1974 BLAZING SADDLES
Hedley Lamarr recruits a gang of thugs to evict the townsfolk of Rock Ridge.
TAGGART
What do you want me to do, sir?
HEDLEY
I want you to round up every vicious criminal and gunslinger in the West. Take this down.
Taggart looks for a pen and paper while Hedley talks.
I want rustlers, cut-throats, murderers, bounty hunters, desperadoes, mugs, pugs, thugs, nitwits, halfwits, dimwits, vipers, snipers, conmen, Indian agents, Mexican bandits, muggers, buggerers, bushwhackers, hornswogglers, horse thieves, bull dykes, train robbers, bank robbers, ass-kickers, shit-kickers and Methodists!
Taggart finally finds a pen and paper.
TAGGART
Could you repeat that, sir?
Dir: Mel Brooks • Scr: Mel Brooks, Norman Steinberg, Andrew Bergman, Richard Pryor, Alan Uger • Cast: Slim Pickens (Taggart), Harvey Korman (Hedley Lamarr)
1974 CHINATOWN
Private investigator Jake Gittes is under no illusion about the integrity of his profession.
EVELYN
Hollis seems to think you’re an innocent man.
JAKE
Well, I’ve been accused of a lot of things before, Mrs Mulwray, but never that.
Dir: Roman Polanski • Scr: Robert Towne • Cast: Faye Dunaway (Evelyn Mulwray), Jack Nicholson (Jake Gittes)
Jack Nicholson is a devoted LA Lakers fan and was persistently late for filming because he was following their games on TV in his trailer. After one heated argument, director Polanski smashed the television set with a mop.
1975 NIGHT MOVES
Private investigator Harry Moseby quizzes a reluctant suspect.
HARRY
What happened to your face?
QUENTIN
I won second prize in a fight.
Dir: Arthur Penn • Scr: Alan Sharp • Cast: Gene Hackman (Harry Moseby), James Woods (Quentin)
As a struggling actor Hackman had jobs as a doorman, furniture mover, soda jerk and pharmacy assistant. During his rise to fame he turned down the lead role in Jaws, Close Encounters of the Third Kind, Raiders of the Lost Ark and One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest. He later said: ‘I was trained to be an actor, not a star. I was trained to play roles, not to deal with fame and agents and lawyers and the press.’
1975 JAWS
Quint, a local fisherman, interrupts a town meeting about a man-eating shark terrorizing their beach.
QUINT
Y’all know me. Know how I earn a livin’. I’ll catch this bird for you, but it ain’t gonna be easy. Bad fish. Not like going down the pond chasin’ bluegills and tommycods. This shark, swallow you whole. Little shakin’, little tenderizin’, an’ down you go. And we gotta do it quick, that’ll bring back your tourists, put all your businesses on a payin’ basis. But it’s not gonna be pleasant. I value my neck a lot more than three thousand bucks, chief. I’ll find him for three, but I’ll catch him, and kill him, for ten. But you’ve gotta make up your minds. If you want to stay alive, then ante up. If you want to play it cheap, be on welfare the whole winter. I don’t want no volunteers, I don’t want no mates, there’s just too many captains on this island. $10,000 for me by myself. For that you get the head, the tail, the whole damn thing.
Dir: Steven Spielberg • Scr: Carl Gottlieb, Peter Benchley • Based on a novel by Peter Benchley • Cast: Robert Shaw (Quint)
1976 TAXI DRIVER
A disturbed Vietnam vet takes a job as a New York taxi driver.
TRAVIS
All the animals come out at night — whores, skunk pussies, buggers, queens, fairies, dopers, junkies. Sick, venal. Someday a real rain’ll come and wash all this scum off the streets. I go all over. I take people to the Bronx, Brooklyn, I take ’em to Harlem. I don’t care. Don’t make no difference to me. It does to some. Some won’t even take spooks. Don’t make no difference to me.
Dir: Martin Scorsese • Scr: Paul Schrader • Cast: Robert De Niro (Travis Bickle)
Bizarrely, one of the studios who read the script suggested Neil Diamond for the lead role. The famous scene where Travis Bickle talks to himself was ad-libbed by Robert De Niro. The screenplay just read: ‘Travis looks in the mirror.’
1971 SHAFT
Private investigator John Shaft warns a suspect not to interrupt him.
SHAFT
Don’t let your mouth get your ass in trouble.
Dir: Gordon Parks • Scr: Ernest Tidyman, John D. F. Black • Based on a novel by Ernest Tidyman • Cast: Richard Roundtree (John Shaft)
1983 SCARFACE
Drug lord Tony Montana is determined to safeguard his empire on his own terms.
TONY
All I have in this world is my balls and my word, and I don’t break them for no one.
Dir: Brian De Palma • Scr: Oliver Stone • Based on a 1932 film of the same name, and on a novel by Armitage Trail • Cast: Al Pacino (Tony Montana)
When Saddam Hussein set up a front company to launder money from various illegal enterprises, he named it Montana Management after the main character in the film.
‘STICKS NIX HICK PIX’
One of the most famous media headlines ever printed, this terse 1935 splash in Variety announces that films about country life do not play well with rural audiences – proof, perhaps, that the Hollywood dream of fleeing a small-town existence for the bright lights of the big city had already taken root. Further epigrammatic utterances include:
• Cocktail: Cruise Boozer Brews Snooze (1988: audiences are finding Tom Cruise’s Cocktail less than thrilling)
• A Wing-Ding for the King (2004: The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King proves a success at the box office)
• Bay’s Bots Rock Box (2007: director Michael Bay’s Transformers is a hit in cinemas).
Variety was first published in 1905 as a trade magazine for the entertainment industry and soon formulated its own shorthand for familiar aspects of the business. Its ‘Slanguage Dictionary’ includes the following terms to deal with movies and their production:
• Ankle – a classic (and enduring) Variety term meaning to quit or be dismissed from a job, without necessarily specifying which; instead, it suggests walking; ‘Alan Smithee has ankled his post as production prexy at U.’
• Aud – audience; ‘Liza Minnelli has always had a special rapport with her aud.’
• Biopic – a Variety coinage meaning biographical film; ‘Coal Miner’s Daughter, about Loretta Lynn, is one of the most successful biopics ever produced.’
• Boff (also boffo, boffola) – outstanding (usually refers to box office performance); ‘My Best Friend’s Wedding has been boffo at the B.O.’ (See also socko, whammo)
• Chopsocky – a martial arts film; ‘Chopsocky star Chuck Norris will make a guest appearance on Seinfeld this season.’
• Click – a hit; ‘Disney click The Lion King is slated to air on ABC this season.’
• Crix – critics; ‘While the director’s last film was a flop with auds, the crix were in his corner.’
• Gotham – New York City; ‘Film production in Gotham has been on the rise for the past several years.’
• Horse opera – Western film; ‘John Carradine appeared in numerous horse operas throughout his career.’
• Hotsy – strong performance at the box office; ‘The Devil’s Advocate made a hotsy bow last weekend.’
• Huddle – (v.) to have a meeting; (n.) a meeting; ‘The exec was in a huddle and was not available for comment.’
• Legs – stamina at the box office; ‘The film opened big but rival distribs are dubious about its legs.’
• Lense – to film a motion picture; ‘The project will lense in Rome and New York.’
• Meller – melodrama; ‘The company is in pre-production on a meller about a blind woman held hostage on a New York City subway.’
• Moppet – child, especially child actor; ‘Elizabeth Taylor is one of the few moppets who
made the transition to adult star.’
• Mouse (also Mouse House) – the Walt Disney Co. or any division thereof, a reference to the company’s most famous animated character, Mickey Mouse; ‘The Mouse’s music division is reuniting with talent manager Alan Smithee on a joint-venture label.’
• (The) o.o. – the once-over; to examine something; ‘Sylvester Stallone gave the script the o.o. before passing on it.’
• Pen – (v.) to write; ‘Alan Smithee has been inked to pen the biopic about Abraham Lincoln.’
• Percenter (also tenpercenter) – agent; ‘Mike Ovitz was a percenter before becoming a talent manager.’
• Pour – cocktail party; ‘Universal held a pour for the press in New York to promote its upcoming release.’
• Praiser – publicist; ‘A praiser for the star had no comment on the deal.’
• Preem – (n.) an opening-night or première performance; (v.) to show a completed film for the first time; ‘Several of the pic’s stars were on hand for the preem’ or ‘The pic will preem Dec. 18.’
• Prexy (also prez) — president; ‘The studio has no plans to fill the prexy post in the wake of the exec’s resignation.’
• Shingle – a small business, often set up by an actor or established player at a larger company; ‘Tom Green has launched production shingle Tom Green Films.’
• Solon – an authority; someone in the know; from the ancient Greek wise man, Solon; ‘Solons say the deal is likely to go down by the end of the week.’
• Sprocket opera – film festival; ‘The actor plans to attend the annual Sundance sprocket opera next year.’
• Tentpole – Movie expected by a studio to be its biggest grossing blockbuster of the season, usually summer. Often the pic is the start of, or an instalment in, a franchise; ‘Armageddon was a successful tentpole in 1998.’
• Topline – to star; to be billed above the title of a show or film; ‘Julia Roberts will topline the director’s next pic.’
• Turnaround – no longer active; a project put into ‘turnaround’ has been abandoned by one studio and may be shopped to another.
• Unspool – to screen a film; ‘More than 30 films are set to unspool at the upcoming festival.’
• Wrap – to finish production; ‘The picture will wrap in the next two weeks.’
1987 BARFLY
A dissolute bohemian defends his lifestyle.
HENRY
Some people never go crazy. What truly horrible lives they must lead.
Dir: Barbet Schroeder • Scr: Charles Bukowski • Cast: Mickey Rourke (Henry Chinaski)
More famous for his novels than his screenplays, Bukowski was hailed by Time Magazine as a ‘laureate of American lowlife’. His stories and films are shocking and touching in equal measure, but rarely lack his characteristic dark humour. The script contains several other bitter gems:
‘It’s hatred. It’s the only thing that lasts.’
‘So you hired a dick to find an asshole?’
‘I’d hate to be you if I were me.’
‘Don’t be sorry, just put on some new underwear.’
1987 THE UNTOUCHABLES
Veteran Chicago patrolman Malone warns Federal agent Ness he will have to abandon his scruples if he hopes to bring Al Capone to justice.
MALONE
You said you wanted to get Capone. Do you really wanna get him? You see what I’m saying is, what are you prepared to do?
NESS
Anything within the law.
MALONE
And then what are you prepared to do? If you open the can on these worms you must be prepared to go all the way. Because they’re not gonna give up the fight, until one of you is dead.
NESS
I want to get Capone! I don’t know how to do it.
MALONE
You wanna know how to get Capone? They pull a knife, you pull a gun. He sends one of yours to the hospital, you send one of his to the morgue. That’s the Chicago way. And that’s how you get Capone. Now, do you want to do that? Are you ready to do that? I’m offering you a deal. Do you want this deal?
NESS
I have sworn to capture this man with all legal powers at my disposal and I will do so.
MALONE
Well, the Lord hates a coward.
He reaches out a hand. Ness shakes it.
MALONE
Do you know what a blood oath is, Mr Ness?
NESS
Yes.
MALONE
Good, ’cause you just took one.
Dir: Brian De Palma • Scr: David Mamet • Based on a book by Oscar Fraley, Eliot Ness • Cast: Sean Connery (Jim Malone), Kevin Costner (Eliot Ness)
1988 MISSISSIPPI BURNING
FBI agent Anderson warns his younger colleague Ward not to underestimate the determination of the Ku Klux Klan.
WARD
Some things are worth dying for.
ANDERSON
Down here, things are different. Here, they believe some things are worth killing for.
Dir: Alan Parker • Scr: Chris Gerolmo • Cast: Willem Dafoe (Alan Ward), Gene Hackman (Rupert Anderson)
1988 THEY LIVE
Nada seeks out aliens who have colonized the planet disguised as humans.
NADA
I’ve come here to chew bubblegum and kick ass. . . and I’m all out of bubblegum.
Dir: John Carpenter • Scr: John Carpenter • Based on a short story by Ray Nelson • Cast: Roddy Piper (Nada)
1989 LICENCE TO KILL
James Bond confronts drugs lord Sanchez.
BOND
In my business you prepare for the unexpected.
SANCHEZ
And what business is that?
BOND
I help people with problems.
SANCHEZ
Problem solver?
BOND
More of a problem eliminator.
Dir: John Glen • Scr: Michael G. Wilson, Richard Maibaum • Based on characters created by Ian Fleming • Cast: Timothy Dalton (James Bond), Robert Davi (Franz Sanchez)
Putting a dampener on 007’s swashbuckling style, the US credits for the film feature a tobacco warning from the United States Surgeon-General. The writers had originally intended the story to be set in the heroin-producing Golden Triangle, with sequences including a motorcycle chase along the Great Wall of China and a fight scene in the museum of the Terracotta Warriors, but the Chinese authorities vetoed the script.
The film was the first to use a title not directly taken from one of Ian Fleming’s James Bond novels, although the phrase ‘licence to kill’ occurs frequently with reference to 007’s powers. Octopussy (1983), The Living Daylights (1987) and Quantum of Solace (2008) all took their names from short stories featuring Bond. Remaining unadapted titles include ‘Property of a Lady’, ‘007 In New York’, ‘Risico’ and ‘The Hildebrand Rarity’.
1990 GOODFELLAS
A mobster recalls the moment of his arrest.
HENRY
For a second I thought I was dead, but when I heard all the noise I knew they were cops. Only cops talk that way. If they had been wiseguys, I wouldn’t have heard a thing. I would’ve been dead.
Dir: Martin Scorsese • Scr: Nicholas Pileggi, Martin Scorsese • Based on a book by Nicholas Pileggi • Cast: Ray Liotta (Henry Hill)
1994 PULP FICTION
Butch has just liberated Marsellus from being sodomized by two hillbillies, who now lie prostrate on the floor.
BUTCH
You okay?
MARSELLUS
Naw man. I’m pretty fuckin’ far from okay.
BUTCH
What now?
MARSELLUS
What now? Let me tell you what now. I’m a call a coupla hard, pipe-hittin’ niggers who’ll go to work on the homies here with a pair of pliers and a blow torch.
He turns to the rapists.
You hear me talkin’, hillbilly boy? I ain’t through with you by a damn sight. I’m a get
medieval on your ass.
Dir: Quentin Tarantino • Scr: Quentin Tarantino, Roger Avary • Cast: Bruce Willis (Butch Coolidge), Ving Rhames (Marsellus Wallace)
Quentin Tarantino (with Roger Avary) wrote many of the roles with specific actors in mind: Harvey Keitel as The Wolf, Amanda Plummer and Tim Roth as Honey Bunny and Pumpkin, and Samuel L. Jackson as Jules. Daniel Day-Lewis reportedly agreed to play Vincent but Tarantino overlooked him in favour of John Travolta; the film returned Travolta to major star status after several years of unremarkable roles. Tarantino, who plays Jimmie, had originally intended to take the part of drug dealer Lance but decided he would prefer to give his full attention as director in the scene where Mia (Uma Thurman) overdoses; the shot where Vincent tries to revive Mia with a shot of adrenaline was filmed in reverse to avoid harming the actress with the needle. The film, with its abundant references to earlier noir classics, was described by some critics as a masterpiece of post-modernism. Tarantino explained that his idea was simply ‘to take the oldest chestnuts that you’ve ever seen when it comes to crime stories... and then purposely having them run awry.’
1997 GROSSE POINTE BLANK
A professional hit-man attends his high school reunion but finds it hard to explain what he has been doing since he graduated.
DEBI
You’re a psychopath.
MARTIN
No, no. Psychopaths kill for no reason. I kill for money. It’s a job.
Dir: George Armitage • Scr: Tom Jankiewicz, D. V. DeVincentis, Steve Pink, John Cusack • Cast: Minnie Driver (Debi Newberry), John Cusack (Martin Q. Blank)
All the Best Lines Page 14