“What do you suppose my brothers think of me now?”
As Joshua poured a small snifter of brandy, he shook his head. “You needn’t worry about your brothers. They love you. They only want you to be happy.”
“They are not ashamed of me?”
“Why would they be ashamed of you?”
“Because I was not calling out for the man I am to marry. I was calling out for you, the gardener.”
Joshua helped her sit up and handed her the small shot glass. “Here. Drink this. Take this to follow up with. You may lose your breath, as you have not had spirits before.” He held a cup of cooled tea in his hand, waiting for her to drink the brandy. She swallowed the shot at once and took the cup of tea from him. The liquor had taken her breath away, just as he’d predicted but the tea going down her throat seemed to clear her throat in an instant. She shook her head and gasped.
“Oh my!” she lifted one hand to her cover her mouth and smiled. “That is really something.”
He grinned. “You are a delight,” he said. He took the cup of tea from her and set it next to the shot glass on the small table. “And you needn’t worry about your brothers being ashamed because you were calling out for me. They are fully aware that we have been friends for a long time. They know that I have been protecting you from harm since you were very small, even though I was older than you.” He reached out to take her hand, which he cupped between both of his own. “And your parents have taught all their children to respect the person, not the title. They don’t care that I am a gardener, any more than you care. You don’t care… do you?” He grinned at her.
“No,” she couldn’t help returning his smile. “I don’t. I believe that is quite clear by now.”
“It is.”
“However, you made it very clear that we cannot continue seeing each other in the same manner as we were. If you stay here to care for me, how will it help us stay apart?”
“It won’t.” Joshua looked at her with amused eyes. “That would not be possible, would it? But we are friends. We will always be friends. We must strive to make it remain that way and not go any further.”
Bella couldn’t help thinking that might be a little impossible. If she was calling out for the man in her delirium, it was a fact that he had her heart. Once her heart was taken, it would be nearly impossible to get back. How could she marry a man while another possessed her heart?
She didn’t speak the words but she was certain he could see her thoughts or at least had some idea what she was thinking.
“You love me, Joshua,” she said. “I know you do.”
“Of course, I do. How could I not? You are a beautiful, sweet, caring young woman. And yes, I know you mean a love that is forbidden between us and I cannot deny that. However, I am a strong man, a grown man, and I can handle it. I would never do anything to harm you. Nor would I do anything to harm your family. I will sacrifice myself to ensure the happiness of you and those you love.”
“You are such a good man, Joshua. I hope that I am able to be as strong and mature as you are. I want you to be near me all the time. And I truly don’t want to hurt Jonathan. I have much love for him, as well.”
“I know you do, my dear. He is a good man. If anyone is to have you as a wife, I am happy it is him. I noticed nothing about him that would make me suspicious of him. I was worried that he would be a brutish, uncaring man. From what I have seen, that is not the case.”
Bella licked her lips, feeling a soft fog filling her mind unlike the fog of her fever from the day before. “What time is it?”
He shook his head. “I don’t know. I am assuming it is sometime in the early morning. Perhaps 1 or 2? Why?”
“Jonathan has been gone for only a few hours. He has not even arrived in London yet. Why did he go?”
Joshua raised his eyebrows. “You do not know?”
“I know he told me. I don’t remember what he said.”
“His cousin, Lord Duffy, has gone missing. Foul play is suspected and he has gone in search of the man.”
Bella blinked in confusion. “His cousin was perhaps abducted?”
“Yes, that is the thought.”
“I do wish him the best of luck finding Lord Duffy. I cannot imagine how he plans to go about finding him. I wonder why anyone would do such a thing?”
“Oftentimes, it is because of money and power that men in Lord Duffy’s station are abducted. They are held for a ransom. Often, whether the ransom is paid or not, the victim is found dead anyway.”
“How horrifying.”
“Yes, it is.”
“Have you heard of many stories of that nature?”
“I have. Unfortunately, it was part of my father’s business to know about such things.”
Bella had not heard Joshua speak of his parents before. In all the years she had known him, she did not recall him mentioning either his mother or his father more than a few times.
“I thought your father was the gardener here and taught you what to do to take over the job?”
“He was. But in his youth, he investigated crimes.”
Bella raised her eyebrows in surprise. “He did?”
Joshua grinned. “Yes, he did. I will tell you some of the stories he told me, if you wish.”
“That would be lovely. As long as they are not too gruesome. I don’t want to be frightened to go to sleep at night.”
Joshua chuckled, reaching over to brush his fingers against her cheek, lovingly. “I would never do or say anything I thought would frighten you, Bella.”
Bella thought if Joshua wanted to be just friends, he would have to refrain from touching her in such a gentle manner.
“Please entertain me with a story, Joshua.”
“All right.”
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
THE CORNWALL BOYS TALK TO JOSHUA
THE CORNWALL BOYS TALK TO JOSHUA
Joshua pushed the dirt around with his hand, thinking about his conversation with Bella that morning. Not one to neglect his duties, he had asked Bess to stay with Bella so he could do his work for the day. He normally started much earlier than he had that morning, as he had stayed with Bella till the sun came up. He wasn’t getting a lot of work done as it was, his mind distracted by what had happened to Bella.
He thought back on the day before, wondering what Bella had eaten, if her illness could have been caused by lack of nutrition, but that explanation didn’t seem logical to him. Her sickness had come on too quickly to be caused by not eating properly. She had been perfectly healthy until yesterday. Or so it seemed to him.
He sat back on his haunches and looked at the flowers in front of him, not really seeing them. No one in Bainbridge was sick, that he knew of. It could not have been something passed on to her from a citizen. There were several frightening diseases out there, but none that had reached Bainbridge to cause any type of panic.
Jonathan had only arrived in London that day. Could he have brought something with him?
Joshua shook his head. He didn’t want to put the blame on Jonathan. It was not good form to blame someone for something that was not their fault, especially if there was a possibility he might be looking for something to blame Jonathan for. The man genuinely cared for Bella, it was obvious. Whether he was in love with her or not was another thing. Again, Joshua shook his head. It wasn’t for him to decide. He was determined to keep his feelings buried as much as he could. The woman he loved was betrothed to another and he needed to keep that in mind.
He tried to go about his business as usual but was finding it increasingly difficult.
“Joshua.”
He heard his name behind him and spun around to see that the four Cornwall sons were standing behind him, along with their friend from town, James Ellingham. James stood back, admiring the flowers, keeping to himself.
A sweep of nervousness passed through Joshua and he stood up, picking up his hand towel and wiping both hands vigorously. He nodded and took a few steps toward the brothers
, smiling faintly. Would he now be dismissed and banished from the property? He hoped not.
“Hello, my lords. I… I thought I might see you out here at some point. I…”
Nick held up one hand to stop his words. He pressed his lips together and nodded again, bowing slightly at the waist.
“There is no need for you to explain,” Nick said. “Shall we walk?”
If Joshua had not known the brothers as well as he did, he might have been worried about what the four of them would do to him. He nodded once more and turned in the direction Nick, Tyler, and Steven were headed. He noticed that the youngest brother, Cameron, stayed behind with James. They had fallen into conversation and apparently had no intention of coming along for the talk the older brothers were going to have with him.
“The feelings our sister has for you came as a surprise to us,” Nick was the first one to speak. Joshua stayed quiet out of respect. “We have always been aware that you care for her, but we did not know it was to the extent that it is. Did you know of these feelings?”
“I was not aware until very recently, my lord.”
Nick gave him a narrow look. “After all these years of employment, there is no need to be formal, Joshua. You have not spoken in a formal way for some time now; there is no need to start it up again.”
Joshua breathed a silent sigh of relief. “Thank you, Nick.”
“Has anything happened between the two of you that we need to know about?” Tyler asked, walking on the other side of him. Joshua looked up at the taller man. He wondered if the kiss he had shared with Bella had been reported by the driver of the carriage. He wanted to be completely honest with the brothers but it did not quell his anxious heart. He had stepped over his boundaries and he knew it.
“Nothing that should concern you,” he finally said after much hesitation.
“It sounds like something has happened. That was quite a pause before you answered. Please, if there is something, we should know. It would be better for us all.”
Joshua stared in front of him as he walked, not wanting to reveal it.
“I did not know she… felt the same way as I do… until yesterday. When I brought her home. I… I kissed her. It was not planned.”
“Did she kiss you back?” Tyler asked.
Joshua pulled in his breath and held it, nodding.
The brothers were quiet for a moment, putting their own pause in the conversation.
“She doesn’t have a lot of options at this point,” Tyler said quietly.
Joshua shook his head. “I am aware.” He was only somewhat surprised they didn’t have something harsh to say about the kiss. It was inappropriate, he knew. However, he couldn’t apologize for it. He would never be sorry that he had the chance to kiss the woman he loved at least once.
“She actually doesn’t have any options,” Steven said. He was walking slightly behind Tyler and pulled up closer to look at Joshua. Of the three, he was the one who looked the most disappointed, if not angry. “She is betrothed to Lord Humbridge. The lord is a good man and does not deserve disgrace.”
Joshua hung his head. “I am aware.” He repeated but in a softer voice.
Steven shook his head. “This is disappointing, Joshua. You have been taking care of her, protecting her from harm, and playing with her when she was little for many years. We thought you were simply a caregiver, keeping her happy.”
“I did not even know about my feelings until she became engaged to Lord Humbridge. It was then that I realized my relationship with her was to change and there was little I could do about it. I have been forthcoming with her and told her yesterday that I felt it best we stay away from each other as much as possible, so that she would not be tempted nor would I.”
Steven nodded. “That is wise, my friend. But it did not stop her feelings from being revealed.”
“We are concerned for her, Joshua,” Tyler said. “We want her to be happy. I must be honest with you; I had not seen that look on her face that she displayed when she saw you last night when she looks at Lord Humbridge. It was a look of pure love. She is in love with you.”
The words made Joshua’s heart sing and ache at the same time.
“I imagine it must be very difficult to know that you share these feelings but nothing can be done about them.” Nick said.
Joshua nodded. “I thank you for understanding. I do not wish to harm her or your family. I harbor no ill will toward Lord Humbridge. I thought him to be a kind, gentle, caring man. I did not mean to step in between him and Bella.”
“We know,” Tyler said. “We have known you for a long time. We have spoken on many occasions. We have come to think of you as a friend. Nevertheless, something must be done to resolve this situation. When Lord Humbridge returns, he will be expecting to marry Bella. She will not be able to turn away from him. We know her. Her heart is too soft. She would not have said she would marry him if she did not have love for him. That love will drive her to fulfill her obligations.”
“We don’t want you to think that she is obligated because he has title and position in London and you do not,” Nick added. “You are a fine man and a gentleman whether you have station or not. Her acceptance of Lord Humbridge’s marriage proposal sat well with our parents. They are willing to allow us to marry below our station. They have said as much in the past. But once the bond has been formed and the marriage is being arranged, it would not be right for Bella to back out at the last minute.”
“And with the events taking place right now, with Lord Duffy being abducted, if that is what has happened, it would be a devastating blow to Jonathan.”
Nick looked at Tyler over Joshua’s head. “Of course, if he is able to save Lord Duffy, it might not be as traumatic.”
Joshua was surprised to see the brothers smiling at each other. “Let’s not make excuses ahead of time.”
Joshua looked from one brother to another. Steven was not looking at him and his face was set in a serious expression, so Joshua could not tell what he was thinking. Nevertheless, it seemed from the attitudes Nick and Tyler were showing, they might be in favor of a marriage between himself and Bella. He pushed the hope down as far as he could, trying to reason with himself. Surely they were not thinking that it could be a possibility.
“What do you mean?” he asked curiously.
Both brothers chuckled. “You may not understand the love we have for our sister. We only want her to be happy. It will not be good if she is forced into marriage with someone when her heart is with another.”
“She won’t be forced into anything,” Tyler put in. “But she will feel obligated, so it will be nearly the same as being forced.”
“I understand. But if the situation were not as it is, you would be in favor of a courtship between us?”
Tyler and Nick smiled at him. “Of course, we would,” Tyler responded. “She is clearly in love with you and you are a good man, as we have said before. Our parents would not have been against such a bond. It is a shame that this was not discovered a few weeks ago. Mother would not be planning the wedding, not one with visitors from London, anyway, but one that would include the entirety of Bainbridge.”
Joshua felt a chill of acceptance. His love for Bella beat strong in his chest and his admiration for her family grew by leaps and bounds. “I thank you. I truly thank you.”
“Unfortunately, that is not the case,” Steven, ever the voice of reason, spoke up. “She is marrying Lord Humbridge in a short time. When he returns from London, he will not feel any differently than he does now. And she will be married to him. What then will you do, Joshua?”
Joshua chewed on his lower lip. “I will seek employment elsewhere if that is what you desire.”
Tyler snorted. “And we will lose the best gardener and a good friend because of it. That does not sound acceptable to me.”
“However, we don’t want the two of you tortured either. Especially not Bella. She is fragile and has always been delicate. She would be in pain.”
“She will be living in London,” Steven said. “She won’t be here except on holidays.”
“Perhaps.” Tyler nodded. “Perhaps.”
“This is something we must all think about,” Nick said. “Time will help us sort through this conundrum. In the meantime, Joshua, I do hope you will help us while Bella is sick. You need not worry as much about your duties here in the garden. Our main concern is that Bella recovers and is happy. Her happiness will help her heal quickly.”
“I will do my best,” Joshua said. “I promise.”
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
LUNCH IN THE KITCHEN
LUNCH IN THE KITCHEN
With a rumbling stomach, Joshua made his way to the back entrance, where the servants entered the mansion. It was closest to the kitchen and the door was underground, with steps leading to it from the ground outside. He took the steps down quickly and pushed the door open. He passed through the doorway and turned to close the door behind him.
He stopped when he heard voices in the kitchen area beyond the wall that separated the small foyer and the kitchen area. Heat passed through to him from the fires in the stone oven.
“She is really sick, isn’t she?” he heard Patricia saying.
“She is. I don’t know ‘ow it ‘appened.” Cook’s accent was strong Cockney. Sometimes it was difficult for Joshua to understand her because she spoke quickly as well as having a thick accent. “I will not be blamed. Twas not my food did this to ‘er.”
“No one is blaming you, Bett. I’ve not heard a word from anyone saying it was your food.”
Joshua moved around the wall into the kitchen and the women looked up at him. There was a table in the middle of the room. It was often covered with assorted food items, dough, plates, cups, and utensils but today it was set for a meal. He was glad to see it and took a seat where a table placing had been set.
The Lady’s Dangerous Love_The BainBridge_Love & Challenges_The Regency Romance Story Page 9