Independent Jenny

by Sarah Louise Smith

  So, reluctantly, I called Wentworth, went to my bedroom door and called good night one more time without looking back.

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  The next morning I opened my eyes and wondered where I was for a moment. Ah, the bed in the cottage. I was still in Skye and … oh, and there was someone else in the bed with me.

  I turned slowly and saw Fern there, sleeping peacefully, looking adorable. I felt something move and looked down to see Wentworth also on the bed with us, lying across my feet. Fern lifted her head, wagged her tail, and moved up closer to me. I wrapped my arms around her and she licked my hand.

  Then I remembered. Will was in Hayley’s room.

  I looked up at the ceiling and felt myself light up, remembering the fun we’d had together last night.

  Frick on a stick, I wanted him. In only a few days, we had somehow connected. That harmless infatuation I’d had as a teenager had faded and come back to smack me in the face. Except now it wasn’t so harmless but in fact pretty dangerous. I wanted to tell him how I felt but didn’t know how on earth to go about it, and would that really be fair to everyone involved? And what if he didn’t feel the same way? Yet, the way he looked at me … The kind words he’d said about our time together before … Surely he did.

  I got up and took the dogs out for their morning comfort break in my pyjamas, then took a shower. When I came out, with a towel wrapped around me, Will was coming out of the other bedroom. Oh wow, he was even more gorgeous than I’d remembered from the night before. He had a t-shirt and boxers on, his hair was a mess … and all I wanted to do was drag him back into his bedroom.

  “Hey,” he said, looking as embarrassed as I felt. I held the towel a little tighter.

  “Good morning.”

  “Dehydrated?”

  “A bit.”

  “I’ll get us a drink.”

  “Thanks.”

  “Do you fancy going for a drive today, seeing as the weather isn’t going to be so good? I’ll take you on a tour of the island, show you some nice spots to take photos?”

  “I’d love to. I’m not sure what Hayley’s plans are.”

  “More time with Guy I expect.”

  “Yes,” I said, trying to hide my disapproval. We got ready, downed some orange juice, then drove over to Guy’s place to check in. They were up and making breakfast, no signs of them being anything more than friends.

  “So are you guys off out again today?” Guy asked as we cleaned up. Hayley had gone off to change into some fresh clothes I’d bought along for her.

  “I thought I’d take Jenny on a bit of a tour.”

  “Hayley said she’ll help me here again. She did well yesterday, once she got over her fear of getting her fingernails dirty.”

  I laughed. “I’ll just go and tell her goodbye.”

  I went upstairs and found her coming out of the bathroom. She pulled me into Guy’s room.

  “Don’t tell me you didn’t sleep with him because I won’t believe you,” I said, looking at her blush with shame.

  “I know it’s awful and I hate being a cheater, but I love him Jenny. It’s like losing a limb and getting it back again.”

  “What? You don’t even know him anymore.”

  It seemed pretty hypocritical of me to accuse her like that; I felt I knew Will pretty well after the last few days.

  “I do, Jenny. He’s just the same as before.”

  “So what are you going to do about Kieran and going home?”

  “I’m going to talk to Guy, tell him I love him, tell him everything, and say if he wants me here, I’ll stay.”

  “Seriously Hayley? On the farm?”

  “I love it here. I know that sounds hard to believe, but I do.”

  “And what about Kieran?”

  “Kieran’s a great man, but he’s not the one for me. I hate to hurt him, but I can’t help how I feel.”

  “Oh Hayley. He doesn’t deserve this.”

  “He’s a big boy, he’ll move on.”

  I sighed. “And what about your job, you can’t just quit?”

  “I haven’t figured all that stuff out yet.”

  We debated for a while longer before Guy called up and asked if we were ever coming down.

  “I need to get back to work ladies.”

  “Just a second!” Hayley called. She asked for details and I told her the truth about me and Will; that we were just friends. I neglected to mention that I’d like to be much more. Her behaviour didn’t warm me to her right now, and although I was quite happy to be with Will, she was still abandoning me on what was supposed to be our holiday together to spend time with her lover and cheat on her fiancé.

  She could tell I wasn’t impressed but continued getting ready. I went down to find Will waiting for me in his Audi with the dogs already in the back.

  Chapter Twenty-Seven

  Will’s tour around Skye was amazing. We drove all over, talking and laughing. A highlight for me was Kilt Rock, where I took photographs of the cliffs and a waterfall which fell 170m from the cliff into the sea. The sun came out for a few moments and I was quite pleased with my shots.

  “You’ve captured it really well,” Will told me, putting his arm around me as he guided me away and to another viewing point. It felt nice to be part of a twosome again, even if it was only platonic – and temporary.

  “My photos are only good because of the amazing scenery you’re showing me,” I told him.

  A coach full of tourists turned up and we moved out of the way to let them look at the waterfall. I asked one of them to take a photo of us together with Fern and Wentworth sitting at our feet.

  Then we drove for miles, over hills, through valleys, past lochs. I kept asking Will to pull over so I could take more photos and we snacked on crisps and sweets, and talked about the old days, and the days between then and now.

  As we drove on, it started to rain. I told him about my mother’s last couple of husbands and he told me about his father dying. I told him about some of the more interesting weddings I’d photographed, and he shared anecdotes about the animals he treated, and their owners. It was easy to be with him, and I kept thinking about what it might be like to kiss the older, more mature version. Would the man’s kiss be much different to the boy’s?

  Yet, he was just behaving like my friend. A few times I caught him looking at me, and he’d been quite affectionate, putting an arm around me here and there, but no more than the way Shane treated me. Friends, that was all. I was both disappointed and relieved at the same time. I didn’t want to be the other woman to his Mandy … but it didn’t stop me daydreaming about it, either.

  Eventually, we came to Elgol – a beautiful little village on the shore of Loch Scavaig, with a view of the Cuillins opposite, a few fishing boats and the odd cottage scattered here and there. The rain was decreasing and the sun came out, casting a rainbow. I grabbed my camera. As the rainbow faded and the rain eased off, we went and sat on a blanket on the rocks while our dogs ran in and out of the water.

  “I love it here. I’m officially declaring this as my favourite spot on Skye,” I told Will.

  “It’s quite something, isn’t it?”

  “Beautiful! And so quiet. So remote.”

  “You like remoteness?”

  “I like being far away from crowds of people. Does that make me antisocial?”

  “Not at all. I like the peace and quiet myself. But it can get a bit much, sometimes. You’d probably miss the city if you lived here.”

  “Maybe.”

  I’ll miss Will, when I leave, I realised. The thought of leaving left me with an ache and pain that I couldn’t describe. How come I managed to deal reasonably well with our parting back when we’d been boyfriend and girlfriend for over a year, but now after just a few days as friends I couldn’t cope with it?

  I’d miss this comfortable feeling around him, as well as the nervous flutters I felt every time he looked at me or touched me. If only I didn’t have to return to Bath th
e day after tomorrow and face reality.

  I shivered.

  “Chilly?”

  I nodded my reply.

  “Lean against me,” he offered and I did, and he put his arm around me and he had no idea how comfortable it was or how I longed to be able to ask him if he’d hold me like that every day. Ugh. Stupid Skye and stupid Hayley for dragging me here.

  “What do you want to do tomorrow?”

  “Can we come back here?”

  “Of course.”

  “Maybe bring a picnic, just sit and talk and read?”

  “Sounds perfect.”

  I relaxed back into his arms and started wondering if I should suggest that we both just quit our jobs and move to Elgol. I wasn’t sure how we’d earn enough money to get by. I really must start buying those lottery tickets, I thought.

  “Hey, I think I know that guy over there,” Will said, getting up. A man was pulling up in a fishing boat. “You mind staying here with the dogs while I go say hello?”

  “Of course not.”

  I watched him walk off, admiring his rather cute and firm behind. If only life could be as simple as it’d been the past two days. No work to do, hanging out on this beautiful island with a man I both found attractive and enjoyed being with, with no expectations, no chores … just relaxing, walking, reading, drinking wine, talking, laughing … I sighed as my phone beeped, bringing me back to the reality of my life back home.

  I hadn’t looked at my phone all day and found I had several text messages. I read and replied to each:

  Ross: How are you babe? I’m missing you. You’re home Saturday, right? Can’t wait to see you. Love you x

  Me: Yes, home Saturday. Please don’t be there when I get home, I’d like a little time to get unpacked without you hounding me. I’ll call you when I’m ready.

  Shane: Hey, how are you? What’s happening? No decision as yet on Maidstone. I need to hear about your drama, drama, drama!

  Me: Hayley’s shagging the farmer and I’ve got a huge crush on a man who’s not interested and married – I’m having a great time but don’t want to come home, except to see you of course. Enough drama for you? x

  Aiden:Hi Jenny. How’s it going? I’ve been thinking about you a lot. But still no pressure. Love, Aiden x

  Me (after taking a deep breath … the thought of his kiss still gave me the warm and fuzzies but I hadn’t thought about him much in the past few days): I’m having a lovely time, thank you. Hope you’re having a good week. Maybe we can get together and talk on Sunday? Jenny x

  I had no idea what I’d say to either Ross or Aiden when I got back, but I still had a few days and a long car journey to figure that out. I’d kind of come to the conclusion that I needed to find somewhere to live, and maybe after a few weeks, if we felt like it, Aiden could take me on a date and we’d see how that goes. Maybe it’d be worth giving it a shot, I didn’t really know.

  But right now, I didn’t want to think about all of that, only about the lovely Will who was still chatting to his friend.

  My main concern while I was still here was Hayley, and what she was going to do, and how she was going to go about it. Kieran was such a lovely guy, and I remembered now with a jolt of surprise that I’d been jealous of Hayley when she’d first met him. He was good looking, sweet, and so kind and generous towards her. Much more so than Ross had ever been with me, and certainly for quite some time.

  She’d seemed so loved-up, and he’d wined and dined her, then asked her to move in, and then proposed less than a month ago. I thought of him at home alone, wondering why she’d not been in touch, completely unaware that the woman he thought would become his wife was cheating on him and about to break his heart. She was just as bad as Ross, and I didn’t like her too much right now. I’d always loved her fickle, spontaneous side, but this time she’d gone too far.

  Will was headed back towards me with a big smile on his face, and the two lovely dogs ran towards him as he whistled at them. It was like we were this temporary little family unit, and I realised I could get used to the sight of the three of them walking towards me like this. I could quite happily see this every day.

  Chapter Twenty-Eight

  “I’ve got a question for you,” Will said as he sat back down beside me.

  “Okay.” I studied his handsome face, which looked kind of serious.

  “Why do you think Ross cheated on you?”

  “Huh. I don’t know. At first I was so angry with him, feeling he was the one in the wrong, but now I think maybe I had a part to play in all this, too. I mean, we’ve been growing apart for a long time. I think I took him for granted, and didn’t really appreciate him. I guess he looked for that affection elsewhere.”

  “And, I know we said we wouldn’t dwell on it, but how are you feeling about him now? Will you forgive him?”

  “A few times I’ve considered that I could forgive him, and that I still love him. But mostly, I think I’ll never be able to trust him and it’s definitely over.”

  He leaned back against the rocks and, after hesitating for a moment, I leaned on him again.

  “Do you miss Mandy?”

  “Honestly?”

  “Of course.”

  “Not as much as I should. What does that tell you?”

  I didn’t answer. I was biased when it came to talking about his wife and whether they should be together, so it seemed a little unfair to give my opinion. But, for the record, my opinion was that he should end his marriage and run away with me and live happily ever after.

  If only.

  We were silent for a few moments.

  “You okay?” I asked. I looked up at him, he looked down at me and our noses were so close I could just reach up ever so slightly and kiss him. But I didn’t. I looked away again, back out to the shore where the dogs were playing.

  “Yes. I’m fine. Just thinking. This is nice.” He squeezed my shoulder as he said the nice part.

  “Yep.”

  Silence again. I wish I knew what he was thinking.

  “You’ve been a good friend to me these past few days, thank you,” he said.

  Friends again. Stupid friendship wasn’t what I wanted.

  “Ditto,” was all I could muster as a reply.

  “What do you think will happen with Hayley and Guy?”

  “I was just thinking about that. I’m not sure. I can’t see her moving up here.”

  “I don’t see him moving down there.”

  “She told me she loves him.”

  “He says the same.”

  “They hardly know each other anymore.”

  “I don’t know about that. I mean, they’ve changed of course, but they are still the same people in essence. Same with you. I mean, you’re different, but you’re still the same girl I loved when I was seventeen.”

  Huh. He loved me. He’d never told me. And I was still the same girl he loved? Surely that meant…

  “Look at those two,” he said, shifting his position and changing the subject. “They’re so funny.”

  Fern and Wentworth were playing in the water, splashing about, chasing each other.

  “They’re having a holiday romance.”

  Hayley and Guy didn’t check in, so we just continued to leave them to it. We picked up some wine and ready-made pizzas on our way back and had them at the cottage. I didn’t suggest that Will stayed in Hayley’s room again, but he must have assumed that’d be okay. Which it was, of course.

  We had more fun, more laughter and giggles, and we fell asleep on the sofa together watching an old film on TV. I woke up after a few hours when Wentworth licked my hand. I was leaning on Will, and he had his arm around me. We were acting like a happy couple, just without the sexual side of things. I didn’t want to go home.

  I took the dogs outside and thought about Hayley again. This was serious, and I was going to have to stage an intervention at this rate. She had to face up to her responsibilities and deal with Kieran. I called her a few times but she didn’t
answer. Eventually, I went back to the sofa and cuddled up next to Will and slept a calm, happy sleep.

  Chapter Twenty-Nine

  Friday. My last full day on the Isle of Skye. Will and I went back to Elgol in the morning and I realised that I had found what I was looking for from this holiday; I was getting over Ross and knew now for sure that I didn’t want to continue with our marriage. Will had been my rebound in a way and I was glad. Rebounding with Aiden would’ve been a disaster and now I could go back and know that he wasn’t a rebound; that was if anything more ever happened between us.

  We went for a walk with the dogs, then back to the rocks we’d sat on the day before, to eat the lunch I’d prepared that morning: mostly cold left-over chilli con carne and a fruit salad. He was being sweet, funny and affectionate, touching my arm and leaning against me as we ate but I wasn’t sure if I was reading the signs of friendship and kindness as him feeling as much as I did, and I wasn’t about to ask. The thought of him returning home and getting into bed with Mandy proved painful and I tried not to think about it.

  “Thank you for a lovely week,” I told him as he started eating the fruit.

  “No, thank you,” he said, smiling. “I’m so glad you were here. It’s been great catching up.”

  I nodded and ate, unsure what to say next. For the first time all week, I felt uncomfortable.

  “You’ve got a bit of juice,” he said, looking at my chin. He used his thumb to mop it up and his touch made my skin tingle.

  “Thanks,” I said, feeling my cheeks flush.

  “So…”

  “So..?”

  “We should keep in touch this time,” he said it slowly, carefully, without looking at me. He watched the dogs as he continued. “I mean, email, telephone calls. Don’t you think?”

  “Yes, definitely.”

  He pulled his phone out. “Put all your details in there, then.”

  I put my fruit down and took the phone, entered my phone number and email address, then handed it back. He didn’t say anything and I couldn’t speak. I wasn’t ready to say goodbye yet.