I nodded. “I have every confidence in you,” I said. It wasn’t exactly a lie, but it wasn’t the entire truth either. There was no way I’d be sleeping well, or sleeping at all.
John, Margie, Duncan and Holly left us and Alexander and Leiv decided to head upstairs to give us some privacy. After a few moments of silence I said, “Are you worried?”
“Of course. I mean chances are Duncan can beat Angus in a fight, but there will be worries beyond that.”
“About the blood bond sickness?”
“Yes. That’s going to be a serious crisis. I just hope Duncan is mentally strong enough to handle it now. He’s only recently recovered from his own bout with it.”
“What do you mean?”
“These vampires will all be Duncan’s surrogate children. Effectively he’ll be left with perhaps hundreds of vampires who he will have to comfort through their loss. Their minds and thoughts will be like radio waves as they try to make their way back home, and he’ll be their only receptor, and once they get here…”
“Once they get here, what?”
“They’ll be sick. They’ll need to feed off him. He’ll be weak. There’s a good chance we won’t see much of him for a few years. It’s going to consume him. Also, some of them will be angry. He’ll have to watch his back.”
“That all sounds so different than the sickness we’ve seen in Holly.”
“It is. When your maker is also your clan leader it works a little differently. We’ll all feel his loss to some degree. Physically and emotionally.”
“My god, Gavin. He’s taking on a huge burden for us.”
“He loves Ryan, and he loves you. And the longer you live the more you realize living for yourself is not as desirable as living for someone else.”
“Living the way you described doesn’t sound very desirable either.”
“No it doesn’t, but he’s well aware of the consequences.”
“Awareness and reality are two different things.”
“That they are,” he said, pulling me a bit closer. “That they are.”
Chapter Twenty eight
That night passed more slowly than any I’d ever known. After a full day of trying to keep Ryan busy in order to evade his questions on why he had been taken for a drive so early in the morning I was emotionally exhausted. I crawled into bed wanting to sleep and should have willed myself to it, but there were too many worries. I knew depriving myself of rest wouldn’t answer them, but neither would sleep, and so I stayed awake along with Gavin and paced the living room. At about 2 A.M. Gavin decided to take flight. I watched as he flitted behind our little toolshed and emerged on the other side as his winged self. After that I sat on the couch to be alone with my thoughts.
After a few minutes I heard a voice from the stairway. “Mind if I sit down?”
Leiv was standing there alone. “Sure. Alexander asleep?”
“Yeah. I can’t though.”
“I’ve told you how. You’re not having trouble willing yourself are you?”
“No. That’s not it. I just…I feel uneasy for some reason.”
“I’m afraid that’s my fault,” I said as he took a seat next to me. “You’re feeling my emotions. When Gavin is very bothered by something I can feel it too. I’ve learned to shield myself to a degree though. You will too.”
“I hope Duncan is going to be ok Rachel, I really do but…”
“But what?”
“But when you were in the ground I spent a lot of time with Angus. He was very good to me. I really don’t want to see him die.” He turned his face to me in a panic just then, as if he’d said something insulting. “I hope you don’t hate me for that, Rachel.”
“No, of course not. I’m glad to hear Angus was good to you. He’s been good to me as well at times. Nothing for humans is ever black and white is it?” He shook his head ‘no’. “Well you’ll come to find that vampires have an even bigger grey area than humans. Rarely is anything or anyone either solely good or solely bad. You’ll have to judge every vampire and every act they perform based on the circumstances. There’s a lot more room to slip up in this existence you’ve joined.”
“Have you ever slipped up?”
I had to take a deep breath. I knew I’d eventually have to pass on everything I’d learned so far to Leiv, and that would include telling him all my mistakes, but somehow the question was harder to answer than I’d assumed it would be. “Oh, Leiv. I’ve slipped up more times than I’d want to count. Sometimes it was accidental, and sometimes it was just the stupidity of not listening to my better judgement. I’ve had a problem with false pride.”
“False pride?”
“Yes. When I’d done something I was convinced was for the greater good I ran away from the consequences. People got hurt. People died.”
“You’re talking about leaving after you got pregnant with Ryan, aren’t you?”
I was silent for a moment. Perhaps Leiv was more perceptive than I gave him credit for. “Alexander told me,” he said. “You left Gavin after that.”
“I did. It was one of the biggest mistakes I’ve ever made. Leiv, let me tell you something. In times of trouble you are always better off turning to your maker instead of turning away. Even if you’re ashamed to look them in the eye they will still help you no matter what you’ve done, or think you’ve done.”
I looked at Leiv with his dark eyes and soft white skin. Instinctively I reached out and touched his cheek. “I feel a love and a bond with you that’s as great as the one I have for my children. I’m not perfect Leiv, but I promise you this, I will always do my best to help and protect you. I’m your maker and you should always come to me. Directly to me. I’m the one who will protect you most ferociously. Even more so than Alexander. He loves you of course, but he can never love you the way I love you.”
A small tear fell from his eye and down into my hand. “I know,” he said.
We stayed there for a moment looking intently at each other. I realized with everything that had been happening that I hadn’t devoted the proper time to Leiv yet and I promised myself that as soon as this whole crisis was solved that it was going to be my first priority. “Go to sleep now,” I said. “The day after tomorrow I’m going to take you hunting.”
“Really?” He’d been dying to hunt, and truth be told I was feeling the itch too. He needed to learn how to do it safely and in a larger area than Richmond County could provide.
“Absolutely. We’re taking a little road trip to Halifax. I was granted lifetime hunting privileges there and that carries over to all my progeny. So far that’s just you. You need to learn how to stalk the deserving and not the innocents. I’ll teach you. Halifax is just a small city but there’s always cleanup to be done.”
Leiv was so excited he could barely contain himself. He grabbed me and gave me a hearty squeeze before jumping up. “I better get to bed then. Thank you, Rachel. I’m so excited.” Before I could respond he bounded up the stairs like a little kid who’s anxious to get to bed as early as possible on Christmas Eve. I smiled to myself. For the first time I realized that having a progeny could possibly be as fun as having children. Parents get a second childhood when the kids come along, and perhaps I’d get to experience the thrill of the first time hunt again with Leiv. Maybe that was why Angus had created so many others. He had no human children living that I knew of, perhaps the love of being a parent, of any kind, was something some vampires yearned for.
Gavin arrived home once again as the sun was coming up. I strode to the door to greet him and began picking twigs out of his hair. “You’re in a good mood,” he said.
“What?”
“You always hum to yourself when you’re in a good mood.”
“Really? I didn’t realize.”
He laughed. “Sometimes I think I know you better than you know yourself. What’s got you so happy on today of all days? Not that it’s a bad thing.”
“You know, I think I’m beginning to like the idea that I�
�ve got a progeny of my own.”
“Well I hope yours won’t be as much of a pain in the ass as mine.”
I feigned offense and gave him a playful swat. “Hey now. Watch your tone.”
“See? She’s a real bossypants.”
“Good thing you’re cute,” I said. “That’s the only way you’re going to get away with insulting me.”
“My good looks get me out of a lot of things,” he said flexing.
“Alright dreamboat. Put your guns away and go get Ryan up while I make breakfast. It’s a school day.”
Chapter twenty nine
The jovial mood that I’d enjoyed in the morning didn’t last. As the day wore on thoughts of different outcomes to the events of what was to come clouded my mind. By the time I’d finished with dinner I had just about driven myself and everyone else in the house crazy. After dinner I retreated to Jade’s room to have some quiet time with my baby girl. I rocked her to sleep and instead of putting her down I held her against me, continuing with the motion of the rocking chair. The dark haired little girl was sleeping soundly, taking tiny soothing breaths and so the ritual was more for myself than for her.
“Hey,” Gavin whispered as he crouched down in front of us. “It’s almost time.”
I sighed heavily and Jade stirred a little. Gavin gently picked her up and gave her a little kiss atop the head before getting her settled into her crib. “I’m dreading this.”
“I know,” he said as we shut the bedroom door quietly behind us. “Me too.”
“You are? I would have thought you’d be happy to see Angus go.”
“It’s no secret that I have no love for Angus after what he did to me. I think he should have stepped down as clan leader a long time ago. His judgement has been lacking for the last number of years and people know it, but they hate change more than they hate proper order it seems.”
“I would agree with you there, but then again, he has cut us a lot of slack over the years.”
Gavin had to agree. “Yes, he has. But there’s a time for everything, and the time for his rule is over.”
“I wish he didn’t have to die for it to be.”
“He doesn’t. He’s choosing to. He could walk away but he refuses.”
“Do you think he’s so tired of living that perhaps he sees this as an honorable way out?”
“No. I don’t think so. I think it’s pride.”
“False pride you mean. Again,” I said.
“False pride?”
“Leiv and I were just having this discussion last night. I was telling him about all the struggles I’ve had with it. I was trying to spare him from that struggle, but it seems nobody is immune.”
“Some human traits never go away, Rachel. And some, like the one you speak of, can become even more exaggerated.”
After greeting the human babysitter, the gothy teenage daughter of a clan member, we headed out into the backyard to make the familiar trek. We walked slowly and in silence. “Do you think Duncan will be a good leader?” I asked, finally speaking.
“Yes. In fact I think he might usher us into a new era. A new way of doing things. A better one. Like he said yesterday, he didn’t get to be over a thousand years old without learning a few things. I’m actually optimistic that we will be even better off than we are now.”
When we crossed the invisible barrier using our pendants we were immediately greeted by Angus himself. “I’ve been waiting for you,” he said. “I need a word before this gets started.”
Gavin and I exchanged a look of discomfort. Neither of us wanted to speak to him alone, but we couldn’t very well refuse. “Alright,” Gavin said.
Angus led us into his little room. What I saw when he opened the door surprised me. Everything had been packed up and put in neatly labelled boxes. It seemed that even Angus had resigned himself to his own death.
“I didn’t want anyone else to have to deal with my things,” he said motioning to the couch for us to have a seat. “Luckily I haven’t held on to much over the years. Most of my books will go to the sanctuary’s library. The rest, well…” he trailed off as he picked up a silver hand mirror. The kind that would have been used by a lady in times gone by. “The rest of it is just mementos.”
“Angus,” I began, “I wish things could be different.”
“So do I,” he said. “I know if Duncan wins you’ll get your way. You’ll get the freedom and permission to try what you want, but, I want you to seriously reconsider what you’re doing. Think about it.”
The suggestion irritated Gavin. “Angus, we’ve done nothing but think about it.”
“I know you have, but not in any kind of rational way.”
“You don’t know what you’re talking about.” Gavin tried to stand but Angus put his hands up. “Hear me out, please. This will most likely be the last time we ever talk, please don’t walk out on me. I’ll be brief.”
Gavin nodded in acceptance.
“I know the love you have for your child, but if you turn him you may be condemning him. It’s not our job to make our children into what we want. It’s our job to know who our children are and to help them become it.”
Gavin was unmoved. “He’s our child. We can do as we please.”
“Oh I know you can. The question is whether or not you should. You know that, don’t you, Rachel?”
I tensed uncomfortably. I did know it, even if I wasn’t ready to admit it at that point. “I promise you Angus, we’ll take every possible outcome into consideration before doing anything.” He gave me a questioning look that could only be described as doubtful. I changed the subject. “Look, I just want to thank you. If you hadn’t given Gavin permission to turn me that night in the woods I’d still be suffering.”
“God knows you’ve suffered since. I sometimes wonder how much better off you truly are.”
“Oh I am. Trust me. We all suffer, but I was suffering alone. I’m not alone anymore. I have more family than I ever thought possible. None of that would have been thinkable for me as a human. I was too overwhelmed by my illness.”
Emotion moved him and he turned away. “I like to think I’ve done a few good things in my time too.” After a moment he turned to Gavin and said, “Gavin, I hope someday you can forgive me for my shortcomings with respect to Daniel.”
Gavin said nothing in response to that, but did say, “Thank you for your graciousness when I was too overcome with anger to make proper decisions. I know we’ve had our differences, but for that, I’ll always be grateful.” With that he stood and offered his hand. Angus took it and they shook. I stood knowing this was it. The time had come to say goodbye.
Angus bent to me and gave me a gentle kiss on the cheek. “Take care of yourself, Rachel. You’ve proven yourself to be an asset here. I hope that no matter what happens you’ll continue to serve and protect the clan in the way you have from the beginning.”
“I will,” I promised. We embraced one last time and then turned to go. Once out in the corridor alone, Gavin put his arm around my shoulders. “Everything is so uncertain,” I said.
“Uncertainty is the only thing that is always certain,” he said. “But as long as both of us are living and we have each other we will get through everything that’s coming.
Chapter Thirty
All of us were led into the ‘arena’ where the challenge would take place. Far underneath the sanctuary, in the never ending structure, we descended a large number of stairs until coming to a small door. Once there someone gave it a push and when we entered we were standing in a space high above a hard packed earth floor. One level above where we took our seats there were large black columns. The place was like an ancient coliseum, only it was far underground and lit solely by torches.
The tension among the entire clan was profound as everyone took their seats. People greeted one another with formal nods, but left us out. Our entire family was sitting in one section and almost nobody turned to glance at us. The resentment was obvious and I saw John and M
argie exchange a worried look as he took her hand in his. Having been so respected within the clan for so long and now getting the cold shoulder couldn’t have been easy for them. Alexander and Leiv sat alongside them, holding hands as well. I tried to give Leiv a reassuring smile but he lowered his eyes and looked away. I could only guess as to what effect attending this event might have on him. It would probably be the first time he’d witness vampires committing an act of violence on one another. I knew I’d have to help him process it afterward because it sure as hell wouldn’t be the last. Surely he’d have lots of questions.
Holly, however, was the most worried one of all. She left a few empty seats between herself and us seeming to need space and we respected that. She fiddled with her sanctuary pendant anxiously and stared at the floor. Although I could have listened to her thoughts I didn’t need to, her fear was obvious. The possibility of losing someone she loved, no matter how remote, was starting her down for the third time in less than a decade. I wanted to reach out to her, but knew that would be a mistake at that moment. She was worried and agitated and so we let her be alone with her thoughts.
It wasn’t until a few minutes after settling in that I spotted Ellie. She was sitting in a different section and, although she was surrounded by other clan members, it was obvious she was alone. Her face bore a hard expression as she stared down at the fighting space waiting for things to begin. Unlike the rest of us she didn’t seem worried at all, and the fact that she was being silently ostracized didn’t seem to daunt her.
After what seemed like the longest wait in history (although it was probably more like ten minutes) a wrought iron door slid open and a lone figure in a dark, hooded robe solemnly made their way to the center of the arena. He walked slowly, carrying two large silver swords that glinted and shone under the light of the torches. He held them up and the crowd stood, heads bowed. Then he stuck the swords in the ground, one on either side of him, and lowered his hood. Ely raised his hands above his head and the crowd seated themselves once again as he began to speak.
The Vampires of Soldiers Cove: Progeny Page 16