by Dyanne Davis
“Stop looking at me like that.” She tried to say the words firmly but they came out as a mere whisper and she cursed herself for it.
“What are you going to do if I don’t?”
“Move.”
“Move?” Eric planted his massive body more squarely, blocking his wife’s path deliberately.
“I’m not kidding,” Gabi hissed.
“Neither am I.”
So what did she do now? Gabi drew back her hand and swung it forward only to have Eric catch it in his viselike grip. “You’re hurting me,” she said, attempting to use her other hand to pry loose from him.
“I hurt you? Just what do you think you’ve done to me? You’ve killed me. I’m still breathing, but I’m dead. How could you do this, Gabi? How could you?” He loosened his grip.
How she wanted to shout at him that he’d killed her also. She wanted to remind him of Jamilla, of the panties and the condom, but she wanted him to believe her more. They’d been given a miracle and she wanted to make him see that. “I…I’m not going to keep pleading with you. If you don’t believe me then there is nothing I can do. Just be careful you don’t destroy what little we have left. You’re going to feel like a fool when the doctor tells you you can father a child, aren’t you?”
Gabi shoved past Eric, wanting and needing more space. Her breath lodged in her throat. If she heard his footsteps behind her she swore she was going to run like hell.
Eric sank into the thick mattress and wished he were dead, that he’d died in Iraq. At least he would have died believing his wife loved him, that they could fix any problem they had between them.
Well, this was one problem that he didn’t think they could fix so easily. No, this one would require a test result showing he was not sterile. Even then, Eric didn’t think he would believe it.
He could demand DNA of the baby and Gabi, and even from Reggie. He shuddered hard. This had happened to a lot of his friends when they’d been so far from home, fighting. Their wives and girlfriends had deserted them, cheated on them, had babies. But he’d never worried, not about Gabi. He could count on her, come hell or high water. She loved him. Again, a hard shudder. Eric rolled out of the bed and went to the medicine cabinet. He had to take something to dull the pain, anything.
He rummaged in the cabinets, not finding anything that looked as if it would cure what ailed him until he spotted the bottle of over the counter sleeping pills. For now he needed them. He wanted to lie in bed and sleep for a thousand hours. Hopefully when he woke he would find that this had only been a nightmare. If he were lucky, the whole last year of his marriage would have only been a nightmare.
Tears filled his eyes. He’d made it home alive and whole. After an entire year from his wife, what a cruel joke fate had played on them. Sure, he’d wanted to fight for his country, but he’d had no idea what the hell they were even fighting for. For twelve months he had not seen his wife, not kissed her thighs, not tasted the sweet nectar that was Gabi, not made love to her. Hell, if he’d thought it out, he would have never enlisted in the first damn place.
Then again, he hadn’t really enlisted. He’d sort of been forced into it from having gone to college and allowing Uncle Sam to pay for it. Man, payback was a real rip-roaring bitch. Just because he’d done the ROTC thing and been promised a commission, he’d gone for it, anything to impress his wife, a woman he should have never had to impress after they were married. But Eric had always felt a little out of his league with her, like anytime he stepped out of line there would be someone there to take his place.
Eric growled. Reggie had always been the fly in the ointment, the one who’d dated Gabi because Eric had lacked the nerve to ask, the one to take her to her first prom, the one who’d broken her heart when she’d caught him kissing another girl at the prom.
It was at the prom where Eric had found Gabi crying and comforted her. He’d always wondered and believed she’d dated him out of gratitude and at the time it hadn’t mattered. He’d loved her so much that he was ready to take her any way he could get her, gratitude not withstanding.
Pain radiated through Eric, but there was one thing he could do, one person he could force to tell him the truth. He glanced over at the closet, the thought of what he was about to do weighing heavily. He was only going to scare Reggie, not kill him. He gazed at his trembling hands, not knowing if his thoughts were the truth or a lie. Either way, he was going to do it. He returned the pills to the medicine cabinet. Sleep could wait. Right now he had more important matters to attend to.
Eric walked to the closet, reached up and brought the locked steel box down. He ran his hand across the cold metal, swallowing as he did so. What ifs ran though his mind. If he shot Reggie, what then? Did he come back and kill Gabi, then himself? Because if he killed Gabi there was no way in hell he could live with that.
He laid the box on the desk and went to his drawer across the room to retrieve the key, telling himself the entire time that he was just going to use the gun to force Reggie to tell the truth.
A few minutes passed and he was almost done. He should have moved quicker, done less thinking, but no matter, he was still going through with it. He heard the door open, heard Gabi’s gasp of surprise. He pulled the brush from the barrel of his 9mm and continued doing what he was doing. “Eric.”
He ignored Gabi calling his name. Picking up the magazine he loaded the bullets. One by one he felt the tips of the smooth projectiles. He’d had so much guilt over the killings he’d done. None of it had been personal, this was.
“Eric, what are you doing?” Gabi asked, standing directly in front of him.
“What does it look like I’m doing?”
“Are you planning on killing me?”
“I don’t know yet.”
“You’re crazy, you know that?” Gabi splayed her hands on her hips and glared at Eric.
“Should you talk that way to a man with a gun?”
“Not to any man, to my husband. We’ve both made mistakes, we’ve hurt each other.”
“That’s true,” Eric agreed as he dropped another bullet into the magazine. “But I didn’t make a baby with anyone. I didn’t sleep with anyone.”
“You did make a baby, Eric, you made a baby with me.”
He sighed, glared at her and looked at the gun in his hand. “I was willing to try and forgive you, but you don’t want that. You want me to pretend that a miracle happened. Sorry, Gabi, I can’t do that.”
Eric finished what he was doing, put his gun in his pocket and replaced the case in the closet. “You can still stop this, Gabi. Tell me the truth. I have to know the truth. You tell me that you slept with Reggie, that it’s his baby, and I’ll find a way to forgive you.”
“I’m not going to tell you that, it’s not true.” She was shivering. Though diamonds sparkled in her eyes, the tears didn’t fall.
“You don’t care if I kill Reggie?” he asked.
“Of course I care,” Gabi said slowly. “I care because I lied to you and had you thinking I was sleeping with him. I wanted revenge. That never works out, does it? Eric, baby, you’ve got to believe me. Reggie didn’t even know what I was doing.”
“You telling me he didn’t want you?”
“He wanted me, and he thought he had a chance of getting me. But he never had a chance and he doesn’t deserve to die for just wanting me.”
“What does he deserve to die for?”
“It’s not his baby.”
“Then tell me whose baby it is.”
“I’ve told you.”
“Not good enough, Gabi, but I give you credit, you’re playing it real cool.” Eric tilted his head a tiny bit and smiled half-heartedly at her. “You don’t believe I can kill?”
“I don’t believe you can kill an innocent man and not in cold blood.”
“But I have, Gabi, I’ve killed an innocent man in cold blood.” Eric laughed again as her mouth widened in surprise. “What the hell did you think I was doing in Iraq?”
> “You’re not there anymore. You’re home. This is not a war zone, and you don’t get to shoot people. You’ll go to jail.”
“And I’ll get out. Depressed marine officer, combat fatigue, unable to cope. My behavior since I’ve been home will be the proof to set me free. I’m a soldier, Gabi, I’ve been trained to kill. Do you think it’s easy to turn it off?” He watched as Gabi narrowed her eyes.
“You’ve thought about this?” she asked.
“Some.”
“You can’t do this.” Gabi was trying to keep the fear from her voice but it was impossible. She was afraid, afraid for Reggie and herself, but most of all afraid for Eric. Too late she wished she’d listened to the voice. She’d had a choice, and now her choice had led her here.
“I believe you,” she said. “I don’t think you slept with Jamilla.”
Eric stared at her. “Your belief is a little late, baby.” He moved slowly toward the door, turned and stared. “Tell me the truth.”
“I have,” Gabi pleaded, wishing she could go back in time. If only she had listened. “God,” she moaned. “Eric, baby, don’t do anything crazy, please.”
The pressure in his chest was excruciating. Eric took a breath and released it. “I can’t just let this go.”
“Why not? I did. I didn’t talk to Jamilla,” Gabi said, willing to try anything.
“And you’re not a man.”
“But I wanted to kick that heifer’s behind.” Gabi glared at him, remembering the feelings she’d had that night she’d caught Jamilla with her hands all over Eric’s body. She still wanted to kick her behind, but she hadn’t.
“So you understand my feelings?”
“I understand but there’s no need. Like you told me, keep your dignity, baby. It’s not like you to fight over a woman.” He was staring at her and she wasn’t sure if he even heard her.
“You think that’s what this is about, me playing macho? You think my pride is wounded and now I have to revenge my honor? This is about so much more, Gabi. This is about who we are. You are my life. You own my soul, I can’t live without that.”
“You don’t have to,” Gabi pleaded.
“I’m talking about knowing the truth.”
Gabi sighed. “You’re going to destroy our lives.”
He walked back to her, tilted her chin, kissed her lips, and patted her abdomen. “You already took care of that.”
***
Mixed emotions washed through Eric. He’d driven to the club on automatic pilot. Too much thinking and he’d end up in trouble. He kept Reggie’s face in his mind, wondering what he would do if Reggie maintained that he wasn’t the father of Gabi’s baby. What would he do then? He didn’t know.
“I want to see Reggie Washington,” Eric said pleasantly to the bartender. “I owe him something.”
“Sorry, he’s not working tonight.”
“He’s not here?” Eric asked, surprised, wondering if somehow Reggie had been warned. Gabi, he thought. Of course Gabi would have called to warn him.
Eric worried his top lip with the tip of his tongue, trying to think of a way to get around the suspicious bartender. “Reggie told me to come by tonight, that he would be here. Are you sure you don’t have it wrong, that Reggie might be coming in later?”
“Not tonight.”
“Does he sometimes just drop in?” Eric was aware the bartender was eyeing him suspiciously. “I really need to see him.”
“If you have something to give him you can leave it with me.”
“No, I don’t think so,” Eric answered, “this I have to give to him in person. It’s too important and too personal to leave with anyone. I have to make sure he gets it. You wouldn’t happen to know where he lives, would you?” Now the bartender looked definitely suspicious.
“What’s wrong?” the bartender asked. “Did Reggie come on to your old lady? Listen, the dancers don’t have to do anything, the women come after them. I keep telling you guys, don’t blame the dancers. Put your woman in check.”
For a moment Eric wondered if he pulled the automatic from his pocket if the man would continue talking. “It’s not like that,” Eric said instead. “We’re old friends. We’ve just lost touch.”
“Then leave your name,” the bartender said, his eyes narrowed into suspicious little slits. “I’ll see he gets it.” He shoved paper and pen toward Eric. “Here.”
Call me, Reggie, Eric wrote. I need to talk to you. He glanced up at the bartender and knew the man was watching him closely, probably with his finger on the panic button. He’d told the man he had something to give Reggie.
He looked back at the note and added, I have something to give you that you might be happy about. He shrugged, signed his name and handed it over. It was then he realized that Reggie might not want the baby or Gabi on a permanent basis. He hadn’t wanted her before and he didn’t seem like he’d settled down much in the years since Eric had seen him.
A flutter began in his chest, a fragile sign of hope. Maybe he and Gabi still had a future. Reggie wasn’t big on commitments and Gabi knew that. Eric turned and left the club.
***
For over an hour Gabi sat numb, not knowing how to put her degenerating marriage back on track. She’d called the club to warn Reggie, and was relieved when she was told he was not scheduled for work. At least that would prevent Eric from doing something stupid. She trembled, wondering how far gone he really was.
She couldn’t imagine her husband killing her, but then of course she could never have imagined him hitting the clubs and disrespecting her the way he had. She didn’t know how the condom and panties had gotten into their car if Eric wasn’t involved. He maintained that he hadn’t had sex in the car or anyplace. If she was asking him to believe that he was sterile and had given her a baby, she’d have to try and believe the story he’d woven.
Gabi yelled for her guardian angel. He’d been absent now for weeks. The quiet she’d always thought she wanted proved now to be not so good. Gabi trembled, wondering if her guardian angel was watching over Eric. She wondered for a moment which of the two of them needed an angel more. After all, Eric had the gun.
“Have faith.”
A smile formed on her lips and Gabi gave a prayer of thanks. I’ve never known why you’ve been telling me to have faith. Now I think I do. If I’m wrong and Eric kills me we’re going to have to have a talk on the other side. She laughed nervously.
“Eric, baby, I hope you can hear me. I didn’t cheat on you,” Gabrielle said softly. “Why would I? I’ve always loved you, you and only you.” She fell back against the sofa pillows, remembering when they’d first met.
She’d been in love with Eric since she was fifteen. She’d given him every indication that she liked him, but he’d done nothing about it for years and she’d been forced to forget him. That was the way it was done. In her circle of friends, girls did not under any circumstances chase after boys. Lucky for Gabi, when her foster homes changed, her school and friends didn’t. She was still able to adore Eric from afar.
Gabi groaned aloud. That was childhood, this was real life, her life, and she was an adult. She’d played silly games with her husband trying to one up him for his flirting, for the horrors she’d imagined.
And she’d done it with the one man her husband considered a threat and hated. Didn’t he have the sense God gave a billy goat? Didn’t he know that she would never let Reggie touch her, not in that way? She hadn’t when she was dating him and she sure as heck wouldn’t let him make love to her when she was married. She’d only flirted with Reggie to show her husband how it felt.
Gabi had wanted to hurt Eric the same as she was hurt. His denial that he was not intending to sleep with Jamilla had given her little comfort. His hands shouldn’t have been all over her. Gabi had seen that with her own eyes. The knowing looks of pity she’d received from her friends since then hadn’t helped one little bit.
***
Eric was surprised to see his wife’s car in the driv
e. The way he’d acted before he left he’d thought for sure she’s have the police at the house. He hadn’t expected Gabi to wait for him. He wondered again if she’d had anything to do with Reggie not being at the club. It didn’t matter, he thought, and opened the door.
“You called the club?” he asked Gabi.
“Yes, Reggie wasn’t there.”
“Why did you call?”
“I didn’t want you to shoot him.”
At that Eric smiled.
Gabrielle held his gaze. “It wasn’t Reggie I was worried about, Eric. I didn’t want you in trouble.”
Eric’s hand slid in his pocket and he brought out the gun, looked at it, then at Gabi. He pressed the release button, holding out his left palm to catch the magazine. He handed it over to Gabi. Then he checked the chamber as per his usual habit. He was nothing if not disciplined.
After making sure the gun was empty, he handed it over to Gabi. “I need to sleep,” he said and walked up the stairs. Eric headed straight for the medicine cabinet and retrieved the bottle of sleeping pills. He dumped several in his hand and smiled, thinking of Gabi before he put most of them back into the bottle and swallowed only three.
As Eric felt the pills working, his mind traveled backward to the moment they’d begun fighting, when he was first trying to protect her, when she found him with Jamilla. Then he thought about finding his wife hugged up with Reggie, of all people, with Reggie’s eyes telling them both what he wanted.
The man hadn’t even had the decency to get upset when he saw Eric. And he’d done nothing to protect himself when Eric shoved him, just laughed. That alone had pissed Eric off royally.
But the crowning point had been when Gabi called Reggie’s name out when Eric was making love to her. Mistake, she’d said.
How the hell did one confuse Eric with Reggie? It had to have been deliberate, that much he knew, and they’d been fighting about it ever since.