, sending the ends of Holly’s hair into a swirl, the blonde bright in the fading light.