by Jessa Eden
He was sorely mistaken.
I went into the men’s room as rage made my blood run ice cold. Standing in front of the sink, I splashed water on my face and geared up for the ugly confrontation I was about to have. With no hesitation, I was going to cut my father out of my life. For good.
I took a deep breath and walked back to my office. I tore open the wooden door, startling my father, who had been sitting on the couch.
He stood up abruptly. “I wanted to come in and talk,” he offered with an awkward smile as I strode directly toward him.
“Let’s talk.” My rage was barely concealed as I confronted him. “You blackmailed Marla? You threatened to take Emma away from her?” I shouted as I made a beeline for him.
“Bubba, it wasn’t like that. Everything I did, I did for you.”
“What the hell are you talking about? Nothing was ever about me. You were only interested in making sure my life turned out the way you wanted. What about what I wanted? Did you ever think about that?” I asked, grabbing his lapels and pulling him close.
For the first time, I saw fear enter my old man’s eyes. He was finally showing his age as he paled, making the few wrinkles he had, stand out around his cold eyes.
“Bubba, I was trying to protect you. She would have ruined your future. You would have never been as successful if you had stayed together.”
I let him go of him as brokenness blasted through me. “She was the love of my life,” I hit the center of my chest with my fist. “...the love of my life, Dad, and you took that from me.”
He ignored my feelings as arrogance filled his gaze. “At the time, Bubba, I was trying to get you the best shot to go after your dream. Look at all you’ve accomplished. You own the goddamn team, now. Thanks to me.”
Anger blinded me. It was always about him. “So, you thought my best shot was taking Marla away?”
“She’s trash, Bubba. You need a woman who matches your class.”
“Ugh!” I grabbed him by the collar and pushed him up against the wall.
“Bubba!” he yelled wildly, glancing around for help.
My eyes were naked with heartbreak. “I was fucked up for so long. I was broken after she left me. How could you do that to me?”
“I did what I thought best, Bubba,” he said quietly.
“You just couldn’t help yourself, could you? You just had to shit on everything that didn’t follow your plan. I’m done, Dad; I’m done. As far as I’m concerned, I don’t have a father. You are no longer family and you are not welcome in my life, my son’s life, or Marla’s.”
“You don’t mean that.”
“You did this to yourself and I don’t ever want to see you, again. Get out of my face and my life.”
My father’s proud face fell into shock. “Bubba, I’m your father. You can’t mean that.”
“I absolutely do.”
He sucked in a breath, a tear sliding down his face. “I did this all for you, son,” he whispered brokenly.
I wasn’t buying his bullshit anymore. “Don’t call me son. Stop the manipulations. You mean nothing to me and I don’t need you. I have plenty of power, old man, and I won’t hesitate to use it, if you do anything to harm my family. Are we clear? Do you understand?”
He nodded, his elegant face crushed with defeat.
“Good. I never want to see you again. Now, get the hell out of here!” I screamed, walking away from him.
*****
I wasn’t about to stay in the office for the rest of the day after that ugliness. All of my employees probably heard me yell at my father, but I didn’t care. It needed to be done and I was happy to cut his miserable existence out of my life.
Walking out into the sunshine as I walked to the Bugatti, I had a sudden need to see Charly. I hadn’t left things in good shape last time I saw him, but it was time to make things right.
I drove over and surprised him with a chili hot dog.
“Bubba!” he cried, throwing his arms around me after he opened his door.
How could I ever be mad at him?
“Hey, Pops.” I hugged him back, grateful he was still in my life.
“What brings you by?”
“Two things: My dad came to see me today at the office and I brought you a treat.” I showed him the bag from his favorite chili dog place.
“Thanks, Bubba. Come on in.”
I followed him to the kitchen, where he opened the bag and got out the chili dogs. After putting them on plates, we sat down on the bar stools in front of the granite island.
“How did it go with your dad?” he asked after he finished his first bite.
“I don’t know what to think, Pops. I can’t stand the fact that he made this whole mess.”
“I understand. Your daddy doesn’t feel like the rest of us. He’s been that way his whole life.”
“I know all that, Pops. But this hurts like a motherfucker.”
He patted my arm, his blue eyes stark with pain. “I know, son.”
“I just feel so lost...so goddamn lost.”
“Take some time, Bubba. You’ve had so much success in your professional life, but your personal life has been a mess since Marla broke up with you all those years ago. You have a chance to make this right and be with her for the rest of your life.”
“Maybe. I don’t know about anything, anymore.”
“You have a second chance, Bubba. Don’t blow it. Marla has loved you fiercely since the day you brought her home for dinner.”
“You remember that?”
“Of course. How could I forget the first and only girl you ever brought home?”
“God, I love her, Pops. I always have. I just don’t know if I can be with her while all this is going on.”
“You’ve spent enough time hiding out and not living. Go love that girl. Live the life you were meant to.”
His words reverberated within me, but my consuming desire to annihilate my father was stronger. I wasn’t content to cut him out of my life; I needed to bury him.
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
Marla:
I ran my hands through Beau’s short-cropped brown hair. He was lying on my couch, his head in my lap. He was a total wreck and in need of some serious TLC.
He had shown up about thirty minutes ago, looking tired and worn out as he filled me in on the whole sorry story of confronting his dad.
“How do you feel after cutting your father out of your life?” I asked gently as I massaged around his temples.
He sighed. “I thought it would feel good, you know? Like I cut out some disease, but instead I feel shitty and lost.”
I found some trigger points on the back of his head and pressed. “Yeah, there is no clear cut sense of victory here. I know you’re hurt and feeling betrayed by your dad, but maybe someday, you’ll wanna talk to him again. I think you need to give yourself permission to be okay with that.”
“Yeah, maybe. I’m just so damn pissed off.”
“You’re such a strong man, Beau Shepard. You’ve survived a broken heart, built an empire, forgiven me, and stood up to your father.”
“I don’t feel strong.”
“I know, but I’m gonna trust you’re going to work through your grief and come back stronger for it.”
“How did you get so wise, Marla Matthews?”
“Oh, I had a lot practice soothing many the wounded heart.”
He sat up and cupped my face, the pad of his thumb rubbing my cheek softly as his blue eyes melted with love. “I can see that about you. I know you soothe me.”
My eyes mirrored his affection. “Do I?”
“Yes, you do. You climbed into my heart and never left. No matter how many times I wished you weren’t there. I have to say I fell in love with you when I watched you take on Jeremy pickin’ on that poor kid, Jonathan. I had never seen anything like it. You showed no fear and stuck up for him without any regard to your own safety.”
“Well, he had no right—”
He put
his finger over my mouth. “Shh. I know you still feel the injustice of that moment, but I’m trying to tell you something.”
“What?” I mumbled through my closed lips.
His blue eyes burned with love. “I came alive when I met you.”
“You did?” I asked, taking his finger off my mouth.
“Yeah, I’ve never gotten over you. I’m still crazy about you.”
“I feel the same way. I love you, Shepard.”
“And I’ve never stopped loving you, Sunshine,” he said, his mouth claiming mine.
*****
Beau:
I wasn’t done with my father.
Not by a long shot.
I thought about it long and hard, but I knew what I needed to do.
My father had probably ruined dozens of lives with his manipulations.
It was time to expose his misdeeds.
I had Donna call the FBI and connect me to Agent Albright. I was ready to negotiate my terms to help him out with the Senator.
“I’m ready to help you,” I told Agent Albright as he came on the line.
“Very happy to hear that, Mr. Shepard.”
“But I have some conditions.”
“Like what?”
“I want my father taken down with the Senator.”
“That’s not something we’re after,” he countered.
“My father’s been taking kickbacks for years. He has his greedy hands in every deal in this city.”
“Like I said, we’re only going after the Senator.”
“Then I will walk away and you’re on your own.”
“Now, wait a minute. Let me talk to the director. He may be open to it.”
After a few minutes, he came back on the line. “Your dad is slippery. An indictment may not stick.”
“That’s all right. A conviction by the court of public opinion will be more than enough to ruin his social standing. That’s all he cares about, anyway. It’ll be enough to get him disgraced as he endures all the media coverage.”
“You sure about this?”
“Absolutely.”
“Then you’ve got a deal.”
“Send over the paperwork.”
“I’ll send it by messenger.”
I knew James Shepard wouldn’t get hard time, but after a lifetime of doing whatever the hell he wanted, my father would be publicly shamed for all the pain he had inflicted.
He had done enough damage for a lifetime.
*****
So, the FBI was involved now.
More importantly, they were ready to take my father down.
“Did you wire the money in my name?” I asked as they set me up in my office.
“The money is in play. Your phone is tapped. All we need you to do is call Senator Blackwood and get him to talk about the bribe.”
“No problem.”
It was easy.
The old guy was so arrogant he willingly incriminated himself. “When you make a contribution to one of my PAC’s, I’d be happy to help you out with your little problem with the historical society,” he told me when I asked him about the permits.
“You mean the bribe?”
He laughed heartily. “That’s the spirit, my boy. Nothin’ like a little bribery to get the wheels of progress movin’ in the right direction.”
I grinned, knowing we had him. “Look at the National Political Action Committee account. I’m all paid up.”
He was gone for a minute and then came back on the line. “I can see it right here. Consider your permits a done deal. You’ll have them bright and early on Monday morning.”
“Thank you, Senator Blackwood. I appreciate it.”
“Thank your daddy. He’s the one looking out for you.”
I literally had to bite my tongue to keep myself from going off on the bastard. “Oh, I sure will,” I said, sugary sweet. “Does my dad do these kinds of deals with you often?”
“You bet, son. Your daddy has supplied me with a lot of business over the years.”
And there it was. A reason to investigate my father.
Indictments were handed down the following week. My father’s picture was plastered all over the newspapers and local news. His face was purple with rage as he fought his way through the media firestorm of reporters hounding him outside the courthouse.
I knew his indictment probably wouldn’t stick, but I experienced a sense of justice seeing him humbled and mortified. It didn’t change anything, but I finally felt like I could let him go. I still didn’t want my dad in my life. He was despicable for what he had done to my family and, at the moment, I hated him for it.
I couldn’t get back the time I’d lost with Marla and Charlie, but I could make sure my son knew his father.
I was done holding back, pretending I could be a part-time dad. I may have missed the first twenty-two years, but I wasn’t going to miss anything else.
I would do right by him.
No matter what.
One mild afternoon after my father had been disgraced, I stopped by Marla’s and found her with Charlie on the back porch drinking lemonade.
“How are my favorite people?” I asked, happy to see them.
“Hey, Shepard. We’re good. Come join us,” Marla said, standing up and giving me a sweet kiss. “You want some lemonade?”
“Sure.”
While she ran back in for the drink, Charlie turned his attention to me. “What’s going on, man?” he asked suspiciously.
“Just wanted to stop by and see you guys.”
“I didn’t think you were the stop-by-kind-of-people.”
“I am now that I have people to stop by and see. But you’re right. There’s another reason I’m here.”
“I’m listening.”
I took a deep breath and held his curious gaze. “Son, you’re mine. My flesh and blood. I may not have been around while you were growing up, but I’m here now and I’m not leaving. We have a lot of things to make up for. But I think we can figure it out. Either way, I’m in all the way.”
His face lit up in a beaming smile. “Wow, that’s awesome. I want that too.”
Relief coursed through my body. “You wanna give your old man a hug?”
“Sure.” He leaned over and I wrapped my arms around him in a tight embrace.
“I love seeing you guys getting along,” Marla gushed from the door as she set down the lemonade and threw her arms around us.
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
Marla:
My life took on its own rhythm with Beau. He was busy, and so was I. But we spent as much time together as we could. Usually, we had a late dinner after work or the various charity functions we attended. Mostly, we tried to have private time, where we made up for all those lost years.
I couldn’t get enough of him. He obviously was an expert in bed after bedding half of Toronto and Baltimore. He showed me things I had never heard of before and introduced me to the delicious world of bondage.
Hot wax.
Handcuffs.
Hot man.
Sign me up, please.
When we weren’t in bed, we were getting to know one another. Some things were the same. He still enjoyed a bowl of shredded wheat. I still liked him to read to me out of the newspaper on Sunday mornings.
In some ways, we picked up where we left off. In other ways, we were miles apart in our thinking. This became very evident one Sunday when Beau surprised me by taking me out to Chesapeake Bay.
His yacht loomed over us, like a bad taste in my mouth I couldn’t get rid of. A sick feeling settled in the pit of my stomach as we approached the dock.
“Why are we here, Beau?”
“I thought we’d take her out for a spin,” he answered without an ounce of concern.
I was instantly annoyed. “I’m not getting on that thing again!”
He shrugged. “Why not? It’s just a yacht.”
“Yeah, where you had your playboy bunnies and all night orgies. Why would you think I would en
joy being on your yacht?”
“I thought we could have a nice day out on the bay.”
“Yeah, in something else. Why don’t we rent a boat?”
“No, I’ve got this beautiful ship with a full crew ready to go. It’s a perfectly good boat.”
“I thought it wasn’t called a boat.”
“Oh, who the fuck cares?” He pointed at the yacht. “That boat cost me fifty million dollars.”
I wasn’t impressed. “I don’t care what it cost. I’m not getting on it, Beau. I don’t like what the yacht stands for or my last memory of it.”
“I named this boat after you!” he justified.
“Sunshine’s Fool? I’m not honored by that, Shepard. I don’t want anything to do with it!”
“Get over yourself!” he snapped at me.
I took a step back. “Why are you so angry?”
“Is this how it’s always going to be? Like this?”
“Like what?”
“Fighting. Yelling at each other.”
“This is fighting? I thought we were communicating our feelings. Maybe you’ve had it too easy all these years, Beau. You’ve been surrounded by people who says yes to all of your demands. I’m not like that. Never have been.”
“Don’t I know it,” he shot off sarcastically.
I took a deep breath. “Look, when we got together, we were both young and stupid, just figuring out who we were becoming. Now we know who we are. The question is can we find compromises we can both live with?”
“Uuh! You make me so mad! I can’t even talk to you right now.”
I stood my ground. “Why not? We have to be able to fight, Beau. If we can’t say what we’re really feeling, this isn’t going to work.”
His blue glance was fiery and unapologetic. “That’s right, maybe this won’t work.”
My heart fell into my toes. “Do you really mean that?”
“I don’t know. I can’t talk to you right now.” He turned, walking away from me.