“The kiss meant something to you, as it did to me,” he said, so low and close to her ear that she felt his breath caress her face. “And I mean something to you, or you wouldn’t spend so much time running from me.”
“Gabriel,” she said, but the sound was more like a sob.
“You are afraid to care for me, for any man, because you don’t want to repeat the past. But you say you can see I’m not Jonathon. And you are not the same foolish girl who believed she loved someone so utterly wrong for her. Don’t destroy your future because of the past. I know how much the past can cut, but we learn from it. We grow from it.” He leaned down and brushed his lips against the tip of her nose. “We move away from it, Felicity. Move away from it with me.”
She shut her eyes. Tremors wracked her and she knew if Gabriel wasn’t holding her, she would not remain upright. How could she deny him when he was offering her so much? But at the same time, how could she take what he offered? She had been denying herself for so long, she was afraid to give in to her desires. To trust. To have faith in herself or him.
But then his hand came up and he cupped her cheek. Tilting her face upward. “Felicity, we could be so happy. I would make you happy. I swear it to you. Please, please marry me. Be with me. Not because of the past. Because of right now. Please.”
Her mouth opened, her lips trembled and she knew she could not deny him. “Yes.”
His eyes widened and the flash of pure joy she saw on his face erased any lingering doubts. Then his mouth came down and erased her thoughts, as well.
If she had been stunned by his first kiss, Felicity welcomed the second. When his tongue touched hers and he stroked across the roof of her mouth, it was as if she had come home. It was right. It was everything she wanted. It was more.
And she would have this… and all the more… for the rest of her life. Suddenly her memories of what happened between a man and a woman were thrilling rather than shameful. Gabriel would touch her, fill her, claim her once she was his wife. She looked forward to that moment, though she felt a pang of regret that her innocence was not a gift she could give him.
Gabriel’s arms tightened and she was brought more fully against his chest. She mewled with pleasure against his lips as her long dormant senses awakened. She was on fire. It tingled in her fingertips, made her nipples harden, and brought a powerful ache to the place between her thighs. And the wanting had never been like this before.
So perhaps that was the gift. She came to Gabriel not with her innocence, but with her experience. With all the lessons she had learned over the years about fear. And with all the acceptance he had shown to her. That would make her savor their time together. It would make her less timid. It would allow her to feel all the pleasure with no regrets.
Never again.
With a gasp, Gabriel broke the kiss and gently set her away from him. Their eyes locked and she saw all the control he was reining in as he panted out heaving breaths.
“Dear God, woman, what you do to me,” he said as he ran a hand through his hair. “You bring out every wicked thing in me.”
She cupped his cheek with a smile. “Only be wicked for me.”
His expression softened as he turned his lips into her palm. “I promise.” He leaned toward her second time, but pulled away at the last moment with a growl of displeasure. “No. As much as I’d like to show you how wicked I can be right here and now, that would do neither of us any good. I’d like to speak to your father. To tell him that you’ve agreed to my offer and make the arrangements.”
Felicity nodded as her heart leapt. This was really happening. And she looked forward to it with a hope she’d once thought Jonathon took along with his pleasure.
“Yes, I believe he was in the parlor. You speak to him first and I’ll join you in a few moments.”
Gabriel caught her hand and lifted it to his lips. “I’m glad, Felicity. So very glad that I was able to convince you.”
She smiled, heart swelling, as he turned away and headed for the house. After he had gone in, she turned to look out over the gardens below. Joy spread through her, making her limbs feel light as air. She could fly if she wanted to.
“There you are, Felicity! We wondered where you went!”
Felicity turned to see one of the debutantes she had been speaking to, Roberta Wington, come out onto the terrace. Thank heavens she and Gabriel hadn’t decided to be wicked after all. She smiled at the girl. Even debutante ridiculousness couldn’t spoil her mood.
“It’s a glorious afternoon. I was just having a breath of fresh air,” she explained.
The other girl giggled. “With the Duke of Windsworth.”
Felicity shrugged. There was no use denying it. Once matters were settled with her father, the announcement would be made. “Yes.”
“I hear he’s courting you,” Roberta pressed, looking down at Jane and Wesley’s gardens with a yawn.
“Yes.” There was little use denying that, either.
“It’s a fine match.” The other woman flicked a few pebbles from the stone wall that lined the terrace edge. “You will become a Duchess and he’ll receive your dowry. What was it? Fifty thousand pounds?”
Felicity pursed her lips at the vulgar subject. “I very much doubt the Duke needs my money, Roberta.”
Roberta spun on her with surprise lighting her wide eyes. “Of course he does! He’s poor!”
“What? Of course he isn’t!” Felicity snapped, irritation rising in her. How dare this little snip make such an implication?
“He certainly is! My mother had her eye on him for me when he first arrived in Society, but Father cut that notion off when he discovered Windsworth hardly has a farthing to his name. His father and his brother lost it all. My father said that could make any man, even a Duke, into a fortune hunter!”
Felicity stepped back, eyes wide, as she stared at the other girl. Gabriel had no money?
Roberta looked at her face and Felicity’s reaction must have shown clearly, for the other girl lifted a hand to her lips and covered her mouth. “Not that-not that he is that, of course. I’m sure he wants you for other reasons than just the dowry.”
Felicity continued to stare, though she didn’t really see the debutante any longer. All she could see was Gabriel’s face, floating before her. Smiling at her. Kissing her.
And all along he had been penniless. He had said he came to her to make amends, but her impressive dowry would surely line his lean pockets, as well. While he so generously took her on as wife, with her lack of virtue, he would be amply paid for his sacrifice with fifty-thousand pounds of her father’s money.
No. He wouldn’t. He couldn’t.
Except, he hadn’t revealed the truth about his financial position, had he? She’d heard nothing of the kind from his own lips, and her father made no mention. Which meant he’d kept it a secret. A lie by omission.
And he’d said he never lied.
What a fool she had been. To trust him. To grow close to him. And maybe… for just a moment… for allowing herself to love him and think they could have a happy future.
Chapter Six
Felicity clenched her hands into fists, the hot blood roaring through her veins as she continued to stare over the gardens. Her only consolation was that gossipy Roberta Wington had made a hasty exit after her horrible revelation about Gabriel’s financial position.
Of course, she was likely already inside, spreading the news of Felicity’s newest shame to everyone. And here she had sought to avoid that kind of gossip for so long.
She wanted to run. To bolt away from the party, climb into a carriage and just go, as far and as fast as she could. Change her name, change her life. Find a place to hide from the shame of her past and from the hurt that now blossomed in her chest like a poisonous flower.
She caught her breath just before it became a sob. No. No. No. She wouldn’t, she couldn’t run anymore. She wouldn’t hide from the past. If anything, she’d learned that wasn’t possible. She had l
et one Windsworth brother shame her into doing that, she wouldn’t let the second.
Of course, she could march straight to her father and tell him every horrible thing she could think of about Gabriel. Certainly her father would take care of the situation from there. She would never have to see Gabriel again, and he would quite possibly be just as ruined as she was by the time her friends and family were finished with him.
She stared at the flowers below with another shake of her head. No. That wasn’t right either. She was a grown woman; she couldn’t let her father take care of her problems forever. As it was, she’d hidden behind him long enough.
Aside from which, she didn’t want to ruin Gabriel. Oh, yes, some childish part of her liked the notion of hurting him like she was hurting, but that wasn’t the answer.
The answer was the thing she feared most. She had to go to Gabriel herself and confront him with what she now knew.
It was strange, but despite everything she felt she owed it to him.
And she definitely owed it to herself to hear the truth.
#
“Well, Your Grace, you are tenacious, I give you that,” Felicity’s father said with a wan smile as he poured Gabriel a drink.
“I think your daughter is a prize well-worth winning, my lord.” Gabriel took the whiskey Lord Stoneworth offered. He felt like a celebratory drink.
“She certainly is leading you on a merry chase. Most men give up by this point in her games.” The older man sighed and a flash of emotion flickered in his eyes. “I wonder if you will survive her tricks.”
Gabriel smiled, passed the nervousness that churned in his stomach. This was the perfect moment to reveal to Felicity’s father that the two had come to an arrangement. That she had finally given in to his desires and agreed to be his wife. It was the moment he’d been waiting for ever since he learned of the way his brother and father shamed her. He should have been jumping out of his skin to share the news.
But instead, he was weighing each and every word in his head. Trying to find the best way to approach the subject. Because it meant more to him than it had before. She meant more to him. And he didn’t just want to disregard the gravity of her acceptance like it was a simple business deal or unemotional partnership. He wanted whatever he said to her father to reflect the honesty of Gabriel’s regard for Felicity.
That and the depth of his newfound feelings… the ones he had been trying not to label until now. Perhaps the time had come to do so.
He opened his mouth to begin when the door to the parlor opened. His gaze darted to the intruder and he was surprised to find it was Felicity, herself. He’d thought she would take a few more moments before she joined them, to allow him some time with her father. But her quick interruption didn’t bode well. Nor did her stony face. She was not pleased and hardly spared him a glance.
“Father,” she said softly. “Lord Windsworth.”
“Hello, child,” her father said, motioning her in. He cast a side glance at Gabriel. “Lord Windsworth and I were just discussing you.”
“Oh, yes,” Felicity said quietly and her gaze held Gabriel’s with a hint of… accusation? Why did that emotion darken her gaze again? Hadn’t they moved passed all that? “I’m sure you were. May I beg a favor of you, Father?”
The older man stepped forward and caught his daughter’s hands. Kindness and love lined his face, along with a hint of regret. Gabriel knew why. Her father would probably go to his grave wishing he could have spared her the humiliation she suffered because of Gabriel’s family. He found himself hoping that he could form a bond with this man after his marriage. Perhaps through a friendship and mutual affection for Felicity, they could each help ease the pain of the other’s past.
“I wonder if you would fetch me a drink? I’m feeling a bit-” She threw another glance Gabriel’s way. “-a bit tired. I would like to sit for a moment.”
Her father tilted his head. “You are unwell? Should we leave?”
She shook her head. “No, mother is having too good a time to take her away. I’m certain after I rest, I will recover myself.”
“Of course. Lord Windsworth, will you stay with her?” Felicity’s father shot him a glance of concern.
Gabriel tilted his head. Despite Felicity’s statement, she didn’t look pale or tired. She looked… emotional. But he nodded. “Of course.”
Her father slipped from the room, leaving the door open a hair. But as soon as his form disappeared from view, Felicity stepped back and pushed the door shut. When she turned to face Gabriel, the emotions she’d been cloaking became clear.
She was angry. She was hurt. And she blamed him for both, though he had no idea what could change her feelings toward him in such a short span of time.
“What’s wrong?” he asked, stepping toward her.
Felicity stiffened and he stopped instinctively.
“You believe something is wrong?” she whispered, folding her arms like a shield in front of her chest.
He nodded. “I know something is wrong.”
“How?” She tilted her head. “How do you know?”
He shrugged. All he wanted to do was touch her arm, comfort her, but her body language told him in no uncertain terms that she would not allow it.
“I can see it in the tightness around your eyes,” he began warily. “The way your mouth is turned down, not just in anger, but with pain. And your shoulders are set back, the way they are when you’re trying to act as if you’re strong, but are actually feeling weak.”
Those same shoulders suddenly slumped, as if his words had deflated her ability to pretend. Her eyes sparkled with sudden tears, which she turned away to hide from him.
“My goodness, Gabriel, you do know me well, don’t you?” she whispered.
That should have been a compliment, but it sounded like a curse. He nodded, taking the chance to edge toward her. “Yes, I do. I’ve watched you, I’ve listened to you. I want to know you, Felicity. A husband should know his wife.”
That made her shoulders roll even further forward in defeat. “And what of a wife? Should she not know her husband equally well?”
He wrinkled his brow. This felt like such a trap. “You know me. You know my motives, my past. My shames. And we will grow to learn even more about each other the longer we are together.”
She turned on him suddenly. “But what about the secrets you conceal, Gabriel? How will I ever come to know those things?”
His lips thinned into a line and he reached forward to catch her shoulders. She gasped at the contact and began to pull back, but he held her steady.
“Enough games. What is it you have to say?”
Blue eyes darkened to stormy seas as she snapped, “You dare talk to me about games when this entire ‘courtship’ was a game! And the prize at the end was not me. No, it was my fifty-thousand pound dowry. The one that will help pull you from the financial straits your brother and father caused for your family. When did you plan to tell me? Or did you intend to continue lying until you’d secured your position by making me your wife and claiming my body so I couldn’t leave?”
#
Felicity was surprised by how much confronting Gabriel hurt. Every word seemed to make the pain grow, and when he touched her it exploded, making her snap out hurtful words she wished she could take back. They revealed too much about her heart.
The one that loved the man before her.
And the fact that she suddenly realized she’d fallen in love with Gabriel made the situation so much worse.
His fingers tightened on her upper arms and he stared down at her with eyes flashing with… anger. He was angry? After he’d been caught in a lie, he dared to be upset that she was challenging him about the truth?
“I have endured everything you’ve put me through, Felicity. From the outright rudeness to the attempts to put me off to the denial of your feelings. I have endured those things because I understood their source, I understood your embarrassment and fear and anger. And also beca
use I admired your strength and eventually, I came to care for you. But this is enough. I will not stand idly by and allow you to malign me about my intentions. Not after everything we have gone through.”
She blinked. She’d never seen Gabriel like this: his eyes alive with fire, his lips trembling with outrage, and beneath the anger, a hurt coming to the surface.
A hurt she had caused and foolishly longed to sooth. She fought that inclination.
“So you deny that you came to me with hopes of obtaining the dowry that my father has promised?” she asked, her voice cracking.
He shrugged. “I told you once that I do not lie and I meant that. Yes, when I first heard of the fact that my brother ruined you, I came to you with two intentions. One was to make right what he had done. But the fact that you had such a large dowry certainly did not deter me from my quest. My father wrecked my family’s name and our fortune with his vices. And it is as much my duty to repair that as it was to make you whole. A marriage is as good a way to do such a thing as anything else.”
She winced and pulled away from his arms, but he wouldn’t let her go. He held tight. If anything, he pulled her even closer, close enough that his heat curled around her and woke sinful desires in her own body.
“You may sometimes behave foolishly, especially when you are frightened,” he said and didn’t allow her to interrupt when she gasped in outrage. “But you are not stupid. Certainly you know your father raised the amount of your dowry in the hopes it would bring more men to you for you to choose from. Did you not receive offers before mine?”
She pressed her hands against his chest and gave a push. Finally, Gabriel looked down at his hands, gripping her arms. His face paled and he released her gently.
Felicity paced away, her body trembling from his touch while her mind screamed in pain at his words. Such confusing emotions collided and set her off balance entirely.
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