by Pixie James
Trust me.
We may not get along but I’d never share that with anyone. Ever.
He reaches into his pocket, pulling out a pair of black gloves similar to the ones my representative wore to negotiate my status. Stretching one over his right hand, the Neuris glove still on his left, he bends down to help me up. I stare for a second, hesitant to touch him and worried that I’m going to invade his privacy again.
“Don’t worry. You won’t see anything with these.“
He pulls me to my feet, and his hand lingers on mine. “Is that…is that why you didn’t want me to touch you?”
The muscle of his jaw twitches slightly, and he meets my gaze. “Red House, brown dog, yellow ball.”
I trust you.
His eyes search mine, that familiar sea green churning in the wake of a storm.
For the first time since I’ve met him, there’s no animosity, no attitude. Whatever mask he normally keeps up slips for a tiny second as we silently agree that whatever just happened stays between us no matter what. Friend or foe, I’ll take those memories to my grave.
“It’s not just you, Cherise. No one touches me when my mental blocks aren’t up. My family’s too important. The gloves are made to guard the user’s skin. It’s my fault. I underestimated our… I just didn’t think I needed to expend the energy.”
For a split second, something passes between us—an unnamed, raw emotion I want to reach out and hold forever—and then the loud beep of a phone alarm blares. Ty’Nix drops my hand. “I’ve got to go, and you need to get to class.”
Chapter Thirteen
I can’t concentrate. My skin feels all itchy, and I’m anxious to leave. After what happened in the gym this morning, trying to sit in siphoning class is freaking impossible. It’s like I’m unsettled, unable to hold still, and all I can think about is what I saw—what I felt—when I touched Ty’Nix.
My heart aches for him, which is totally ridiculous because he’s not even nice. We’re not friends, and with how this whole social hierarchy thing works, we probably never will be. But every time I see him, the more familiar he seems, and I can feel myself letting down my guard.
I swear I’m a glutton for punishment. Mix all that boy stuff with the dread I feel about having to go to this stupid party tonight, and I’m close to crawling out of my skin.
I should know, I’ve already done it once.
A loud clap knocks me out of my daze, and I notice I’ve managed to doodle a hole in my notebook and smear black ink all over me. Awesome. Nothing says socially acceptable like a dirty handshake at a formal event.
Professor Te’Eune clasps her hands behind her back and stares at me. “Well? Who’s It going to be?”
My cheeks warm, and I panic. I have no idea what she just said because I’ve been in my own head for the last ten minutes. Another reason I should despise Ty’Nix.
It’s literally my second time in this class and I’m already screwing up. “Um, I—” I force out, trying to come up with something and ignore the chorus of giggles behind me.
Ki’Lin leans back and crosses her arms, brows raised in amusement. “We’re waiting…”
I bite my lip and glare at her, trying not to dig myself any deeper with an already annoyed Professor Te’Eune.
After the crap Ki’Lin pulled in the cafeteria, she’s lucky I don’t claw her face off on sight. Or sick Huey on her. The idea has not escaped me.
“She’s partnering with me.” The sound of Rev’s voice is such a relief I can’t resist the urge to turn around in my seat and smile at him. I’m so out of it I didn’t notice him when I walked in. Was he even in this class yesterday? How did I manage to miss him two days in a row? Am I really that oblivious?
We haven’t talked since we hung out with Tia at the shed, and I’ve been meaning to tell him how much I appreciated the distraction. Now, here he is saving me again. If I didn’t know any better, I’d think he might actually be a decent guy—and an attractive one at that.
Another wave of frustration roils through me, and I groan. If only I could get Ty’Nix out of my head, maybe I’d have room for someone who might actually like me.
Not going to happen, Cherise.
Professor Te’Eune’s long blue braids are twisted elegantly on top of her head, and she sticks her pen inside to scratch an itch. “All right, then. Pair up, each of you. We’re going to practice siphoning the information right off the page. Should be helpful for some of you,” she eyes me, “since listening isn’t on your list of life skills.”
Purple blooms across my cheeks and I drop my gaze, focusing on the modest brown sandals she has under her long flowy white dress. “You’ve spent too much time in the human world. You must do better, Cherise. Especially if you want to complete all your objectives this semester. This skill could be invaluable to you.”
Everyone gets up from their various desks and moves into their assigned groups. Rev leans up against the bar height counter closest to us and beckons me over. His jaw muscles flex as he chews his gum, and he cracks a smile. “Morning, sunshine.”
“Morning.”
“I’d ask how you are, but I can guess. Fantastic, right? Never been better?”
“Peachy.” Sidling up to the slate gray table in front of me, I thumb through the cookbook laid open with a handwritten note scrawled across a Post-it with a page assignment for each of us.
Every station has a different book, so I can only assume this is what I’m supposed to be siphoning, or whatever. Rev looks at me expectantly, perched up on a stool as relaxed as can be. “How am I supposed to do this again?”
He twists his brow ring while looking at his phone. I keep thinking I should get one. But the sad part is, there’s no one to call. And no one to call me.
“You pull from the pages, duh.”
“Oh, well since you’re such a wise guy, go ahead and show me how it’s done.”
He shrugs out of his black leather jacket and unclips the black band around his wrist. Blue or not, I swear the guy could be the front man for a rock band. “Your wish is my command.”
I snort, the words I was about to say coming out in a jumbled, laugh-infused mess, and try my best to suppress all the genie jokes sliding through my mind. Ignoring me, Rev turns to one of the assigned pages and closes his eyes. “All right, read the page. So, when I do my thing, you can tell me if I’m correct or not.”
It only takes a glance to figure out it’s a recipe for Chicken Florentine. “All right, hot shot. I’m good. Go ahead. Wow me with your siphoning skills.”
Rev presses his palm to the page with no hesitation. Five seconds later he pulls it off. “God, I hate mushrooms. But the idea of mixing chicken with spinach isn’t all that unappealing.”
“Cheater, you saw the page.”
He laughs and leans in like he’s telling a secret. “You’re right. I did. I suck at this, but Te’Eune’s staring daggers at the back of your head and it’s distracting.
“Enjoying yourselves?”
I jump at the sound of the professor’s voice, nearly knocking right into Rev’s forehead. Where did she even come from?
I swear she was just across the room.
“So’Rev was just giving me a brief refresher of how to do it. I know we’re supposed to be practicing it in our own time, and I did last night but—”
“But it is your second day in this class, Cherise. Despite my comments earlier, I do not fail to recognize your disadvantage. There is no time like the present to catch up. Go on, let me see your technique. Remember, open your mind, let the energy pull you just like it does with physical memory retrieval but rather than letting it take you on a ride or searching for something in particular, simply let the energy pass through the page and return to you.”
Several of the other students around us stop what they’re doing to gawk at us. I can practically feel Ki’Lin snickering, and it grates on my nerves like no other. Not to mention the bored, almost expectant look on Te’Eune’s face. She expec
ts me to fail, because of course, why wouldn’t I, right?
Fantastic. Awesome. Can’t wait.
Suppressing the urge to glance over my shoulder and survey the social carnage happening at that very moment, I close my eyes and try to concentrate. How freaking ridiculous. Clear your mind, Cherise. Relax, Cherise. Completely ignore the crowd of people waiting for you to make an ass out of yourself. I mean seriously, she can’t possibly think that’s a realistic request, right?
Sighing, I pinch my eyes tighter, fighting the urge to hightail it out of the room. A tiny wisp of energy tingles underneath my palm, and remembering what happened with Ty’Nix earlier, I get pissed all over again. Why did I have super freak strength then, but not now? What is it about that boy that messes me up so bad?
I mean, is it the hair? It could totally be the hair. It is great. Not to mention he smells amazing, and his eyes... Seriously, can I not concentrate for like thirty seconds?
The sound of a tapping foot—likely Professor Te’Eune’s— grounds me, and I refocus. Wispy energy. Got it. Letting my emotional flood gates open wide like I did with Ty’Nix, I try to follow the little wisps, but instead of getting a flash or a picture, I get a whole monsoon of grief. Soul-sucking, gut-wrenching, rip your heart out heartbreak that makes you want to go to sleep and never wake up. It hurts to breathe, to think, God, just make it end…
I stumble back, ripping my hand from the page and pressing it to my aching heart, and as soon as I disconnect, the feeling evaporates and I’m brought back to reality.
And a room of people staring at me like I’m possessed.
As tears drip down my chin, I look around in a panic. Professor Te’Eune’s staring at me, eyes the size of dinner plates, and the rest of the class shares an odd mixture of fear and disgust.
Rev’s the first one to speak. “Cherise, what happened?” His concerned eyes search mine, and I try to respond but wilt under the pressure of everyone staring at me and run.
“ Cherise, wait!” Professor Te’Eune calls out as the door slams behind me. I need air. Everything’s just building up and I feel like I’m going to suffocate. Huey chases after me, hot on my trail, and as I clear the school’s front doors, I find the first bench I see and collapse on it.
The cool air helps to clear my panic, and Huey latches on to my hand. He doesn’t even ask, and this time he doesn’t need to. I’m completely overwhelmed and confused and panicked. What the heck just happened in there? Where did all that come from? Was it residual from what I felt with Ty’Nix or was that something else entirely?
Sitting there with my head between my legs, I wait for the last thirty minutes of class to pass, so I can grab my things without an audience. I’m such a freak. Seriously, I was a weird human, now I’m a weird alien? I mean come on! What’s a girl got to do to be normal? Or heck, just blend in?
Oh, no. The party tonight. How in the world am I going to face all those people after what just happened?
The bell rings, signaling the completion of class, and I sag a little deeper against the bench, flipping up my hoodie in an attempt to stay hidden. I don’t expect to see anyone, but still. I’m mortified. Trying to let my adrenaline calm, I watch the tall evergreens surrounding Nova dance in the breeze and wait until a few stragglers pass.
Professor Te’Eune’s door squeaks when I open it and peek in. The tension in my shoulders relaxes, and I exhale. They’re all gone, and Professor Te’Eune must be on her break or something because I don’t see her either.
In and out, Cherise. You can do this.
My books and bag are right where I left them, and there’s a little doodle on the side of my page with two stick figures hugging. I guess I can thank Rev for that, but apparently, he’s not the only one who felt the need to show his affections, or lack thereof, by leaving me a note.
Written big and bold in bright pink lipstick across the top of my notebook is the word freak.
Lovely. Just what I needed.
“You had no need to run out like that, but I understand why you did,” Professor Te’Eune’s says, keeping her voice low.
Dang it! I’m seriously the worst Xebulin ever. I didn’t even see her sitting at her desk.
She glides toward me, making sure to stay between me and the door like she’s afraid I’ll take off again.
“Yeah, I know. I just don’t know what happened. One second my hand was on the page, and the next…” She won’t understand. There’s really no point in me even finishing the sentence, so I don’t.
“What happened next?”
I shake my head, so exhausted from all the emotions I’ve felt today I don’t have the energy to say the words.
The desk squeaks as she sits down and begins to let out her tightly wound braids. “Would you like to know what I think?” There’s a kindness in her eyes that wasn’t there before, and as she unwinds her strands of blue hair, the lines around her eyes deepen.
“Sure.”
“I don’t think you siphoned the image off the page. I think you siphoned the emotions of the author who wrote it. I know this because it’s my handwriting on those sticky notes. The emotions of printed words cannot be siphoned, but those penned by hand…” She rubs a finger over the tiny paper from the book with our assigned pages and meets my gaze.
“Twenty years ago yesterday, I lost my mate to the war for Erkite. I held him in my arms and with his dying breath he made me swear not to mourn him for a lifetime. To live my life and, even in his absence, find some kind of happiness away from that place.
“Every day since then, I get up, I welcome the sunshine through the window in my room and I come here to educate those who will lead our people into the future. The young who will eventually pave the way for us to have a better life. So that no one else has to suffer as I have. As he did and as so many others have at the hands of our enemies.
“But one day out of the year, I allow myself to grieve and release the pain I have kept hidden for the other three hundred and sixty-four. Yesterday was that day. And when I finally got myself together and off the floor, I wrote those notes for your assignments and crawled into my bed, mourning the love of my life.” Professor Te’Eune rubs the back of her neck and gives me a tired smile.
“I felt your pain. It was like my heart was ripped out of my body and I couldn’t breathe…”
Tears well in her eyes, and in mine. “I am sorry to have exposed you to such violent sadness, but it is nothing short of a miracle that you were able to do what you did. Siphoning emotion is a skill only taught to Xebulani Enforcers tasked with mimicking and infiltrating our enemy. Even then, many do not accomplish what you have after years of instruction. You are a rarity even amongst the elite, Cherise.”
Fear seeps in, replacing the embarrassment from earlier, and my heart begins to pound. “What does that mean for me?”
“I need to speak with Headmaster Ha’Jahn. He will know what to do with this information. For now, it is important you keep this to yourself. I realize after what happened in class, you may have the urge to explain yourself in an effort to lessen the ridicule you may face, but I caution you to resist. The human government is fickle, Cherise, and we toe a very delicate line in our relationship with them.”
“You’re afraid they’ll use it as another reason to exploit me.”
Professor Te’Eune sighs, further letting the residual sadness show on her face. “That is my fear. So far, we have remained within the lines of whatever box they’ve isolated us in and have not surprised them. You have changed that, and this is why you must be protected. May I ask you a question?”
I nod, still too caught up in my thoughts to care either way. I have no idea who I am, or why I’m so different, and every time I think I’ve started to find some semblance of comfort with my situation, life throws something else at me.
“Your hair…is it that length by choice?”
The short strands are still less than two inches, almost long enough to trim the sides. “No, this is how it’s grown. W
hy?”
Her lips flatten into a grim line. “No reason. Just wondering if it’s going to be the latest trend.” She goes back to her desk and opens the drawer, pulling out a pad of paper. “Here’s an excuse for your next class. Tell them I held you after to discuss your additional studies. You cannot afford any marks, or to stand out any more than you already do.”
“No kidding. Pretty sure I’ve destroyed any chance of that.”
“Don’t be so hard on yourself. You’ve proved to be very resilient. Amongst other things. I’ve changed my mind. I will hand deliver the excuse for you. You deserve some time to digest what has happened and I believe you have a party to prepare for, correct? I will send for So’Tia to join you outside in the quad, and you will be excused from the remainder of your studies today.”
“You’d do that?”
“Things in our world here on Earth are rigid and the expectations are high. We give where we can, child, and this is one such occasion. Enjoy the rest of your day. Tomorrow will bring its own new set of challenges. It is important we live every moment like it is our last. Now, go find a dress. And remember, when forced to stand out, you might as well make an entrance.”
Chapter Fourteen
“When you said we were going shopping, I guess I had something else in mind.”
Tia smirks as I gawk at the ornately designed studio apartment seated on the north corner of campus. “You didn’t actually think they’d let us leave Nova, did you? We’re Xebulins, girl. The fashion comes to us.”
“Isn’t that a fancy way of saying the government doesn’t want us to be seen, so they shuttle in clothes when we need them?”
“Pretty much.”
Tia giggles, dancing her way through the entrance and into the first room. I follow after her, still amazed by how posh the space feels. It’s fairly small, no bigger than one of the larger classrooms at my old school, but the walls are lined with crushed red velvet and the ceiling looks like something out of the Sistine Chapel.