Jenna looked at Missy and shook her head, “I’m amazed at how well you seem to be taking this. I don’t know if I would be this together.”
Missy gave her a soft smile, “I wasn’t this calm when I first found out. I was mad at the world and God. I blamed him for doing this to me, but when I felt the baby move for the first time, I was reminded of how great a miracle I had growing inside of me. It took a few more reminders, but God finally managed to speak through my grief and remind me He was still in control and I needed to trust Him.”
Was it really that simple? “Still, I’m amazed.” Jenna glanced at the clock and realized that the time had indeed slipped away. Between conversations, they had put a good dent in the food on the table, and the day was almost done. “I probably should get out of here. Trey is waiting to take me to his parent’s house. I’m not ready to spend the night in my father’s house yet.”
Taylor and Stephanie shared a look with Missy, “Trey’s taking you to stay in his parent’s house?”
Jenna nodded, “Yes. He said there was a guestroom that connected to Michelle’s and she would be furious if he let me stay anywhere else.”
The three women shared a look and then Missy spoke up, “Tell you what. Let’s call it a night, but how about we all get together tomorrow for lunch. I’m only scheduled to work the breakfast shift tomorrow. We could take some sandwiches down to the bridge.”
After working out a few more details, it was agreed that they would meet outside the Baxter residence at noon, Missy and Stephanie were in charge of the food, and Taylor was in charge of the transportation. Jenna gave each of the women a hug, proud of herself for initiating the contact. That’s the first time in a long time I’ve hugged someone else.
When Jenna stepped out of the backroom, Trey was lounging against the counter talking with Sheriff Watson and George. He stood up to his full height when he saw her and gave her a thorough once over before asking, “Ready to go?”
Jenna nodded, “Yeah. George, the food was wonderful. Thank you.”
“Don’t mention it hon. And you remember what I told you. Things may seem hard right now, but they’ll get better. I just know they will.”
Jenna smiled at George, “I won’t forget.” Turning to address the other man, she offered, "Sheriff Watson, thank you for what you did for my father. Trey told me you were responsible for getting him into rehab and for that, I am very grateful.”
Sheriff Watson nodded his head, “I only wish I could have helped you both sooner.”
Jenna shook her head, “It’s enough to know that he didn’t die the same bitter, drunken man I last saw. Thank you for that.” I only wish I’d known he’d gotten help and come home sooner.
* * *
Chapter 13
After leaving the Diner, Jenna sat in Trey’s vehicle, exhausted after the emotional day she’d had. She watched the town fade away as Trey headed towards the family home she remembered so fondly.
Trey kept glancing over at her, to make sure she was still doing okay. The day had taken its toll on her and she was beginning to develop dark circle beneath her fragile looking eyes. She needed rest and a break from crying!
As he pulled onto the street leading to his home, he wondered how she was going to react when she realized his parents no longer lived with him. Or was it he who no longer lived with his parents? He shook his head at the silly thought, as it didn’t really matter. The fact was, Jenna was more than likely going to be surprised when she found out he and Michelle were the only permanent occupants of the new house, and he only hoped she wouldn’t feel like he had been trying to take advantage of her.
He pulled the SUV to a stop in the driveway and waited while the electric garage opener did its job. He felt Jenna stir and watched as she sat up straight and took in her surroundings.
“Where are we?” she asked, turning to Trey with a questioning look.
“My home.”
“But, I thought you were talking about your parents’ house,” she told him, looking around at the surrounding houses in greater confusion. “This is the right street, I know it is, but I don’t recognize any of these houses. Trey? What’s going on?”
Trey pulled the vehicle into the garage, turned off the ignition and then depressed the button to close the door, “I promise I’ll explain everything once we’re inside. Come on, you look exhausted.”
He exited the vehicle and came around to open her door for her. Jenna wasn’t sure if she wanted to get out or not. Today had been full of so many surprises, and this last one seemed like a little bit too much! When Trey just stood there by the open door waiting for her to scoot out of the seat, she looked at him and was relieved to see nothing that hadn’t been there before.
Trey knew he was pushing the envelope on what Jenna could be expected to accept, but for some unknown reason, it was important to him that she stay close. He wanted her in his home, where he could watch over her, and where he would be close enough to catch her when she finally let go of the past. After all, I’m the reason she ended up in that shelter in the first place! If I hadn’t allowed Michelle and her friends to convince me there was no other way, Jenna might not have suffered so many injustices over the last six years!
The adult Trey could rationalize that the system, in the form of Sheriff Watson, would have eventually been able to act on her behalf without her having to press charges against her father, but the teenage Trey had acted on pure instinct to help someone who was hurting and much weaker. Jenna hadn’t been able to defend herself back then, and her father had been so much bigger and stronger. Trey had convinced himself over the years that Jenna would have ended up in a casket if he and the others hadn’t stepped in when they did. Maybe that would have been the way things worked out, and maybe not. You can’t undo the past, so stop with the guilt. Now!
He grabbed her suitcase from the vehicle and headed towards the other end of the garage. He opened the door and led the way in through the mudroom. Kicking off his loafers, he advised Jenna to do the same, “You can leave your shoes here.”
Jenna toed off her shoes and then quickly followed Trey who had disappeared into the rest of the house with her suitcase. She tried to take in her surroundings, but she didn’t actually see a lot. She was more focused on following Trey through the large kitchen and not getting lost!
“Through here,” he told here, leading the way into what she assumed was the guest bedroom. He set her suitcase down at the foot of the bed and then opened another door. Jenna could see it led into a bathroom, “The bathroom is through here, and the connecting door leads to Michelle’s bedroom.”
“So, Michelle really does live here?” Jenna asked, taking in the rustic décor, the handmade quilt on the bed, the oversized rustic furniture, and the large throw rugs under the bed and scattered across the hardwood flooring.
“Yes, Michelle and I live here. My parents live in a little house right next to the church. After the avalanche, my dad just didn’t have it in him to rebuild. He and mom decided they were ready for a simpler life and moved to town.”
“Avalanche?” Jenna asked.
“A few years back, we had a ton of snow in the late spring. It was really wet, and really heavy. Before the Forest Service could get up here and clear the ridge above, nature did it herself. The snow came down so fast, no one had any warning. Anyway, the force of the avalanche knocked the houses along this stretch of town off their foundations. It was cheaper to destroy them and rebuild, than it was to fix them.
“Since everyone was at the mercy of the insurance companies, that’s exactly what happened. Everyone else stayed in their homes, but mom and dad decided to leave. I offered to buy the land from them, and worked with the insurance company to build this.” Trey gestured to the house in general.
“It’s lovely,” Jenna offered. Turning to look him in the eye, she questioned, “Why didn’t you tell me this earlier? You knew I thought you were offering me the guest room in your parents’ old house, right?”
> Trey’s smile faded, “I guess I owe you an apology. I didn’t mean to deceive you, but there’s something about you that I didn’t want to let go. After everything you told me on the bridge, and everything you didn’t, I felt responsible and wanted to make sure you were taken care of. I can’t do that if you aren’t close!”
“Trey,” Jenna began, wondering if all men thought this way, or just overprotective older brothers! “You don’t have to take care of me.”
“Jenna, my actions are what started this whole thing. Maybe Sheriff Watson…”
Jenna shook her head and stepped in front of him, laying a single finger on his lips to silence his self-recriminations. When she felt the tingles in her arm, she let her finger drop away, but didn’t move her body back. She softly told him, “Playing the ‘what if’ game gets you nowhere fast! I know, I tried it for years and it doesn’t work.”
Trey placed his hands lightly on her waist, needing to touch her now that she was this close to him, “So, how do you deal with those feelings when they come?”
Jenna felt his hands at her waist and suddenly had the urge to press herself against him for a hug. What is wrong with me! I haven’t had this much contact with other people in years! Ignoring that urge, she whispered back, “You stay strong. You focus on what’s ahead and not what you’ve already left behind. You pray. I pray a lot!”
Trey smiled at her answer, “I’m glad you didn’t lose that!”
Jenna shook her head, “Oh, but I did. For a while. My counselor was very instrumental in helping me find God again. It wasn’t that I’d lost him, I think I just quit listening.”
“You certainly had enough going on I could see how that would happen.”
Jenna shrugged, “I got mired down in my circumstances, instead of trusting that God was in control and all I had to do was follow Him.”
Trey thought back to his own detour during college, “I’ve been there. Different circumstances, but in my case, I made a conscious decision to stop listening. It cost me dearly and I learned my lesson.” His hands tightened on her waist as he looked down into her blue eyes. She was only 5’7” tall, and compared to his 6’3” height, he wasn’t surprised when she had to lean back from him slightly in order to look up and meet his eyes.
“I guess we’ve both learned a thing or two over the years.” Jenna had her head tipped back, and watched as Trey’s eyes searched her face. I wonder what he sees, or what he’s looking for. The intimacy of his look made her nervous and she looked down, ready to step out of his hold, but he stopped her.
“Jenna, don’t. Please?” Trey wasn’t sure what he was asking for exactly, but he liked having her in his arms.
“Trey, I don’t understand.”
“What don’t you understand?” he asked, seeing the emotions in her facial expressions.
“I don’t do the whole physical touching thing. I’ve been hugged more today, in a single day, than I’ve been hugged in six years. And by different people!”
“Feels good, doesn’t it?” Trey asked her in a soft teasing voice.
Before she could stop herself, Jenna nodded, “Yes, but it’s also really confusing.”
“Why? Jenna, before you left town, you were one of the most affectionate people I knew. I used to watch you with Michelle and your other friends. Even as teenagers, you girls were always hugging each other, holding hands or just standing with arms wrapped around each other’s shoulders in support of whatever was happening.”
“That stopped after my mom died. Not right away, but when my father started getting physically abusive, I felt like I needed to hide my bruises, and the touching hurt! I started pulling away to protect myself.”
“I’m so sorry you had to go through that, sweetheart. I truly am,” Trey told her, a wealth of emotion in his voice as he softly looked into her eyes once again. He had the strongest desire to kiss her lips and see if they were as soft as they looked, but Trey was very cautious and held himself back. He wasn’t sure about the emotions Jenna evoked in him, and until he had a chance to sort them out, he wasn’t going to muddy the waters any more.
Dropping his hands from her waist, he stepped back, “I’m going to make some coffee. Want some?”
“No, I can’t stand the stuff.” Jenna shook her head to emphasize her distaste.
“How about some hot chocolate then?”
“Sure. But what are you doing with hot chocolate in your pantry? You hate chocolate if I remember correctly.”
“I do at that. Michelle, if you’ll remember, loves the stuff. She has it stashed all over the house!”
Jenna smiled, remembering the times when she and Michelle would sit in each other’s bedrooms, talking into the wee hours of the morning, eating chocolate in any form! “I remember! It’s a wonder we both didn’t weight three hundred pounds!”
Trey smiled at her, “I’ll go get the water started. Come out when you’re ready.” He turned and headed for the bedroom door.
“Trey?” Jenna called after him. When he looked back at her with a raised brow, she smiled before saying, “Thank you. I know you’re only trying to help me, but I wanted you to know I appreciate it. I’m…”
Trey walked back over and tipped her chin up, hating to see the lost look upon her face, “Jenna, I’m glad you’re here. In my house. In Cathedral Hills.” He let his thumb brush over her jawline, “In my life.” He paused as if he wanted to say more, but then dropped his hand and stepped back, “I’m going to go start the water and not confuse things even more by doing what I want to do.”
Jenna’s heart was racing as she softly inquired, “What is it you’re not going to do?”
Trey stopped in the doorway and then told her, “Kiss you. I’m not going to kiss you. Come out when you’re ready.” He exited the room, closing the door softly behind him.
Jenna stood in the middle of the room for several minutes, raising her fingertips to her lips and wondering what his kiss would have felt like. Jenna didn’t have much experience to go on; the house rules at the facilities she’d stayed at had very specific rules against fraternizing with others – male or female. That didn’t mean kids didn’t figure out ways around the rules, but Jenna had never had the desire to do so. The thought of any one of those boys kissing her made her nauseous.
But thinking about Trey kissing her had her breathing disrupted and butterflies dancing in her stomach. She didn’t find the idea repugnant, and the more she thought about it, the more she found the idea had some merit. Stop that line of thinking! Trey’s right in that you need to figure out what you’re going to do with the rest of your life before you start thinking about romance! Until today, you hadn’t even thought about starting a relationship with anyone. Take things slow and one day at a time.
* * *
Chapter 14
Jenna awoke the next morning and headed out to the kitchen to find a note from Trey saying that he went into the bank for a few hours but would be back around lunchtime. He offered to take her back over to her parents’ home at that time.
Not one to rely on others, Jenna showered and changed into the only other pair of jeans she owned and a light peach t-shirt. Her clothing was serviceable and all obtained from the second hand store. Teresa had given her a hundred dollars before she left town, but Jenna had been loathed to spend the money on something as frivolous as clothing! Saving it in case she needed things like food, instead.
After having a bowl of cereal, she washed and rinsed her dishes and then put her shoes back on. Grabbing a backpack from her suitcase, she tossed in her wallet and headed out of Trey’s house. She and Michelle had walked back and forth to each other’s houses since they were six or seven. It was only five blocks, and as she stepped outside, she was greeted by the sun shining, and a slight breeze.
She meandered towards her parents’ house, taking in the fall colors of the changing leaves and recognizing that winter was indeed on its way. The tallest peaks in the distance were already turning white with snow, and Jenna kn
ew it wouldn’t be long before Cathedral Hills started getting its share.
As she entered her childhood home once again, she smiled at how silly she’d been the day before. Sitting on the porch as if the house were full of vipers! It’s just a house. It can’t hurt you!
She dropped her backpack by the door and then climbed the stairs. Once again, she entered her bedroom and looked around. She opened the closet door and removed several items of clothing, wondering if they would still fit. She tried several things on and was amazed that the shirts fit fine, while the jeans were only slightly too large around the waist. Nothing a belt couldn’t take care of!
She picked out several outfits and then a few extra pairs of shoes and some sleeping attire. She was ever mindful of the fact that her father had never gotten rid of her things. She was also thankful to God for having provided for her needs in such a way.
As she headed back downstairs, she began humming to herself, the joy she found in singing coming back and putting a smile upon her face. A smile that was still there as she entered her father’s office and sat down behind the big oak desk. The surface of the desk was littered with papers, sorted into piles. One pile included envelopes that had been opened, the date received noted on the envelope, and then short messages regarding what needed to be done with the contents scrawled on the back of the envelope.
Jenna looked closer at the handwriting and realized it was Michelle’s! Had she been responsible for taking care of the house and the mail? Why would she have done that? Jenna flipped through the mail and realized the postmarks started about a week after her father’s death.
Michelle had taken over ensuring the house was kept up in her absence. As she flipped through the envelopes, one in particular captured her attention. It was a letter from Michelle, addressed to Teresa. What?!
A New Start Page 12