“It’s enough,” Liana said with an assurance she didn’t know she possessed. “You’re raising his children. You’re here by his side. You’re dedicated to him. That’s the kind of love that lasts, the kind temporary passion cannot buy.” Yes, Liana would be glad to trade any of her fleeting romantic relationships for the kind of security this couple shared. “At least that’s how I see it.”
Mercedes leaned over and put her arm around Liana in a brief squeeze. “Thank you for saying so. I do care for Wayne. He and my children are my life. And when it gets right down to it, past relationships are like . . .” She shrugged. “Like cattail fluff on the wind.”
“Warm and fuzzy, but too easily blown away?” Liana said, allowing a small smile.
Mercedes’ answering grin was genuine and full. “Exactly. Liana, I’m so glad you came. When Austin called to say he was bringing you, I thought of a plain, sharp-faced numbers lady, who wouldn’t approve of me at all and who would detest the farm. Instead I found a beautiful soul sister, a woman I can really talk to. You don’t know how I’ve needed that.”
For an intense moment, Liana wished Mercedes had been her sister. Perhaps having a sister would have helped her cope with life. A sister might have made her relationship with her adopted mother less tense, less filled with emotional pressure to have their relationship succeed.
Liana shoved the thoughts away. “I’m glad I came.”
“We’ll keep in touch, of course.” Mercedes stood and walked to the sink with the dishes in her hands. “I have e-mail.”
“E-mail?” Liana asked. “Where, in the barn?” Too late, she realized that could be misconstrued as an insult.
Mercedes spluttered a laugh. “No, in my room, silly. I keep up on things. I have two degrees, you know, and half of several others. Some day they might even come in handy.” The wounded look was gone from Mercedes’ face, replaced by her usual happiness.
“You never know,” Liana said. “You never know.”
CHAPTER 12
Diary of Karyn Olsen
Saturday, April 9, 1966
Travis walked me to class each day this past week, though it’s out of his way. And he called every night he didn’t come over to make sure I was okay. I love how that makes me feel. But he rarely touches me. Sometimes I just want him to grab me and kiss me senseless!
I know he respects me and doesn’t want to take advantage of me while I’m mourning, but I’m ready to move on. I tried to kiss him in my living room last night after we’d gone to a movie with a group of friends, thinking it would jump-start things, but somehow the kiss landed on his cheek instead (maybe he turned his head?). It was so embarrassing! I cried a little then—more in frustration than because of my dad. Travis held me very tight and told me it’d be okay. I believe him. Everything is all right when we’re together.
Austin drove up to Walker Farm slightly before six. The day had been grueling, but at least he had spared himself the drive to Sheridan by asking the manager of their store to meet him and the other store manager in Casper. The resulting meeting had helped everyone by sparking a friendly competition between the two stores. Austin gave them the leeway to enhance the company sales plan with the idea of sharing the most successful plan with the entire chain.
On his way to the farm he’d almost fallen asleep at the wheel, but now that his journey was finished, new energy surged through him. The sun hung low in the western sky with about an hour of light left. If he hurried, he might have time to show Liana the old swimming hole before dinner. Too bad it wasn’t summer so they could take a swim.
He found Liana and Mercedes in the living room with the quilt frame Wayne had made stretched out, leaving only a narrow open space around the edges of the room. In one of these small spaces, Wayne sat on the couch reading a storybook to Joseph and Scott, who were still in their pajamas. Darrel sat next to them, his homework on his lap. Sitting against the far wall, Liana was staring intently at a needle Mercedes wove expertly through the pieced quilt. There was a camaraderie between them that Austin recognized immediately.
“That makes sense,” Liana was saying. “As long as the stitches are uniform it looks great. But the piecing together—that takes brains.”
Mercedes laughed. “No, just a lot of measuring and patience. It’s therapeutic, really. Calms the nerves.”
“After all day with those papers, I need some calming.”
Mercedes laughed again, and Wayne stopped reading for a moment to watch her.
“Hello, I’m home,” Austin called from the doorway. Liana looked up with the others, and Austin was startled to see the change in her face. Her brows were relaxed, and her eyes signaled a peace he had not seen before. He wished he knew what had changed.
“Finished already?” Mercedes asked.
“With Wyoming. I have a few more states to go, though. Tomorrow I need to stop in Utah on the way home, if Liana doesn’t mind. That would save me a trip back.”
“I don’t mind. I have two boxes of papers to put into that laptop you lent me. I’ll be plenty busy.”
“Would you like to go for a walk?” Austin asked her. “There’s something I want you to see.”
Darrel looked up, eyes bright. “What is it?”
Austin smiled at his nephew’s eagerness. “The swimming hole.” He couldn’t explain why it was so important, and he was glad no one asked.
“I would like to stretch my legs,” Liana said.
“Can I go?” Darrel asked. “Please?”
“Is your homework done?” Mercedes looked up from the quilt, but her fingers didn’t stop stitching.
Darrel’s face fell. “Not yet. But I can do it later, after dinner.”
“There’s still the milking.”
Wayne looked up from his book. “I can do the milking alone tonight—just this once.” He smiled. “It isn’t every day Austin’s here with a friend.”
Mercedes face softened as she met her husband’s eyes. “Okay then, Darrel. But only ’cause your daddy said so. Just make sure you finish your homework after dinner.” She left her needle in the fabric and stood. “Speaking of which, I’d better go turn off the oven. Apparently, dinner’s going to be a bit delayed tonight.” Her smile showed she wasn’t upset at the idea. “And no, Joseph and Scott. Don’t even think about asking to go outside. You’re both lucky to be allowed out of bed.”
Austin, Liana, and Darrel left the house, escaping the chorus of disappointed complaints from the younger boys. They had gone only a few steps when Wayne emerged from the house. “Would you like me to saddle a few horses? It’s a mite far.”
“You mean for city folk,” Austin countered.
Wayne’s smile was slow and wide. “Exactly. Well?”
Austin looked at Liana, who had gone quite pale. “I think I’d rather walk,” she said.
“Setzer would be nice,” Austin said. “I promise.”
Liana shook her head. “Maybe next time.”
Austin refrained from reminding her that there wasn’t likely to be a next time. The thought sobered him. “We’ll cut through the fields.”
Wayne nodded and went inside.
“I need to change first.” Austin started for the barn. “I won’t be long.”
“Take your time. I’ll visit the goats.”
“I want to hurry. There’s not much sunlight left.”
When he was dressed in jeans and a matching denim jacket, they began their walk toward the small grove of trees that lined the river, careful to walk in the small break between the alfalfa and wheat fields. Already the alfalfa was several inches high, and the wheat not far behind. “We used to make nests in the alfalfa,” Austin told Liana as Darrel ran on ahead. “My dad would be furious at us for tramping what would become the hay for the animals, but Wayne—he came to work for us when I was five and Mercedes was eight—he just laughed and told us to go right ahead. He always made sure he was the one who cut the part of the fields where we’d been playing so my father wouldn’t yell
at us.”
“He seems like a good man.”
“The best. I’m glad Mercedes finally married him. He’d been in love with her since about the time she went to college.”
Liana nodded. “Anyone can see how he feels about her.”
Was that envy in her voice? Austin couldn’t be sure.
Darrel was far ahead of them now, jumping over the young alfalfa plants like a young goat. He seemed to know exactly where to place his feet without even looking. Skirting the field, they hurried after him.
“So, you’re afraid of horses?” Austin asked.
“Just of riding them.” Liana gave him a smile. “Something left over from childhood. First grade, I think.”
Austin nodded. “A very impressionable age.” First grade had been when he first realized that his mother loved his father more than she could ever begin to care about him.
“Not a big deal, really,” she said. “I do feel like walking. My legs need it after the day I’ve had.”
“You sorted all the boxes?”
“Mostly. It got so I could sort of skim a box and see basically what it contained. There are a few more I need to go through, but we can take them back to Nevada.” They walked in silence for a minute, and then she asked, “So how did your day go?”
Austin recounted in detail the meeting and the competition he’d set up. By the time he finished, they had reached the river, and he realized he had monopolized the conversation. Besides her brief comments about the boxes of paper, she hadn’t told him about her day—especially what had happened between her and Mercedes. Something had cemented their relationship, and Austin was glad for it, but a small part of him was envious.
“There it is,” he said, leading her to the place where the river widened.
She stopped to catch her breath. “Did you pile up those rocks to make the dam?”
“A lot of the rocks were already here, but whether they were put here by past owners of the farm or naturally occurring, I don’t know. Mercedes and I and some of our friends hauled more rocks and limbs to make it better. When the river was really low, we’d fill the cracks with smaller rocks and pieces of wood. That kept enough water here to make a good pool all summer. I learned how to swim here.”
“What’s that for?” She pointed to the rope that hung from a huge oak whose uppermost branches spread over the river.
“Our swing. See the big knot at the end? We’d stand or sit on that, and our buddies would push us out over the water. The braver ones would hold onto the rope and jump from that lower tree limb that stretches out over the bank. That’s where Darrel’s climbing up to now. It’s like flying.”
The smooth white of her neck was exposed as she looked up into the tree. “Sounds fun. That tree limb’s awful high, though.”
“Not as high as the one where the rope is tied. I actually fell into the river a couple times trying to tie it up there. But that branch where Darrel’s standing is more than two feet wide and perfect for just about anything. I can’t tell you how many times I fell asleep up there during lazy summer afternoons.”
“Good thing you didn’t roll.”
He shrugged. “The ground isn’t too hard. Lots of grass padding.”
She laughed. “So you did fall.”
“A time or two. Broke my arm once. Didn’t stop me, though.”
“I’ll bet.”
“Look, Darrel’s going to try the rope!” Austin ran over to the base of the tree with Liana close behind. Above them, Darrel stood on the wide tree limb. “Darrel, hang on tight,” Austin called. “The water’s too cold! And it’s pretty full, too. If you fall in, your mother will kill me.” As a child, Austin had swum in the river March through October—but he hadn’t had a mother like Mercedes.
“I won’t fall,” Darrel called with the confidence of youth. His skinny hands wrapped around the rope as he pushed himself off the limb. Over the river he flew, screaming his excitement. Out once, twice, and a third time before he jumped off the rope onto the bank.
“Three times is all you can go or you can’t get back without jumping into the water,” Austin explained to Liana.
“Which, of course, is the best—right? In warmer weather, I mean.”
“In any weather.” He winked at her.
Darrel grabbed a long stick leaning up against the tree trunk. A metal hook at the end made it easy for him to catch the swinging rope as it neared the bank. He pulled it in. “Your turn, Uncle Austin.”
“Me?” Austin put his hand to his chest in mock horror. “What if I slip?”
Darrel giggled. “Then you get wet! Come on, Uncle Austin, you never slip unless you want to.”
“Okay, okay. You talked me into it. But I want to do it from above like you did—it’s so much better.” Holding the rope in one hand, Austin wedged his foot in the tree where it split into branches and began to climb. As a boy he had believed God had children in mind when He made this tree grow, and his opinion hadn’t changed. “Too bad it’s not summer!” he shouted to Liana. “Then you’d really see how it’s done.”
“Hey, don’t yell—I’m right behind you.”
He almost lost his hold at that. Liana Winn, ice princess, climbing a tree? Grinning, he covered the last few steps to the first branch, which was at least two feet wide. He was about to offer a hand to Liana but saw that she didn’t need help.
Darrel followed them up, scampering past them on the tree limb like a sure-footed monkey. “Go, Uncle Austin. Go!”
Austin grabbed onto the rope and jumped. At first he had the feeling of falling, but then the rope went taut and he was flying over the swollen river. “Whoo-hoo!” he shouted. If Darrel hadn’t been there, he might have let go. Yes, the water was likely freezing, but it would also be invigorating.
After landing on the bank he caught the swinging rope and climbed up the tree again. Liana was sitting on the limb, legs crossed Indian style. Wisps of hair had escaped her braid to curl gently around her face. “Nothing like it,” he said, swallowing the odd lump in his throat. “Except galloping on horseback. That’s like flying, too.”
“I’ll bet.”
“Well, it’s your turn,” he teased.
Jumping to her feet, she took the rope from him.
“I was just joking.”
She tossed her head, blue eyes gleaming. “I’m not.”
“Way to go!” Darrel did a little dance that made the whole tree limb shake despite it’s thickness.
Austin stepped closer to Liana. “You don’t have to.”
“Yes, I do.” She grinned, and he grinned with her.
“Okay, then. Hold on really tight. Especially at first. There’ll be a big jerk until the rope goes tight.”
She adjusted her grip, took a deep breath, and jumped. Austin watched anxiously as the rope tightened and Liana sailed out over the water. “Yee-haw!” she screamed, a look of pure joy on her face.
“Yee-haw?” Austin looked at Darrel, who shrugged.
“She’s pretty brave for a girl,” Darrel said.
Austin nodded. “She really is.” He turned his attention back to Liana. “One more pass and then jump for it. Be careful—the bank can be slippery.”
Liana had her eyes closed and her face raised to the large patches of darkening sky that could be seen through the trees, as though no one else in the world existed. A stab of loneliness shot through Austin. She was . . . untouchable. Out of reach.
Then she slipped. With a cry, she plunged down, down into the dark water with a splash, disappearing into its icy depths. Darrel let out a big whoop, and Austin scrambled down the tree to the edge of the bank. “Liana?” The water was deep because of the spring runoff from the mountains, but because of the dam it wasn’t particularly swift. Surely she knew how to swim. Ripples spread out from the place where she had fallen, slapping against the sides of the bank and wetting Austin’s shoes.
He was debating whether he should go in after her when she broke through the water, gasping for breath
. “Oooh!” she said. “It’s cold.”
Austin laughed. “The idea was to hold on to the rope.”
She swam over to the bank, her lips already turning blue. “I know that.”
There seemed to be an unfinished meaning to her words. Could she have fallen on purpose? Austin shook his head. “Need a hand?”
A brief glint of amusement shone in her eyes, and Austin wondered if she’d thought about pulling him in. Truthfully, he would have welcomed such an advance. Together in the cold water, with every nerve tingling, alive . . . He couldn’t finish the thought.
She climbed up the bank without help and ran her hands down her legs to squeeze the water from her jeans. Her blouse clung to her, and she pulled out the front and then the back, loosening it from her skin. Goose bumps stood out on her arms and legs.
Austin watched her with more than a little interest, until she shivered and he remembered his jacket. “Here, take this.”
She smiled. “There you go, trying to be a knight again.”
“Well, if you’d rather not have the jacket . . .”
She grabbed hold of it. “No, this time I’ll let you play the role. That water’s like ice.”
He didn’t immediately release the jacket. The hands touching his were cold, but they sent heat into his body. They were close, too close. Austin didn’t want to step away. There was power here, a connection. Something beyond mere attraction. Did she feel it too? The wide, surprised look in her eyes said she did.
She tugged on the jacket, and reluctantly he let it go. “We’d better hurry and get you back to the farm. Mercedes is going to kill me.”
“It was my choice to go on the swing.”
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