An insane impulse to wave and yell, “Hi, Mike!” gripped her, and she tightened her fingers on the steering wheel, a physical effort to control her insanity.
She had to be losing her mind.
Mara was still talking in the background.
“I’m sorry,” Lily said. “I missed that last bit.”
A sigh. “What was the last thing you remember?”
“The part about the boxes for the cookie favors.”
“Okay. They were the right style of boxes, but you’d have had to stuff your niece or nephew inside to fill one up,” she said, then—darling she was—kept up the chatter until Lily pulled into Riley’s driveway, where she recognized every car, truck and unmarked police cruiser crammed in the circular drive.
“I’m here.”
“You good?”
“I am. Bless your heart, Mara. Thank you.”
“Good luck, then. I hope you find the barn in tip-top shape and you don’t have to do a thing but order everyone around.”
Lily actually laughed—it was a weak, fragile sound, but a laugh nevertheless. “Talk to you later.”
After disconnecting the call, she reached in the backseat for her bag. She would have changed at the office had she not been in such a rush to get out. Knocking on the porch door, she waited. No one answered.
“Hey, people,” she called out, trying the latch. Finding it unlocked. Lily let herself in, calling out again. Apparently everyone was at the barn. She changed into jeans and sneakers in the guest bathroom and headed out to join her family.
They’d turned decorating the barn into a party, too. Before she’d even gotten through the stable gate, she could hear the music blaring. Lily couldn’t say she was surprised. Not with her family. Any excuse to be together and have fun.
They have their priorities straight. That Max had recognized the importance of family spoke volumes about him, about what he valued. She didn’t want to know what it said about her. She let herself through the stable gate and crossed the paddock, the music growing louder with every step. Her sense of being a stranger was growing, too. So this is what she’d become in the years since she’d left home—a woman who arranged other people’s weddings.
Always a bridesmaid, never a bride, as the old saying went. Only Lily wasn’t even the bridesmaid. She was grunt labor.
Shaking off the thought, she headed toward the big doors that had been thrown wide open, activity beckoning from within.
Lily shouldn’t have been surprised to find Max inside with the family. She spotted him first, up on a ladder washing a shelf. He wore a pair of low-slung scrubby jeans that didn’t do a thing to make him look any less attractive.
“Lily Susan.” Mom spotted her. “I told you we’d all help you.”
Mom didn’t look much different than she always did, with her hair wrapped up in a kerchief and an apron around her. Lily gave her a kiss.
“And I appreciate everything you all do.”
Everyone was engaged in some activity. Even the kids were hard at work, with Camille and Madeleine placing long-stemmed artificial flowers in the milk cans that Lily had salvaged to use as decorations.
“Wow, the place looks great,” Lily said.
“Glad you’re here. Mom’s giving orders like a tyrant.” Caroline cast a worried glance around, clearly making sure their mother wouldn’t overhear, which was unlikely given the volume of the music. Carrie Underwood. “But I want to know what we’re going to do if the temperature drops. We’ll freeze in here.”
“Pshaw.” Lily waved her off. “Not a chance. That’s why the wedding’s during the day. We’ll be out of here before the sun sets, and once the fresh hay gets here, we’ll have plenty of insulation.” She reached inside her bag for her ever-handy notepad. What would her life be without her lists? “I suppose I could order some space heaters in case.” She’d have to bring in the appliance people to find out what would work safely in this environment. She didn’t want to burn down the barn.
God, no more fires at weddings. She could see the headline already.
Is the Antibride burning a path straight to hell?
And not with Max and Riley on the premises. Neither would miss a detail and the Herald would get an exclusive.
Caroline shrugged. “Did you check the weather forecast?”
“Sixty-nine and sunny.”
“Then we should be all right.”
“Here’s hoping.” Lily hung her bag over a railing and surveyed the area. She had to come up with a floor plan before the rental company delivered the tables. They were scheduled to arrive in the morning. Now that the barn was cleared out and the dilapidated tractor and rusty equipment gone, she could actually see the space she had to work with.
“Camille, Madeleine, I need your hands,” Mom called out. “Come help me with these lights, please.”
The two raced to her assistance, and Caroline laughed. “The girls are so helpful. Not so much with the boys. Scott took Brian and Jake with the horses to graze at the stream.”
A pond or a stream.
“This was such a brilliant idea, Lily Susan.” Riley kissed her cheek, curly hair contained with a bandanna, a beaming smile on her face. The perfect bride. “I want you to be the first to know that we’ve decided to turn this into the party barn. We’re kicking off a new tradition with the wedding and every year we’re going to host an annual Halloween party here. Mark your calendar to make sure you’re in the country.”
“Will do.” Lily laughed. “So that’s how you’re getting around the twins and the Halloween party.”
Riley nodded. “It’s all about compromise and negotiation. We can meet everyone’s needs if we make the effort.”
“Glad to hear it. Although I’m not convinced Jake won’t show up in costume. He wanted to wear his baseball uniform.”
Caroline gave a snort of laughter and Riley shook her head.
“That’s a good thing. He was attempting to compromise because I want him to wear a suit and he wants to wear his Halloween costume.”
“What’s he dressing up as this year?” Lily asked.
“A sumo wrestler.”
“Should have let him wear it,” Caroline said before taking off with her spray bottle.
“Would have made for some interesting photos,” Lily agreed. “Don’t have any of those on the website.”
“Yet, right?” Riley grinned. “You do have an office in Asia.”
“I’ve got to figure out the table layout first.”
“Do what you need to do and work your magic. We’ve got the rest under control.”
“Not yet, you don’t,” Joey’s voice boomed over the music. “Not until I’m here.”
“You’re late,” Max yelled from across the barn. “Work’s all done. You missed it.”
“Damn shame that.” Joey shrugged. “Got busy at the store. Couldn’t get out until now.”
“Glad to get you whenever we can have you,” Riley said.
“Thanks for helping,” Lily added, about to hug him.
Joey leveled a cool gaze her way. “You don’t have to thank me, Lily Susan. I’m here because I’m part of the family.”
I’m not here for you.
That was the implication, anyway. Riley frowned at him, and Sarah made a beeline from across the barn. But Lily knew her brother. She knew if he hadn’t backed down by now, he wasn’t going to. Not until he’d had his say. He’d continue blasting her with hostility whenever he got a chance.
She was going to have to deal with him eventually, so her choices were before the wedding or after. She was tired of tiptoeing around him. “What’s the problem, Joey?”
“Which one?” he grunted in a voice that seemed to barely contain his anger. “The fact that you can’t make the time to visit your family? Or that you got engaged to some guy and couldn’t be bothered bringing him home to meet anyone? Or that you expected us to fly all over the damned world to attend your wedding to some guy we’ve never met? Or that you don�
�t say one word about how you’re doing after you cancel the wedding? Or that you don’t care that your parents are worried about you? Or that you’ve got an internet stalker you’re involving the law with but didn’t tell anyone about?”
All Lily’s energy seemed to drain away that fast. God, she was tired. Maybe her iron was low? Anemia could certainly explain the way she felt.
“Oh, wait,” he added, his tone dripping with sarcasm. “You could tell Scott and Max, but the rest of us had to read about it in the newspaper.”
Sarah appeared at his side and placed a hand on his arm, a silent plea for him to stop. She looked stressed, and he didn’t even glance her way.
“I’m sorry,” Lily said. “You shouldn’t have had to read about this in the paper, but please try to understand. I’ve had a lot going on since coming home. I’ve barely seen anyone let alone had time to catch up when all I’ve been doing is work.”
“All you’ve ever done is work. What’s new about that?”
“Cut her a break, Joey,” Sarah said. “She’s busy and tired.”
Caroline and Mom came over.
“Calm down, Joe,” Mom said. “Now’s not the time.”
He shrugged off Sarah’s hand. “I’m not going to calm down, and I’m not going to cut her a break. She doesn’t give a damn about this family or about how everyone’s worried about her.”
About how he was worried about her.
It was all over him, in his hurt anger, in his frustration. In the vein throbbing in his temple.
Riley vanished, herding Camille and Madeleine past the knot of adults. Lily could overhear her telling them, “It’s okay. Uncle Joey’s just upset.”
“I’m sorry,” she repeated. “I wasn’t trying to keep the situation a secret. I’ve refused to give some anonymous blogger a lot of my attention. Unfortunately, I was finally forced to do something. I asked Scott for his opinion, and he gave me good advice. I acted on it. That simple.”
“Lily Susan didn’t know an article was going to run in the Herald,” Max said, the voice of calm reason.
She knew exactly what he was doing—running interference. She gave him a quiet smile over her shoulder, so he knew she appreciated the effort. Not that it would assuage Joey.
“I don’t understand what’s wrong with you, Lily Susan. Don’t you care?”
Sarah made another attempt to drag him away, but when he shrugged her off, she tossed her hands in the air and stormed off. “This is uncalled for.”
Caroline whispered something to Joey that Lily couldn’t hear, and he visibly relaxed a little, enough so that it didn’t look like that vein in his temple might burst.
But Lily hated the way she felt. Joey and Caroline, her big brother and sister. Joey and Caroline. Mom and Dad. Lily and Mike.
Not anymore.
“Of course I care,” she said. “I kept my problems to myself because I didn’t want to worry anyone.”
“What are you talking about? You don’t think everyone’s been worrying about you anyway? Engaged to that loser. Canceling your wedding. You never come home. Mom and Dad have to chase you when you’re in the country to make sure you’re still alive. It’s like you’re not even a part of this family anymore.”
“That’s enough, Joey,” her dad’s voice bellowed from behind her, loud enough to make her jump. “You shut your big mouth and you do it now. You hear me?”
Lily knew that tone. So did Joey. He scowled but finally shut up.
“It’s okay, honey-bunch,” her dad said, coming up next to her and patting her shoulder with a beefy hand, a strong, familiar hand that was always so capable at handling everything from tools to wiping away tears.
And in that moment, standing there facing all of them—her angry brother and everyone trying to calm him down, demand order or run interference… It hit her.
Joey was right. She didn’t feel a part of this family anymore.
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
MAX STOOD in the middle the family he loved, not sure who was more upset right now. Big Joe and Joey both looked ready to explode. Rosie and Caroline were trying to calm them down. And Lily Susan…
She’d stepped away, but that small distance appeared to be a chasm between her and the people who loved her. The people she loved. Her media facade was in place, her face so unreadable… Max knew from her sheer lack of expression that she was hurt. He couldn’t say how he knew, but he wasn’t wrong.
The urge to go to her, slip an arm around her waist and nudge her closer to her family gripped him. He wanted to be the one standing beside her. It was a crazy impulse, one that wouldn’t be appreciated by Lily Susan or Joey at the moment, so Max did the only thing he could to diffuse the tension.
“Come on, Joey.” He grabbed his jacket from where he’d hung it over a stall rail. “I need stuff at the hardware store.”
Joey was so entrenched in the moment that it took a second for him to realize Max had spoken. “What about the store? What are you talking about?”
“We need to run to the hardware store,” Max repeated. “I need sprinkler heads.”
Joey shook his head as if he wasn’t sure he’d heard right. “You have a groundskeeper who maintains your irrigation system.”
“Yes, I know. His name’s Karl. He asked me to pick up sprinkler heads.”
“Yeah, and you want some PVC, too,” Big Joe said. “It’ll take some time to figure out what you need, but it’ll save you the extra trip.” Code that translated into: keep Joey away for as long as it takes him to calm down because if I get my hands on him…
“We’ll get PVC, too. Joey, we’re out of here.” Max glanced at Rosie. “You’ll keep your eyes on Madeleine until I get back?”
She waved him off. “I’ve got her. No worries. Just get that immature Joey out of here right now. You have my permission to beat him if he doesn’t calm down.” Narrowing her gaze at her eldest son with a look that should have killed him on the spot, she added, “Riley took the girls to the pond if you want to let Madeleine know you’re leaving.”
“Thanks. Let’s hit the road, Joey.”
For a moment, Max thought Joey might argue and stand his ground, but he finally tossed his hands in the air, and scowled at Lily Susan, whose expression had been set in porcelain.
That distance was her defense, Max realized. An invisible wall between her and the world. He’d seen it firsthand at the airport when she’d been swamped by reporters.
The woman he’d come to care about was behind that wall. Did she feel ganged up on? By people who were worried about her. She stood her ground, didn’t let anything slip through that careful mask.
He didn’t get a chance to consider that thought any further because they reached the pond, where Riley and the girls were feeding ducks.
“Uncle Joey and I have to run to the hardware store,” he told Madeleine. “We’ll be back soon. You want to stay with Camille?”
Madeleine nodded and tossed another handful of cracked corn at the ducks, laughing as it bounced off their sleek heads and sprinkled the surface of the pond.
“They’re dive-bombing to get it,” Camille shrieked.
Riley met his gaze with an expression that seemed to ask, Everything okay?
Max nodded then headed up the hill toward the house and his car. By the time they reached the driveway, Joey had found his voice again.
“Now I’m the bad guy. What’s new?”
“Feeling sorry for yourself?” Max clicked open the locks and hopped in the driver seat. “Where’s that coming from?”
“I’m not feeling sorry for myself and you know it.” Joey made an exasperated sound. “Come on, man. How many times do I have to stand back and keep my mouth shut? Our parents are worried about her.”
Joey was worried.
“She’s been gone for years. You know that, Max. How long am I supposed to keep playing nice and pretending nothing is wrong?”
Max maneuvered around Big Joe’s Cadillac and pulled onto Traver Road. “Did
you think attack mode was going to resolve the problem?”
“Our parents aren’t young. They took a hit with Mike.”
With Mike. A euphemism that everyone in the family had adopted. No one seemed to be able to bring themselves to use Mike’s name with the word died in the same sentence.
Didn’t Max do exactly the same thing when he said Mommy-up-in-heaven?
“I know my parents still have Riley and the twins,” Joey continued. “But it’s not the same as having Lily Susan around. She’s their strongest connection to him. She was Mike. Mike was her. It’s a twin thing. You know what I’m talking about.”
Max did.
He also knew grief. Firsthand, in all its ugly glory. He’d lost more than he’d ever be able to comprehend.
She was Mike. Mike was her.
Max couldn’t even fathom what that could have been like. He’d watched Riley struggle to deal, the long, difficult road to healing, a road that had taken her and the twins clear across the country for years before she’d been able to face the life she and Mike had made together.
Max had learned so much, from both her struggles and her strength. Sometimes he thought that was one of the few things he’d had in his favor to help him learn to cope when he hadn’t even wanted to try. He’d had Riley in his corner with her experience and empathy. He’d had so many loving people to help him out along the way. But he and Riley also had some really compelling reasons to fight their way back—their kids.
Lily Susan had been alone.
“I hear what you’re saying, Joey. And I’m certainly not making excuses for your sister’s behavior, but something’s up with her. I feel it in my gut.”
“You mean the loser fiancé cheating on her?” Joey scoffed. “That was the best thing that ever happened. Even if she hasn’t figured it out yet. Not that I would have minded getting out of the country for the wedding. I paid all that money for a passport for nothing.”
“Take a vacation.” Max slowed to take a crazy turn on a road filled with them. “But I’m not talking about the loser. Something else.”
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