by Anna Hard
I pushed out my bottom lip and blew some air up toward my face, hoping to cool my skin. Once again, it seemed I hadn’t outgrown those physical feelings I’d had to combat that summer, that crazy BLT summer. Beck still stirred me, in that sense at least. But knowing how much he disliked me helped put things back into perspective. We were two people never meant to be near each other. I would never know what it was like to be in Beck’s arms, and that was for the best.
“I say, after this, we head out to the veranda for some sun.” Hailey’s suggestion popped me out of my reverie.
I dragged my gaze away from Beck. “That sounds good. I’m still too pale for my dress.”
I was still grasping the bar for support. Hailey managed to keep her much more impressive pace while pulling her phone from the hidden pocket on her running shorts. “Oh, I’ve got to answer this.” She slowed the machine, hopped off and walked out of the room.
Suddenly, I was standing alone in the gym with my nemesis, an antagonist who attracted me as much as he repelled me. The loud music drummed down from the surround sound, drowning out the sound of his grunts as he worked the heavy bag. I was thankful for that. Something told me, hearing him groan with the pain of hard work would only increase the flush I was feeling from watching him in action.
I tried desperately to occupy my thoughts and my focus with other things in the room. But it was a room full of mirrors. Everywhere I looked, Beck showed up as the focal point. His hair was extra black, soaked as it was with sweat. He finally slowed his assault on the bag. His hands had been wrapped tightly, and he unwound the white tape. The muscles in his arms bulged with the blood coursing through them.
He leaned down to pick his towel up off the floor. My nervous gaze flew toward the door. Hailey still hadn’t returned. He pressed the towel against his face and then curled his steel arm up to rub his hair vigorously with the same towel. What the hell was it about an intimidating-looking man that made him so damn appealing? It was really contradictory to everything that was rational. Wanting a man who could crush you, hold you, command you to bend to his will, all of it was so damn erotic. I hated that I felt that way, but I did.
He turned around, and my sensual musings quieted. Beck’s green eyes focused on me at first. He glanced around, I could only assume, to look for his sister. Then, before I could figure out how to jump from the machine and run, he walked over. He stood looking up at me, and I pretended to concentrate on the numbers in front of me.
“Where’s Hailey?”
“Went out to take a phone call.”
He continued to watch me. It was not helping my stride.
“Well, I think I’ve had enough.” I started pressing numbers hoping to slow the machine so that I could make a quick exit. Instead, the motor whirred louder and my feet had to run to keep up with the rubber conveyor belt. The speed increased, and I my lost grip on the bar. I screamed as I went rushing quickly backward. I was hurled off. I shut my eyes waiting to absorb the pain of landing on the tile floor. My body thudded against something hard, but it wasn’t ceramic tile. I peeled open my eyes. Beck’s massive arms cradled me as I fell against his hard, sweaty chest.
I peered up at him, feeling like a clown.
“That’s one way to leave a treadmill, Ducky. Most people just turn it off.”
My face heated, and I wriggled my body to get out of his arms.
“If you don’t mind, could you please lower my feet to the ground.” I writhed in his giant arms.
“I’m thinking about it, but I’m kind of enjoying have you squirm against me like that.” He grinned and let my legs drop to the floor. Once my feet made contact with tile, I made a beeline for the door. My workout was over. Damn if his arms hadn’t felt just as amazing as I’d imagined.
Chapter 9
Beck
Hailey and Jessa were stretched out on chaise lounges on the veranda. Jessa was wearing a tiny pale pink bikini, a color that was now going to be etched in my mind forever. She lifted her foot to the lounge, bringing her long, smooth thigh into perfect view from the screen door.
We’d spent only a few seconds total in each other’s presence. But with each meeting, the tension between us grew hotter. I wasn’t just imagining it. It was entirely possible that it was all one-sided and that I was the only one feeling the hurricane of electrical charges that snapped between us, but the look on her face when she’d landed in my arms had been more than just shock. And, as badly as she’d wanted me to put her down, I’d wanted to keep her there, in my arms, pressed against me.
I’d been spending the entire time trying to keep away from her, but we’d managed to stumble into each other’s paths anyway. The night before I’d been drunk off my ass, the whole fucking night a blur once the whiskey had seeped into my bloodstream. Tracy and Cheryl had dumped me off at the house. I’d barely said one word to either of them all night, keeping mostly to myself and my bottle. But I remembered every damn second of standing in the shadowy hallway outside of Jessa’s room. The booze coupled with the frustration I felt at having her so close and yet knowing that she was off-limits had made me lash out angrily. Even in the darkness, I could see she was hurt. Hurt and confused. Just like me.
But I was done making myself nuts. So much of the wall between us had been constructed by my own tortured memories, I’d decided, for sanity sake, to ignore those angry, guilt riddled voices and enjoy the next few days.
I walked out onto the veranda with my sandwich. No damn reason to stay cooped up when it was so fucking beautiful outside. Jessa stretched her thin arms up and over the back of the lounge, pushing her delectable tits even higher into view. Fucking beautiful was right.
I pulled my gaze away and stared out at the beach. The sun glanced off the crystal blue water in the cove. The surface rippled with small froth-tipped curls. A mass of seagulls floated together near the rocks, waiting for crabs and tiny fish to get caught up in the tide pools.
I yanked out one of the chairs at the outdoor table, startling both girls out of their conversation. Both of them peered over the tops of the lounges. Jessa had on black sunglasses. She twisted her bottom lip before turning back around.
“Why are you lurking?” Hailey asked sharply.
“I’m not lurking. Just came out to eat my sandwich and enjoy the view.”
Jessa dropped her leg and shrank down some on the lounge. She’d obviously caught my extra emphasis on the word view. She was one of those girls who knew she was gorgeous. No fucking way she couldn’t know it. But she was far better at ignoring her beauty than flaunting it. Sometimes, it seemed she would rather not have been such a heartbreaker. I’d always thought it would have been much easier on me, but the more I got to know her, I realized that the incredible exterior was nothing compared to the girl inside. Without the personality to go with the perfect package, I would have lost interest and moved on to another pretty face long ago. But I hadn’t. I knew that now. I had never stopped thinking of her, and that was clearer than ever now.
“Oh my gosh—” Hailey squealed. A hundred thousand dollar law degree, and my sister still talked like a frilly teenager. But it seemed to come out more when she was with Jessa, her sister. “I forgot to tell you, Cody is coming to the graduation after all,” Hailey said excitedly.
Black sunglasses certainly came in handy. I’d pulled the chair at just the right angle to be able to discretely watch Jessa as I chowed down on my ham sandwich.
She turned her face to Hailey. Her skin glowed with suntan lotion and her own natural sparkle. “Cody? I thought you broke up with him.”
Hailey shrugged. “We’ve been on again, off again forever. We finally both realized that we couldn’t find someone we liked better, so we’re back on.”
“So, what you’re saying is you’re settling for him,” I said over a mouthful of sandwich.
Hailey huff
ed, something she’d always been skilled at, as she turned around. “I thought you weren’t lurking.”
“I’m not. Just voicing an observation, is all. And by your reaction, I’d say it was spot on.”
A bottle of water flew in an arc from the lounge. I grabbed it before it hit me. “Thanks. I forgot my drink.”
Hailey was another source of my pain. She’d never forgive me if Jessa and I got together. Even though we weren’t related to Jessa at all, not even by law anymore, both Hailey and my dad’s extreme sense of propriety would consider it wrong. They’d both conjured the idea of it being fucking taboo even if there was nothing to make it so. It was really just an excuse. Neither of them trusted me.
Hailey peeked around the side of the lounge. “Hey, Butthead, are you going to the bonfire down by the pier tonight?”
“Thinking about it,” I said. “Why?”
“Just wondering. Jessa and I were thinking of going.”
“What about the Dawson’s Creek marathon?” Jessa asked. She’d heard I might be going, and suddenly, the bonfire didn’t sound all that inviting.
“We can watch that tomorrow. It’ll be fun. But if you don’t want to go, that’s fine.”
Jessa sat up. “It’s hot. Do you want to take a swim?”
“Nah, just washed my hair,” Hailey said. “But you go ahead.”
I leaned back and stretched my legs out in front of me, watching from behind my black lenses. Jessa stood. Her glittering brown eyes shot my direction for a brief second. She knew damn well I was watching her, and I was making it clear. All year I had to be disciplined, to keep the upper edge of my sport I had to deny myself things I craved. Right now, I wanted to look at Jessa and fuck discipline. Fuck what was right and wrong. I was going to watch her long legs and perfectly shaped ass as she strolled to the water.
She picked up a towel and wrapped it around her waist.
“Now, where’s the fun in that?” I asked. Aside from the pink blush in her cheeks, Jessa ignored me.
Hailey peered around the lounge. “Pervert.”
“And fucking proud of it,” I shot back.
Even wrapped in a towel, Jessa’s body was hot as she made her way to the water.
Hailey sat up. “I’ve got to go in and check my email. Keep an eye on her, would you?”
I raised a brow at my sister.
She rolled her eyes. “You know what I mean. God, you’re so damn predictable.” She hurried past me and into the house.
From the veranda, it was nearly impossible to watch anyone in the water. The shore dropped off several feet. I could only see the top of Jessa’s head. I got up and headed down to the shore. Jessa pushed off the bottom and floated on her back in the calm water. She hadn’t noticed me walk up. I sat down to watch. Her bikini clad body stayed just enough above the surface to show every sexy curve and hollow. She moved her arms slowly through the water to keep afloat.
I was tired of thinking back to that summer. I’d spent so much time after that day overanalyzing the whole damn thing. I needed to wash it from my mind. I needed to let Jessa know how I felt about her. Even though it would never come to anything, it seemed that it might ease the agony some by confessing. But for now, I just wanted to be near her.
I reached back and pulled my shirt off. She hadn’t stopped floating. I coasted into the water and dove under. I swam beneath her, barely grazing her back with my fingers as I swam past. Above the surface, I heard a scream and bubbles floated up around me as she pushed her feet to the ground.
I popped my head above water and laughed.
“Beck!” She splashed the cold salt water into my face. “You ass. I thought you were a sea monster.” She pressed her hand to her chest. “I think my heart is going to jump out of my chest it’s beating so fast.”
I was still smiling. “Sorry, Ducky.” I swam right up to her. Her long lashes were clumped together with moisture and the salty water beaded on her plump bottom lip. I badly wanted to drag my tongue across it and taste the salt. She was still holding her hand to her chest.
I wasn’t sure what prompted me to do it, except that I badly wanted to touch her. I took hold of her wrist and brought her palm to my mouth. Her brown eyes watched as I pressed a second kiss against her wrist. I’d never touched her with any real intimacy. I’d imagined it so many fucking times, it seemed that we’d been lovers since the beginning of time. But I’d never done anything like this. She didn’t pull her hand away. I knew she wouldn’t. Everything about me pressing my mouth to her skin seemed right, inevitable even. Just as everything about it seemed wrong.
I released her wrist. Her breasts heaved with a long, deep breath.
“I’m sorry about what I said to you last night.”
Her long wet lashes fluttered down as if she didn’t want to be reminded of my harsh words.
“I was drunk,” I said.
A smiled kicked up on her lush lips. She lifted her gaze. “You were really drunk. Just so you know, Beck, it was just as hard for me to come to Grady’s Cove as it is for you to have me here.”
I stared down at her thinking how small and wet and vulnerable she looked. Like she had that day, that shitty ass day when we’d almost lost her.
“Just wanted you to know that.” Her voice was nearly drowned out by the tide crashing against the shore.
“Yeah. I know.”
Hailey whistled from the sand, breaking the solid moment between us. For a second, that connection that we had with each other, a connection I’d never felt with anyone else except Jessa, had felt strong again. My sister waded into the water. I pulled reluctantly away from the girl who still owned my heart, just like she had seven years ago.
Chapter 10
Beck
The night air felt good as I rode my bike onto the bridge that spanned the harbor. From the cove, the pier was a long, straight walk along the sand. On the streets, the journey was more complicated.
I’d spent half the day working out and the other half sleeping. It felt good to have nothing to do, and best of all, Dad had been too busy with work to hound me with questions. I had a contest Monday night about an hour away that I’d tried to get out of. I knew neither Dad nor Hailey would appreciate me going to the graduation ceremony with a swollen face and knuckles, but my manager was pissed. So I didn’t cancel. Now, stupidly, I was heading to a beach bonfire where I’d be seriously bored making small talk with people I hardly knew anymore. Not being able to drink was going to make it that much worse. As much as I wanted to deny it, I was going there for one reason— to be near Jessa. Even if I was just lurking in the damn shadows, I’d be near her. Fuck, when had I become a stalker?
Jessa and Hailey had left the house an hour before when I was still trying to convince myself not to go. But as Jessa walked out the door in her skin tight jeans, pale blue sweater and hair swept up in a ponytail, every cell in my body reacted. I didn’t have much time to be around her. She’d only be in my life a short while again, and I didn’t want to miss that time. I owed myself that at least.
A large group of people were already huddled around the wavering flames, cradling beer cans in their hands and talking bullshit. The thin cloud of smoke hovering above their heads looked eerie under the moonlight.
Faces turned my direction as I walked up. “Grady, you made it,” someone called from the circle. Tracy sashayed over with a beer and a smile.
“No thanks,” I said.
She frowned in disappointment and walked away. Trevor and Grant, two guys I’d hung around with a lot in high school, mostly because we were always in detention together, waved me over. I walked to that side of the circle, all the while scanning the faces for Hailey and Jessa. My sister was standing with a few of her old high school friends, talking excitedly about something, as usual. Hailey was always smiling, always loving li
fe and I’d always envied her for that. I worried that life as a lawyer might eventually erase that carefree, happy personality, but it was what she wanted to do. So far, it hadn’t changed her one bit.
“Dude, how’s the fighting life?” Trevor asked, holding up his beer and looking pointedly at my empty hand. “Guess you’re in training. Shit, got to hand it you, Grady, you’ve got discipline. Must be hard to give up everything that’s fun in life.”
I listened with only half-interest. My eyes went around the circle again. No Jessa.
Trevor clapped me on the shoulder. “So, is it hard?”
I looked at him, realizing I hadn’t heard most of what he’d said. “Is what hard?”
“Giving up booze and pot and women.” He laughed. “Shit, you might as well have joined the damn monkhood. Guess we all knew you weren’t going to head to college or get a real job anytime soon. Maybe monkhood would have worked for ya.”
Grant had a good laugh over that comment, and I wondered how I’d been able to stand those two at all. “Beckett Grady and monkhood, shit if that isn’t the biggest fucking contradiction in the world.”
I nodded. “That it is, but I haven’t given up any of those things. And I’ve probably fucked more women in the last month than you two boneheads have fucked in your entire lives.” I leaned in. “And that includes your wet dreams.” I walked away and headed for Hailey.
Halfway there, Kiley intercepted me. Beer sloshed over the side of her cup as she pressed against me. Her lids looked heavy with drink. “Beck, we hardly got a chance to talk at my party.” She leaned back, and I grabbed her arm to keep her from swaying backward. Her eyes drifted down over me. “God, you are still the most gorgeous man in the world.” When she lifted her face, she lost her balance again.