by Ellie Danes
“Ryder!” I shouted as I ran toward my room.
“He isn't here, and it would be best if you gave him a little time,” Tristan said from my living room. Curtis brought Ryder’s bag from my room.
“What why?” I asked. I had been in the dark for the last two hours and I wasn't hearing any of this shit. “I need to talk to him.”
“What about? You kissing that other guy or the fact that you've been fucking him behind his back for months?”
“No! That hasn't been happening. Who told you that?” I demanded.
“The same guy that’s pressing charges against Ryder for assault. Why don't you do us all a favor and call him off. It's over.”
“It's not over, it can't be,” I shouted as Tristan walked toward the door.
“I'm sorry, Zoey.” Curtis shut my door after them.
I curled into a ball and cried. I lost track of time but I knew it was the wee hours of the morning when I stood and dragged myself to bed.
“Where’s Ryder?” Annette asked. She was just getting in from a night out as I walked out of my bedroom.
“What the fuck?” She rushed toward me. “Zoey, what the hell happened to you?”
“Peter showed up and grabbed me from behind and kissed me before I could stop him. Ryder saw but he didn't see me shove him off or see Amy punch him. He told Ryder I've been sleeping with him for months.”
“What an asshole.”
“I can't believe that he did this,” I mumbled.
“I can't believe that Ryder believed that shit.” Annette frowned. She stood and grabbed her purse off the counter.
“Where are you going?” I asked.
“I’ll be back later.”
Chapter Forty
Ryder
I hardly remembered the last few hours. All I knew was that Zoey was gone and what I thought had been real, never really was. It had felt real and she had never given me reason not to believe her, but I saw her kissing that guy with my own eyes.
Amy had tried to talk to me, and Tristan too, but I had shut everybody out. I needed to pull myself together. Honestly, I just wanted to cry like the big fucking wuss that I was. I shoved all my stuff into my bags, leaving earlier than I wanted or planned to, but I had to get the hell out of New York.
I pulled my bag over my back and stalked out of the hotel room. Tristan made sure I was good before he left with Amy. I watched them walk away and for the second time in my life, I was jealous. I was jealous that even with all the baggage they had, what they had together was working. Hell, I was just jealous they were even together. I could have dealt with some baggage. I couldn’t deal with being lied to.
Chapter Forty-One
Zoey
I tried to call Amy again, but it went straight to voicemail. Then I tried Ryder. It rang twice, then went to voicemail.
“Please pick up the phone or call me back. I never cheated on you. We need to talk about this, and shutting me out isn't helping. Please, I love you.”
It had to be the hundredth message I’d left and I would keep leaving them until he called me back or answered. I wasn't sure where he was, but if I didn't hear from him soon, I would be taking the train and getting in his face.
I made one more call to Amy’s office phone and left her a message. If nothing else, I just wanted to make sure Ryder was all right. As all right as he could be, considering what he thought was the truth.
“Please, someone call me. I need to know he’s okay.”
Chapter Forty-Two
Ryder
“Ryder!” Someone yelled my name. I looked over my shoulder and saw Annette running across the street toward me.
“I don't want to talk,” I insisted.
“I don't give a fuck what you want, douche nozzle. I care about the fact that my best friend in the whole world looks like hell and she told me you won't speak to her over some bullshit with her even douchier ex.”
“Yeah, and?” I kept walking.
“Did you even talk to her?”
“I didn't need to talk to her. I saw her kissing him,” I roared and turned on her. “I can't unsee that. You think I’m happy about the fact that she’s been fucking him behind my back for months?”
“What?” She laughed. She had the nerve to fucking laugh in my face. “Are you serious right now? Do you even know who that guy is?”
“Yeah, her side piece from what he told me.” I turned to start walking again.
“Wow, you don't fucking deserve her if you’re going to believe that asshat without even talking to Zoey.” She punched my arm, then turned on her heel and walked away.
Chapter Forty-Three
Tristan
“I can't believe this shit.” I walked around the suite.
“What shit?” Amy yawned as she walked into the room and wrapped her arms around me.
“All this shit with Ryder.”
“I mean, he hit a dude. What did he think was going to happen?” she asked.
“No. I mean the shit with Zoey.”
“What shit with Zoey?” She pushed away from me and looked me in the face. “What shit with Zoey, Tristan?” she asked again.
“Some guy told him she had been fucking him for months when Ryder wasn't around.”
“Did said guy happen to have a crooked nose that looked like it had recently been punched?” she asked.
“Yeah, now that I think about it.”
“That's because I’m the one who punched him,” she said, perching her hands on her hips.
“You what?”
“I punched him. He was all over Zoey and she was shoving at him to get off. I pulled her away and then I punched him in the nose. Zoey heard Ryder yelling and then all of that other crap happened and then she was gone. I figured she was with Ryder.”
I stared at her. “Shit.”
“Where is she, Tristan? What happened?”
I shrank under her stare.
“What the hell did you do?” She shoved me. “Tristan, what did you do?”
“I may have said something not so nice to Zoey and then had her escorted out of the arena.”
“Oh my god. You are the biggest asshole on the planet. Where is my phone?” She started ripping the room apart. After a minute, she found it. “It's dead. Has yours rung today?”
I shook my head as she went into the bedroom and slammed the door.
I walked toward the door and leaned against it so I could hear her conversation. It was quiet for about five minutes and then I heard her talking.
“Are you okay? Oh god honey, I'm sorry…. My phone was dead. He said what to you?”
Oh hell, I was screwed. Not that I didn’t deserve it.
“No, I'll get in touch with Ryder and then it will all be okay,” Amy told her. “It will. Where are you? Wasn't his stuff there? …He did, did he? Uh huh…. Okay, love you, honey, hang in there. We’ll get this straightened out. I'll call you back in just a bit.”
I heard her stomping toward the door so I stood there and took it.
She flung the door open and punched me square in the arm. Hurt like hell, too.
“Why the hell would you do that?” she barked.
“I didn't—”
“You know what! It doesn't matter, I'm gonna make a suggestion here and you might want to listen. Find Ryder and get him over here, now! You’re going to help me fix this shit!”
“He left.”
“Where did he go?”
“He said he had to get out of here and he left. I haven't talked to him and he won't answer texts or phone calls. I’ve tried to check on him,” I explained.
“Call his dad.” She put her hands on her hips and waited. I lifted my phone and dialed Chuck Rollins.
“Hey, it's Tristan. Have you heard from Ryder?”
Chuck said, “No, I haven’t.”
“I really need to talk to him.”
“He didn’t say where he was going, sorry.”
“Oh, okay. Will you let me know if you hear from him?
”
Chuck agreed to let me know if Ryder got in touch, and we ended the call.
Amy’s face fell as the conversation ended.
I winced. “Maybe you should call Zoey back and let her know what is going on and that I'm sorry.”
“This is one apology I am not making for you. You need to call her and tell her you're sorry.” She walked out of the room and slammed the bedroom door.
I decided a phone call wasn’t apology enough. I went to Zoey’s place to talk to her. I had made a snap judgement based on my feelings about what was happening. All I could see was Amy in her place and I had lost all reason.
I shouldn't have had her kicked out. I should have waited to get all the details, but I wasn't thinking about anything but how to get the situation with Ryder under control. Maybe it was a bad decision, no, I knew it was a bad decision, and I needed to make this right. I was supposed to protect Ryder from this kind of bullshit, and I had caused almost all of it.
“What do you want, Tristan?” Zoey asked as she pulled the door open. Her eyes were swollen and red from crying and she looked exhausted.
“I'm so sorry.”
“Sorry about what? That you destroyed Ryder or that you destroyed me?”
“Both.” I sighed. “May I come in?”
She huffed then opened the door and stood to the side to allow me in, but she didn’t say a word.
I sank into the chair closest to me.
“I just wanted to come and apologize in person. I didn't know everything. I saw what he saw, and we both jumped to the same conclusion when that guy started talking about being with you and that you were always going to be his. I was so caught up in the moment that I acted without getting all the facts. Amy just told me what really happened.”
“He's my ex. He cheated on me during most of our relationship, and I was too stupid to see it. I haven't seen him in over a year. Maybe I should have told Ryder that he tried to contact me a few times, but I didn't think it mattered. I shut him down every time he tried to talk to me. I just didn't think he would try something like this.”
“Look, I'll fix this with Ryder. I just need to find him,” I promised her.
“Good luck with that. I've left him a hundred messages and texts and he hasn't answered anything.”
Chapter Forty-Four
Ryder
I got off the plane in Vegas and went straight for the gym. I walked in, dropped my bags, and made a bee-line for the treadmill.
I ran for an hour until my legs were shaking and I could barely breathe. I wanted to pass out—I needed to pass out. Maybe I should just get drunk and forget for a while. I needed to make my heart feel better. Alcohol seemed like the perfect remedy. At least it would make me forget for a while.
I found myself at a hole in the wall bar and half-drunk with women on both sides of me. While the thought of mindless sex crossed my mind, I didn’t think I could have gotten a hard-on if I tried. Maybe that part of my life was over for now. I drank and drank and drank until I didn't remember anything.
Which was exactly how I ended up without a clue where I was. The concrete wall was warm against my cheek and the sun was hot on my back. When I opened my eyes and everything came into focus, I realized I’d hit a new low—passed out behind the bar in a parking lot with my dick in my hands. Nice.
I sat up, tucked myself in my pants, then stood looking for the rental car I was sure I’d driven here in. Didn’t take long to find it since it was one of only three cars left in the lot.
I climbed inside and leaned back against the seat. My stomach rolled and I felt the contents start to travel up my throat. I opened the door and vomited in the parking lot. It was mostly liquid, and I tried to remember the last time I ate. Maybe before the fight? I had won a fucking title and lost my girl in the same fifteen minutes. So much for that fifteen minutes of fame people always talked about.
I couldn't believe it. I shook my head and groaned. I needed to call my dad, but I also needed a few days to pull my shit together and Dad would insist I do that much sooner. I needed a few more drinking binges before I could face anyone I knew.
Chapter Forty-Five
Zoey
Have you heard from him?
I text Amy again. No one had heard from him and no one knew where he was. He had just dropped off the face of the planet.
My phone rang and Annette’s name flashed across the screen.
“Hello?” I answered.
“He’s in Vegas,” she said.
“What? I need to get out there. Now.”
“I think you need to sit down first. I need to tell you this.”
“What?” My heart sank.
“There are pictures of him at a club with women all over him.”
“He wouldn't do that to me,” I said and immediately realized things were different in his mind. “Shit. I need to get to him before he does something really stupid.” I had to keep it together and look beyond what I was going to see. “I’m going to let Amy and Tristan know you found him, then I’m going to the airport.”
“Okay, I'm closer to LaGuardia so head there.”
“You're coming?” I asked.
“You’re not going alone.”
“What about Rick?” I said. “Didn’t you guys have some kind of thing this weekend?”
“Nope, because I just dumped his ass.”
I couldn’t help but feel a little jealous of Annette. She was finding her way, just when it seemed I’d completely lost mine.
“Come on, Zoey,” she said. “Let’s get Ryder back for you. I’ll meet you at the airport.”
Chapter Forty-Six
Ryder
The beer was flowing and as long as I sat in this casino, it was free. I played a little blackjack but I was really here to get drunk. I left the blackjack table and found a penny slot machine. Good, it required less thinking. I played for a few hours and then headed to my room. I wanted to plug my phone in and scroll through the life that had been mine even if for a little while. I also knew that I needed to call my dad and at least let him know I was alive. That was the first thing I did.
“Hey, Pops.”
“You sound drunk,” he said, not beating around the bush.
“That's ’cause I am.” I laughed into the phone but not because it was funny.
“Have you talked to Zoey?” he asked.
“Why the hell would I do that?”
“You need to call her,” he insisted.
“Pass.” I sighed.
“Son, things aren’t as black and white as you might think. It would be in your best interest if you called her.”
“Pass,” I repeated.
“Where are you?” he asked.
“Vegas.”
“Why the hell are you in Vegas?” he shouted.
“I needed to be away from her, all of it.”
“You need to come home.”
“Maybe in a few days. I need to get my shit together and then I'll head that way. I'll be in touch. Love ya, Pops.”
“Ryd—”
I was already hitting the end call button.
Chapter Forty-Seven
Zoey
“Slow down, we don't even know where he is,” Annette said as I practically ran through the airport.
“We have to find him. Get on that damn gossip magazine site and figure out what part of Vegas he’s in.”
Annette tapped rapidly at her phone screen. “Found him. He’s at the Wynn,” she announced proudly. “I love the internet.”
I hailed a cab and told the driver where to go. I wrung my hands. I had to see him. I wanted him to see me—I wanted him to see that no matter what, I would always come for him. Protect him. Love him.
I handed the driver some cash and jumped from the cab carrying my one overnight bag. I ran into the hotel and asked for Ryder Rollins’s room. The lady at the counter refused to give me any information. I turned to Annette and started talking quickly.
“Sit here and watch for him�
��I'm gonna check the casino.” I walked around the casino until I finally caught sight of him. I wanted to go to him but I knew this conversation wasn't one we should have in the middle of a busy casino. I watched him for over an hour until he started to move toward the elevators. I followed him and slipped into the elevator.
He smelled like the inside of a bottle of gin. I didn’t know if that would work in my favor or not.
“Ryder,” I said his name softly.
He turned and smiled at me. “You look just like my girl…or the girl who used to be my girl.” He moved toward me.
“Ryder, I'm so sorry,” I said, and he stopped tilting his head and looking me over.
“Wait. You are her,” he slurred. “What are you doing here? My heart not broken enough for you?”
“It wasn't what you thought. I never did any of the things he said.”
“Oh, what? Now that the meal ticket is bigger, you want to ride this train?” He pumped his hips toward me. I had to remember that this was Tristan talking, and not my Ryder.
“I don't care how much money you have, I make my own living.”
“Of course you do, and your living has my name all over it. You know what, it doesn't matter.” He shook his head and swayed away from me. “I don't want to see you now, or ever.”
Talking to him while he was drunk was definitely not working in my favor.
“This is my room number.” I reached for his hand and wrote the information Annette had texted me about our room on his skin. “Come see me in the morning when you aren't drunk. I love you.”
I pushed a button and stepped out of the elevator when the doors opened. I watched as his eyes filled with tears and I wanted nothing more than to rush back in and pull him into my arms. I knew I couldn't and that this conversation would have to wait.
I sighed when the doors closed and then pushed the button to go back and find Annette. I called Amy when I got back to the lobby and let her know what was going on.
“I found him, and he is drunk off his ass. I’ll call you guys after we talk—just wanted to give you a heads up.”