He did, until she was sound asleep and pliant in his arms.
Even then, he held on, running long, slow strokes the length of her spine.
He should tell her about their plan. It was concrete. With Anders’s help, it would be an easy in and out—all about the intel. He might be tempted to let out a little aggression on Chase, but he wouldn’t. This wasn’t about teaching Chase he was a stupid motherfucker. This was about something bigger.
Every time he thought about Olivia in that cage, he wanted to fight. His time in that fucking basement had taught him to live in his head—a dangerous habit now. It was pointless to think about what might have happened if he hadn’t been there. She’d been so weak—too weak and human to defend herself. And if they’d managed to heal her, what then? Would she’d have been sold off to the highest bidder? Sure, she’d have settled Chase’s debt to Cyrus, but what sort of life would she have had?
Olivia rolled over in her sleep, a soft growl grounding him in the present.
She was here, safe and sound in his bed and his heart. He’d make sure she had her vengeance—God knew she deserved it.
She rolled again, growing more agitated.
He laid his hand on her shoulder, watching the rapid shift of emotions on her face. Her dreams weren’t peaceful, but she’d have to face them alone. “Kick their ass, Olivia. Let your wolf have some fun,” he whispered, wishing he were there to see it happen.
...
She was following someone. Tracking something. There were prints in the snow. Her wolf scented the air, searching, reaching until she found the den. It was silent, but she knew what was inside. Oscar and the baby. And Jessa, too.
She glanced at the fallen tree that shielded the entrance, made sure there was no trace of her pack to reveal their hiding place, then ran—not wanting to bring attention to the den. She ran until she came to a clearing.
The hair on the back of her neck bristled at the howl that split the air. The white wolf was in front of her—teeth bared, blood staining his chest and nose, and near-colorless eyes fixed on her. There was blood on the snow. So much blood. There were more wolves behind Cyrus, many more. They watched her from the dark of the tree line, silent and ready.
If she fought, she’d have to win.
If she lost, the pack would be on her.
She charged at the white wolf, baring her teeth and tackling him. There was shock in his eyes, giving her the advantage. Instinct took over, lethal and swift. Before the wolf could regain his footing, she’d ripped his throat out. She stood over the body, pulsing with adrenaline. She threw her head back and howled over and over.
Her eyes popped open. She felt so awake and exhilarated she almost woke Mal. But the sight of him sound asleep and snoring on the pillow next to her made her pause.
Everything in her life was irrevocably changed. And, bizarre or not, she was happy for the first time in…maybe ever. Knowing her father was a mastermind criminal muted whatever positive childhood memories she had. And her brother’s willingness to sacrifice her for himself wasn’t exactly pleasant, either.
Unlike Mal.
Her life with him was more than she’d ever dreamed of. He filled the void inside, where something had been missing her whole life. She felt more grounded. She could do anything.
Including fight the big bad wolf in her dreams. Adrenaline still flowed in her veins—and it felt good.
Her wolf agreed. Olivia lay back, listening closely to her wolf’s banter. The wolf was proud of her for standing her ground and confronting—and defeating—their enemy. If push came to shove, her wolf promised there was nothing they wouldn’t do to protect those they loved.
The adoration she had for Mal and his wolf was unwavering and fierce. That was the way to feel about a life mate. Mal and the wolves, his and hers, were still concerned about Ellen. And Tess…was she a threat to the pack? Olivia couldn’t see how the woman was capable of anything diabolical. And yet, she did make her uneasy. Instinct told her something was off.
As happy as her wolf was, she was also sad. Mal was keeping a secret—a big one. He and Anders were going after Chase. His wolf wanted them to go, too, but Mal had shut him down. Shut him down and told him to keep it from her.
Coldness settled in the pit of Olivia’s stomach.
He’s trying to protect us. Her wolf was willing to defend him even when he was wrong. And he was. Dead wrong.
Finn, their alpha, had told them to wait. She was new at this wolf thing, but the chain of command was hard to miss. If Finn gave an order, she’d follow. Mal didn’t seem to have that problem. How could he do this? And why? Being a pack meant working together, not going rogue. That was the exact opposite of the whole pack mentality. But the angrier she got, the more defensive her wolf became.
She frowned at Mal, who was still peacefully snoring. He was going to split hairs over Finn’s orders, find a way to make this okay. It would be different if he talked to her about it. But, no, he was making decisions on his own which impacted all of them.
And he was going to leave her.
She waited for Mal to roll over then slid from the bed. Her arms shook as she tugged on more of Jessa’s hand-me-downs. Gray sweatpants and a gray sweatshirt to suit her gray mood. She brushed her teeth and hair and crept from the room, wincing as the door squeaked on its hinges. There was no winning an argument with Mal. Her wolf was too besotted with him. And so was she. But Anders was a different matter. She wouldn’t get all weak-kneed with him, so he was going to get an earful from her.
She walked into the kitchen, ready for a fight, and came to a complete stop. Jessa was hunched over, her face creased and her lips pressed tightly together. She was in pain.
“Jessa?” Olivia asked.
The woman straightened immediately, pressing her hand to her back. “Everything is aching today.” Her attempt at a smile was pathetic.
“Maybe a little more than aching?” Olivia asked, truly concerned. Her wolf went on full alert, ready to do whatever Mrs. Alpha needed.
Jessa was pale, slightly ashen around her eyes and nose. “I’m fine,” she said, waving her hand in dismissal. “Finn wanted you to join them in his office when you woke up. Mal coming?”
Olivia sighed, shaking her head. “Still sleeping.”
“Which is harder? Having a mate or being a wolf?” Jessa studied her.
“A mate.” No comparison.
“Really?” Jessa smiled. “What’s it like? Being a wolf?”
“I like it. Is it something you’re considering?” she asked. “After?”
“If I make it through this?” She answered Olivia’s unanswered question. “Yes. Definitely.” She pointed at the counter. “There are muffins and cinnamon rolls. If Anders ever finds a mate, he’ll impress the hell out of her with his cooking.”
Olivia laughed, taking a muffin and a cinnamon roll and heading toward Finn’s office. She could hear the arguing before she’d opened the door. She stood there, glancing back and forth at Ellen and Anders, who looked ready to face off.
“What did I miss?” Mal asked, his voice soft against her ear.
She jumped, dropping her muffin on the wood floor.
“Sorry.” He grinned at her and stooped to pick up the muffin, devouring it in three bites.
She glared at him before brushing past him into the office.
“Olivia.” Dante nodded at her.
“Good morning,” she said. “Maybe? I’m getting the impression something’s up?”
“No.” Finn sighed, looking at Mal. His eyes narrowed. “You know how I feel about lying, Mal.” He rolled his neck. “As you’re all aware, I’ve fucked up plenty. First infecting you, Oscar. Jessa. This baby. And I’ve owned it every damn time. I would never put you in harm’s way. What are you thinking?”
Mal stiffened.
“Putting yourself in danger, real danger, is selfish. And you know it.” Finn’s gaze shifted to Anders. “We are a pack. What one does affects the others.”
&n
bsp; Her heart ached as Finn voiced what she’d been thinking.
Mal’s voice was low. “We have an opportunity to get information—”
“Information? Is that all you’re after?” Finn cut him off. “Look me in the eye and tell me you’re not going to pick a fight. That if you see Byron or Cyrus, you’ll be able to walk away.”
Olivia looked at her mate, the struggle on his face making her heart hurt.
“You and Anders?” Finn shook his head. “No lookout? No backup?”
“We can do this,” Anders argued. “Ellen told us—”
“Stop.” Finn held his hand up. “We need to get one thing straight. I am Alpha. If I say we’re waiting on something, we fucking wait.”
Mal stared up at the ceiling, the muscles in his neck and arms clenched tight. If she weren’t mad at him, she’d go to him. But she was. Her wolf might want to nuzzle in and offer comfort, but she wanted to…to yell at him. He knew what could happen to him if he and Anders failed. Death wasn’t the worst thing the Others could do. Coldness seeped into her bones, smothering some of her fury.
“I talked to Ellen this morning, and I agree that there is an opportunity here.” Finn sighed. “Dante, Brown, and Gentry are ready to go.” He paused. “Dante will make contact with Chase. I need you to go, take point, and have their backs—in case something goes wrong. Not that I expect it to go wrong. This should be easy, right?” He looked at Mal. “Can you do that? Or are you too close to this.”
Mal blew out a long, slow breath, his posture easing.
“Anders?” Finn asked.
Anders nodded. “Definitely.”
“Mal?” Finn asked.
“I’m in.” Mal nodded. “We should have talked to you. It was a dick move.”
“It was,” Finn agreed. “But it won’t happen again?”
“No. It won’t.” Mal’s promise rang hollow in her ears. Finn might be satisfied with that, but she wasn’t. He’d said he needed it to be the two of them, that he’d never leave her, and he wanted her to be strong. His plan to go after Chase with Anders while leaving her safely with the rest of the pack was not only a lie, but an insult.
I never lie. Those words had made it easier to trust him, to let him in and believe she could do this whole new werewolf-life thing. And later, when she’d learned the whole horrible truth about his family, he’d promised never to lie to her.
Her heart twisted sharply, the urge to cry and lash out warring for control. Forgiving him wasn’t an option yet, no matter what her wolf—or his—wanted.
Not that he’d asked for her forgiveness, or acknowledged he’d done anything wrong. Instead of wasting all this pent-up frustration, she might as well find a way to let it out.
“And me? What am I doing?” She looked at Finn.
But his gaze bounced to Mal before he said, “You sit this one out.”
She did her best not to glare at Mal or Finn, or throw her cinnamon roll. He—they—expected her to sit by and do nothing? No matter what they said, she wasn’t part of the pack—not yet. Why else would Finn keep her here? Or was it for Mal, some sort of ridiculous “protecting the mates” thing? Whatever the reason, it hurt, and deeply wounded her wolf’s pride. She stared at her cinnamon roll. “We’re done here?” she asked, her voice hard. Space—she desperately needed space. Now.
“Yes.” Finn’s answer felt final.
“Great,” she said, turning on her heel and carrying her breakfast back into the kitchen. She wanted to run, to shift, or bite someone. Biting someone sounded extremely gratifying. Instead, she threw her cinnamon roll into the sink—hard.
The normalcy of Jessa winding up Oscar’s swing, talking softly to the smiling baby, grew stifling. Tess’s silence was deafening. How could she sit there, flipping through a nature magazine, tracing the pictures with her fingers, when the house was buzzing with energy? The pack was excited about their hunt.
A hunt she wasn’t allowed to join.
“You okay, Olivia?” Jessa’s brow creased.
“While they’re off on an important mission, we women get to defend the fort.” Olivia tried to tease, but her tone was hard and flat.
Jessa straightened, that odd tightening on her face again. “I’m happy for the company.”
Olivia swallowed her temper. None of this was Jessa’s fault. Considering the amount of stress the woman was dealing with, Olivia could keep her cool. Jessa was doing her best to act like she was fine, but Olivia suspected it was a brave front. And if Jessa could be brave, so could she. She sucked in a long, slow breath and tried to speak without sounding like she wanted to hurt someone. “Maybe you can give me a few cooking lessons—you know, to pass the time?”
Jessa nodded, smiling. “Oh good. I’m craving some chocolate mousse, and I have a pretty simple recipe.”
She forced a smile. “Sounds yummy.” It did. And, as she always was after earth-shattering sex with Mal, she was hungry. Making mousse would take care of that. But not her anger. If she was going to bond with her wolf, to hunt and fight and—if necessary—kill, maybe staying home to make chocolate mousse wasn’t the best idea.
Chapter Twenty-Two
“Got my big guns and my little guns,” Gentry said, all smiles. “And a few knives, too.”
“Knives?” Anders asked, grinning.
“A man can never have too much silver around them sons of bitches.” Gentry nodded.
“Then watch where you’re sticking them.” Anders clapped Gentry on the shoulder. “Our wolves aren’t too fond of the silver stuff, either.”
“Intel, Gentry, intel.” Brown expression remained stony, as always. “If done right, you won’t need weapons of any sort. I’ve got three shooters, all men I trust with my life, waiting to meet you when you land in Chicago.”
“Well, that sounds like no fun at all.” Gentry frowned.
Mal watched the exchange, wishing he could get as amped up as the rest of them. Instead, he was painfully aware of how absent Olivia was. She’d left the room without a backward glance and hadn’t been back since. Because he was a stupid shit.
“Get your head straight, Mal,” Dante murmured.
Mal nodded. Olivia was pissed. She had every right to be. But there was nothing he could do about it now. Now, he had to focus.
“About two hours from Jackson Hole to Chicago. No more than four hours there, then straight back.” He looked at Dante. “You can’t get a meeting or, if we’re really damn lucky, information on shipments, you walk. Understood? I don’t want this to turn into a fight.” Finn leveled a hard look at each one of them before continuing. “Mal, you and Brown’s recruits will take exits. You’re here,” Brown said, pointing at the rear door. “Two will cover the front. The other stationed here.” he pointed at a tower with a wider range. “In case. Gentry, Anders, and Dante are all going in.”
“They’ve seen Dante,” Mal argued.
“In Alaska,” Finn said. “If there’s one thing we know about Cyrus it’s that he keeps his pack regional. The chances of one of them recognizing Dante are slight.”
“I fucking hope so,” Dante mumbled. “But if not, I don’t mind taking a few of them down with me.”
Finn sighed.
“He must think you’re a big spender,” Ellen said as she sat on the corner of the desk. “He will want to impress you.”
Dante nodded again. “Wanna come along as arm candy?”
“No,” she answered.
“They’d know her,” Mal said. “It’s not safe.”
“You care?” she pushed.
“About jeopardizing the mission? Yes.” Mal snapped. He wasn’t really pissed at Ellen. She’d told Hollis. And Hollis, being who he was, had told Finn. In the end, this was better…except for Olivia’s reaction.
Focus.
“You have”—Finn glanced at his watch—“ten minutes before takeoff.” He glanced at Mal. “This can’t be about revenge.”
He nodded. Finn was giving him an opportunity to repair the damage he�
�d done. He’d shaken the trust his Alpha had in him. He owed Finn—and Olivia. His mate. The person he loved most. He’d lied to her. No matter how good his intentions were, it had been a jackass move and he knew it. Which meant he had ten minutes to say good-bye. He carried his bag outside to the waiting truck, tossed it into the back, and stared at the lodge.
“Wasting time,” Brown said, nodding toward the house. “Bad idea.”
Mal headed toward the front door, fully aware that they were all watching him. This was new for them. Hell, it was new for him. He wasn’t one for giving a shit about what other people thought. He still wasn’t. With one exception.
He pushed through the front door and went into the kitchen. Olivia, her hair slipping from the clip on her head, stood working amongst stacks of bowls, aggressively whisking something.
“Smooth?” she asked, peering doubtfully into the bowl.
“Yes,” Jessa said. “It’s all in the wrist.”
“Apparently, my wrist is faulty,” Olivia mumbled, blowing a stray hair from her face.
He could watch her all day.
“What does light and peaked look like?” she asked, glancing at Jessa. But she saw him, and everything about her changed. For one brief moment, she looked so goddamn happy his heart almost thudded out of his chest. But then her anger returned, and she tore her gaze from his.
“You know, I’m not really sure,” Jessa said, yawning, cradling Oscar in her arms. “Oscar’s finally out, so let me put him down, and I’ll come help you.”
Olivia continued to ignore him. “You rest. I’ll keep trying.”
“Need help?” Mal asked Jessa.
Jessa looked pointedly at Olivia. “I am fine. Just tired.” She stared at him. “You be careful. I get what you are doing, but it doesn’t stop me from worrying about you guys.”
Mal nodded. “In and out.”
Jessa sighed. “See you soon.”
Tess unfolded herself from the corner of the couch, nervously glancing his way before hurrying out of the room.
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