by Pat Ritter
IF YOU NEED TO KNOW MORE ABOUT ME PLEASE CLICK ONTO MY WEBSITE www.patritter.com.au
My Life As A Politician
With the upcoming Federal election less than one month away I’m in full swing. My name’s Kevin Rudd. I’m Prime Minister of Australia and member of Australian Labour Party.
I love the Australian Labour Party whose roots sprung from ‘The Great Shearers Strike of 1891’when thousands of shearers in this country went on strike for improved working conditions and better wages.
Are you aware ‘The Great Shearers Strike of 1891’ is credited as being one of the factors for the formation of this powerful political party? The Tree of Knowledge; 200-year-old ghost gum in Barcaldine, Queensland, regarded as the birthplace of Australian Labour Party (ALP) because the town was the headquarters of the 1891 Australian Shearers Strike where policy and decisions were made.
I’m proud to be Prime Minister of Australia to serve at its highest level to make it the best in the world. Luck has been on my side to be Prime Minister of this country twice, once elected by the people in my campaign ‘Kevin in 07’ and recently selected by my parliamentary colleagues to again take the highest position.
This election will be fought on the economy. Is there sufficient money to efficiently operate? Yes – we do! Soon as I’m elected by the wonderful citizens of Australia I will increase taxes to cover costs.
Like our previous Prime Minister who promised not to include carbon tax if she was elected, broke her promise not soon after her installation as Prime Minister to include carbon tax. I promise you I will abolish carbon tax and rename it another tax but people of this country will be unaware as long as taxes paid and the economy improves.
I admit fault with helping Australians to ‘get back on their feet’ after global financial crisis struck showing most countries had insufficient funds to operate. I implemented ‘bats’ program, not those flying ones, the ‘bats’ in the ceiling of Australian homes to keep them cool in summer and warm in winter; something to do with the environment and global warming.
This project became a total disaster with the loss of four young Australians fatally injured, houses burnt to the ground. I take total responsibility and publically apologise to the parents of those boys who lost their lives and to the people who lost their homes.
Our indigenous people, I apologised on behalf of all Australians for reconciliation so all Australians can be one. Come to think about how our indigenous peoples were treated from first settlement in this great land, it’s a wonder they didn’t sue the government for the untold atrocities bestowed on them since settlement. Our debt would be much larger had they sued the government. I’m pleased they didn’t.
When elected, I promise to spend more money, increase our debt and make every Australian rich beyond their dreams. Vote for me – I’m Kevin Rudd!
Word count: 484
Natural Selection
I love cricket, not so much playing but watching the game played by professional players such as the present Australian cricket team.
Australia play the Poms for the coveted ‘Ashes Series’, which they’ve won back after a couple of losses. Australia’s gone through change over the past couple of years, by replacing their coach with an Australian. This time they should be right.
Natural selection for the team must be Captain Michael Clarke. His captaincy and leadership delivered our first win in the series in Brisbane. They should make two from two playing at Adelaide. We’ll need to wait and see.
From the pool of international players to choose from in Australia, the selection must be difficult who to play and who not to play. For instance, the team which won the previous game, should all of the same players be a natural selection. I think they should.
If anyone should be replaced should be some of the commentators. Listening to their comments after each ball, you’d think each were the greatest players of all time. I mute the sound when Mark Taylor comes on. Not only his voice goes through me like a packet of salts but everything he says I can’t believe how good he thinks he was as a cricketer. I miss the voice of the commentators before this latest batch. Their knowledge and experience gone forever.
How could you not forget the 70’s with Dennis Lillie at one end bowling so fast the batsman almost stepped out of the way? Than at the other end Geoffrey Thompson throwing down those thunderbolts creasing the hair of his opponents. They were the days when natural selection was a foregone conclusion.
To our present day cricketers, the amount of money each player’s paid. Unbelievable in the amount they earn. Yes, they do play all year round now with the latest ‘Big Bash’ series plus their duty to represent their country. On average an international cricketer earns almost one million dollars per year. Kerry Packer introduced ‘World Series Cricket’ to the nation back in the 80’s perhaps cricket wouldn’t be where it is today. Who knows?
Word count: 363
New Ology
I grew up during the fifties and sixties. Rock and roll became our era - developed minds had no knowledge about computers only crystal sets. In the mid sixties pocket transistors became the norm for young people if one could afford the cost.
Seventies and eighties developed huge computers which filled a large room to house the equipment. Never in our wildest dreams did it ever occur computers would be in every home in the world.
Along came the nineties when computers were almost in every home. We had one, 64 mg of memory designed for letter writing, recording files, no e-mail or internet.
From the beginning of the new century computers became the norm in work places, homes, banks and every other place of business. Actually when the time clicked over from the old century to the new century computer analyst thought the world would stop and fall into darkness.
I remember too well going to sleep on the final night of the previous century to awaken to a dawning of a new century to find nothing changed. Computers continued their lives and people got on with theirs.
Along came Bill Gates and Steven Jobs who between them took over the world of design with software for every computer in the world. Microsoft gave us tools to not only write, record, file but search and discover how computers in the home should work as good as the ones at our workplace.
Up until this point the internet spread around the world in an instant combined with the greatest search engine of all time Google. Then along came Facebook to connect people from one side of the globe to the other instantly.
What’s next? Mobile telephones, smart phones, I-pads, tablets, now do the same functions as a computer at home and fits into one’s hand, take photographs, upload and send to a thousand recipients by a push of a button.
I find this technology amazing. For instance, I write a book and within moments of finalising the book I upload it onto websites for publishing. Sales direct from these websites and I don’t need to worry about treading the publishing houses any longer.
Future books will contain music, videos, some writing, almost movie type by downloading the book on your devise will give the reader what they want, instant storyline.
Today’s technology presently available and within a decade will be as common as today’s ebook; great future to look forward to for our grandchildren and their children.
Word count: 422
One Damn Thing After Another
Friday afternoon appeared no different to any other Friday afternoon; only looked forward to the weekend for a break from work. Monday morning would commence with six weeks of intense study to achieve success with a Commissioned Officer Course; my goal to become a Commissioned Office before I turned forty-five years old.
My wife noticed something wrong because when I arrived home she told me I didn’t seem to be myself. My breathing heavy, ankles swelled more than normal. She persuaded me to visit a doctor. I’d never been sick before. I agreed to her wishes.
How much was I to tell the doctor, I didn’t feel I was dying or immediately anyway. When he asked me my problem I told him of the sh
ortest of breathe and my ankles swelling. After I lifted my shirt, he placed a stethoscope around the region of my heart, his face turned a shade of pale, ‘I can’t find your heart beat’ he proclaimed in astonishment.
The doctor’s words astonished me. After he performed an ECG, his words tore through me like a packet of salts, ‘you’re to go immediately to the hospital, don’t drive.’
My wife drove me to the local Emergency Department at the hospital where I met medical staff who jabbed needles into my arm to extract blood. Later I learned my heart rate dropped to seventeen beats per minute whilst the heart rate should be seventy beats per minute.
After two days in Intensive Care Unit I transferred to another hospital and underwent an operation for a pacemaker implant.
After discharge from this hospital one damn thing lead to another, when because of my immediate illness I couldn’t return to work nor attend the course; my life over, or so I thought at the time.
My career certainly over so I retired. After a couple of years I regained other employment to again be useful to society.
This event occurred over twenty-two years ago and after reconsidering what happened at the time regrets I have none of leaving my old career. I’m thankful to my wife who encouraged me to visit the doctor and to the doctor whose immediate action saved my life.
After a couple of