by Chloe Walsh
“I’m so fucking tangled up in her, dude,” I choked out as I let Ezra help me up the staircase. “The thought of her makes it hard to breathe.”
“I’m not even going to pretend that I have a clue what to say, dude,” Ezra huffed as he carted me into the upstairs bathroom. “I’ve never been in love and from looking at your screwed up ass, I never want to be.” Flicking on the shower, Ezra turned to look at me. “Scrub that smell off yourself and for the love of god, shave. I’ll make breakfast.”
“I’m not hungry,” I muttered as I dragged my shirt over my head and tossed it on the floor.
“But you will be,” Ezra shot back with a smirk. Opening the bathroom door, he stepped into the hallway before calling over his shoulder, “Just hurry up and come downstairs, dude. I’ve got one hell of a birthday gift for you.”
DAD PULLED HIS BLACK SEDAN into the driveway of the McAllister’s home and killed the engine.
“Well, Mickey,” he muttered as we both sat staring up at their pebble dashed two-story. “This is it, sweetheart.”
“Yeah,” I replied with my hand frozen on the buckle of my seatbelt. “I guess so.” A mixture of fear and trepidation was coursing through my veins, playing havoc with my emotions, but I needed to do this.
I needed the closure.
Unfastening my seatbelt, I climbed out of the car and made my way up to the front door with my father hot on my heels. Just as I was about to knock on the door, it swung inwards and the familiar face of my mother greeted us.
“Hello Mitch,” she said in her soft voice. Her gaze flickered to me. Surprise was evident on her face though she masked it well. “Hello Mackenzie.” Stepping aside, my mother gestured for us to come inside. “Would you like to come inside?”
I shook my head. “I only need a minute of your time.”
“Okay,” Mom said cautiously.
“I wanted to tell you that even though you hurt me, and broke up our family, I don’t hold it against you.” My body was shaking, and I think my dad noticed it because he wrapped his arm me, pulling me into his side. “I don’t want a relationship with you,” I added, forcing the words from my throat. “I have all the parent I need in my dad.”
“So why did you come?” Mom spluttered, with tears in her eyes. “To hurt me and tell me what a bad mother I’ve been?”
“I came for closure,” I replied honestly, shaking my head. “And I came to wish you well with the rest of your life. I’m letting go of the pain of my past and of the people that hurt me. I’m moving forward with my life, Mom.”
When my mother didn’t reply, or make one move to respond, Dad turned us around and led us back to the car.
“I do love you,” my mother called out when my father and I were getting back into the car.
“Just not enough,” I shot back calmly as I climbed into the passenger seat. “Not enough by half.”
OUR NEXT STOP WAS THE HOSPITAL. To be honest I was more afraid of seeing Sharon than I had been my own mother, but having my father by my side gave me courage. I was slowly beginning to realize that Mitchell Moore was my number one ally in this crazy world.
We waited in the parking lot as my father sent a text message to Sharon, letting her know we were outside. “I’m not sure about this, Mickey,” my father confessed as he drummed his fingers against the steering wheel anxiously. “I have nothing to say to her.”
“It’s going to be okay, Dad,” I reassured him gently. I unbuckled my seatbelt and climbed out of the car and, reluctantly, Dad followed my lead.
Cade’s mother appeared at the entrance of the building. The minute she laid eyes on us she broke out in a run towards us.
“Oh god,” Sharon cried when she reached us. Throwing her arms around Dad, Sharon sobbed against his chest. “I’m sorry,” she choked out, clinging onto Dad’s shirt as if it was a lifeline. “I’m so sorry, Mitch.”
I watched as a torrent of emotions played out on my father’s face. Dad stood motionless as a statue, not reciprocating, but he was struggling to reign it all in.
I could tell.
“Hello Sharon,” I said loudly, breaking the moment between them.
Sniffling, Sharon turned her attention to me. “Mackenzie, I’m so sorry, honey,” she wept, wiping her cheeks with the back of her hand. “Are you okay?”
“Don’t pretend you care about my daughter,” my father snapped all of a sudden. Stepping away from his wife, Dad sneered, “A lifetime of apologies couldn’t make up for how you’ve treated her.”
“Dad.” I looked at my father and shook my head slightly. “Holding grudges never fixed anything,” I told him quietly.
“I wouldn’t blame you if you did hold a grudge against me,” Sharon blurted out, startling me. Her blue eyes were full of tears when she said, “Your father’s right, Kenzie – I treated you terribly.”
“I didn’t come here to make you feel bad,” I whispered, red-faced. “I came to let you know that I’m coming home.” Inhaling a deep, calming breath, I forced myself to be completely honest and say, “I’m in love with your son, Sharon. I always have been, and I am not letting him go – not for Emily, or you, or anyone else.”
I expected a fight.
I had been preparing myself the entire journey home for a war of words with Cade’s mother.
But what I did not expect was a hug.
Sharon moved so fast, wrapping her arms around me so tightly, that I didn’t have a chance to prepare myself.
“I won’t be bullied again, Sharon,” I told her, stepping out of her embrace, looking her directly in the eye. “No more games.”
“Cade has been a mess since you left…broken,” she told me through sobs. “I was wrong to try and keep you two apart. I understand that now.”
“I do get it, Sharon,” I offered, feeling a huge amount of sympathy for the woman in front of me. “Why you tried to keep us apart – your concerns.” In a sick way I understood why Sharon had treated me the way she had. Cade was her only child and Emily was pregnant. She was, in her own twisted way, trying to protect all of us from getting hurt. I didn’t tell Sharon about the fact that I was also carrying Cade’s baby because I wanted him to know first. Unlike Emily, I was putting my full faith in the boy I loved. “But you need to let Cade decide what he wants,” I told her. “And if what he wants is me, then you have to let us be.” “Believe me, I’ve learned my lesson,” she admitted in a torn voice. Sharon glanced at my father before turning her attention back to me. “I won’t get involved again,” she promised. “You have my word.”
WHEN I WAS SHOWERED, dressed, and had sobered up enough to begin nursing one hell of a hangover, I made my way downstairs.
The smell of bacon cooking greeted me when I reached the bottom step and my stomach growled in appreciation. It had been too long since I’d eaten a proper meal – so long that I couldn’t even remember.
“Thanks for this, man,” I called out to Ezra as I made my way into the kitchen. I stopped dead in the doorway when my eyes landed on the raven-haired girl sitting at my kitchen table. “Emily.” My heart sank into my ass. “What are you doing here?”
Ezra’s back was to us, as he turned pieces bacon on the skillet. “Trust me, dude,” he mused, placing the bacon on a plate. “You want to hear this.”
“I came to talk,” she replied. “To explain.”
“Are…are you okay?” I asked, wanting to do anything but talk to her. I ran a hand through my wet hair and sighed before reluctantly taking a seat opposite her. “Is the baby okay?” I tried not to think about the baby. Saying it out loud only made it more real… and that terrified the living hell out of me.
“Come on, Ems,” Ezra goaded when he placed the plate of bacon on the table in front of me. Dropping into the seat beside me, Ezra leaned his elbows on the table and smirked. “Fess up.”
“Fess up?” I shook my head in confusion. “What’s going on, guys?”
“I would rather do this without an audience,” Emily hissed, glaring a
t my best friend.
“And miss the big reveal?” Ezra snorted. “I don’t think so.”
“You’re heartless,” Emily spat with tears in her eyes. “This is between me and Cade.”
“I’m heartless?” Ezra scoffed, rolling his eyes dramatically. “That’s rich coming from a twisted, conceited, selfish bitch like you.”
“What the hell is going on here?” I demanded. I had a pain in my head from listening to the two of them go back and forth. “Tell me.”
“Tell him,” Ezra ordered. “Or I’ll do it for you.”
“I lied,” Emily roared, eyes locked on my best friend. “I made the whole thing up.” Folding her arms across her chest, Emily hissed, “Are you happy now?”
Ezra grinned. “Ecstatic.”
“Come again?” I had never felt more confused than I did right now.
“There’s no baby, Cade,” Emily sobbed, turning to face me. “I made it up.”
“No.” I shook my head, refusing to believe Emily could be so heartless. “You couldn’t have... I saw her.”
“You saw a sonogram of a baby that I printed off the Internet,” she confessed with tears streaming down her face. “I’m sorry.”
“What the fuck?” I couldn’t sit still a second longer. Shoving my chair back I jerked to my feet and began to pace the floor. “Why?” It was only one word, but I needed to know. “Goddammit, Emily, why would you do this?”
“Because I was afraid,” she screamed, climbing to her feet. “I had just lost my mom and my brother,” she exclaimed. “I couldn’t lose you too.”
“So you waited until you drove her away before growing a conscience?” I demanded with my heart hammering in my chest. “Who does that?”
“She didn’t grow a conscience,” Ezra, who I had forgotten was still here, piped up. “I caught her.”
“What?” I turned my attention to Ezra. “How?”
“He broke into my house last night,” Emily hissed venomously. “And stole my personal possessions. That’s how.”
“Don’t be so dramatic. Your father invited me into your house for some refreshment after cutting his lawn,” Ezra drawled before turning his attention to me. “And when I had the opportunity to use their upstairs bathroom, I had a little snoop in her bedroom,” he announced in an innocent tone, holding his hands up. “You can imagine my surprise when I found a container of birth control pills along with a journal in the drawer of her nightstand.” Ezra narrowed his eyes and glared at Emily. “A journal that exposed all of her dirty little secrets.”
“I was late – I didn’t lie about that, Cade,” Emily blurted out in a panicked tone. “I really did think I was pregnant when I told your mother…”
“But?” Ezra interjected, earning a growl from Emily.
“But when I finally did get my period, Mackenzie was back and you were drifting away from me. You were falling in love with her all over again and I couldn’t bear it.” Wiping her tears with her hands, Emily shivered when she said, “I thought that if we just spent some time together, we could get back to the way we used to be, before she came back.” Sobbing, Emily clenched her eyes shut when she said, “I guess I was hoping that I would get pregnant but you wouldn’t touch me. You pulled away. You closed yourself off and you pushed me away...”
“I don’t understand this,” I hissed, backing further away from her. “How could you do this to me?” I couldn’t comprehend this shit. “Do you hate me that much, Emily, that you would want to destroy me?”
“I did it because I love you that much,” she argued weakly.
“Let me get this straight,” I snarled, pacing the floor once again. “You pretend to be pregnant with my baby, wreck my relationship with Mackenzie, almost cost me her life, and then plot to trap me into getting you pregnant for real because you love me?” I shook my head in disgust. “You need to go,” I said coldly. I could feel my self-control slipping and if she didn’t get the hell away from me I was going to lose it. “Seriously, Emily, you need to get the hell out of here before I do something I regret.”
“I was afraid of losing you to her, Cade,” Emily cried when she reached the front door. “Everything I did… I did because I love you, and it turns out that I lost you anyway.”
“Well that was a turnout for the books,” Ezra mused when the sound of the front door slamming rang through the house.
“Did I dream this is up?” I asked, frozen to the spot. “Is this really happening?”
“Yep,” Ezra confirmed cheerily. “I’d say you owe me eighteen years of child support.”
I rolled my eyes and smirked. “I guess I owe you, huh?”
Ezra grinned. “And you can thank me by helping me and the guys kick Lincoln High’s ass tonight.”
“Tonight.” I shook my head. “Dude, I can’t.” Emily wasn’t pregnant. This changed everything. “I need to find Mackenzie.”
“No…” Ezra grabbed my shoulders and forced me to look at him. “You need to play in the game tonight,” he repeated sternly. “First we win, then we go get your girl.”
A knock sounded on the front door, cutting us off mid-conversation and causing me to stiffen, and Ezra to groan like he was in actual pain. “Goddamn that girl,” Ezra hissed. “When is she going to get the hint?”
He stalked into hallway, but I was there before him. “No,” I told him with my hand on the doorknob, barely keeping my temper under control. “I’ll deal with Emily.”
Swinging the door inwards, the sundry of insults I had on the tip of my tongue died the moment I laid eyes on her.
“Hello Cade.”
Mackenzie stood in my doorway, looking like some kind of ethereal angel, and I was speechless.
“I’m home,” she added, her tone nervous, as she wrapped her arms around her stomach protectively, and smiled. “For good.”
I stood still as a statue, praying I wasn’t dreaming, soaking in the image of her.
“You once asked me not to give up on you,” she added, green eyes wide and focused on my face. “You asked me to fight with you, Cade.” Shuffling nervously, Kenzie stepped forward and placed one hand on my chest. “Well, I’m ready to fight for you. I need to be with you.” Taking a tentative step closer, Kenzie blew my world to smithereens when she said, “I’m yours, if you still want me?”
I opened my mouth, but nothing came out.
I couldn’t verbalize my feelings.
I was choking in raw emotion.
All I could do was nod my head like a fucking tool – nod, and cover her hand with mine. The feel of her skin on mine was my undoing.
Love hurt. It burned and ached and could make a grown man like me beg for death, but she was here, offering me everything I had always wanted. It made all of the drama, and the pure fucking horror of heartbreak, completely worth it.
In the space of two minutes, Mackenzie had my head spinning, my heart squeezing, and my legs shaking. I was exactly where she had always wanted me to be – on my knees at her feet. I had to hold onto the doorframe to stop myself from falling. I couldn’t believe it. She was here. In the flesh. The girl next door had come back to me. And out of all the things I wanted to say to her, every thought and painful moment her absence had caused me, the only thing that came out of my mouth was, “You cut your hair,” followed lamely by, “Emily’s not pregnant. It was all a lie.”
Kenzie’s eye’s bulged. “You mean…”
“Yeah, baby,” I said in a gruff tone. “She lied to me, made the whole damn thing up, and almost cost me my future with you.”
“No,” Kenzie replied softly, shaking her head. “I was coming back to you either way. I just needed some time to figure that out by myself.”
“EMILY LIED about her pregnancy.”
It was more of a statement than a question – one I couldn’t quite comprehend. “Why would she do that?”
Cade ran a hand through his hair and let out a haggard sigh. “Because she a sick and twisted, manipulative bitch who wanted to keep us apart
, and was willing to use any means necessary to do it – including trapping me into being a father.”
“I’m sorry she did this to you,” I whispered.
Shaking his head, Cade pulled me into his arms and squeezed. “It’s not about what she did to me. It’s about what you’re doing me, ” he said in a gruff tone of voice. “You’re wrecking me, Mackenzie. I need you. It’s not enough to watch you from a distance. I need you with me. Nothing less will do. I will do whatever it takes,” he vowed. “I’m in this for the long haul. I’m not backing out, Kenz. I promise.”
Someone cleared their throat, and the sound caused me to jump.
“Uh, sorry for interrupting, folks,” Ezra, who had appeared out of nowhere, said with a cheesy smile etched on his face. “But I need to go home and get ready for the game, and while I would love to stay and listen to you two declaring your undying love for each other,” he drawled, “it’s kind of making me queasy.”
“Whatever, dude,” Cade chuckled. “You can let yourself out.”
Wrapping his hand around mine, Cade half dragged me inside his house and up the staircase.
“I haven’t been in this room since forever,” I whispered when I stepped inside Cade’s childhood bedroom. Memories flooded me, and with those memories came more and more love for the boy whose hand I was holding.
I would never get over him.
I knew that for sure.
“There’s no moving on from you, Kenzie.” Cade was trembling, shaking like an ivy leaf, as he led me over to his old twin bed and sat down.
“I have something to tell you,” I whispered, sitting down beside him.
He had to know.
And I had to know that his feelings for me wouldn’t change because of it…
“It’s like there’s something inside of me is stuck. A broken record in my head repeating you over and over again,” he continued to say, “you are all I see, all I hear… you are all I am, and all I will ever want.” Smiling, he added, “You’d think after all these years my body would calm the fuck down when you’re around, but no.” He raised my hand and pressed it against his chest. I could feel his heart hammering against his ribcage. “You still do that to me.”