by M. R. Joseph
They just stood there, panting in silence.
"How long, Casey? How much time do you need?" He pleaded with her. "Please, tell me. I can't take this, baby."
"I have no fucking idea, Carter! Don't pressure me! Next week, next month, next year, maybe never. I don't have a clue. Just... just go." He stood there and watched his whole world crash around him.
"Maybe, never? You don't mean that, baby. You're just upset, it will pass." He went to approach her but as he got closer she shoved at his chest and slapped his face. He felt the sting but still stood there firm until she yelled at him again.
"It will pass? You think it's so easy? You break someones' heart Carter. See how you feel after. I can't stand you smothering me. I need you to leave." Carter remained in the same spot. His legs, firmly planted. He went to approach her again. She backed away. "Get out now, Carter! Now Damn it! I don't want you here." She turned her back and he reluctantly walked out of the room. He went into the guest room and quickly packed his suitcase and gathered his things from the bathroom. When he was finished, he walked down the hall and passed Casey's room. He looked in to find her still standing in front of her window, looking out onto the street. She was silent. He walked down the steps and placed her spare key on the coffee table and exited the house. He had no idea where to go or what to do. He remembered Tommy was at Lyla's. He walked across the few lawns to her house. He knocked on the door. Tommy opened it and Carter collapsed in his arms sobbing. The war was over. Who ever said all's fair didn't know shit.
CHAPTER 12
Crazy Bitch
Casey rolled over in her bed and looked at the clock. She moaned at the time it read. Fourteen hours of sleep. She moaned and buried her face into her pillow again. Exhaustion had made a menace of any rational decisions she was to make. She didn't want to make any. Not right now. The only one she did was call out of work for the first time in five years. She told her supervisor that she had the full blown flu and she wouldn't be in for the rest of the week. Her eyes stung and her throat was dry and hurt. It was already Wednesday night and it had been a whole day since Carter had left. She struggled to get up and move to the bathroom. When her feet hit the floor she saw the broken bottles of perfume. The whole room smelled of Magnolias, and there were still chards of glass on the floor. She bent down to pick them up and one piece cut her. She ran into the bathroom to rinse it and check to see if there was any signs of glass imbedded in her finger. After she rinsed it, she looked up at her reflection in the mirror. Casey looked like a character in one of her favorite horror movies. Her eyes were swollen and streaks of faded mascara cascaded down her cheeks. Her pupils looked fixed and the whites of her eyes were crackled red in color. She splashed cold water on her face but it didn't help her case. She made her way back to her bed in order to sleep more time away. Not that it would do any good.
Casey picked up her phone from the bedside table and saw she had fifteen missed calls, mostly from Lyla. She didn't want to deal with a million questions from her, so she powered it down and pulled the covers back over her head.
Carter woke to the smell of stale beer and cigarettes. Tommy kicked his bed to stir him.
"Lond. Get up man. Rehearsal time. We have to meet Jake in an hour."
Carter rolled over and stretched. He rubbed his eyes with his hands and looked around at the hotel room.
"What time is it?" he asked.
"Almost 5."
"In the fucking morning. Leave me alone, Tommy. It's too fucking early."
"Five at night, dumbass. You've been asleep since midnight last night. Come on. Here's a coffee."
He sat up in bed and slammed his head against the head board. Tommy handed him and he sipped the much needed coffee.
"Fuck. Did I dream it all?" The reality of what happened between him and Casey set in.
"No, man. Sorry, but it happened. Wish I had a different answer for you. Now get up, and take a shower cause you smell like shit."
Tommy started to make his way out the door.
"Where you going?" Carter asked.
"I have to run an errand. Be ready in a half hour." Tommy disappeared.
Carter drug himself out of bed and stumbled to the bathroom. He turned on the shower and let the scolding hot water beat on his skin. He felt like he had been through a war. His muscles ached, his legs were like rubber, and he felt ill. He let the water wash over his face and he placed his hand on the cold tiles of the shower wall. Tears welled in his eyes and he banged his hand on the wall.
Casey didn't want him. She crushed his heart, told him to leave and that she had no idea if she wanted to marry him. What was he doing asking her so soon after finally being with her? He felt tormented by the timing of his poor decision. One after the other he did the wrong thing. He messed up nine years ago by letting his dick get in the way, he messed up by creating a friendship with her knowing he was deliriously in love with her. He cursed himself for not telling her when he could have. There were so many chances to do it but he failed. He failed himself and he failed her.
Carter got dressed and waited an hour for Tommy but he never came back. He tried his cell but there was no answer. He called Jake to ask if Tommy was there and he wasn't. There was no time to waste. The reunion was Saturday and they needed to rehearse all the covers they would be performing at it. Jake came to pick Carter up and he took him back to Chloe's house with him. He left a dozen messages for Tommy. Carter and Jake practiced as much as they could without him.
About an hour after they had arrived, a black car pulled up to Chole's and let Tommy out. He walked up to the garage like nothing was wrong. He was sweaty and he was acting stranger than normal for Tommy.
"Yo guys. You started without me? What the hell?"
"What do you mean started without you? We said six. It's almost seven thirty. We couldn't wait for you anymore. Jake had to come get me at the hotel. Where the fuck were you?"
"I had some stuff to do and I was temporarily detained. Sorry."
Carter was too tired to argue with him any further. He let it go and watched as Tommy sat with one leg crossed over his other on his knee, and it began to shake uncontrollably. Tommy saw Carter and Jake staring at him, so he stilled it with his hand.
They rehearsed for about an hour and finally agreed on the five songs they would perform. After they were done, Jake asked if he had heard from Casey. Tommy had filled Jake in on all the turmoil that had gone on over the past few days.
"No, I haven't heard from her and I'm guessing I won't be." He rubbed his unshaven face and sighed.
"Lond, I'm really sorry. I don't know what else to say except give her time. She'll come around," Jake said.
Carter stood up. "Yea well, I don't think she'll be coming back anytime soon." He stood up slowly. "I'm tired. I need to go back to bed. Jake can you drive me back to the hotel?"
"Wait! What? You want to go back to bed? Let's go out, Lond. It's early." Tommy stood and jumped around in a frantically.
"No, Tom. I just wanted to go lay down and watch T.V." Carter replied.
"Fucking pussy. Christ." Tommy shook his head in annoyance.
"Jake, drop me off at Bums, ok."
"Why don't you get a car, Lingetti?" Jake said.
"That's the first thing I'm doing when we get back from the tour." Carter told them.
They made their way to the car. Jake dropped a jittery Tommy off at Beach Bums and Jake dropped Carter off at the hotel.
Carter went into the room and fell onto the bed. He grabbed the remote and clicked to a movie channel. His phone was next to him on the bed and he watched it for awhile. Not knowing why. Maybe secretly wishing Casey would call to say she still loved him, or she would marry him, or talk to him about the weather. Anything. Just to hear her breathe would be good enough. He was a desperate man. He wanted to call her but he figured it would just push her further away. He dialed Lyla instead.
"Hi, Lond. Are you ok?" she asked.
"Yea Ly, I'm ok. Have you... ha
ve you heard from her?" he asked with a weary voice.
"No, honey. I'm sorry. She shut her phone off. I saw the light on in her bathroom briefly but that's about it. I'm giving her till tomorrow then I'm using my spare key to get in there."
"Good. I just want to know if she's ok."
"I know she was supposed to be at work but the car hasn't moved. It's just not like her to call out. I think this really threw her for a loop."
"Tell me about it. Can you just please let me know if she's ok?"
"I will as soon as I hear something. I promise. You sound tired Carter. You need some rest." He let out a sigh.
"I'll rest when I know she's ok. I'll talk to you later."
They hung up and Carter switched off the light, took off his shorts and crawled under the covers. Sleep overtook his body in no time. Lucky for him.
The smell of toast cooking and coffee brewing roused Casey from her sleep. It was Friday. Already. She opened her eyes and laid there for awhile trying to adjust to being awake. She threw her legs over the side of the bed to go downstairs to find out who the culprit was in her kitchen. She padded down the hallway and down the steps. She made her way to the kitchen. Lyla stood at the stove flipping an egg in a pan.
"Good morning, sunshine. So glad you decided to grace me with your presence. Coffee?"
Casey nodded yes and made her way to a stool at the kitchen island. Lyla poured her a cup of coffee and fixed it how she liked it. She handed it to Casey. She took a long, drawn out sip of the warm goodness and it felt good going down her throat.
"So, you look like shit." Lylas laughed and said.
Casey cleared her throat. "Well thanks. I'm happy to see you too, Ly. Why are you here?"
Lyla set a piece of toast and a fried egg on a plate and put it in front of Casey. She pointed to it and said, "Eat." Casey rolled her eyes and took a bite of the toast. She made a growling sound as she bit it.
"Tell me again, why your here." Casey asked in an annoyed tone and crossed her arms in front of her.
"I'm here because you need to get up and get dressed, we are going to get mani/pedi's and get something hot to wear for tomorrow night."
"I'm not going Ly. I'm staying here and I'm going to watch my dvd of the Royal wedding and have a nice quiet evening with Wills and Kate," Casey said dipping her toast in her egg.
"The fuck you are. Enough with you and those royal fucks."
"Hey, I happen to have an obsession with them and all things British."
"Yea, yea. I know. It's your dream to go there and live and work. I've heard it before, but listen up right now. Your life is not going to stop because you have to see him at the reunion. Tommy already spoke with him already about it. He's going to give you your space."
Casey face scrunched up and she looked at Lyla like she didn't understand what she was telling her.
"What? You spoke with him? When?"
"He came over to my house after the fight. He told us everything that went on. About how he asked you to marry him and how Jordan showed up and you broke up with him."
"What else did he tell you?"
Lyla didn't respond to her question. She went about washing a few dishes.
"Lyla answer me."
"He told us about the proposal and how you said no." She turned and looked at Casey perched up on the stool.
"Did he tell you how he ambushed me when I walked in after breaking up with Jordan? He wanted an answer right then and there Lyla. It was all too much. I couldn't handle it."
Lyla pulled up a stool beside Casey and grabbed her hand.
"Do you love him, Casey? The answer is one or the other."
Casey hung her head down and began to cry again. She fought it but the thoughts of how she felt when she was with Carter came into play.
"I do, Lyla. I do with all my heart but it was as though he smothered me with that question. I couldn't make a decision like that. I loved Jordan and I had just broken his heart. I needed time to process everything. It was too much, too soon. My conscience wouldn't allow me to tell Carter I'd marry him."
She sniffled and Lyla handed her a tissue.
"This is all so new to me. His feelings for me. I know he loved me but I thought it was like a little sister / big brother type of love."
Lyla started hysterically laughing that she almost fell off the stool. Casey looked at her like she was going mad.
"What the hell is so funny?"
Lyla slowed her laughter down a bit and wiped the tears from her eyes.
"You..." She wiped a tear from her eye. "You really think he loved you like a sister? Oh my God, Casey. How blind are you? That boy has loved you since he first laid eyes on you. All the times he came to your rescue. How he investigated Bo when he was suspicious of him cheating on you. How he just always seemed to be there to pick up the pieces. I mean, he let you stick him with needles when you were practicing your nursing skills. He's a six foot two man whose afraid of a fictional homicidal doll with red hair who kills people. Oh and by the way, who watches that shit with you because you love it, not for any other reason."
Casey sat there tongue tied. The clouds in her mind began to part at the realization of all the things Lyla had just said. He loved her all this time. Plain and simple. There was no breaking it down. Carter did all those things for her, not for his pleasure or satisfaction, it was all for her. Everything he had ever done was for her benefit. As she wished.
On this day, Tommy was on time and ready to rehearse. He was actually up before Carter. They took a cab to Chloe's house. Rehearsal went great and they were prepared for tomorrow night.
"Lond, you look much better today. Have you heard from Casey?" Jake asked.
"Nope. Ly said she was going to check on her today. I'll wait to hear from her. I'm going bat-shit crazy right now not talking to her. It's the longest I've ever gone without speaking to her and I fucking hate it."
"Lyla said she was going to get her up and out today. How about we go to Beach Bums for happy hour Lond? Just for a few? Jakey you in?"
"Yea, I'm game for a few. Come on, Lond. Just a few. Besides we have a long night ahead of us tomorrow." Jake turned to Carter and pleaded with him.
"OK. Just happy hour. Not that it'll be all that happy," he mumbled.
"You're a fucking bore ass Lond," Tommy said.
Carter didn't say anything. He just shuffled his feet towards the car, got in the back, and sulked.
Lyla got Casey out of the house finally. They had their nails done and bought new outfits. Casey did it reluctantly. Tomorrow was going to be what Lyla always called a 'Shit show.' Casey would have to face Carter at the reunion. She couldn't ignore him. She was in love with him, she just wasn't sure about the whole marriage so soon. The reality of Carter loving her wasn't something she anticipated. It came at her like a tornado and she was now the result of the aftermath of it all.
Carter, Tommy, and Jake made their way to Beach Bums for happy hour. They were greeted by the staff and the patrons like local celebrities which they kind of were. People patted them on the back and bought them beers. The air was warm and on the back deck, the salt water breezed through. It was a scent Carter always loved. One that smelled like home. That and the smell of Magnolias were home for Carter.
When the guys were standing around talking to people at the outside bar, a girl had made her way up and as Carter stood there he felt a long nail trail down his left bicep. He glanced over to find one of the hottest girls he had ever seen in his entire life. The girl had long, and I mean long, straight dark, dark hair that cascading down one side of her bronzed shoulders and blazing brown eyes. She was exotic looking. He couldn't tell if she was maybe Hawaiian or Tahitian but it really didn't matter. When Carter looked over at her, she licked her lips and totally eye fucked him. His brow shot up and he turned back around to focus on Tommy who was standing in front of him. Tommy just shook his head at Carter in a way that said, don't even think about it. This look coming from the King of Pussy. Carter knew
he wasn't going to act on anything with this chick. He loved Casey but the exotic creature continued to invade his space. She tapped him on the shoulder and held up a shot of tequila for him.
"Carter London, is it?" She handed it to him."I'm Marina. This is for you to congratulate you on all your success with the album and the tour."
Carter took it and raised it up to her.
"Thank you." He said blandly but appreciated the shot. They did it together then he turned back to Tommy and Jake.
The band that was scheduled to perform began to play. They were loud and the girl tried speaking to him again. She bent his ear.
"So I saw you guys when you were on tour in Cali. Stellar. Just stellar and hot I might add."
Carter kept his back to the bar and leaned his elbows on the top of it. The girl pulled at his arm so his ear was near her mouth.
"And you sir, let's just say, I needed a panty change after I saw you up on that stage." She licked his ear and Carter shivered, hot breath stinging his flesh.
Normally he would have flashed her his trademark grin and twinkled those blue eyes at her, but that was the old Carter. The one who loved Casey but knew she would never feel the same for him. The new Carter realized that she did love him, and all he needed to do was give her space. He would give her all the time she needed. He turned to her.
"I'm sorry but I'm seeing someone. I appreciate the shot and the support you gave us by coming to our show, but that is as far as it gets." He looked at her pouty lips and she crossed her arms.
"So your telling me that you don't want to take this." She swept her hand displaying her breasts down to her legs. " I could very easily make you forget what ever her name is."
Carter chuckled. "I'm sure you could but I'm not interested." The ballsy bitch then turned on her heel and with her hand placed it on the front of his shorts. She began massaging him. "Now let's see if I can start the whole concept of name forgetting." She breathed heavy in his ear.
"My cars out front. How about we get out of here and I give you the ride of your fucking life, Mr. London."