by M. C. Cerny
“I’ll take that as a raincheck.” Chase backed out of the room and I turned to call him back. I needed to explain. This was…well, I didn’t know what it was, but I knew it required damage control of some kind.
“Let it go, Kiara. Chase is a big boy.” David tugged me back, but I wasn’t having it.
“Speak for yourself.” I pushed away and moved to get out of the hot tub on my own before I remembered I was missing a key part of myself.
A hot flash of anger came over me. “Can you just…leave?” I avoided looking at David and heard his huff of frustration before he pushed away from the tub and stalked out. I was fine, but I wasn’t fine. I’d gotten in and out of this tub probably hundreds of times over the years. My issue was David seeing me as less than whole despite my well rounded okay-ness. It was stupid. Irrational. But I didn’t want to have to justify myself or my feelings when I’d barely begun to own them.
By the time I’d maneuvered out of the water and on to the bench wrapped in a towel, I knew he was long gone.
13
David
“Damn.” I growled stomping out to my truck. I hadn’t even gotten a chance to discuss my PT with Roy because Kiara had distracted me from the moment I saw her walk in today. She was my kryptonite. It didn’t help that our mutual friend Chase was giving me the overprotective side-eye I didn’t need. Heck, we had more history than he did with Kiara unless I had completely misread the situation.
It’s not like they ever dated.
It was fine.
And yet, I still felt these unexplainable rage like feelings that maybe he knew her better than I did. He didn’t, but that didn’t mean logic was ruling my lizard brain.
Overthinking got me into trouble.
I practiced the breathing technique the VA therapist helped me come up with when I left the service. I envisioned my chill place as Dr. Cantor called it. The place where I was calm and one with the world. I stood at the edge of the cliff and felt the wind take me on a ride over the tree tops and mountain ridges. My chill place was home, it had always been home. Sometimes, I saw Sky Top, the lake at Saranac. Other times it was hiking Mount Marcy, Whitface, Grey, or Colden. Now, these were place I wanted to explore Kiara if she’d let me.
I wasn’t about to let a setback like Chase finding out about us impede our budding relationship. I’d text him or call or him later to clear things up. We were adults and Kiara would have to get used to people seeing us together at some point. I was more than willing to respect her boundaries at school, but during our free time, I didn’t want to have to hide my feelings for her like a juvenile secret.
I got into my truck and drove back to the pub and my apartment. Maybe I needed a nap, or a shower, or a good wank in the shower followed by a nap. I definitely needed something especially after fingering Kiara in the hot tub like a teenager trying to be caught. The look on her face was priceless. I didn’t appreciate her need to go after Chase like she needed to diffuse something. There was nothing to diffuse. I liked her. She liked me, or so I thought. The world could get over it. I’d seen enough real life horrors that protecting Chase’s sensibilities just didn’t ring for me on my list of priorities.
But…Burrito Barn tacos did sound good. I could go for a run later to burn off the calories of queso and guacamole. Turning the truck around I drove to the hole in the wall eatery that employed a good number of rotating college students and prepared to order my weight in steak tacos.
“Fancy meeting you here.” I turned back to see Chase Calloway the relentless pain in my ass standing right behind me.
“You run after me or something?”
“Or something.” He snarked raising a smarmy dark blond eyebrow at me.
“Say it, Chase.” My hands ran over my head brushing the short cut to give me something to do besides grab my old football buddy and strangle him.
He put his hands on his hips and cocked his head to the side as if to run down all the things he wanted to say to me, but instead went with, “Kiara is cool.”
Oh, I guess we were going to have one of those heart to heart conversations then. I was on the same page, but still, our relationship or lack of one had nothing to do with him.
“Look, if this is one of those don’t hurt her or I’ll hurt you conversations, save it. We’re not anything right now which isn’t for my lack of trying.”
Chase chuckled grabbing my shoulder and shook me lightly.
“So maybe it’s Kiara I need to have this conversation with, huh?”
I grunted. “Yeah, maybe.” If he could get her to see reason, stop being skittish or avoidant it would be great. Chase was the guy who basically diffused every bad situation on the football field. If he hadn’t been injured, it would have made him a star and a team captain on a professional team. He was a good friend and maybe I assumed things I shouldn’t which made me feel bad. The kind of bad that had me hearing my mother whisper over my shoulder to play nice with the other kids. I was going to have to work on that, another thing I could bring up with my VA therapist next time I saw Dr. Cantor. I swore that woman didn’t have to look hard for things to work on to fix me. At this rate, I’d end up helping fund her kids college education by keeping her busy.
“Let me give you the Kiara 101.” Chase and I took our taco orders to a table and sat down.
“She’s been through a lot. I get it.” I shoved a taco in my mouth enjoying the burst of flavors on my tongue. Nothing better than mountain air, fresh cilantro, sour cream, pico de gallo, and meat.
“Yeah, but that’s the thing. Kiara makes you think she’s good, but deep down, I think she’s still that scared little girl waiting for bad news or a disappointment.”
“Because of the cancer?” I shoved another taco in my mouth giving Chase the opportunity to speak more on this mystery.
“It’s more than that. Kiara’s family lives across the river in Poughkeepsie. They’re tight. I’ve been to a few family dinners. Apparently the guy she dated before, high school sweetheart and whatnot dumped her after the cancer diagnosis.”
“What the fuck?” I spat part of the taco out covering my mouth. Who would dump this feisty, smart, sexy woman? An damn idiot that’s who.
Chase held his hands up and took a drink of his lime soda.
“True Story. Word of advice, when you meet her family for dinner, Momma Roberts is intense. She loves her kids and she will eat you alive if she thinks you might hurt her girl.”
“Thanks, I guess. Though I don’t see us meeting the parents anytime soon.”
Chase smiled. “Oh you will.”
“How can you be so sure?”
“Because it all starts out as friends and before you know it, you’re meeting them under some benign pretense of a family BBQ.”
“Please tell I’m not wrong. You guys didn’t date, ever, right?” Because right now, I’m not sure how I feel about all of this.” I waved my hand around and sipped my own soda.
“No, we did not. Never saw each other that way. We met in PT and one time my mom was late picking me up after rehab. Dad was coaching and could care less now that his star player was benched for life. Anyway, Momma Roberts showed up to get Kiara and invited me to dinner. I think she might have been trying to set us up, but it wasn’t working for Kiara and I.”
“Nice.” I joked.
“She has three Aunts who own a restaurant and basically try to outdo each other cooking. I think I gained twenty pounds that night. They kept filling my plate and it was so good you couldn’t say no.”
“I’ll keep that in mind if she ever tells me more than a publicly recorded fact about herself.”
“You have to understand, she spent her junior and senior year in the spotlight as an Olympic hopeful only to have her dreams taken away when she got sick. It was an incredibly public thing, you were already in boot camp and gone.”
“I don’t recall anything in the local news and back then my mom was telling me everything including the church gossip.”
�
��All I’m saying is tread lightly and I think you’ll be alright. She’s the kind of girl that deserves all the romantic gestures, but only if you mean them. No bullshit, buddy.” Chase grumbled seriously.
“I thought you had a girlfriend.” I said.
“I do. Love her to bits, but Winnie can’t cook, and I’ll probably starve. I accept that truth. My girl gets an A for effort, plus she can feed me in other ways.”
“Gross, man.” I tossed a few shreds of lettuce at him and he swatted them away chuckling.
“I meant intellectually, you pervert.” Chase threw lettuce back at me and it was good to spend time with my friend even if we reverted to being idiot adolescents.
“Sure you did.”
We had a good laugh over that and he shared her latest exploits in the kitchen. I don’t think he lets her cook for fear she’ll burn his house down, and I don’t think homeowner’s insurance covers overzealous girlfriends with waffle makers. So it’s probably in everyone’s best interest they have an intellectual relationship, whatever the fuck that means.
He rapped his knuckles on the table making his point. “So my advice is to keep at it. Let her realize you’re not going anywhere and you’re not going to dump her for a stupid reason.”
“My mission has been to get this girl on a date. A real date. Dinner, conversation, and see where it goes. If she’d give me the time of day before freaking out about something and shutting down that would be nice too, but I can be patient.”
“Invite her to Easton’s, it’s neutral territory, public, and safe.”
I think on this remarking, “Pedro did make her a signature drink.”
Chase nodded.
“Let her see how you are with Remi and your brother. Nothing says decent human being then by letting her judge you on how you treat others.”
“What do you know about Remington.” I didn’t like that Chase was asking about her. Heck, I didn’t want anyone asking about her. Remington Kennedy was the little sister Andy and I never had and I felt protective about her. If I asked Andy he’d probably tell me to drop it, but I’m sure he hired her without checking her background or anything. He had a softer spot for damsels in distress than I did, but the sweet girl grew on me like wild moss and I wasn’t about to let anyone mess with her.
Chase held his hand up.
“I only know what I’ve heard which is that she’s a sweet kid in a rough place and you two have given her a job and a home. She works hard and goes to school. Winnie also hangs out with her sometimes.”
“Right.” My voice was gruffer than usual as I thought about the incident that week. I was out, but Andy had to call the cops to take care of an asshole who thought he could have grabby hands with the barmaids, particularly Remington. Thank god Evan was on duty, although, I was pretty sure that guy was going to get another talking to from me sooner or later the way his eyes mooned over her. Girl was like a honey pot on a summer day and had no idea the effect she had on men. Trouble should have been her middle name with her southern accent, bright carrot top hair and tiny little body. So of course my bleeding heart brother hired her and business boomed instantly since she started slinging beers.
“Look, I’m not here how to tell you how to handle your business. Kiara is a great person, and I’ve known you forever. You guys would be good together so don’t screw it up.”
“Easier said than done, Calloway.”
“So while I have you here, I need to ask a technical question.” And just like that Chase knew how to pivot the conversation to safer topics like computers and software programing I could write in my sleep. Kiara might have had issues with people letting her down, well she wasn’t the only one, and I leaned toward technology to keep me sane. I was willing to try opening up to her, if she was willing to let me.
“If you need me to check out your network and make some upgrades that easy enough to do. I have evenings free after football practice, but weekend mid-mornings might work better.” I didn’t press the coaching issue because Chase’s dad was still the head coach, and that was a bitter subject for him.
“Alright, let’s plan that. I’ll get Winnie out of the house so she doesn’t try to play matchmaker or make appetizers in the oven again.”
“It’s cute you pretend to not like it.” I said taunting him a little.
“A man has to have some boundaries. Just you wait. Oh, and you didn’t hear this from me, but the girls like to attend yoga class regularly on Wednesday nights.” Chase grinned and popped up out of his seat to leave me with my remaining tacos.
What did guys wear to a yoga class?
I texted my brother to find out.
14
Kiara
Today was raining and crappy by anyone’s standards matching my current mood. Turbulent might have been a better description given the swirling emotions and wondering if I was going to see a certain ex-soldier again.
Most of the athletic practices this week were indoors. We alternated between the pool and the gym and I didn’t see David at all. He had been called over to the middle school to take a look at their network and only returned to teach his programming classes. I wanted to talk him after I had cooled down but between that and my acupuncture appointment for my phantom pains life continued to get crazy.
So when I needed a reset like this, I called my sister to meet me for yoga. Luckily Kelsey was off after working a double shift and her fiancé had a surgical conference in Chicago. We needed sister time and maybe a late dinner after the evening class.
Inside the studio, I shook out my jacket and yoga mat covered in heavy droplets of icy fall rain. The chill induced shivers and I knew a hot shower later would be perfect. For now, I stretched warming up and working out sore muscles. I was able to do many of the yoga poses and depending on my mood, I would take off my leg to do other adapted poses to improve my strength and core muscles.
“I’m so glad you called me for yoga. I need this.” Kelsey rolled out her mat and adjusted it in front of the mirror coming next to me. My sister looked tired and I couldn’t imagine how she managed to do it all. She worked some kind of magic mojo working her residency, dating, and living an actual life.
“Well, I missed you and we didn’t get to chat much at dinner after your big announcement.” I laid down on my mat and Kelsey helped me stretch my hips and pressed back on my legs that helped me work out a sore spot.
“I regret not calling you first. Promise me if you get engaged, you’ll tell me before we break the news. The Aunts have basically catered the whole thing, and now I have to explain to them that Thad is a vegan.”
“I do not envy that conversation. You know they think fried chicken is its own food group.” Our Aunts ran their own restaurant for as long as we could remember. At some point, all of us kids worked there busing or waiting tables. It was good money, but we still had clothes where we couldn’t get the smell of grease and ketchup out. They were bossy ladies and even our mom who was the only married one of the siblings couldn’t get them to stand down without a family intervention.
“Sure on my thighs. I’m going to have to start going to hot yoga to sweat off all these extra calories.” We laughed together and I would miss this one on one time with Kelsey when she married. I had a feeling Thad’s conference in Chicago was more than just a conference but I’d wait for Kelsey to clean about it.
“So do we have a color theme for the wedding?”
“Not yet, it depends on if I have to add Thad’s cousins to the lineup. Nothing is going to be simple because half the girls will look good in red or lilac and the other half will look bad or complain about strapless gowns.” My poor sister was going to have her hands full with that one.
“Again, not envying this situation.” I said.
“Hey, Kia. You’ve got company in the back.” Kelsey nudged me. I peeked in the mirror and saw David rolling out a bright blue yoga mat awkwardly on the floor. What the hell was he doing here? I hoped he wasn’t trying to ogle the other women in here be
cause one legged or not I would kick his ever loving ass.
“Psst. Aren’t you going to say hello?” She encouraged me and flashed her two carat ring under my nose clearly hinting at something.
“No. I’m not going back there and stop being a brat.” I hissed.
I settled into my mat and did my stretches aided by some grip blocks and my more athletic suited prosthetic which was more about function then fashion and light weight compared to the one I typically wore during the day. I had been attending the class long enough that no one asked me about it anymore and I felt comfortable, or at least as comfortable as you could feel with David Easton eyeballing my butt from behind.
I figured if he was going to give me a look over I could look right back and damn any consequences. Our oldest class member and regular at the studio, Mrs. Easterly, a salty woman in her late eighties was chatting him through the moves. At one point, she moved over and showed him the correct position for downward dog.
“That’s adorable. Have you seen your man’s ass.” Kelsey continued to chat up David’s physical attributes and I did my best to ignore her. I wanted to feel badly for David when I was sure Mrs. Easterly cupped him inappropriately, but I couldn’t, because I was trying to hold back my howl of laughter at his shocked face. His cheeks, neck, and ears sported a blotchy red hue.
I worked through my adaptive poses focusing on clearing the bad energy around me. I listened to our teacher chant asanas and I relaxed into the zone. My ex would have never come to a class like this, but it was also asking a lot of an immature seventeen-year-old boy. David wobbled a few times, but he actually did pretty good until we got to tree pose.
It was hard to focus on my own practice feeling somewhat self-conscious, but David ignored me and eased into the moves on his own. I admired his tenacity and his tight face looked more relaxed by the end of the ninety minutes. Sweat dripped off my body and I used my towel to wipe off my skin feeling refreshed.