by Renee Burke
The two glasses of wine caught up to Gretchen as she finished putting the last of the dishes in the dishwasher. She felt lethargy creep into her muscles, so rather than returning to watch television with Sebastian or continuing her work, she climbed the stairs to her living room and headed for a hot bath. She filled the tub with bubbles and steamy water and sunk into it to soak her muscles, tired from days of tension. Her house was scheduled for repairs next week after the carpenter had made sure it was secure for the time being. Mark had taken charge of checking on it while she was working through the afternoon.
She was grateful but unsure why he did that. He certainly didn’t owe her. In fact, he was no doubt tallying up all she owed him.
She slipped into her pajamas and checked the clock. It was just after eight. She longed to climb into bed, warm and woozy, and for the first time in a week and sleep through until morning. Instead, she climbed into a chair to wait for Laura’s call that Eddie was coming. She and Sebastian had told him about his Dad. Maybe that would help. She closed her eyes to breathe a little prayer that everything would turn out all right.
Mark held his finger to his lips. He stood at the top of the stairs with Eddie beside him. The boy lifted his shoulders in an excited shrug and grinned.
“Let her sleep. I’ll get you settled downstairs.” He led his son down to the extra bedroom next to Sebastian’s and pulled back the covers. When Laura had arrived with Eddie a while earlier, Mark had been speechless. The boy was a little shy to start but quickly became a whirlwind of energy in the house. He had questions. Lots of them.
Mark felt as if he’d been through an interview rivaling one for a high level security clearance. His thoughts about how he would tell this four year old who he was were dashed clear out of his mind when Eddie recognized him and began the inquisition. His tough attitude about keeping Gretchen out of their initial meeting had melted away when he realized what she had done. She had made him a hero. Between Gretchen and Sebastian, Eddie had acquired enough information to give him an ego twice the size of any normal man. Questions Mark had dreaded about his absence had never come. Instead, a small hand had crept into his larger one to lead him to his suitcase and pull out his treasured stuff animal and tell him about the trip to the zoo.
No matter how much the boy was new to him, he was no stranger to his son. He repeated back stories about his military service, stories about growing up that Sebastian loved to tell, even bragged about the missions he had survived. Missions, for goodness sake. Mark felt a smile creep across his face. He definitely had been no secret to Eddie.
His heart felt strangely full as he listened to the boy. His son had his own dark hair, and Gretchen’s eyes, and his sweet mother’s smile, God rest her soul. The best of both of them. His connection to boy was immediate. It was hard not to feel it with the innocent trust he showed. How had Gretchen instilled this in Eddie? Especially when he knew she felt so little trust for him after he’d deserted her years before. True, he hadn’t known she was pregnant, but he wasn’t entirely blameless in her thinking he had no interest in the baby. It was something he planned to rectify shortly.
Mark tucked in his son, promising he would still be waiting come morning. Knowing Sebastian was next door and seeing the light spill in through the open doorway was enough for Eddie to fall asleep quickly. Mark watched his features relax. An innocent, trusting child. He smiled.
He had missed so much of his life already, but the boy seemed at peace with the circumstances. He wanted to blame Gretchen for his absence and could lay a lot of this situation at her feet. He would have returned for leave time to make a relationship with his son. On the other hand, his position required deployment and time away. A lot. Knowing the details would have made no difference in that.
Either way, the choice should have been his. She’d taken that right away without a word.
The house was quiet as he stepped out of the shower and pulled on a pair of shorts. He flipped off lights as he double checked the locks. He didn’t even pause in the kitchen. He headed up the stairs and stood before the chair where Gretchen slept. Her brow was puckered. Fretting.
She had eaten very little at dinner and wore the expression of an unforgiven convict heading for the gallows as she cleaned up. No doubt she would have made a run for it if Eddie weren’t the issue. She never had been great at confrontation. He turned off the overhead light, leaving the room bathed in dim lamplight.
He scooped her up and sat down with her in his arms. Her weight rested against his chest and felt good.
She stirred, nuzzling her face into his neck. Her breath stroked the skin at his throat and made him warm all over, but his mind was on other things. He waited as she came awake slowly.
“You missed the big reveal.”
Her eyes widened. “Eddie’s home? I fell asleep. What time is it?” She glanced around the room.
“Little after eleven. Laura said to apologize. She couldn’t call ahead. Her phone went dead on the drive back.” No doubt that call had been part of the plan to catch Eddie before he entered the house for a quick chat.
She stiffened and tried to sit but shifting her hips across his lap just put her more solidly in his arms. Not a bad place for her to be.
He looked more closely at her then. She was wearing a gown, not a sexy one either. She looked tired and very much like he remembered his own mom looking at the end of the day. Spent. Might as well put her out of her misery.
“He’s fine. Had a good time. Knew who I was.”
She blew out a small breath and nodded. “You were never a secret, Mark. He’s seen pictures, stayed with your dad, heard stories. You just weren’t around.”
He rolled that thought around with a shift of his jaw and squinted at her before responding. “My being here or not wouldn’t have changed entirely if I had known about him. I still would have fulfilled my responsibility to the military.”
She was obviously surprised he admitted that. Shouldn’t be. He was nothing if not honest. Painfully so sometimes. She should have learned that five years ago.
“I’m trying not to be angry, but I have to tell you it’s not easy. I’ve missed everything.” He gritted his jaw for a moment, trying to reign in his anger. He thought about the way Eddie had opened up about the upcoming ball season and his interest in doing things together. The kid had never played a game in his life and might not be ready. Mark would get him ready.
He lifted and carried Gretchen to the bed where he laid down beside her, propped his head on his crooked arm, and demanded to hear it all.
“Don’t leave anything out. Not. One. Thing.”
The combination of vulnerability and anger in Mark’s expression touched Gretchen. She cherished every face of her life with Eddie. She had robbed Mark of the few experiences he could have had in these four short years. It was time to make up for that.
She could either try to shield Eddie and distance him from Mark, or she could let him know what a great kid Eddie was. Maybe he would stick around, take a genuine interest, and be a great father. Either way, she had to be strong for Eddie. This was about his needs, not hers. Her heartbreak didn’t matter anymore.
So she settled in, turning to face him on the bed, and she began from the beginning, with her pregnancy and the initial sadness about having a baby without a father. But there were worse things. She had lived through worse with a dad who would rather be anywhere else. All of their lives would have been better if he had taken off after her sister had been born and stayed gone rather than returning whenever the mood struck him.
Mark didn’t say what he must be thinking. That he was better than her deadbeat father. Sebastian had been a great example of fatherhood by giving Mark the space he needed when his mother had died and pulling Gretchen in close when he had found her raising his grandson alone.
“I made sure he knew you left with honorable goals.”
He snorted. “Yeah, I got that.”
She smiled ruefully. “There were a few times
he watched spy movies with your dad. Those might have influenced his thinking some.”
He nodded. “Go on.”
She spent the next few hours talking about the milestones, big and small, in Eddie’s life. His daycare, sleep habits, favorite toys, trips to the lake, starting preschool soon, and plans for the summer. She answered Mark’s questions and tried to fill in any gaps to help him know everything he wanted. She even pulled out the album she had rescued from her house and showed him the snapshots that she had. “There are a lot more on my computer that I haven’t printed. He’ll love telling you about them.”
“I’ll love hearing all about them.”
“I’m sorry.”
They fell asleep that way, sleepily sharing bits from the past four years, and when she awoke before dawn snuggled into his big body she didn’t panic as she have just days before. She sighed and settled into his warmth before closing her eyes and nodding back off to sleep.
Chapter Seven
Gretchen planned to spend the next day catching up with Eddie and working at the kitchen table rather than jaunting across town to get through the day. Normally, she was up with the sun to spend time with Eddie before heading out to Sebastian’s for his breakfast and medicines. Now that she was just up the stairs, the urgency might have been gone had she not been on pins and needles about the day ahead with Eddie and Mark. According to Mark, it was smooth as could be, and she hoped that easy attitude would last.
She put on jeans and a top and went downstairs. Eddie was still sleeping but she knew that wouldn’t last. She sat up her computer in a corner of the kitchen where she would be out of the way and connected to the internet.
She felt small hands on her arm and turned to see a sleepy Eddie standing beside her.
“Wow! You were stealth!”
He grinned a big toothy smile.
“Been practicing?”
He nodded. “Can I have some chocolate milk?”
She opened her arms, and he stepped into them for a big hug, grunting as he tried to squeeze the life out of her. “Missed you. Did you have fun?”
He released her and climbed into a chair at the table. “We played at the pool and the zoo.”
Gretchen heard the stairs creek and glanced toward them in time to see Mark step into the kitchen. He wore shorts and his chest was bare. She immediately flashed to a memory of licking across the smooth skin the morning before. Her face flamed, and he smirked as if he could read her mind.
“Morning, Eddie.”
Her attention was diverted to Eddie standing up from the table.
She watched painfully. He didn’t move away from the chair, just stood there, and her heart squeezed at the idea he might not be sure Mark would want a morning hug.
“My dad came back.”
She nudged her head toward the table as she made for the fridge. Mark went easily and sat, pulling Eddie into his lap. She exhaled in relief. “I know! It’s very exciting.”
Eddie nodded. “He says he’s going to teach me to play ball today.”
She sat the glass of milk on the table before gesturing a coffee cup at Mark in offering.
“Black.”
“I told him I already know how to play from watching on TV.”
Mark nodded. “That can teach you a lot. It may feel a little different when you do it yourself.”
Eddie eyed him suspiciously. “Have you ever played?”
Mark’s smile was wry. “About a hundred years ago.”
“Really?” He drank his milk and listened.
“Well, maybe not that long. I played in high school and here and there in the military. Second base.”
Gretchen had watched him in his mouth-watering uniform when they dated. He was fit and gorgeous, and she had hated knowing she wasn’t the only one on the sideline watching with more than just team spirit.
Gretchen fixed toast and eggs as Sebastian quizzed Eddie on the zoo animals he had seen and prompted big fish stories. When they finished up, Mark told Eddie to get dressed so they could play a little pitch and catch. He scooted off to get dressed for the day.
Mark leaned against the counter looking mouthwatering as she finished drying her hands. He smirked again. He was so ruthless with reading her mind at times like these. It was an uncomfortable habit. “I thought I’d take him to the ball fields. Let him get time out there to see how far apart the bases are.”
“Time on the field? That seems excessive. It’s just T-ball.”
“How is that excessive? Won’t they be playing on the field next week?”
She stilled her hands on the towel and folded it, matching the corners and sides perfectly before placing it on the counter. “I just don’t understand why you can’t play in the yard.” She gestured through the window to the grass growing in thick and green. “Here.”
He swallowed and seemed to consider his words carefully. “You planning on keeping me in sight when I spend time with my son, Gretchen?”
She swallowed and laughed uneasily. “No. Of course not.”
“Then what’s the problem?” If his words came out a little louder than usual, he didn’t seem to notice.
Her voice was hurried and hushed. She didn’t want Eddie to return and get the impression they were arguing. “I just haven’t seen him in almost a week. I thought I’d watch.”
“Is there some reason you can’t ride into town with us?” His brow cleared. “Is that what this is about? You’re worried about going into town?”
She rolled her neck and looked everywhere but his face. “I’m not. Not when it’s necessary at least. I just don’t want to chance things if we don’t have to. Why not let the police finish up their investigation before making ourselves a target?”
He stepped closer and slid his hands around her waist, anchoring her in place. “I’d hardly call spending a little time at the field putting a target on your back. Besides Eddie wasn’t ever in danger.” His face was inches from hers, and she could smell his skin, the scent of the sheets. She closed her eyes to remember. “You know safety won’t be an issue with me there.”
She nodded. “I know it should be fine, but it just seems unnecessary. Why take chances?”
He stepped back and dropped his hand. “I’m going to clean up. When I get back, be ready. We can’t cower in fear and that isn’t something I’d teach my son to do even if he had been the target.”
“Easy for you to say.” She cut her words off, but it was too late.
Mark’s expression cleared to a serious one that set alarms going off in her head. “Is that so?”
She shook her head. “I just mean your training will help keep you safe.”
“Not that he’s not important to me? Because I can tell you that he’s a new development for me, but that doesn’t make him any less important.”
Her voice was tenuous when she responded. “I’m glad to hear it, but that’s not what I meant.”
He jerked a nod. “Be ready if you’re coming with us.” He turned to leave the kitchen without another word.
Gretchen didn’t go with them. She stood at the doorway, watching them move toward the truck. Eddie bounced around as if he’d just won the grand prize at a carnival. When Mark got in, he glanced back her way and raised an eyebrow. His look seemed to ask, aren’t you coming? But she didn’t. She shook her head slightly and held up a hand in greeting as they pulled away. She had his word that he wouldn’t let Eddie out of his sight, and she did trust him. She did. But someone had tried to kill her, and she just couldn’t seem to muster the backbone to leave the safety of the house. Especially not if it might be others in danger, too.
She worked anxiously, mentally calculating where they were and how much longer they might stay away until her phone rang. Mark reported in to tell her they had finished practicing for the day, and Eddie had asked to go to a new animated flick at the theater. She declined the invitation and breathed deeply as she sat back at the table. At least there would be a crowd in the shopping center. Safety in
numbers.
She continued working. She felt a calmness that hadn’t been present when she was forced to rush from place to place, constantly looking over her shoulder. When they returned a couple of hours later, she felt herself relax a fraction more.
Eddie settled in to play with an animal set he loved as she continued working.
She was becoming accustomed to Mark’s presence in the house. She was still conscious of him, in a fundamental way that she was always alert to where he was, but it became the new normal for him to wander through as he checked on his dad or took him out to work in the shop or around the yard.
Sebastian also seemed at ease with his son being home and more at ease leaving his routine with the extra set of hands there to help him get around.
As she sat in the kitchen working at her laptop, transferring information and filling out spreadsheets for the insurance filing, Mark approached and ran his hands around her shoulders. “Getting it taken care of?”
“Mmm hmm.” He pressed his thumbs into her shoulders, and she felt her muscles loosen. Rather than sinking into the comfort, she sat up straighter. “Dinner will be in about an hour.”
“How would you like to leave the house for a meal out?”
“Out?” She glanced up to see him more clearly.
“Derek called earlier. We have some catching up to do. I’d like you to get to know a few friends a little better.”
“Oh, I don’t think so. You go ahead.”
“It will be good for you. I get the impression you’re all work and no play. Time for that to change.” He chucked her under the chin.
She shook her head. “Really. Go ahead. There’s no…” She didn’t finish the thought. There was no reason for her to get to know any of them, she wanted to say. They were Mark’s friends not hers.