You threaten like a dockside bully.
CROMWELL
How should I threaten?
SIR THOMAS MORE
Like a minister of state. With justice.
CROMWELL
Oh, justice is what you’re threatened with.
SIR THOMAS MORE
Then I am not threatened.
Dir: Fred Zinnemann • Scr: Robert Bolt, based on his play • Cast: Paul Scofield (Sir Thomas More), Leo McKern (Thomas Cromwell)
Writer Robert Bolt took the title for his play from this contemporaneous description of the statesman: ‘More is a man of an angel’s wit and singular learning; I know not his fellow. For where is the man of that gentleness, lowliness and affability? And, as time requireth, a man of marvellous mirth and pastimes, and sometime of as sad gravity: a man for all seasons.’
1967 COOL HAND LUKE
Cool Hand Luke meets Carr, his prison warder.
CARR
Them clothes got laundry numbers on them. You remember your number and always wear the ones that has your number. Any man forgets his number spends a night in the box. These here spoons you keep with you. Any man loses his spoon spends a night in the box. There’s no playing grab-ass or fighting in the building. You got a grudge against another man, you fight him Saturday afternoon. Any man playing grab-ass or fighting in the building spends a night in the box. First bell’s at five minutes of eight when you will get in your bunk. Last bell is at eight. Any man not in his bunk at eight spends the night in the box. There is no smoking in the prone position in bed. To smoke you must have both legs over the side of your bunk. Any man caught smoking in the prone position in bed. . . spends a night in the box. You get two sheets. Every Saturday, you put the clean sheet on the top. . . the top sheet on the bottom. . . and the bottom sheet you turn in to the laundry boy. Any man turns in the wrong sheet spends a night in the box. No one’ll sit in the bunks with dirty pants on. Any man with dirty pants on sitting on the bunks spends a night in the box. Any man don’t bring back his empty pop bottle spends a night in the box. Any man loud talking spends a night in the box. You got questions, you come to me. I’m Carr, the floor walker. I’m responsible for order in here. Any man don’t keep order spends a night in...
LUKE
. . . the box.
CARR
I hope you ain’t going to be a hard case.
Dir: Stuart Rosenberg • Scr: Frank Pierson, Donn Pearce • Based on a novel by Donn Pierce • Cast: Clifton James (Carr), Paul Newman (Luke Jackson)
1968 THE LION IN WINTER
Eleanor of Aquitaine begs her sons to settle the succession to their father’s throne without bloodshed.
ELEANOR
We are the origins of war. Not history’s forces, nor the times, nor justice, nor the lack of it, nor causes, nor religions, nor ideas, nor kinds of government nor any other thing! We are the killers; we breed war. We carry it, like syphilis, inside. Dead bodies rot in field and stream because the living ones are rotten. For the love of God, can’t we love each other just a little? That’s how peace begins. We have so much to love each other for. We have such possibilities, my children; we could change the world.
Dir: Anthony Harvey • Scr: James Goldman, based on his play • Cast: Katharine Hepburn (Eleanor of Aquitaine)
1968 IF...
Mick rebels against his conservative, repressive schooling.
MICK
One man can change the world with a bullet in the right place.
Dir: Lindsay Anderson • Scr: David Sherwin, John Howlett • Cast: Malcolm McDowell (Mick Travis)
A WORD TO THE WISE
Producer Samuel Goldwyn famously said: ‘Pictures are for entertainment – messages should be delivered by Western Union.’ Even so, film-makers can rarely resist an opportunity to share a little wisdom. Some of the following lines are as pithy as aphorisms, others as impenetrable as a Zen koan, but if you take their advice, choose carefully...
Front seldom tell truth. To know occupants of house, always look in backyard.
Charlie Chan in London (1934)
Never do nothing you wouldn’t want printed on the front page of the New York Times.
Born Yesterday (1950)
Don’t ever hit your mother with a shovel. It leaves a dull impression on her mind.
Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid (1969)
A little nonsense now and then is relished by the wisest men.
Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory (1971)
Two wrongs don’t make a right but three rights will make a left.
Caddyshack (1980)
Named must your fear be before banish it you can.
Star Wars V: The Empire Strikes Back (1980)
It’s such a fine line between stupid and clever.
This Is Spinal Tap (1984)
There are three rules that I live by: never get less than twelve hours sleep; never play cards with a guy who has the same first name as a city; and never get involved with a woman with a tattoo of a dagger on her body.
Teen Wolf (1985)
I don’t make things difficult. That’s the way they get, all by themselves.
Lethal Weapon (1987)
A fool and his money are lucky enough to get together in the first place.
Wall Street (1987)
Truth hurts. Maybe not as much as jumping on a bicycle with the seat missing, but it hurts.
The Naked Gun 2½: The Smell of Fear (1991)
You know what the trouble about real life is? There’s no danger music.
The Cable Guy (1996)
You are not a beautiful or unique snowflake. You’re the same decaying organic matter as everything else.
Fight Club (1999)
The best way to get over a man is to get under a new one.
Good Advice (2001)
Worrying is like a rocking chair. It gives you something to do but it doesn’t get you anywhere.
Van Wilder (2002)
Never trust a guy who fumbles for the check.
Anything Else (2003)
Never pat a burning dog.
A Good Year (2006)
The further you run from your sins, the more exhausted you are when they catch up to you.
Inside Man (2006)
That which does not kill you only makes you. . . stranger.
The Dark Knight (2008)
At the end of a war you need some soldiers left, or else it looks like you’ve lost.
In the Loop (2009)
When you go fishing you can catch a lot of fish, or you can catch a big fish. You ever walk into a guy’s den and see a picture of him standing next to fourteen trout?
The Social Network (2010)
1971 W.R.: MYSTERIES OF THE ORGANISM
(W.R.- MISTERIJE ORGANIZMA)
A Communist party member vents his frustration with the system.
RADMILOVIĆ
Gentlemen, in our democracy everyone is entitled to a doughnut. Some get the doughnut, others get the hole in the doughnut.
Dir: Dušan Makavejev • Scr: Dušan Makavejev • Cast: Zoran Radmilović (Zoran Radmilović)
1972 AGUIRRE, WRATH OF GOD (AGUIRRE, DER ZORN GOTTES)
Insane, ambitious conquistador Aguirre leads his men in search of El Dorado.
AGUIRRE
I, the wrath of God, will marry my own daughter and with her I will found the purest dynasty the earth has ever seen.
Dir: Werner Herzog • Scr: Werner Herzog • Cast: Klaus Kinski (Don Lope de Aguirre)
Despite being shot entirely in Peru, the crew for the production consisted of only eight people. Most of the film was shot on a 35mm camera Herzog stole from his film school.
1974 CHINATOWN
A private investigator confronts Noah Cross, an unscrupulous property developer.
NOAH
Of course I’m respectable. I’m old. Politicians, ugly buildings and whores all get respectable if they last long enough.
Dir: Roman Polanski • Scr: Robert Town
e • Cast: John Huston (Noah Cross)
1974 THE GODFATHER: PART II
MICHAEL
If anything in this life is certain, if history has taught us anything, it is that you can kill anyone.
Dir: Francis Ford Coppola • Scr: Francis Ford Coppola, Mario Puzo • Based on a novel by Mario Puzo • Cast: Al Pacino (Michael Corleone)
1975 MONTY PYTHON AND THE HOLY GRAIL
KING ARTHUR
I am your king.
WOMAN
Well, I didn’t vote for you.
KING ARTHUR
You don’t vote for kings.
WOMAN
Well, how did you become king then?
KING ARTHUR
The Lady of the Lake, her arm clad in the purest shimmering samite, held aloft Excalibur from the bosom of the water, signifying by divine providence that I, Arthur, was to carry Excalibur. That is why I am your king.
DENNIS
Listen, strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony.
Dir: Terry Gilliam, Terry Jones • Scr: Graham Chapman, John Cleese, Eric Idle, Terry Gilliam, Terry Jones, Michael Palin • Cast: Graham Chapman (King Arthur), Terry Jones (Woman), Michael Palin (Dennis)
The film’s tight budget did not allow for many lavish historic locations. Another of the story’s highlights – Lancelot’s running dash to Swamp Castle – was filmed on Hampstead Heath beside one of London’s busiest road junctions.
1975 NASHVILLE
Party candidate Hal hopes to woo voters with an unpretentious speech.
HAL
Who do you think is running Congress? Farmers? Engineers? Teachers? Businessmen? No, my friends. Congress is run by lawyers. A lawyer is trained for two things and two things only. To clarify — that’s one. And to confuse — that’s the other. He does whichever is to his client’s advantage. Did you ever ask a lawyer the time of day? He told you how to make a watch, didn’t he? Ever ask a lawyer how to get to Mr Jones’ house in the country? You got lost, didn’t you?
Dir: Robert Altman • Scr: Joan Tewkesbury • Cast: Thomas Hal Phillips (Hal Phillip Walker)
The film contains a huge cast of characters and the dialogue was almost entirely improvised by them from the story outline. All the actors playing musicians wrote and performed their own songs, and all the onscreen music was recorded live.
1976 ALL THE PRESIDENT’S MEN
The editor of the Washington Post berates two reporters who have been uncovering the story of the Watergate break-in.
BRADLEE
You know the results of the latest Gallup Poll? Half the country never even heard of the word Watergate. Nobody gives a shit. You guys are probably pretty tired, right? Well, you should be. Go on home, get a nice hot bath. Rest up. . . fifteen minutes. Then get your asses back in gear. We’re under a lot of pressure, you know, and you put us there. Nothing’s riding on this except the, uh, First Amendment to the Constitution, freedom of the press, and maybe the future of the country. Not that any of that matters, but if you guys fuck up again, I’m going to get mad. Goodnight.
Dir: Alan J. Pakula • Scr: William Goldman • Based on a book by Carl Bernstein and Bob Woodward • Cast: Jason Robards (Ben Bradlee)
1983 MONTY PYTHON’S THE MEANING OF LIFE
CHAPLAIN
Let us praise God. O Lord...
CONGREGATION
O Lord...
CHAPLAIN
. . . Ooh, You are so big...
CONGREGATION
. . . ooh, You are so big...
CHAPLAIN
. . . So absolutely huge.
CONGREGATION
. . . So absolutely huge.
CHAPLAIN
Gosh, we’re all really impressed down here, I can tell You.
CONGREGATION
Gosh, we’re all really impressed down here, I can tell You.
CHAPLAIN
Forgive us, O Lord, for this, our dreadful toadying, and...
CONGREGATION
And barefaced flattery.
CHAPLAIN
But You are so strong and, well, just so super.
CONGREGATION
Fantastic.
HUMPHREY
Amen.
CONGREGATION
Amen.
Dir: Terry Jones, Terry Gilliam • Scr: Graham Chapman, John Cleese, Terry Gilliam, Eric Idle, Terry Jones, Michael Palin • Cast: Michael Palin (Chaplain), John Cleese (Humphrey Williams)
The Python team refused to show the studio a script on the basis that ‘If we couldn’t work out how to make a Monty Python film, they couldn’t tell us.’ Instead they submitted an outline budget and a poem:
There’s everything in this movie,
Everything that fits.
From the Meaning of Life in the universe,
To girls with great big tits.
We’ve got movie stars and foreign cars,
Explosions and the lot
Filmed as only we know how,
On the budget that we’ve got.
We spent a fortune on locations
And quite a bit on drink
And there’s even the odd philosophical joke,
Just to make you buggers think.
Yet some parts are as serious
And as deep as you could wish
But largely it’s all tits and ass
And quite a bit of fish.
Other bits are fairly childish
And some are frankly rude
But at least we’ve got a lot of nice girls
All banging around in the nude.
So take your seats, enjoy yourselves
And let’s just hope it’s funny
Because it’s not only done to make you laugh
But to make us lots of money.
So sit back and have a good time
With your boyfriend or your wife
Relax and just enjoy yourself
For this is the Meaning of Life.
1987 THE LAST EMPEROR
The fifteen-year-old Emperor of China quizzes his Scottish tutor about conditions outside the palace.
PU YI
Is it true, Mr Johnston, that many people out there have had their heads cut off?
JOHNSTON
It is true, your Majesty. Many heads have been chopped off. It does stop them thinking.
Dir: Bernardo Bertolucci • Scr: Mark Peploe, Bernardo Bertolucci • Cast: Peter O’Toole (Reginald Johnston), John Lone (Pu Yi)
The logistics for the epic production were breathtaking. The Internet Movie Database cites the following statistics:
19,000 extras were used over the course of the film;
Hairdresser Giancarlo De Leonardis imported 2,200 pounds of human hair to make the elaborate wigs needed for the court. For the coronation scenes, his staff spent ten days training fifty Chinese to pin wigs and plaits onto 2,000 extras in under two hours;
An Italian chef was brought in to cook for the international cast. He brought with him 22,000 bottles of Italian mineral water, 450 pounds of Italian coffee, 250 gallons of olive oil and 4,500 pounds of pasta;
The Buddhist lamas who appear in the film could not be touched by women, so extra male wardrobe helpers were hired to dress them;
Security was so tight around the shoot that when, one day, Peter O’Toole forgot his pass, he was denied entrance to the set.
1987 WALL STREET
Shareholder and corporate raider Gordon Gekko explains his decision to buy an ailing paper company.
GEKKO
Teldar Paper, Mr Cromwell, Teldar Paper has thirty-three different vice presidents each earning over 200,000 dollars a year. Now, I have spent the last two months analysing what all these guys do, and I still can’t figure it out. One thing I do know is that our paper company lost 110 million dollars last year, and I’ll bet that half of that was spent in all the paperwork going back and forth
between all these vice presidents. The new law of evolution in corporate America seems to be survival of the unfittest. Well, in my book you either do it right or you get eliminated. In the last seven deals that I’ve been involved with, there were 2.5 million stockholders who have made a pretax profit of 12 billion dollars. Thank you. I am not a destroyer of companies. I am a liberator of them! The point is, ladies and gentlemen, that greed, for lack of a better word, is good. Greed is right, greed works. Greed clarifies, cuts through, and captures the essence of the evolutionary spirit. Greed, in all of its forms; greed for life, for money, for love, knowledge has marked the upward surge of mankind. And greed, you mark my words, will not only save Teldar Paper, but that other malfunctioning corporation called the USA.
Dir: Oliver Stone • Scr: Oliver Stone, Stanley Weiser • Cast: Michael Douglas (Gordon Gekko)
1992 GLENGARRY GLEN ROSS
The employees in a real estate office are encouraged to be ruthless.
BLAKE
We’re adding a little something to this month’s sales contest. As you all know, first prize is a Cadillac Eldorado. . . Second prize is a set of steak knives. Third prize is you’re fired.
Dir: James Foley • Scr: David Mamet, based on his play • Cast: Alec Baldwin (Blake)
1993 PHILADELPHIA
Lawyer Joe Miller reminds a trial judge we live in an imperfect world.
JUDGE GARNETT
In this courtroom, Mr Miller, justice is blind to matters of race, creed, colour, religion, and sexual orientation.
JOE
With all due respect, your honour, we don’t live in this courtroom, do we?
Dir: Jonathan Demme • Scr: Ron Nyswaner • Cast: Charles Napier (Judge Garnett), Denzel Washington (Joe Miller)
1994 COLOR OF NIGHT
A psychiatrist is questioned after one of his patients commits suicide.
DR CAPA
Do I need a lawyer?
All the Best Lines Page 20