Bitter

by S. L. Romines

  “Are you okay?”

  I look up at Jax and somehow get pulled back into an easy comfort zone when he flashes that goofy lopsided grin at me.

  “I’m just trying to figure out why none of these parents haven’t invested in those child leash thingies,” I say as one mini spawn runs head first into my butt, nearly wiping me off the planet. Again, and again, and once more for good measure. “Hey! Quit ramming your big head up my rear, kid! Things, dirty, filthy, brown things come out of there.”

  The little headbanger looks up at me with a huge colorful round lollypop cemented firmly in his grip, the evidence of said lollypop smeared across his face.

  “Go find your mom and tell her to get her tubes tied.”

  “Easy, Vivian,” Jax says, trying to get between me and the boy. “He’s just a little kid. Let me see if I can flag someone down to find his parents.

  As Jax walks to the nearest Lost and Found station, the kid stares at me, sizes me up and shrugs his shoulders. He stands there a weird look flashes across his face. And before I can even prepare myself for his next move, the little creature reaches behind himself and picks his butt, only to bring his chubby little fingers up to his nose and takes a big whiff.

  “Kid, you’re disgusting.”

  As the kid continues to furiously lick his sucker, a woman’s nasally voice screeches towards us.

  “Leonard! Leonard! There you are! Mommy was so worried about you. Are you okay my little pumpkin butt?” The woman smiles at me. “I hope he wasn’t bothering you. Leonard is a bit rambunctious and tends to wander off at times. We thought this pretty sucker would keep him occupied.”

  I waste no time, reaching into my purse and pulling out the first bill my fingers latch on to. “Here’s a twenty, lady.” I thrust the bill at her. “Go buy one of those kiddie leashes and tie your little mini me to it. And, you might want to destroy your uterus while you’re at it. For the sanity of the entire human race, please do not populate the earth with another one of those ever, ever again.”

  The woman’s mouth opens and closes several times and she quickly snatches up little Leonard’s chubby hand and rushes off. My eyes narrow as the little creep looks over his shoulder and sticks his fat tongue out at me.

  “Hey!” Jax throws his arm around my neck, smiling like a buffoon. “Kid found his mom, huh?”

  I look up at Jax and try really hard not to punch him in the nuts. “Not a moment too soon.”

  “Why do I get the impression that you don’t like kids very much?”

  “They’re not my cup of tea if that’s what you’re asking.”

  “Bad experience?”

  I shake my head at his über dumb question. “Yeah, just now! That kid tried to crawl up my ass! Who does that? And his fanny pack wearing mother had no clue where the little tyrant was. She and her man seriously rethink having any more children.”

  “So I take it having any of your own is out of the question?”

  “Dude, have you ever seen what one of those,” I say, stopping in front of a toy store and point at a little baby parked in a stroller wearing mouse ears, “looks like coming out of a vagina? It is the most horrific thing I have ever witnessed in my entire life. When Cass had her little girl, she begged me to be in the delivery room with her. Apparently, she was afraid that hubby would pass out. Needless to say, when I woke up in the bed next to her the nurses told me that I went out like a light the moment the baby’s head popped out, hitting my own damn head on the doctor’s medical tray. Picture a small little human clawing its way out of something the size of a pea? Vagina holes aren’t very big, but man, once they’re stretched out to their maximum capacity, you might as well kiss your pussy goodbye. No, and thank you.”

  I hear a loud gasp from a woman standing next to the stroller who I assume is the baby’s mom. She has her hand over her heart and her look of disgust is clearly evident, stretching across her features.

  “What?” I ask, throwing my hands up, and then pointing at the woman. “Don’t even look at me like that. Face it, lady, you know after having that baby, your vagina probably looks like wrinkled roast beef curtains. So don’t kid yourself because…your vagina hates you.”

  Jax looks like he’s lost his damn mind, pulling me away from the toy store.

  “You are something else, Vivian.” Jax quickly hurdles me through a sea of people. “Your mouth really has no filter, does it?”

  “Why the fuck do I need a filter? Why? People should be able to handle the truth. And that woman back there knows damn well that her taco looks more like a crusty empanada.”

  Jax’s feet stop, firmly cementing to the ground. A roar of laughter escapes his lips as he doubles over. And once again, his contagious laugh has me laughing right along with him.

  As he takes several deep breaths— I’m assuming to calm his cackle— I look ahead of us a see the most beautiful structure ever.

  “Is that?”

  “What?” Jax asks, looking over to exactly what my eyes are glued to.

  “That.”

  “Oh, you mean Sleeping Beauty’s Castle?” he replies, fishing out his wallet. “You thirsty? They sell the most kick-ass lemonade at this place.”

  “Screw the lemonade,” I say, grabbing a hold of his hand, nearly pulling his arm out of the damn socket.

  My childhood wasn’t what you would call ideal. There were no stories of fairytales and princesses trapped in towers or even the one where the kids flew across the sky and played in a place that you never aged. I didn’t have that shit as a child. There was never an opportunity to play dress up like the other girls in my school or have make believe tea parties with plastic cups and saucers, big hats and pretty pink boas. My childhood was anything but special. Home baked cookies didn’t exist in my kitchen and I never came home from school to find my mother wearing a blue polka dotted apron with a smile on her face. That shit just wasn’t my reality. My childhood reality was what childhood nightmares were made of. And the only reason I have the slightest clue about this place or the things that inhabit it is because of Kyle, Cass’s little girl. I guess you can say that I vicariously relive my childhood through her.

  I stop in front of the castle, bending my head back to take it all in. I notice a family off to my right, just off to the side of Jax, and my stomach sinks. They look so damn happy taking a family picture in front of it. A shot of anger instantly bubbles up inside of me when I feel hot tears dot my fucking lashes. I wave Jax off as he gets closer to me no doubt noticing. “I have to get out of here.”

  I make it just a few feet when I feel my arm being tugged and my back planted firmly against the wall. Jax holds me in place even though I wiggle like hell to get out of his grip. The fucker is strong but my knees can do some pretty good damage.

  “What’s wrong?” he asks, his eyes searching mine for any answer.

  I look away when tears start to run down my cheeks. I hate emotions, especially when it proves I have heart strings. Somebody should’ve severed those bitches at birth.

  “Vivian, please tell me what’s wrong.”

  Again with the fucking concern. Why does this guy feel it’s so important to worry about my feelings? With his eyes narrowed he bites his bottom lip and I instantly want to tell him everything. Maybe I should. Maybe then he’ll walk away. I want him to not want me. I want him to get so damn pissed off at me that he tells me to go fuck myself. I want these things…because it will happen anyway.

  “Why did you bring me here, Jax? Did you want to see me like this?” I suck back tears and snot, wiping the ugly mess away with the back of my hand. “Do you like seeing me like this? Because if you do, you can go fuck off for all I care.”

  Jax moves closer to stand in front of me— mere inches from my face— before he slides his hand to gently cup my cheek. He places a soft kiss on my forehead.

  “To see you smile, Vivian.”

  And just like that, as soon as Jax’s lips touch mine, every bit of sadness disappears. I melt into his k
iss, his touch. It’s so easy to get lost in him. And I do each and every time.

  “You don’t have to tell me why you’re upset,” he says, kissing me once more. “When you’re ready, or if you’re ever ready, I’ll be here. I’ll listen.”

  I look into his eyes and he smiles at me. It’s genuine. It’s not full of bullshit and uncertainty. It’s real. He’s real. And at that moment, I’m convinced that he is one of the good ones.

  “Now,” he says, cupping both of my cheeks, “let’s get on a damn ride already. What do you say?”

  I sniff back the last remnants of tears. “Okay. Let’s do this shit.”

  It doesn’t take us long to get to the ride that Jax says is his favorite in the park. And I have to admit it’s kind of amazing to look at. The entire attraction looks like it’s been built within a mountain surrounded by trees. Walking directly in front of it I watch as a log filled with people races down a large waterfall. My adrenaline immediately starts to run.

  “We’re going down that?” I ask Jax.

  “Yes, yes we are and is that a smile I see?” he replies, grabbing my hand and bringing it up to his mouth. The kiss is soft and literally sends my heart into a fucking tailspin. “I knew there was one in there somewhere.”

  “The bitch was hiding,” I reply, leaning my head against his arm.

  “Well, next time tell her she should come out to play more often. I love having her around.”

  “Do you know how absolutely corny you sound?”

  Just as I throw the F-bomb a man looks over at me, his eyes sharply narrow, as he covers his little girls’ ears. Looking at the kid sifting through her unsuspecting dad’s wallet, I know it isn’t going to be long before she’s cussing like a sailor while being arrested for theft. Way to go, dad! You’re raising a winner! And the guy has the nerve to cock his brow at me?

  “You should check your shit, dude,” I tell the jackass. “Looks like baby girl might have sticky fingers.”

  The man’s eyes widen almost comically. I seriously wanted to laugh in his face as he looks down at his daughter’s shit eating grin, holding not one, but three twenty dollar bills in her hand.

  “Filter, Vivian.” Jax tugs me along. “Big ass filter.”

  “The guy’s a douche. Look at his douchey clothes.” We both take a good look at the dude all decked out in a pair of waist high checkered shorts, a t-shirt so tight that it looked small enough to fit his little girl and a hat that had two naked ladies on the front of it, much like the ones you’d see on the back mud flaps of a trucker’s big rig.

  Jax and I look at each other and say at the same time. “He’s a douche.”

  Just as we pass Douche Man and Baby Thief we end up at the entrance of the log ride.

  “Fuck shits on a cracker!” I blurt out, only to get the attention of every soon-to-be rider. I look up at Jax and see him mouth the word “filter” and then smile a big toothy grin. I lean in closer to him and decide to quietly ask, “Are all the lines for these rides this long?”

  “It depends. I guess,” Jax says with a slight shrug of his shoulders. “And it’s a good thing I got us Fast Passes, now isn’t it?”

  “And that’s why you’re my new hero.” I pat Jax on the back.

  Fifteen minutes later…

  “I cannot fucking do this! Get me off, Jax!”

  “Gladly, baby,” he says with a wink, “just as soon as the ride’s over.”

  I turn my body, attempting to smack him in the gut and fail miserably, quickly grabbing onto the lap bar once we start to move. The ride continues its slow trek around the fake mountain, dipping slightly here and there. Sick to my stomach doesn’t even come close to how I’m feeling right about now. Jax insisted that I sit up front, and after that hot as fuck smile he flashed me, how could I say no? I’m an asshat. A complete asshat. And now I’m going to die on this ride at the happiest place on earth surrounded by fake bears on a fake mountain with fake trees. My headstone is definitely going to read, “What an Asshat.”

  “When we get off this thing I’m going to castrate you, Jax!” I scream over the silly ass music playing all around us.

  I squeak, an actual fucking squeak, when Jax leans up close to my ear, scaring the ever-loving shit out of me and says, “Then how will I get you off?”

  Just as my pussy decides to do a happy dance at his fuck hot innuendo, the log begins its uphill climb. Click. Click. Click. My heart can’t take it. It’s too much too fast. I am voluntarily climbing to my death. And Jax is a dead man. He’s a total…

  “Hell yeah!”

  “Holy fuck!”

  “Woo Hoo! I live for this shit!”

  “I’m going to fucking die! I’m dying!”

  Splash! Sploosh! Splash!

  “That was awesome!” Jax yells out behind me. “Wasn’t that great, Vivian?”

  I can’t look. I will not open my eyes. I’m completely drenched, and I will not open my eyes.

  The sound of the ride coming to a stop and the lap bar releasing causes me to slowly open one eye. I look down. I look to either side of me. I’m still alive.

  “Please exit to your left and have a great day!”

  “Fuck your great day, lady!” I sneer to the young blonde operating the ride. “This thing is a fucking death trap. I almost died! D. I. E. D.! Died!”

  I can’t get out of the log fast enough, and when I look over at Jax smiling like a total fool.

  “I told ya that ride was the shit.”

  I walk up to him and cross my arms over my chest and give him the proverbial stink eye.

  “I almost died, Jax. Died!”

  My feet move before he has the chance to respond like there is anything he can say to convince me otherwise. I make my way to the exit, bumping some kid out of the way as I go.

  “Vivian! Vivian, wait!”

  He sucks. He sucks big walrus balls and nothing he can say will ever get me to like him even a fraction ever, ever, again. Why? Because he sucks!

  “You could’ve killed me, Jax!” I yell, turning to face him and jabbing a finger in his chest. “You!”

  “Um,” Jax holds his palms out in front of him and purses his lips. “…technically it wouldn’t have been me that would’ve caused your death. And why are you freaking out so much over it anyway? Little kids ride that ride…and love it!”

  “Well, I’m not some little snotty nose kid. That thing scared the crap out of me!”

  “Don’t you think you’re being a little over-dramatic? It wasn’t that bad.” Jax looks at me, tilting his head to the side and narrowing his eyes. “What’s the real reason you’re so freaked out?”

  I shake my head.

  “C’mon, Vivian. Spill it.”

  I shake my head again while looking past Jax.

  “Quit acting like a baby and tell me.”

  And another shake of my head.

  “Fine. Whatever.”

  I watch as Jax starts to walk ahead of me and I feel deflated. A loser to be exact. If I’m being honest it’s a dumb ass reason to be so mad. But why should he know what’s really bothering me? I stand in the same spot and watch as children laugh and giggle their way to a ride here and a ride there and I instantly remember that I didn’t have this growing up. If I’d experienced all of this as a kid then maybe this shit wouldn’t freak me out as much. Maybe my twenty-five-year-old ass would be laughing and giggling right along with them.

  “I’ve never been on one of those before,” I say but Jax is entirely too far ahead of me to hear me.

  As he continues to move his feet, I huff in frustration and follow behind him. When I finally reach him I grab onto his forearm and he stops. He doesn’t look at me and it sort of makes me uneasy. I move to stand in front of him, letting out a huge sigh. Looking down, I shake my head.

  “I’ve never been on one of those before,” I quietly say just so only he can hear me because, let’s face it, that kind of shit is embarrassing. “Actually, I’ve never been to an amusement park…ever.
”

  “Never?” Jax replies. He gently slides his finger under my chin and tilts my head back. “Do you trust me, Vivian? Because if you don’t, this will never work. But if you do, I promise you will enjoy every minute we spend together.”

  “Yes. I trust you.” And I do. I can’t explain why because every other man in my life has failed to earn my trust except for this one. “Yes.”

  Jax smiles down at me, leaning in to place a gentle kiss on my lips. Sexy fucker.

  “Good. Now let’s see what other trouble we can get into!”

  Chapter Six

  The rest of the day had gone on without a hitch. I’d even managed to get on four more rides, one that included pirates and another that had me wanting to call in a lifeline as we twirled around in some possessed tea cups. That was wicked intense. I will have you know that I’ve not cussed at any children in the last hour but their parents didn’t fare so well. Even when a set of twins pushed me out of the way— so they could get to some haunted house— I bit my tongue and inserted an enormous filter. I think I may have even eaten my weight in Divinity.

  By the end of the night my dogs were barking and I think I developed a corn on my right pinkie toe. We even decided to go back to the evil log ride to get the photo that was taken of us as we plunged to our deaths. Needless to say, I was not impressed. In fact, in my opinion, the damn thing needs to be torched. Jax says he’s going to frame it and take it with him when he leaves the states. Just thinking about him leaving has my guts tied up in knots. And at this point, I’m not sure how I’m going to handle that.

  “Parking’s this way,” I say to Jax as he completely bypasses the parking lot. “Where are we going?”

  “Well, we’re not driving back this late. My ass is tired,” he says. “I booked us a room at the park’s hotel.”