“Andrew accused me of putting you before him,” Shane admitted. Oh dear, had he been chatting to Ross? He seemed to think the same thing.
“That’s crazy.”
“I told him I feel a bit responsible for you, that’s why.”
I looked at him and saw the concern on his face. He was still playing with his beard.
“I’m sorry for what I said when I was in Skye, it was pretty selfish of me. If you want to go, you should go.”
“I know you wouldn’t cause a big fuss, but I don’t feel I can just up and leave you.”
“You don’t?”
I was both pleased and saddened at the thought. Shane had his own life to lead, and I shouldn’t be the one getting in the way of it.
“Well, yeah, of course. You’re vulnerable right now. You’ve lost Ross, and Hayley, you haven’t got any family nearby. You’ve only really got me.”
Huh. When he put it like that … I really, really didn’t want him to move.
“You can’t stay here for me, Shane,” I said, feeling rather special that I was one of the reasons he wanted to. “I do have other friends, you know.”
I should really call my other friends, remind them who I am.
“I know.”
“Of course I’d miss you but I’d cope, I really would. I know I was talking rubbish about the whole ‘new me’ stuff this morning but I mean it; I’m going to be an independent woman. Sure, I’m scared, sure I need my friends around me, but we can still talk every day.”
“I know. I’d miss your face though.”
I smiled and leaned my head on his shoulder.
“You have to decide what’s right for you and Andrew.”
“Putting you to one side for a moment—”
“Gee, thanks,” I nudged him in the ribs.
“You know what I mean. What would I do in Maidstone?”
“Couldn’t you open a cafe there?”
“It took me a while to get established here.”
“Yeah, well…”
“I don’t know if he’ll go without me. I can’t ask him to stay, but I know I don’t want to go.”
“I’m sorry I don’t have any good advice.”
“Just listening to me was nice. I’d better get back.”
“Thanks for my lunch.”
After he left, I went to see if Hayley had replied. Nope.
On our first night in Skye, I’d said how much I loved it there and she grumbled about the remoteness, about the lack of shops and restaurants and life in general. How ironic then that I was the one back home in Bath, and she was one who was living there. Living there with Guy. Will’s brother.
Had he replied to my email yet? No.
Back to work.
Damn, it was so boring being back in reality.
Aiden. Think about Aiden, I told myself. He’s here. He’s the reality. He’s ready to treat you well. Talk of the devil, and he rings.
“Hi?” I answered, glad for another distraction.
“Hi. So who did you sleep with while you were away and were you actually planning to tell me?”
Chapter Thirty-Seven
Of course, Ross had told him.
“Firstly, I didn’t sleep with anyone. I did spend time with a friend, and we kissed. Just once. I’m so sorry I didn’t mention it. I was planning to, it’s only that I didn’t want to ruin anything with us. It was just a fling, a moment really, just a rebound type-thing with my old high school boyfriend.”
If only that were true so that I could stop thinking about him and checking my emails. Still no reply.
“Right, okay, so am I just another fling rebound type-thing?”
“No! I hardly know him. Can I come over to talk?”
“Yeah, okay.”
“Are you home?”
“Yes, just got in from an after-work drink with Ross. Honestly, when he told me you’d slept with someone else I am sure he almost worked it out about us. I must have looked really shocked.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Come round and we can talk.”
“I’ll be there in half an hour.”
“Okay, see you soon.”
I hated the pain I heard in his voice and wished I’d mentioned it myself. I couldn’t quite bring myself to regret spending time with Will; it’d been a wonderful few days and I honestly think it helped me to move on. I said all this to Shane on the phone as I explained I wouldn’t be home for dinner.
“You’re such a slag, snogging two men in one week while you’re still married to a third.”
“Thanks for the support, bestie.”
He laughed. “You’ve done nothing wrong. Talk it out and he’ll be fine.”
I wasn’t so sure but I walked up to Aiden’s house and rehearsed what I’d say over and over in my head. When he opened his front door, he looked so sad that my heart sank. Wentworth pushed passed him and ran into the house.
“Come in,” he said, and I followed him into the kitchen.
“Listen,” I said, as he poured out two glasses of white wine. He didn’t ask if I wanted one but alcohol did seem like a good idea. “I think I needed to have a fling. Get it out of my system. I was so young when I met Ross, it’s been a long time since I was able to just flirt with someone and have some fun. And I didn’t want to rebound on you, so in a way, I’ve rebounded on someone else and now I’m free and more stable and secure to consider a new relationship.”
Aiden watched me talking with a straight face, giving nothing way. Then he sighed.
“I get all that, I really do.”
“Good.”
“It’s just that, I kissed you and told you I loved you. You go away for a week, flirt with someone else, then tell me you want to start up with me. It seems a bit odd, don’t you think?”
“I guess, when you put it like that.”
“I’m just concerned that you don’t want to be alone. And I make you feel good because you know I love you.”
“I know I’m messed up Aiden, and yes I admit I don’t know how I feel about anything right now, but can we just see how this turns out? Are your feelings for me strong enough to run the risk with me?”
“You know they are.”
“Right then.”
He smiled, but he still seemed sad. The doorbell rang and he got up to answer it. I sipped my wine and wondered where we’d go from here. Had I messed this up before it’d begun? I thought about our time together, about how he made me feel, and I hoped not.
Then, to my horror, I heard familiar voices.
“Mum! Dad! What a surprise!” Aiden was saying in the hallway.
Holy crap. They were not the sort of parents to drop in unannounced; in fact they’d never done that in the whole time I’d known them. Surely my being here would arouse suspicion. I got up and wondered if I could squeeze through a window, or if I should hide in the back garden. Could I get to the back door before they saw me? It was unlikely. I sat down again, trying to look nonchalant but probably looking like a rabbit in the headlights.
“We have just been to see your brother, so thought we’d pop in before we head out of town.” This came from Stella, my soon to be ex-mother-in-law.
“Oh yeah? How come?”
“He hadn’t been answering the phone so we went round to find out what was going on.”
“Ah, I see. Let me take your coat for you.”
“Horrible business, isn’t it?” said Michael, Aiden and Ross’ father.
“Yeah, I know, Dad.”
Realising they’d just seen Ross and knew we were no longer together made me panic all over again. I stood up, realising there was still no escape and sat down again, splashing a drop of my wine on the carpet.
“Oh, Jenny dear, what’re you doing here?” Stella asked, looking surprised and not all that pleased to see me, which hurt. I’d always been fond of his parents, despite avoiding them recently.
“She just came for a chat, that’s all,” Aiden said, smiling at me. “I’ll put the
kettle on.”
Stella looked at my glass of wine and then back up at my face, and was about to speak when Wentworth got up to greet her.
“Oh hello Wentworth, aren’t you lovely?” she said, rubbing his head.
Michael, my father-in-law, came in and greeted me with an affectionate hug. They both sat down and an awkward silence descended. I decided there was no beating around the bush.
“So, Ross told you?” I asked.
“Yes. I can’t believe it. I thought you two were so happy,” Stella said, smiling sadly.
“That’s not true,” Michael said, elbowing her. “Be honest.”
Stella shifted uncomfortably in her seat. “Well, I did mention a few times I thought you two seemed a bit … distant from each other. I have been worrying.”
“Well,” I said, feeling highly uncomfortable, “I guess we had a good few years but sometimes these things don’t work out.”
“Did he tell you everything?” Aiden asked as he bought in the drinks.
“What do you mean?”
“He cheated on her.”
Stella’s jaw dropped open. “No, Ross wouldn’t ever do that.”
So he hadn’t told them everything, then. I wasn’t sure I wanted to watch Stella and Michael discover that their golden boy wasn’t so perfect after all, but Aiden had said it now so there was no taking it back.
“It’s true Mum.”
Michael gave a shake of the head. “He was very upset. Said Jenny didn’t love him anymore.”
I rolled my eyes. Ross had turned out to be quite the liar recently.
“I’m sorry dear,” Stella said, “I don’t know what to say.”
“It’s okay,” I told them. “It was awful when I found out, but I’m alright now, really I am. And Aiden has been such a good friend to me.”
Stella’s eyes shot to Aiden and then back to me again. Oh dear. I’d made her suspicious already.
“Well, you two have always been good friends,” Stella said with a smile that didn’t seem genuine. “I hope you’ll keep in touch with us all, Jenny. You’re still family and we’re all here for you to see you through this heartbreak.”
“Thank you, that means a lot.”
“Maybe you could work things out if you tried some counselling, you know like Relate or something?”
“I think it’s too late for that, Mum.” Aiden opened a packet of biscuits and we each took one. I hadn’t eaten much and was grateful for the sugar. The anxiety plus empty stomach combo was making me feel a bit lightheaded.
“Is there something here I should know about?” she said, her finger pointing to Aiden and I, sitting together on the sofa, desperately trying not to be touching in anyway.
“What? I don’t know what you mean?” asked Aiden, trying to sound honest but if anything giving away his guilt.
“Oh for goodness’ sake, Aiden. How long have you two been having an affair?” Her voice got louder as she spoke and for the first time since I’d known her, she looked angry. Michael looked on in shock.
“What makes you think that?”
“The way you’re behaving. I always knew you had a thing for Jenny but Aiden, she’s your brother’s wife!”
I looked down at the carpet.
“You’re imagining things, Mum.”
I took a deep breath. “No, you’re right, Stella. There is something going on, but it didn’t happen until after I found out about Ross. And I never cheated on him.”
Their mouths hanging open, Stella and Michael looked from me to Aiden and back again. Aiden put his hand over mine.
“It’s true. And I don’t have a thing for her, I love her. Very much. And I’ll treat her better than Ross ever did.”
There it was, the L word again, and although it made my ego inflate every time, I wasn’t ready for it. I wasn’t ready for any of this and wished I’d kept my mouth shut. Ross would know now, and it’d make for a messy, awkward time whenever I saw him. And I didn’t even know for sure if Aiden and I would work out, in which case this upset would all be for nothing.
“I don’t know what you think you’re doing,” Stella said, raising her voice. I looked up from the carpet and realised she was talking to me.
“What do you mean?”
“I understand you’re angry and hurt, but getting revenge on Ross by taking up with his brother is not the answer. You’re taking advantage of Aiden, and you’re just going to hurt them both even more.”
“I’m not taking advantage!” I said, getting annoyed. Was it really her business?
“You know he loves you. You know it’ll hurt Ross. I don’t see how you can just transfer your feelings from one brother to the other.”
“It’s not like that!”
“Poor Ross, he’s going to be so hurt!”
“Poor Ross, Mum?” Aiden jumped up off the sofa. “Poor Ross? He cheated on Jenny repeatedly. Several times. Over and over!”
“Well, we all make mistakes. He doesn’t deserve to be betrayed by his brother.”
“I think I ought to go,” I said, making for the door.
“Stop!” Michael bellowed.
Usually a quiet man who avoided confrontation, we all froze and looked at him.
“Number one,” he said, much calmer now we were all looking at him. “Aiden loves Jenny. Anyone can see that. Why shouldn’t he try and make a go of it with her when Ross screwed up?”
“Thanks Dad,” Aiden said, smiling at me.
“Number two. I’m afraid my dear that as Ross screwed up, it’s none of his business who Jenny goes out with now.”
“Thank you,” I said quietly.
“Okay, maybe I was a bit harsh. I’m sorry, I’m just trying to process all this,” Stella said, smiling at me sadly.
“And number three,” Michael said finally, standing up and getting his coat. “I’m sure you two have a lot to talk about so I think we should be going.”
Aiden saw them out, but not before asking his parents not to tell Ross or the rest of the family about us yet, insisting it was in Ross’s best interest not to shake everything up right now. After a very uncomfortable goodbye, they left and Aiden turned to face me in his narrow hallway. I leant against one wall and he leant against the other, looking at me.
“You still think this is a good idea?” I asked.
“Yes. Do you?”
“It’s not my family that are pissed off.”
“They’ll get over it.”
“I guess so.”
“This isn’t how I wanted this evening to go. Before Ross told me about your adventures on Skye, I was going to ask you to come round and I’d cook you dinner. I thought it’d be our first date.”
I smiled. “It’s not too late.”
Chapter Thirty-Eight
So, I chatted merrily away about my boring day and he told me about his, and we acted like a normal couple for a while. He prepared some salad which we sat and ate with a drop or several more of wine. I felt relaxed and comfortable. It was nice.
After eating, we sat on the sofa for a bit and tried out a bit more of that kissing. He really was a very nice kisser.
“You know you said you wanted to take this slow?”
“Yes?” I said, sitting back and wondering where this could be going.
“Well, I know this is going to sound crazy, and I really understand if you say no, but I was wondering if you wanted to consider living here?”
“What?”
How was that taking it slow?
“You could start off in the spare room, if you wanted. But you need a place to live, right? And I’d like having you around. Ross would just think I was renting a room to you. I don’t know, I just think it’d be nice.”
Was he joking? His face looked serious so I guessed not.
“Aiden, are you sure about this? I mean, is it best to start a relationship by living together?”
“Who cares about rules or what’s best?”
“I do need somewhere to live.”
&nbs
p; And I wouldn’t have to worry about spider removal, or light bulbs. We’d share the cleaning and he’d probably take out the rubbish. I hated taking out the rubbish, which was another thing the man in the relationship should always do.
He wouldn’t cheat on me. I’d just fall back into the domestic bliss I had before, but this time with a man who loved me, who didn’t leave socks lying around. At least, I didn’t think he would.
“Think about it.”
He leaned in and kissed me, and I let him, dropping all the confusing and conflicting thoughts from my mind. He pushed me slowly backwards on the sofa until he was on top of me and I wrapped my arms around his neck. I was going to let this happen. Suddenly I wanted him really badly. All that pent up sexual frustration from last week took over and I started pulling his shirt over his head.
Before I knew it, he was running his lips over my nipples and I, desperate to feel him enter me, started tugging at his jeans. He lifted up for a moment and took his jeans off while giving me his sweetest, sexiest smile. Then he pushed into me. The feeling was exquisite. All the hurt and rejection seemed to flood away as I let the physical feelings overpower the emotional ones. He was gentle at first, but then got faster and harder, demonstrating a stamina his brother had never had. Oh my god, it’d never been as intense with Ross, ever. Aiden made my earth shatter, and then held me for a while as we stared at each other with big, stupid grins.
Two hours later, as Wentworth and I walked home, I felt weird. The sex had been great; he was as attentive and gentle as his kisses were. It felt good. I felt good.
But I didn’t think I was in love with him, not yet anyway. I liked him a lot. I loved the way he made me feel. Was that enough to move in with him? It seemed crazy, but then, his house was a lot nicer than the flats I’d been looking at. And he had a garden for Wentworth. And if it didn’t work out, I could rent a flat then, couldn’t I?
I suddenly yearned to be back on Skye, at Elgol, leaning against Will and not worrying about any of this.
Chapter Thirty-Nine
I didn’t have much time to think the next day. I photographed a large family group: four generations of relatives, the eldest being almost one hundred and the youngest just a month old. Getting all fifteen people to look at the camera and smile together was proving difficult and I was going to have to rely on Photoshop to get the perfect photo.
Independent Jenny Page 17