by Brenda Novak
“I wish I had a jacket to offer you.” He pulled part of the blanket they weren’t sitting on up around her. “There’s this, but maybe it’s not enough. Would you rather go?”
She snuggled close to him, reveling in the warmth of his solid, muscular body. “Are you kidding? We have a lot of fire left.”
Although he seemed stiff at first—stiff enough that she almost pulled away, assuming such close contact wasn’t welcome—he soon shifted to make her more comfortable and his arms went around her. “Are we staying until it dies down?”
“I’d stay a lot longer than that, if I could,” she said, watching the flames.
“I don’t have to be home until the wedding,” he joked. “You’re the one who has to work on Saturday.”
She laughed. “Maybe I’d get my fill if we really could hang out until tomorrow night.” She poured herself some more wine. They’d almost finished the bottle. “How do you like living in Vegas?”
“I like it.”
“It doesn’t get too hot for you in the summer?”
“I’m never there in the summer.”
She was feeling a nice buzz, knew she should stop drinking, but she took another sip. “Where do you climb most often? Other than Yosemite?”
“I like Utah. Big and Little Cottonwood Canyons and Zion National Park. Have you ever been to either of those places?”
“No. But I’ve heard a lot about Zion.”
“You really have to see it in person. Moab is also special. There’s nothing quite like Canyonlands and Arches National Park.”
She heard the reverence in his voice and understood how passionate he felt about nature. “I’ve seen pictures of both.”
“Pictures don’t do them justice.”
She removed her shoes and dug her toes into the damp sand at the edge of the blanket, eager for more sensory input, more celebration, a way to continue to block out the recent past and the difficult challenges that loomed ahead. “What do you do in the months when you’re not climbing?”
He drained his glass. “I coach at a parkour gym.”
“Do you like that?”
“I don’t mind it. The owner is great. Better than great. He’s sort of like a second father to me. And the kids are awesome. Anyway, it gets me through the winter.”
“Do you ever worry that your lifestyle might be...I don’t know...a little hard on your relationships?”
“Not really.”
“You never intend to marry and settle down?”
When she glanced up at him, she saw that his lips were slanted into a self-deprecating smile. “I doubt there’s a woman out there who could put up with me.”
“It wouldn’t be easy to tolerate your wanderlust,” she admitted. “But you never know. Alex Honnold is with someone. Or he was when I interviewed him. I can’t say if they’re still together.”
“Maybe I’ll meet the right person someday,” he said, but he spoke noncommittally.
Emery spread the blanket out so that she could lie on it. “I’m getting tired. What about you?”
“I’m not too bad, but thanks to all the wine we’ve drunk, I’m not ready to drive.”
She patted the blanket. “Let’s take a nap, sleep it off. This night has been so fun. I don’t want it to end quite yet, do you?”
He eyed the spot next to her with obvious reluctance. “No, but... I don’t know if lying down together would be wise.”
The scent of the fire filled her nostrils as she stared up at the black velvet sky. She’d had too much to drink, all right; the world was beginning to spin faster and faster and faster. “In what way?” she asked, covering a yawn. She thought she could guess. She wanted to touch him, too. It was the alcohol, she told herself.
But he didn’t explain. “Never mind,” he replied and curled up with her.
* * *
Dallas wasn’t sure who started it. He only knew that by the time he came fully awake, he and Emery were kissing. Her hand was up his shirt, touching his chest, and he had a raging hard-on.
He tried to come to his senses, to gain control of the situation, but they must not have been sleeping long because his thoughts were still fuzzy. “Emery?” he said, trying to pull away.
“What?” she murmured, her mouth moving down until he could feel her tongue on his neck.
He struggled to catch his breath—and to resist the urge to slip his hand up her shirt. “Did I start this—or did you?” he managed to ask.
“I don’t know,” she replied. “But you feel—” she bit his neck “—and taste—” she kissed his jawline “—and smell—” she nuzzled her nose up under his ear “—better than anything.”
He felt every muscle tense with the desire to respond in kind. Instead, he swallowed hard and resisted the impulse. “I appreciate that, but you’ve been through a lot. We don’t want to make it any worse.”
She jerked her head up and looked around. “How? There’s not another soul out here. Even if we weren’t alone, it’s so dark someone would have to literally stumble over us to realize we’re here.”
“That isn’t it,” he said. “We’re still drunk. At least I think we must be.” With the sudden injection of so much testosterone, as well as the jolt of the surprise, his thoughts were growing decidedly clearer. Was she sobering up, too?
“That could be true. But it’s been a really horrible month, and I need to feel something good. A second ago, you seemed to want the same thing.”
She hadn’t misread what his body was telling her. He was trying not to be selfish. “I do. It’s just...this is sort of sudden and could possibly ruin our friendship. You might want to reconsider—”
She sat up so abruptly he swallowed the rest of that sentence. He assumed he’d talked some sense into her and what had started so quickly had ended just as fast. Although he’d done the right thing, losing the satisfaction he craved created a sharp pang of disappointment.
But she didn’t stand up to go; she pulled off her shirt.
“Holy shit,” he whispered when she guided his hands to her full, soft breasts. “You’re not making this easy. Will you...will you stop and think for a second? Can we make sure this is going to be all right?”
“I won’t think,” she said. “I refuse.”
“But you might regret this later.”
She was already working on the buttons of his shirt. “Do you have birth control?”
“In my wallet.”
“Then I won’t regret it.”
He caught her wrists. “What about afterward? What about tomorrow?”
“Tomorrow I can go back to trying to rebuild my life, and we can pretend this never happened. This is just a...a time-out. A onetime thing. Neither one of us is looking for a relationship, so what can it hurt? We’re both consenting adults, and we don’t have any emotional expectations.”
He had to admit she made a great case.
“Are you in?” she asked.
When he hesitated, she faltered. “Dallas? Are you saying no?”
“I’m definitely not saying no. I’m simply trying to...clarify. Are you sure you won’t be upset with yourself, or me, in the morning? You won’t be embarrassed to see me? You won’t give up your new job, leave Silver Springs and head back to your apartment to spend Christmas alone? Nothing will change?”
“I’m positive.”
She sounded so definite he knew he was going to move forward despite the fact that he probably shouldn’t.
“Then what do we have to lose?” he said, and pulled her back down on top of him before rolling her onto her back. “But I say we start over. If this is only going to happen once, there’s no way I want to race for the finish line.”
* * *
Emery had never been one for casual sex. She knew it could create all kinds of problems. Before she started seeing Ethan, she
’d been so caught up in her work she hadn’t even gone out very often. She’d put up a profile on a dating site and left it there, but after meeting several of the men who contacted her, she’d grown discouraged and quit logging in or following up. She supposed that was how she fell into a relationship with Ethan—there was no one else in her life, and she got worn down from interacting with him every day.
Considering that abstinence was her typical MO, at least when she wasn’t dating someone, she couldn’t believe she was doing what she was doing with Dallas, and that she’d been the one to encourage it. This was the most sexually aggressive she’d ever been. But she guessed that she was, in part, making a statement. This was her way of flipping Ethan off for wrecking her life, her way of refusing to allow what he did, or the judgments of those who saw the video he’d posted, to stop her from enjoying her sexuality.
It didn’t hurt that Dallas was built as well as he was, that he could kiss better than anyone she’d ever kissed before or that she genuinely liked and trusted him.
They made out for so long she was beginning to wonder if he was still hesitant to go further. But once he turned his attention to the rest of her body, she understood why he’d waited. By then she was so excited, she was especially sensitive to his touch and couldn’t help gasping when his mouth moved to her breast and his fingers slid even lower.
“God, that’s good,” she whispered and let go, allowed him full access without holding back. So when he finally pushed inside her, she thought she might climax immediately. He must’ve been close to climax, too, because he lowered himself to his elbows and kissed her again. Although she enjoyed the kiss, like all the others before it, she also understood he was taking a slight break from focusing on what was going on below the waist, so that he could maintain control.
“I’ve never made love on the beach,” she said as she waited.
He lifted his head. “Me, either. Now I’ll be ruined for doing it anywhere else.”
“You’ll have to bring every woman you want back here.” It was completely the wrong time to make such a statement. But she needed to remind herself not to get too caught up in what they were doing. This didn’t mean anything. That was the point of casual sex.
“I’d rather not talk about other women right now,” he said.
“Smart man,” she teased.
He didn’t keep the banter going. She was trying to put some emotional distance between them—their lovemaking was growing pretty feverish and intense and all-consuming—but he wasn’t playing along. From what she could tell, he welcomed the intensity, didn’t seem concerned with emotional distance, because he turned the focus back on her, which enhanced the overall experience but did little to help her maintain the proper perspective.
“Are you cold?” he asked when she suddenly quit responding, for the first time worried that they might be making a big mistake. “We can stop.”
She nearly brought it all to a halt. Because he was so considerate, he’d given her the opportunity.
Except she couldn’t do that; it wouldn’t be fair. He’d given her plenty of chances to stop before it went this far. It wasn’t as though she really wanted to quit, anyway. She’d just gotten spooked by how well it was going.
“No. I don’t feel the cold,” she admitted, and so that reality couldn’t intrude again, she closed her eyes and concentrated on the occasional pop coming from the glowing embers of the fire, the cool wind on her naked, sweat-dampened skin and, most of all, the sensation of Dallas filling her with each thrust. “You feel incredible inside me,” she admitted as soon as that flash of reluctance was cast aside. “Just the way I knew you’d feel.”
That was too personal. But this whole thing was getting away from her, and she couldn’t seem to stop it.
“I’m glad to hear that, because with you beneath me, I feel like the master of all I survey,” he said, and they both laughed.
“Maybe the wine has something to do with that.”
“Nope, it’s all you,” he whispered, and rolled onto his back, pulling her with him. “Let’s try it this way, so that you can be in charge. Maybe you’ll be able to work off some of the anger and hurt you’ve been feeling lately.”
She was eager to try. Resting her hands on his firm chest, she began to move slowly and deliberately. The intensity on his face made her feel powerful. She liked being on top. Here, alone with him on the beach, she felt as free as he probably did when he was climbing.
Once she began to move faster, his hands gripped her thighs to help her, and she cast away the rest of her reserve, threw back her head and rode him in earnest. When she felt his body go rigid, she was afraid he might come too soon. That one moment when she’d freaked out had cost her; she wasn’t quite there yet. But he didn’t.
Her release was both powerful and oddly cleansing. It was almost as if her body had gathered up all of her frustration and unhappiness and annihilated it in one grand explosion that rippled through her, bringing the most exquisite pleasure.
When she gasped, she heard Dallas make a similar sound and felt slightly exultant. Besides everything else, she’d brought him to climax with her.
“That was close,” he admitted, sounding relieved as she slumped over him and tried to catch her breath. “I was hanging on for all I was worth.”
“I could tell. But you made it. And it was so damn good.”
“You know what they say about rock climbers.”
“No, I don’t,” she said, suddenly languid and relaxed and tired again.
“Neither do I,” he said, and they laughed as he wrapped the blanket around them before drifting off to sleep.
12
Saturday, December 12
“Will you be okay if I leave for a few hours?” Susan asked.
Startled by the intrusion of her employer’s voice, Emery blinked. She’d been staring off into space, lost in her own thoughts. “I’ll be fine,” she insisted with a polite smile, but she wasn’t as confident as she was pretending to be. She’d spent the past two hours training at her new job. What she had to do wasn’t hard. But as long as Susan was around, and she only had to do what she was told, her mind tended to wander.
After Dallas brought her home early yesterday morning, they’d both slipped quietly into their respective bedrooms, hoping Aiyana and his younger brothers wouldn’t realize they’d been out all night. He’d been gone when she woke up; he spent Friday working for his mother, helping to get ready for the wedding, which was going to be at the groom’s ranch. Aiyana had asked him to set up several tents and fill them with tables and chairs. Emery had heard something about a gazebo, too, and going to Santa Barbara to pick up the wine. He’d gotten back after Emery was in bed. Then she’d left before he was up this morning, so she hadn’t seen him since their night on the beach.
That didn’t stop her from thinking about him, however.
“I need to lie down for a couple of hours,” Susan said. “But the weather’s turned again, so it shouldn’t be too busy. I never get as many customers when it’s wet.”
“Right.” Susan looked pale and moved as though she was struggling to keep going. “I got the store. Don’t worry about anything. I hope you feel better soon.”
Susan thanked her, and Emery maintained her smile until Susan made her way gingerly out the back door to her car, which was parked in the alley. Then, as if fate was determined to make a liar out of Susan, the store got busy in spite of the bad weather. Emery had to focus on what she was doing to keep up, especially because she’d never worked a cash register.
Three hours passed and Susan didn’t return. So when Emery heard the bell ring over the door at three-thirty, she didn’t think anything of it. It had been ringing all day, and it was the front door, not the back. Whoever had just walked in wouldn’t be her employer.
She was so intent on continuing to manage the store alone—and get a large, bois
terous family their ice cream cones and sandwiches—that she didn’t even look up until she heard a deep voice she immediately recognized.
Dallas. He was there with his two younger brothers. Dressed in faded jeans and a gray, long-sleeved T-shirt that had a picture of a stick figure rock climbing that said Roam Free, he’d just had his hair cut. Emery could tell Liam and Bentley had been to the barber, too. No doubt they were getting ready for the wedding.
She felt a strange sensation in her stomach the minute she looked up, knew her odd reaction to seeing Dallas was a result of Thursday night and cursed herself for being foolish enough to get so intimate with her new friend. Now she wouldn’t be able to stop herself from undressing him with her eyes.
He smiled, and she smiled, too—shooting for a perfunctory expression to cover her sudden self-consciousness—before finishing with her current customers.
“Hey,” she said once the large party left.
His eyes searched her face. She wasn’t sure what he was looking for, but she could guess. He had to be wondering if she was going to be true to her word and treat him the same as she’d treated him before they made love. “We were in the neighborhood and thought we’d drop by and see how you’re doing on your first day,” he said as Bentley and Liam hunched over the ice cream case, trying to decide on what they wanted.
“I’m doing okay.” She checked the clock. “Except that I’ve been on my own for the past several hours. I keep thinking Susan will be back, but...”
“Do you know where she went? Because it’s sort of strange she’d leave you alone so long already.”
“I didn’t think anything of it in the beginning. She wasn’t feeling well, and I was glad I could spell her so she could go lie down. But now I’m starving and wondering whether she’s ever going to take over so I can buy some food. I would’ve packed a sandwich if I’d known I wouldn’t be able to get away.”