He cleared his throat “Nikki? What’s wrong?”
Her focus returned along with her anger. “Where do you get off interfering in my life? Nearly costing me my job? My job.” Her voice rose in pitch but she didn’t care. “The one thing I need in this world if I’m going to take care of my baby.”
“Our baby,” he corrected her.
“And my responsibility. So who appointed you sole decision-maker in something that doesn’t concern you?”
“Are you finished?” His sleepy-eyed gaze was gone, replaced by the determined look she knew too well.
What he didn’t realize was that this time she was equally determined. “No, I’m not finished.”
He reached for her hand, grasping her wrist before she could stop him. The heat of his skin caused an answering warmth to curl inside her. She fought against it, just as she planned on fighting his need to control.
His grip was gentle but remained in place. “Then let’s take this inside. It’s a quiet neighborhood and I wouldn’t want to alienate these people before they get to know and love me.” He grinned.
Nikki didn’t smile back. “Lead the way,” she said, not liking how those words sounded. The balance of power between them needed to shift in her favor and soon. She followed him into the house, but as soon as the door closed behind her, she yanked her arm out of his grasp.
He turned. “Come into the kitchen and we’ll talk.”
“Here’s fine with me.” She didn’t see any sense in coming inside, getting comfortable, or playing nice. Not when Kevin had gone behind her back and nearly cost her her job.
“I thought we could discuss this like civilized adults. Besides, you woke me out of a deep sleep and I could use a cup of coffee.” Without another word, he headed toward the kitchen.
“What would you know about civilized?” she muttered.
“I heard that. What can I get you to eat?”
Her stomach growled in response to the question. A good sign, Nikki thought, since lately just the thought of food was enough to sending her running to the nearest bathroom. Maybe the end of morning sickness was finally in sight.
She entered the now-familiar room to find Kevin standing by the fridge. “I won’t be here long enough to eat. I just want to set a few ground rules.”
He shrugged. “Suit yourself but I’m starving. Talk while I make breakfast” He opened the refrigerator and she glanced over his shoulder inside. What had been pathetically empty last time she was here was now well stocked. He pulled a carton of eggs and American cheese from inside, placing them on the counter. He grabbed a bag of frozen french fries from the freezer next. “Sure I can’t make you something?”
She narrowed her gaze. “Looks like you were expecting me.”
He shrugged. “Let’s just say I hoped.”
“I hate games.”
He met her gaze. Intense and focused eyes stared back. “And I already told you I don’t play them.”
“What do you call revealing my pregnancy, threatening my boss...”
“I didn’t threaten. I merely explained how it would be in his best interest to see you weren’t overworked.” He tossed his hands in the air. “I didn’t like going behind your back but you forced my hand. I couldn’t stand by and watch you work yourself too hard and for no reason...”
“No reason? Try self-preservation. Or another life that’s counting on me. Is that reason enough for you? Oh, I’m sorry, I forgot. You insist you’ll be there for me, so maybe it never dawned on you how important it is that I rely on myself. Just in case.”
Kevin narrowed his gaze, but she could see the hurt reflected there too. She hadn’t expected to feel guilty and resented the feet that she now did.
“I realize you have no reason to trust me but you can,” he said.
“After an underhanded stunt like you pulled last night, tell me why I should.”
“My father was a drunk,” he said without warning. He shut the refrigerator door behind him and turned to face her head-on.
She blinked, startled at his choice of subject. “You hinted at that once.”
“And my old man didn’t care who supported his habit as long as there was enough booze to go around.”
“Go on,” she said, obviously confused at the relevance. But her voice had softened, which meant he’d breached her defenses.
He stepped toward her. “My parents got married right out of high school. Because they had to. My mother had no life skills, no shot at a decent job. We never knew when one of the old man’s binges would start or how long one would last. Waitressing was the best she could do to bring in money.”
Nikki’s eyes remained locked with his. He felt curiosity and sympathy flow from her in waves. Unable to deal with the latter, Kevin figured he’d better just answer her silent questions.
“She worked because he didn’t. She didn’t take care of herself, didn’t have the time. By the time she did get around to a doctor, it was too late.”
“Kevin, I’m sorry.” Her slender arms wrapped around his waist and she tipped her head back to meet his gaze.
He brushed her hair back from her face. “I couldn’t handle it if something happened to you,” he whispered.
“Nothing will.”
He couldn’t do more than try to take care of her. But with her face turned upward, her soft lips beckoning, he wanted so much more. Self-restraint came at a great cost and but he managed to get himself under control.
Until she took the initiative, pressing that welcoming mouth against his. Her lips were warm and her touch seductive. He realized she was giving comfort, but that didn’t stop him from wanting, and without warning, softness turned to pure desire.
No longer tentative or hesitant, she touched her tongue to his lips and the kiss became harder, more demanding, carnal in its intensity. His hands gripped her waist and she molded her curves against him, creating unbearable friction against his already hard erection.
Kevin’s grasp on sanity was tenuous at best, but he’d been tested before and he’d failed. He wasn’t about to do so again. Not at Nikki’s expense. Pulling back was probably the most difficult thing he’d ever done and seconds later, his body still demanding release, he was amazed he’d been able to do it at all.
When he managed to focus, he found Nikki’s clouded eyes staring back at him. “Thank you,” she muttered.
“For?”
“Calling a stop to what would have been a serious mistake.”
He agreed, which was why he’d backed off first. But hearing her say it didn’t sit well with him. Bruised ego or something more, he couldn’t say. Or maybe he just didn’t want to know.
He ran a hand through his hair. “There’s too much unsettled between us to mix things up more.”
Her damp lips parted as she drew a deep breath. “I agree.”
He shifted positions and prayed for strength. Before he could gather his next coherent thought she pointed to the kitchen chairs. “Sit” Nikki slid into one of the chairs herself.
He shrugged and headed for a seat across from her, finding comfort in the barrier the old tabletop provided. “What is it?”
“Same as it was yesterday, and the day before that and the day before that. We need to reach an agreement, Kevin. One we can both live with. I need to go on with my life and you need to let me live it.”
As much as he hated to admit it, she was right. Approaching her boss had been underhanded. A move borne more out of fear than rational protective instincts. He could admit that much to himself. “You want me to back off.”
“That’s right”
He fought an internal battle. Trusting her instincts versus trusting his own. “I still don’t think the job’s good for you.” She opened her mouth to argue and he held up a hand to stop her. “Hear me out. You’re pale, for one thing. Exhausted for another.”
“And you heard the doctor. As soon as this morning sickness passes, I should be fine.”
“And in the meantime?”
“Not easily,” he muttered. He made his own hours, already had the security in place down at the warehouse, and he wore a beeper. If he got in to work late in the morning, no one noticed. But keeping bar hours and working a day job was beginning to catch up with him.
“If you go back to living your own life, nothing will happen to me. Let’s face it Kevin. If something were to go wrong, you couldn’t prevent it even if you were there.”
Leave it to Nicole—perceptive, intelligent, Nicole—to figure out the crux of the problem. “Maybe not, but at least I’d be there.”
This time. Did she say the words or did he merely think them?
Nikki reached out and grabbed his hand. “You can’t bring Tony back by making me your number one responsibility,” she said softly.
She could become much more to him than a responsibility, he thought. But she deserved better. “You’re not giving me a choice, are you?”
“I can’t stop you from hanging out at the bar, but I can promise to make you as miserable as possible.” A grin lit the edges of her mouth and in her eyes, he caught a glimpse of the old sparkle. She obviously sensed she’d won this round.
She had, but Kevin didn’t plan to go down without a fight. “You want your freedom, you want me to back off? Then I have some conditions of my own.”
SIX
One week without Kevin’s surveillance. Nikki set a last round of drinks down onto a table filled with lingering customers. She still wasn’t sure why Kevin had given in but she wasn’t complaining. Although she missed his presence, missed the constant flutters in her stomach whenever he was nearby, she was also calmer knowing she was relying on herself. Of course she still had to check in with him in the mornings and again after work—but it had been her suggestion, not his. She couldn’t see worrying him to distraction when a quick phone call would prevent it.
Nikki was working without Kevin’s constant presence and she considered it a battle won.
Even better, her boss had indeed been a prince. He’d spared her cleanup duty without docking her pay. And though Nikki didn’t like taking charity, she was smart enough about her situation to accept the favor.
She leaned down to stuff her tips inside her boots and without warning, doubled over in pain. Deep breaths didn’t come easily, but she forced air into her lungs, hoping the cramp was one of those growing pains she’d read about and would subside. But growing pains wouldn’t be in the center of her stomach, and this was.
And damn but she hurt. Nikki leaned against the wall for support and though she’d never have believed it five minutes ago, she wished Kevin were sitting in the bar, nursing a club soda.
The smell of cigar smoke wafted in the air, and reached her nose. “Jack?” Only the wall held her upright.
“You okay? Because I’m no good around sick people. Especially sick pregnant people.”
Somehow she managed to laugh. “Don’t worry. You don’t have to do anything except call nine-one-one.
* * *
The aura of déjà vu wasn’t pleasant. Kevin faced his father’s landlord, the same as he’d done too many times in the past. “I’m sorry about the mess in the hall. This should more than cover cleanup costs.” Kevin peeled off a hundred dollars in cash and handed it to the older man.
“But not the hassle,” the landlord muttered. Privately, Kevin agreed with him. But there was no way he was paying any more for his father’s drunken tantrum. Highway robbery wasn’t a precedent he intended to set.
“Max’ll help with the cleanup.” Kevin glanced back toward the hall, wondering how he’d keep that promise. He rubbed his burning eyes. He’d rather be sleeping than taking care of his father’s mess. “I’ll talk to him before I leave. And thanks for calling me,” Kevin said.
He headed for his father’s apartment at the end of the hall. The closer he got, the more the dank smell of the old, musty building mingled with alcohol. Memories of his childhood assaulted him, none of them pleasant. Without warning, he slammed open the door to the apartment.
“What the...” His father bolted upright on the old plaid couch. Recognition dawned in Max’s dark eyes, eyes that looked so much like Kevin’s own—except for the added red-rimmed, bloodshot appearance.
Kevin shook his head, wishing things would change, knowing they never would. If his father hadn’t sobered up when Kevin’s mother had been alive, there wasn’t a shot in hell he’d do it on his own.
“Hey, Kev. Nice of you to stop by. A week late for the old birthday but what the hell. I can always use an excuse to celebrate.”
Kevin stepped over a scattered pile of newspapers and an empty bag of chips. “Aren’t you getting old for this, Max?”
“Whatever happened to calling me Dad, or do you think you’re too old to show some respect?”
Kevin took in his father’s unbuttoned jeans and stained undershirt. He closed his eyes, but he couldn’t recall a time when memories of Max weren’t marred by alcohol or the older man’s self- pity. Couldn’t remember a time when his love for his parent wasn’t diluted by pain.
He faced his father once more. “Respect has to be earned,” Kevin said. So did the name Dad, but Kevin wasn’t up to the argument. His old man would never understand that it took more than the planting of the seed to make a man a father.
Kevin wasn’t sure what to do when it came to raising his own child, but he sure as hell knew what not to do, he thought, glancing at Max.
“Sit down.” His father patted the seat next to him on the couch.
Kevin shook his head. “It’s late. I should be in bed. Hell, you should be in bed.” He glanced at his watch. It was later than he thought. He hadn’t heard from Nikki before the call from Max’s landlord and he wouldn’t know till he got home if she’d checked in and was okay.
He shot a disgusted glance at his father. The emergency call that brought him here had distracted him from what was really important. Or at least more immediate. Max was important; he was just a lost cause.
“I promised your landlord you’d clean up the mess in the hall. What the hell were you thinking, smashing bottles against the wall? You woke the neighbors and...”
“I didn’t wake the damn neighbors, that was their mutt who wouldn’t shut his mouth.”
“So you figured you’d shut it for him? Ever think of picking up the phone and asking nicely?”
His father shook his head. “They don’t give me any respect either,” he muttered. “Damn young people think they’re better than me.”
Kevin rolled his eyes. For as long as he could remember, everyone thought he was better than Max Manning. “You look in the mirror lately?” He shook his head. “Never mind. You still have the janitor job in that office building downtown?”
“I’m on vacation.”
“I want you to listen good. You go grovel and make sure you still have that job. I paid your rent last week. It’s good through next month. After that I expect you to make the next payment on your own.”
Max rose from the couch, unsteady on his feet “You ungrateful... think you would have made it through the academy if it wasn’t for me and your mother?”
“Save the history, Max. You’ve got it wrong anyway.” He’d give credit to his mother for anything decent he’d made of his life, but it was no thanks to his father. Another argument he refused to have.
Max took two lunging steps forward and stopped. In the old days, Kevin knew he’d have taken a swing. But no longer. Not since the day a teenage Kevin had come home to find Max beating his mother. He’d taken his father out with one punch and the old man hadn’t touched him since. He never touched his wife again either, at least not to Kevin’s knowledge.
Ignoring him, Kevin headed for the kitchen and came up with a large green garbage bag. “Let’s go clean up. I’ll help.”
His father
grumbled loud and clear. Amazing, considering he’d thrown the tantrum that led to the mess. But working together, they got the hall cleared. The landlord would pocket most of Kevin’s cash and maybe clean the carpet with the rest. For the sake of the other tenants, that’s what Kevin hoped he’d do.
He led Max back inside. “Are you going to eat something?” Kevin asked.
“When I wake up. I need sleep.”
“That makes two of us,” Kevin muttered. “Remember what I said. Make sure you’re gainfully employed. You do that and I’ll help you out with the rent if you need it. But not if you’re out of work or the money’s going for booze.”
They’d had the same discussion before. Inevitably Kevin ended up bailing Max out of a jam, as he had tonight. But there wouldn’t be a next time. There couldn’t be. Kevin was tired of the routine and he wasn’t helping his father by aiding in his addiction. Silence followed and Kevin wondered if he’d made his point. He turned back to check on Max only to find he’d passed out on the couch. Shaking his head, Kevin headed for the door.
Half an hour later, he entered his dark house and hit the play button on the red-flickering answering machine. Within seconds, he was back in his car and headed toward the hospital emergency room.
* * *
Black hair fanned against white sheets. Nikki’s skin didn’t hold much more color than the linen. Kevin watched through a narrow pane of glass as a nurse took Nikki’s blood pressure and adjusted a belt over her abdomen. Although he told himself she was stronger than she looked, he couldn’t shake the nagging fear in his gut He tore himself away from the view and headed back to Janine in the waiting room.
Distance didn’t help. His palms were sweating and his mouth felt like he’d been chewing on cotton. Kevin hadn’t been this nervous since... hell, he’d never been this wound up. He ignored Janine sitting on the plastic hospital couch and paced the floor in the antiseptic waiting room.
Truly Madly Deeply Boxed Set Page 44