by Dyanne Davis
“You’re a marine, you can do it.”
“What am I supposed to do?”
“You’re going to Waukegan and they will decide where you’re needed most. We’re trying something new. There’s going to be a crossover with the other branches. We want you to work in teams, perhaps with another officer from the recruiting stations. There are still a few wrinkles in the plans. But from now on Waukegan will be your home base. You may not necessarily remain there, but it will be your new home.
Eric took a look around Great Lakes and blinked. “How long, sir,” he asked.
“Until you get the job done.”
“What specifically is the job?”
“You’re going to all of the schools in Illinois and even in the field, to the homes of ROTC students. The enlistment is dangerously low. We need you to instill some pride, get the quota up. Bring us some bodies.”
Eric shivered. That was what he feared most about the assignment, bringing bodies. Hell, it was bad enough that he had to look into the faces of college kids. Now he had to talk high school students into signing up to die. He shivered. Is this what You saved me for? Another thought followed. Maybe it wasn’t Gabi’s God at all that saved him. Considering his new assignment he rather doubted that it was.
***
For three weeks Eric was traipsing all over Illinois talking at schools, and not just to the ones with marine programs, but air force as well. If they had ROTC he was talking. He’d finally landed in Joliet and was working primarily with Master Sergeant Leon Ross. Lucky for Eric they got along from the moment Eric arrived.
Eric glanced at the sergeant, grateful that the atmosphere had been different from that of the temporary posts he’d been sent to. There was none of the hidden animosity, as though Eric were stepping on someone’s toes. They were military but they had worked beyond that and were on the verge of forming a friendship. Now they were taking their show on the road to the homes.
“Lieutenant, are you ready to go?”
“Sure, let’s do this.” Eric looked at the man and observed the premature lines on his face. Eric had thought him much older than the fifty-five he said he was. He looked to be at least sixty-five. Then again, doing what he was doing could age a person big time.
***
“Ma’am, I’m Lieutenant Jackson and this is Master Sergeant Ross. Your son is in the ROTC program at Lincoln High School. We want to talk with him about making the service a career.”
“A career,” the woman screeched at him. “What kind of career? There’s a war going on.”
“Of course there’s a war going on, ma’am. And we do our duty to defend our country.”
“My son’s only eighteen.”
“He’s old enough to join without your consent.”
“He’s not joining.”
“Could you please tell me why he’s in the ROTC program at school if he has no intention of serving his county?”
“It wasn’t like there were a lot of other programs open.”
“But joining ROTC is a choice, not a requirement.”
“He wanted a uniform to impress the girls, okay?”
Eric looked at the woman sternly, hoping to stop her tirade. They had not been invited inside, and he doubted that they would be. He took a peek inside the home, looked at the neighborhood, then back at the scowling woman. “Is your son planning on going to college?”
He noticed the slackness around the woman’s mouth that told him they couldn’t afford college. Of course not. When it came to gathering data the corps was the best. They’d done their work carefully. The recruiters had been instructed to concentrate on the low to middle income homes, with particular emphasis on Latinos, blacks, and poor whites. They were their target, someone to whom they could offer a chance at an education, a cash bonus, an opportunity to travel.
Eric ignored the feeling of ants crawling over his spine. He had a job to do. He was a marine and he was going to do it.
“We have a sign-up bonus,” Eric said softly, “up to ten thousands dollars if your son meets the qualifications, plus full tuition to a college of his choice. If he makes the service a career he can retire with a very nice pension in his forties. We’ll even help him get a home. He’ll get to travel to foreign countries, things he’d probably never be able to do on his own. We’ll be there for him every step of the way.”
“Will you be there for him if he comes home with both legs blown off?”
“If that should happen we have very good hospitals throughout the country. Veterans are never alone. A disabled veteran has a lifetime pension.”
“Just like the one hundred dollar a month pension my husband received from serving in Vietnam and being sprayed with Agent Orange? No thanks.”
“Ma’am, Eric said, talking around the knot of disgust in his throat. “Casualties happen in war. We all hate them but we’re trying to do a job, to protect our country, to protect you and your family. Serving our country is an honor and a privilege.”
“How much are you getting, Lieutenant?”
“Excuse me?”
“How much of a bonus are you getting for every young person that you deliver? Fifty dollars? A hundred? How much is my son’s life worth to you? Tell me, are you going to go to Washington and try to recruit the senators’ sons? She stopped and looked around.
“Or are you concentrating on the people who don’t live in five hundred thousand dollar homes?”
“That’s not what we’re doing…I would go to Washington if I were given orders to.” Eric blinked, determined to do what he’d come for, to sign up another marine. “I wouldn’t be a marine if I didn’t believe in what we’re fighting for.”
“Lieutenant, please leave my home. I don’t believe you, I think you’re lying. You look at my son as a quota. You get a bonus when you sign up a kid. You will not be the one worrying about him every night, praying he’ll come home alive. You’ll not be the one to bear the pain if he doesn’t.”
“I feel the loss of every soldier,” Eric answered, allowing his gaze to linger on the woman. “That is not a lie.”
“Not like a mother or a father. They have to be your babies for you to feel it. And a flag-draped coffin will not make me feel any better. You should be ashamed of yourself.”
Eric stared straight ahead; he was ashamed of himself. “It’s my job, ma’am. I’m a marine.”
”And I’m a mother,” the woman said and slammed the door in his face, making Eric jump.
Damn. Eric clenched his teeth and breathed out hard. “How many more on the list, Sergeant Ross?”
***
A glance around the smoky bar had Eric wishing he had not come. He should be home with his wife. If he could have anything in the world that he wanted, it would be to erase the last eighteen months from their lives. He blew out a breath, shaking his head as he did so.
“Whose shit list are you on?”
This time Eric did grin. Then he laughed, looking directly at Sergeant Ross. It was obvious Eric’s new assignment had something to do with him screwing up, probably the little speeches he’d been giving to the troops leaving for the war. This was the higher ups’ way of reminding him who and what he was.
“It’s that obvious, huh? I think since I’ve been home maybe the general thinking is that my mind needs a little readjusting. Having me recruit kids doesn’t sound like the way to fix anything.”
“No, it doesn’t, but it does let you know who’s boss.”
Eric held up his glass and clicked it with the other marine. They drank, not mentioning the frosty reception they’d received in all of the homes. None of the parents wanted their kids to join up. Neither Lieutenant Eric Jackson nor Master Sergeant Leon Ross blamed them. But it wasn’t their job to tell civilians their thoughts. They were both soldiers and they had orders to increase enlistment. To be honest, a part of Eric wanted to get someone to join, so he could end this assignment. The longer he was in the field without results, the longer he would be made to stay in t
he field. It was a vicious circle with only one end. Besides, both men knew the moment trouble broke out everyone would expect the soldiers to take care of it. How were they going to do that if no one wanted to make a commitment?
“I’m not signing back up.” Sergeant Ross spoke softly with some regret tinging his voice. “I already have my years in. My wife’s worried that things may get so desperate they’ll ship me over. I promised her when this contract is up I’ll come out. I’ve got another two years.”
“I have a year left.” Eric glanced around the bar before returning his focus back to the sergeant. “I always intended to make the service my career, to retire, just like I’ve been telling the kids, have a nice pension and a good job and live comfortably.”
“What changed your mind?”
“Probably the same thing that changed yours.” Eric stopped dancing around the issue and looked the sergeant in the eye.
“What changed mine is my nineteen-year-old son enlisted, wants to follow in my footsteps. He’s made me so damn proud. But I’m scared as hell that…I don’t want my son to die. Not just in a war. I don’t want him to die, ever. I want to see him marry, have kids of his own.” He took another sip of his drink. “You got any kids?”
“No,” Eric admitted, “not yet.” There was no need in saying not ever.
“Well, wait until you become a father. Those civilians were right; you don’t understand until it comes right in your face.”
“Did you tell your son not to join?”
“How the hell was I going to do that? He respects me. He’d think I was the biggest hypocrite in the world to go out and tell other kids to join and then tell him not to. But to tell you the truth, I keep hoping my wife will go off, tell him no damn way. He broke up with his girlfriend. I don’t know if he thinks that will win her back or what. I just know that he wants to go and there ain’t a damn thing I can do about it. I’m serious, I’m not signing back up.”
“Neither am I,” Eric admitted. “Damn,” he added, taking a long swallow. “It must really be hard on you being a recruiting officer.”
Eric waited in vain for an answer while Leon Ross looked past him, his eyes dead and haunted. “I should call my wife,” Eric said at last, not making a move to reach for his cell. “She’s probably worried about me.” Still he didn’t call, knowing that his phone was off and Gabi couldn’t contact him. He closed his eyes and swallowed.
“Have faith.”
In what? Eric wondered. The voice was coming more frequently. He’d put off counseling but if the voice continued he’d go just to find out the meaning of the voice. The base had a counselor but it was the last place Eric would go for mental help. When he left the corps it would be with honors, not as a mental case.
“Want to dance?”
Eric’s eyes traveled up the lean brown feminine body standing before him. “Sure, why not?” he said, putting his glass on the table and moving to take the woman in his arms.
An hour of dancing passed more quickly than Eric could have ever imagined. He was on his second drink with his dance companion, his fourth for the evening, two over his usual limit. He was feeling no pain and no guilt that he was making his wife worry.
“I love a man in uniform.”
Eric smiled. He’d heard that line a thousand times. His usual response was, ‘So does my wife.’ Not tonight, though. Tonight, he didn’t want to mention Gabi or acknowledge the fact that she was sitting home worrying about him. He was tired of her worrying about him. He was her husband, not her son. His eyelids closed and he swore he could see her sitting on the sofa in front of the television, not concentrating on the picture, but thinking of him. He didn’t want to see the pity in her eyes tonight. He wanted to forget that he couldn’t be a man for her, that he couldn’t give her a baby.
“Thanks,” Eric said at last. “I’m glad that I wore my uniform.”
“What’s your rank?”
“General,” Eric lied.
“Really?”
“Really.” Eric smiled at the woman. “Have you ever been with a general?”
“No, but I’m always ready to try new things.”
“I bet you are,” he said, smiling into her black eyes, looking at her chocolate brown skin and neatly weaved hair.
He held out his hand to her. “Come on, let’s dance some more.” When she laid her head on his shoulder he thought of Gabi and the fact that she would smell the woman’s scent on his body, on his clothes. So what? he thought. So what? He’d had a hell of a day.
“Lieutenant, are you ready to go?”
Eric looked toward the sergeant. “I’m having a good time,” he replied lazily.
The sergeant glanced down at his watch. “My wife is probably worried about me, sir. She can’t sleep until I get home.”
The message was loud and clear. Eric and the sergeant had talked about their wives. His dancing for over an hour apparently had the sergeant worried and rightfully so. Eric was more than tempted, he was ready. And if he had his own car he might have followed through on it. He smiled in the sergeant’s general direction, wondering what would happen if he stayed away all night.
“Lieutenant?”
“I thought you were a general,” the woman spoke, laughing.
Eric hunched his shoulder and grinned at her.
“It doesn’t matter. I’ve never done a lieutenant either.”
“Mercy,” Eric said and smiled, walking away. “Maybe next time.”
ANOTHER MAN’S BABY 229
Chapter Eleven
For three hours, Gabi had sat in front of the television not watching the programs, repeating over and over to herself that she would not call Eric. He was a big boy. He knew she was worried about him. She was trying her best to give him space to work it out on his own. Between finding out he was sterile and not being able to maintain an erection the last few times they’d made love, things were not good. Talking only seemed to make it worse, so she didn’t talk, not about anything important anyway.
The click of the lock blasted through the quiet house like a bullet. Instead of the tension draining out of her body, more settled around Gabi’s shoulders. She wanted to run to Eric, examine him, and make sure he hadn’t been hurt. Not tonight, she thought. She’d wait until he came to her.
“Gabi, why aren’t you in bed?” Eric asked, coming to the doorway of the living room.
The slurred speech made her head jerk up. “Did you drive home like that?” she asked before she could stop the words.
“No, Sergeant Ross drove me. I’ll need you to drive me in tomorrow. My car’s at the office.”
Eric stood there staring at her, a look on his face that struck at the core of her heart. She was losing him and he was doing it deliberately. Saving a marriage took more than one person; it took two. Gabi no longer knew which way to go. If she talked he got angry; if she didn’t, she got angry.
“You hungry?” she asked instead. “Did you eat?”
“No, I didn’t eat. You got something on the stove?”
“I have a plate for you in the fridge. I can warm it up for you.”
“Thanks.”
So polite, she thought, the two of them could be room- mates. She passed him on her way to the kitchen and caught the scent of perfume, stopped and looked at him, frowning at the lipstick on his shirt. She shook her head and headed toward the kitchen. Not tonight, she thought. Tonight she wasn’t in the mood. Tonight she would warm his dinner and pretend that he wasn’t reeking of alcohol and another woman’s perfume.
***
“Eric, I made an appointment for a physical for you. You have Saturday off, so Friday you need to fast. No drinking after work because they’re going to draw blood.”
“How do you know what the doctor is going to order?”
“It’s a physical. It’s not hard to figure out. Why are you being so suspicious?”
“I just don’t know what reason you have for going behind my back and making an appointment for a physical
.”
Gabi couldn’t keep the sigh from escaping. “Look, it’s no big deal. My insurance requires it for both of us.”
“Then this is for insurance purposes?”
She glared at him. “I want to make sure you’re healthy. They’re doing me a favor, blood tests, X-rays, EKG, the works.”
“What, no test for STDs?”
Gabi stood up and looked down at him. “Should they test you for STDs?” She grabbed her keys from the hook and walked out the door without saying goodbye. Her body was shaking with the effort to maintain control.
***
Gabi fumed the entire way to work. Nothing was going as it should. She’d talked with Ongela and had been advised to wait it out, to give Eric more time. She would give Eric all the time he needed but she wished he’d give her just a little help, just behave as though he liked her. She was beginning to question it. She wondered what she’d done to make him stop liking her.
Opening the door of the clinic, Gabi paused. This used to be her home away from home. She’d always loved working here but now even the office felt stifling. Her relationship with her co-workers was deteriorating almost as rapidly as her marriage. Trying to remain sane at home and at work was becoming a for real juggling act. Gabi stopped as she saw Traci heading for her. She took a deep breath, wondering what was coming now.
“Gabi, where were you last night?”
What an odd question. Gabi looked at Tracie and witnessed a flicker of something pass across the woman’s face. She didn’t know what was up but her skin crawled. “Why?” she asked instead of answering the question.
“I saw Eric last night in a club in Joliet. At first I thought it was you dancing with him.” Tracie hunched her shoulder. “But after an hour or so I could tell it wasn’t you.”
Gabi’s spine stiffened as she ordered her body to obey her commands. She was not going to break down and she was not going to let Tracie think she didn’t know Eric had been out dancing with another woman.