by JJ Knight
Zero looks at me sympathetically. “Aren’t you more important than the fight?”
I jump off the sofa. “Of course not! This is his life! The one thing he’s worked for. His career!” I pace the room. “I’m just someone he’s known for a couple of months.”
Zero tucks his feet up into the bowl of the round chair so I can walk by. “So, what will YOU do if he loses?”
I stand behind the sofa and squeeze the black cushion like it’s my fears I’m killing. “I have to let him go. If he loses after he’s been winning, and the only difference is me, then I have to let him go.”
“Might not be easy. I saw him looking at you in the cafe. He’ll come for you this time. He won’t make the same mistake again.” Zero leans his head on the back of the papasan cushion.
I know he’s right. “Then I’ll just have to disappear.”
Zero launches from the chair. “Where will you go? What will you do?”
“I have a little money saved,” I say. And I do. The gym job plus fight money has let me get ahead.
“What will I do without you?” Zero’s eyes are big and bright against his caramel skin.
“I’ll let you know how I am, if it comes to that,” I say.
Zero comes around the sofa to wrap his arm around my shoulders. “He has to win,” he whispers.
“I know.” But if he doesn’t, I will go. I won’t be the thing that destroys his hopes for the championship title.
I left my life behind once before and left no trace. I can do it again.
Chapter Nineteen
Instead of calling, Colt comes over after the filming. The studio is in LA, so he’s already close.
He uses the secret knock, but I’m there before he can finish it. I fling the door open.
Colt looks intimidating and intense. He’s wearing a black silk shirt and a charcoal leather jacket that fits like a second skin. His jeans are black and distressed, formed to his thighs.
My heart speeds up just looking at him. “Is this what you wore on the set?”
“Partly,” Colt says. “We filmed some talk separately, like we were reacting to the other’s interviews. Then we were together, doing the smack talk in person. We had fight gear on then. Sponsors and all. That’s the stuff that gets replayed.”
We sit on the sofa. “Did you guys come to blows?” I’ve seen some of these pre-match conferences. It’s like hockey. People root for the fights.
“I did sock the host in the jaw.”
Anger rises up in me. “What did he do?”
“He flashed some pictures on the screen behind us. It was supposed to be me and Mulligan. But they switched it.” He shakes his head, like the memory of it pisses him off.
“To what?”
Colt tries to pull me close instead of answering, but I resist. “What did they show?” I ask again.
He lifts me onto his lap. “There was bound to be some horsing around with all the press I’ve gotten lately,” he says. “Part of the deal. I expected it from Mulligan. Just not from the show itself.”
“You mean the pictures of us getting out of the car?”
“Yes, those. And the older ones behind the gym after the engagement announcement.” His grip on me gets tighter. “They dragged Brittany into it.”
“Was she there?”
“No. But she’s going to be pissed. They did this little graphic where a kettlebell knocks her off a wedding cake.”
“Oh, no.” I try to keep a straight face about it, but I bust out laughing.
“I know. It’s payback for her sitting in my gym while you were half-naked behind me.” Colt buries his face in my hair. “You smell good.”
“When will it air?” Zero and I will have to get together for it. Maybe Buster and Nate, too.
“Tomorrow night.”
“Will it go online?”
“Probably.”
“Will Brittany call when she sees it?”
“I blocked her the way she blocked you.”
I hold his head, still nestled in my hair. I try not to think about what happens in the next few days. The fight. Colt will win or lose. I will stay or disappear. I started packing a few things, but then worried I was jinxing him and put them back.
“Will I see you again before the fight?” I ask.
Colt has nudged his way through my hair to my neck. He finishes a line of light kisses along my skin before he answers. “You can come to the dressing room if you want.”
“Will that distract you?” My body is reacting to his mouth on me. He smiles against my neck and moves one hand to slip underneath my sweater.
“You always distract me.” He reaches around my back and expertly unhooks the bra. The tension releases.
I suck in a breath as his fingers trace the hollow beneath a breast. “Then I shouldn’t go back there.”
“Mmm.” He nibbles my earlobe.
“I’ll just see you after, then?”
He doesn’t answer, his breath warm against my cheek. I turn my head and kiss him. I know that if he loses, I won’t be going to see him after the fight. And I won’t be able to do more than run by my apartment and grab my things and take off again. I only have an hour or so before he usually comes over.
I guess I should pack a few things after all.
“Hey,” he whispers. “What’s wrong?”
Instead of answering, I kiss him back. I want to tell him how much I love him, and that if I leave it will be for him. And that maybe, if he has a successful title run, I can come back, if he still wants me. If he hasn’t moved on by then. But that I will understand if he has.
I shift around so that I straddle him. My hands shake with the emotion of what I know I have to do. This could be the last time for us. This night may have to keep me going a very long time, maybe forever.
Colt lifts me up in his arms and carries me back to my bedroom. I think how hard it will be to leave here, to lose the places where we were together. The last time I had to run away, I wanted to go. This time, I will wish I never had to leave.
Chapter Twenty
Colt offers to send his driver for me before the fight. But I remember that’s how the last one began, and I want to do something different.
Zero lets Angel take his spot in that night’s show and comes with me. “Ain’t nobody shoving my Jo in a limo on my watch,” he insists.
We take a bus to the arena. This is a whole different level than Colt’s private fights, and even Parker’s official one. There will be ten thousand seats ringing the cage, Colt says. And after the footage of Colt punching the announcer got splashed on all the highlight reels of every sports network, it’s sold out.
Zero is with me all the way. If Colt loses, he’s going to help me pack and go. I’ll spend the first night in a hotel, then in the morning I’ll stop to leave a note for Buster that I had to skip town. I’m not sure about the fights he’s booked. I can’t do them, or Colt will show up. I’d get security, but I’m guessing if Colt wants to get to me, he’ll make it happen. I have to disappear completely.
He can’t lose. He just can’t.
I’m a wreck by the time we walk up to the arena. We go to Will Call like Colt told us to. Zero and I both get front-row tickets, as well as laminated passes to allow us in the dressing rooms. A couple of girls standing behind me offer me two hundred dollars for my pass. I think to myself, I could use the money if I have to leave. But I’m not betting against him. Not now.
“You have to picture how happy it will be after his big victory, Jo Jo,” Zero says as we stand in line to get in. We’re arriving just fifteen minutes prior to the fight, so I won’t sit around and be nervous.
Zero has dressed me as usual, but this time we’re making sure the press doesn’t recognize me in case I have to disappear. After the incident at the prefight show, the Kettle Belle images resurfaced. My red dye has almost completely faded, so I look too much like my old self. Zero’s given me a stretchy yellow hat with a giant crocheted flower on the side. He cli
pped in a half-dozen blue extensions, which stream out the back like it’s my actual hair.
Since Colt liked green on me so well, we found a jacket that looks like an emerald pearl, glossy and subdued. I couldn’t bear to wear the red sweater to another fight, so Zero loaned me one of his own, a slate blue cable knit that complements both the jacket and my hair.
The ushers point us in the direction of our seats. Colt has put me close to the walkway and the door of the cage. I’ll be the last thing he sees as he goes in, and the first thing when he comes out.
If I’m still there after the fight.
The arena is packed. Colt’s fight is the main event, but there are others happening before it. As we sit through match after match, I wish I had waited to come. Some of the fights end in brutal takedowns. Others go through all three rounds and the judges’ decision. I’m so close that when a fighter named Wide Range is pinned on the cage floor in front of me, I can see the pain in his eyes.
“This is tough stuff,” Zero says. He’s taken a cotton handkerchief from his pocket and holds it in front of his nose like a Southern belle might have done with smelling salts.
An hour and a half passes before they announce the match between Colt and Mulligan.
The announcer makes a joke of putting on a protective helmet before reading off Colt’s name. The lights shift and aim toward the end of the carpet walk.
My heart is in my throat. I turn in my chair, right on the edge of the row. Colt appears, followed by a new boy assistant and Killjoy, the trainer.
The announcer really revs it up now. “And here on his comeback trail, headed STRAIGHT to the title fight for the light heavyweights, Colt ‘The Gunner’ MCCLURE!”
The crowd goes nuts. Flashes pop from every direction. Everyone jumps to their feet. I’m so nervous that I don’t stand up at first, but Zero grabs my arm and hauls me up next to him.
Colt sees me, and in an instant, takes in my outfit and knows not to acknowledge me. I didn’t even warn him I would be hiding. But he knows me. I see it in his glance.
He strips off his fight suit just a few steps away from me and heads into the cage.
The announcer pretends to dodge Colt as he crosses the floor. “Whoa, boy, I’m not with that other guy!” The audience goes wild again.
But Colt is focused. He doesn’t kid with the announcer, just waits in his corner of the hexagon near Killjoy.
The announcer introduces Mulligan McGee. The crowd goes crazy again, but I think less so than for Colt. Everyone likes a comeback. Not to mention a hothead who punches TV personalities.
Brittany hasn’t been there so far, but I scan the front row again to see if any of the previously empty seats are taken by her. Still no sign of her blonde head, but I freeze when I see a familiar form settling into a chair.
Colt’s father.
He glances around the front row as well, but he doesn’t recognize me in my hat and blue hair. I reach for Zero’s hand and hold it tight to help with the ruse.
The announcer goes on about the two fighters, but I focus in on Colt. He seems serious, listening to Killjoy’s last advice.
The ref gestures for them to come forward. He isn’t miked, but I know he’s telling them to have a clean fight.
When he backs away and signals for the start clock, my anxiety is so high that I feel faint. I clutch Zero like a lifeline.
Mulligan is a well-rounded fighter. He can kick, he can hit, he can wrestle, and he can ground and pound. He never opens with the same move.
Colt makes the first offensive combo, a standard jab, cross, kick that I teach beginners. He’s not giving anything away. But it makes the crowd roar to see action. Mulligan follows with his own pattern.
I settle down a little as the minutes tick by. They are evenly matched so far. But I know neither one wants to leave it to a judge, so eventually they will attack.
With a minute left in the first round, Mulligan decides to take it up a notch. He lands a brutal jump kick that knocks Colt backward. I leap to my feet along with everyone else as Colt drops to the floor, then bounces right back up.
Zero takes my hand back, squeezing it. Colt returns the volley with a pounding round of punches that Mulligan can’t seem to dodge. Jab. Cross. Head. Body. Leg sweep. Gut. The crowd becomes deafening as the attack goes on and on. By the time the buzzer ends the round, Mulligan is stumbling.
I start to breathe easier. He’s got this.
Then it happens. He glances my way. When I see him do it, my heart sinks. It’s just a second, a fleeting shift of his head. But everyone who knows Colt catches it. And they all look at me. Killjoy, the assistant.
And his father.
Colt’s broken his focus.
Everything anyone has ever said about Colt blasts through my head.
We know what’s best for him.
He can’t separate his personal life from his fights.
You’re a problem.
Killjoy is screaming at Colt. Colt’s trying to pay attention.
The refs motion the trainers to leave. Colt and Mulligan come back for another round.
I hope that Mulligan is shaken up enough that it doesn’t matter that Colt’s game is off. But as soon as the round begins, Mulligan sweeps another series of kicks, landing a tough one to Colt’s jaw.
When Colt goes down, he’s too slow getting back up, and Mulligan is on him, pounding furiously. I close my eyes, remembering Throwdown. Colt’s bloody face. The defeat.
I stand up.
I’m not a fighter.
And I’m not a part of the fighter world.
I am a problem.
I need to go where I can’t cause any more damage.
The crowd is standing, animated, screaming at the action in the cage. Screaming at Mulligan taking down Colt, my lover, my love.
I don’t look back, but head up the aisle, slowly, like I’m walking to my execution. And I am. I won’t be coming back. Colt can’t win with me here.
All the sound is gone. I’m inside the hurricane, but this one has no action, no blows, no enemy. Inside this storm, I am alone, like I always was before.
The way I’ll have to be again.
UNCAGED LOVE is a 5-book series about Jo and Colt.
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Thank you for reading!
Love, JJ
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