by Mara White
Chapter 46
Ryan
Ryan had been working per diem at various nursing homes, sports centers and a couple of outpatient medical facilities as he’d signed with an agency that sent in PTs and OTs on a substitute or temporary basis. The job was great, it had been a great tool in helping him come to navigate San Francisco and all the surrounding environs like a pro. Whereas during the first few months he relied on a GPS and sometimes Jackie’s crazy directions, he now knew the city and burbs like a native or as well as his crazy, driver’s ed teaching fiancé.
He saw the job come up on the hospital’s HR site and got an inbox notification. He’d told Jackie that he applied but not that he’d already done his first interview or how well it’d gone. The job at UCSF was a dream job and exactly the professional setting he was hoping for, a top tier hospital with great funding and research. He’d gotten the call just as he was leaving one of his least favorite nursing homes. Ryan loved his clients, but the place was depressing as all get out.
“We’ve sent you the package to the address you provided, Mr. Walters. The start date is in there, along with the benefits package and your hospital handbook. You will have to go through the general hospital orientation and the next one, if you’re able, starts on Monday.”
It was Friday night. Ryan accepted that day over the phone. The salary was more than he and Jackie made combined at the moment. His instinct was to immediately pick up the phone and dial Jack, to share the great news with her. But Ryan wanted to make the announcement special for both of them. He stopped at her favorite Thai place and picked up some dinner. She gave an orgasmic expression every time she tasted their coconut squash curry, so Ryan got a double order. Then he stopped at the wine store and let the girl who worked there pick out something expensive to match it.
Jackie was working late, so Ryan ran the dog around the block and went to work like a madman.
When she arrived home, Jackie could tell something was up right away. The lights were low and there was some soft music playing in the living room.
“Ry?” she called and Digby came running.
She put her things down and kneeled to give her mutt a back scratch. He whined, wagged his tail and almost knocked her over with his butt.
“What’s daddy up to, huh?” she asked the dog, as she scratched behind his ears.
She wandered into the dining room to find the table spread with her favorite food and two pillar candles burning in their holders. Ryan nearly jumped when he walked in holding the bottle of wine and two glasses by the stems.
“Holy buckets, babe! Did you make all of this?” Jackie asked him playfully.
“I did,” Ryan smiled. “Not make any of it. But your favorite Thai joint did.” He poured her a glass of wine and she wandered over to the table where Ryan had fanned out brochures of universities within the UC system.
“What’s all this, hon?”
“I got the job at the hospital,” he blurted out.
“No, you did not!” Jackie squealed. She ran to him and embraced him in a tight squeeze, her eyes glassy with tears. Ryan told her the salary and Jackie’s eyes widened and they smiled at one another deliriously.
“What are the brochures for?” she asked him.
“Sit down and we’ll talk about it.”
Ryan made sure to get a few O faces out of her with the curry first. He reminded Jackie about the small inheritance he’d gotten from his paternal grandmother, Gloria.
“It’s not a lot. I mean relatively speaking. If we were in Des Moines, we could buy a house but in San Francisco I think we could maybe rent a flower pot.” Jackie smiled at him and looked a little confused.
“I’m happy in our flower pot.”
“I am, too. Regardless, I think we should use it to make an investment in us. I know you love your job at Bucks and how important driving safety is to you.” Ryan took a deep breath. It was sometimes hard to predict Jackie’s reaction to things, especially those of an emotional nature. She was just as likely to become hard as she was to go all soft like a ripe peach.
“If you want to, I’d like us to invest that money into you. You could go back to school, choose a program that inspires you. Get your degree and study whatever you’re interested in—really whatever you want to. You could do public health and concentrate on public safety maybe intern for a program that deals with teens and driving—something that really matters to you. I know the driving school is your passion and I think what you do is wonderful—already,”
God, did he sound like an asshole? Was this all coming out the wrong way? He didn’t want Jackie to change or to better herself for his own selfish reasons. He wanted her to reach her full potential because he loved her so much. She was worth that and everything. He couldn’t read her face, especially by candlelight. The idea that this could come off sounding grossly pigheaded certainly occurred to him.
“But if you want to take it further and get a degree behind what you do and what you believe in, I, what I’m saying is, I’d love for you to be able to go back to school and finish, Jacks and I want to pay for it.” He spit the last line out like it was on fire and doused it with a rather large sip of wine.
Jackie nodded, folded her hands under her chin and looked pensive. She took another bite of her curry and Ryan could swear that he saw a tiny smile flash across her lips.
“What do you think?” he asked nervously. He was fiddling with the hem of the tablecloth. He suddenly threw both hands up in the air in surrender. “Or maybe I’m a complete asshole and that was a jerk thing to say. I wish it had come out better.” Ryan shook his head and looked down in his lap.
“I think, Sport,” Jackie said slowly. “It’s something I would like to think about and maybe consider.” Ryan nodded in understanding. Of course, it wasn’t a yes-no thing she could answer over dinner. “Wait, I’m not finished,” she interrupted his thoughts. “I think that might be the most romantic gesture that you, that anyone, has ever pulled off over dinner.”
Ryan’s defeated eyes looked up into hers with surprise.
“Seriously?”
“Mmmhmm. I do.” Ryan grabbed Jackie’s hand and squeezed it as his heart rate returned to a normal pace.
Ryan knew that romance wasn’t always about candles and wine, sexy underwear and seduction. Romance could also be investing in the person you loved, sacrificing so that they could reach their full potential. Watching your lover grow and change in front of you was intoxicating and sexy as fuck. He adored the progress Jacks had made with herself emotionally; it turned him on more than anything to watch her blossom in front of him.
The other piece of the future that he wanted to secure, was God forbid anything ever happened to him, Ryan wanted Jackie to be self-sufficient, to be able to provide for herself and not struggle with a low paying job like she had now that took up all of her time and gave her practically nothing in return.
Jackie tipped up the end of her wine glass and drank the last sip.
“Anything else you wanted to tell me?”
“That you’re beautiful and you have a dot of curry on your nose.”
Jackie laughed and brushed it off.
“And I want to taste this wine from your mouth and your bellybutton—” Jackie leaned over and cut off his words with an open mouthed kiss.
Chapter 47
Jackie
Ryan’s lips on hers were feather soft. He was gearing up for more than just a single kiss. “Four months and you’re Mrs. Ryan Walters.”
Jackie grinned at him and nibbled his shoulder. “I could just be that now, you know.”
“I like the idea of the tradition of it.” She moved away and picked up her phone.
“I know you do and I want whatever will make you happy, Sport.” Jackie picked up her keys from the counter.
“Don’t forget dog food.” Jackie laughed as Ryan reminded her a third time to pick up dog food. He kissed her forehead. She swatted his rear on her way to the door.
She slun
g her purse over her shoulder as the door clicked shut behind her. It had been a whirlwind few months. She had been talking with Rose almost daily, planning out all things wedding related. She was so happy. For the first time in her life, she was content. At peace daily. She felt loved and she wanted to give love back. Rose had just picked out her Maid of Honor dress and texted a picture of Lola’s flower girl dress. She loved that everyone was coming back to see them get married. It would be small and intimate in the park where Ryan proposed. Jackie couldn’t contain her smile as she got in her car.
The best part, she thought, of their proposal story, was that Ryan had purchased a new couch. It had been her birthday present. The second she’d seen it when they got home that night, she’d dragged Ryan to it and made love to him. Jackie put the car in drive and drove the three blocks to the grocery store.
Here they were about to make good on a pact they’d forged so many years ago in a parking lot halfway across the country. A promise Ryan made in a desperate attempt to hold on and one she agreed to in a last ditch effort to let go. Ryan’s doting love had saved her from herself and Jackie couldn’t wait to see all of the amazing adventures life had in store for them.
As she plopped dog food next to the pint of ice cream in her cart, her phone rang. She yanked it from her back pocket. Rose.
“Hello?” She pinched the phone between her shoulder and ear while pushing the cart up and down the aisles.
A shrieking noise blared into her ear. “Rose?”
“He proposed!” Jackie was sure she was doing some sort of happy dance and wished she could witness it.
“He did? When?”
“He mothereffing did,” she screamed. Jackie laughed and stopped mid-way down the cereal aisle.
“Congratulations. It’s about damn time.”
“There’s more,” Rose breathed.
“There is?”
“He asked by serving me with adoption papers for Lola.”
“Shut up, Rose.”
“I will not. I won’t. He’s more romantic than your Ryan.”
Jackie laughed again. Her heart felt ready to burst. “Will he come to the wedding, too, then?”
“Oh, honey, he was coming anyway but now, hell yes. I need to show him off more.”
“And the ring?” Jackie asked.
“It’s three carats. I die. I’m dead. It’s three carats, Jackie! Do you know how crazy that looks on my finger?” Jackie giggled. Rose was so exuberant, it never failed to warm Jackie up from the inside out. Her best friend was the most cheerful and wonderful friend someone could have.
“Listen, I want all the deets on the proposal but I’m at the grocery store. Can I call you back in fifteen?”
“You better.” Another squeal sounded.
“Oh, you know it. I can’t wait to hear all about it. And Rose,”
“Yeah?”
“I am so happy for you.”
Rose sighed into her ear. “Love you.”
“Ditto,” Jackie answered then hung up.
She tucked her phone into her back pocket and grabbed the remaining things she needed quickly. She wanted to know exactly how Rose was proposed to. In the checkout line she swore under her breath. She had the world’s slowest cashier. The woman felt it necessary to comment on each item she scanned.
“Oh, never tried this. Any good?”
Jackie bit her bottom lip and nodded. If she could have rolled her eyes without being rude, she would have. She looped all the grocery bags on her arms and trudged to the car.
She was a block from home. It had been longer than fifteen minutes and Rose was not a patient woman. Her cell phone rang. One handed, she fished it from her purse at a red light. Rose. Jackie snorted. She hit decline. Rose could wait like five more minutes. A car honked behind her. She looked up. The light was green. Jackie stepped on the gas. Her phone beeped. She looked. A text from Ryan.
The impact took Jackie by surprise. Glass shattered. She screamed as her door crumpled in on her. Pain shot through her limbs. The car went upward. Her neck made a sickening cracking sound. Everything looked upside down as her head cracked against the frame of the driver’s side window. Stars danced in her vision and the car still slowly moved. Something trickled on her face. Jackie felt hot and tired. She couldn’t breathe. She couldn’t move. Her phone rang. And rang. And rang. He was the love. He was the great thing. Jackie closed her eyes. He was everything the palm reader predicted he’d be. She smiled despite the pain.
Ryan.
Ryan.
Ryan.
Chapter 48
Ryan
Ryan was with a client when he got the phone call.
“That’s right, Ms. Austin, just step up and then step down. Alternate feet and you’re going to hold the dumbbells at your sides for the first set and then after you do fifteen or so, we’ll get your arms involved.”
“Mr. Walters, I’m not sure if I can balance that well yet.”
Ms. Austin was at least seventy five, and she’d never exercised in her life. She’d had a hip replacement after a fall in her living room. Hazard of a small, barky dog and thankfully not a stroke. Ryan had read in her profile that she still lived independently and Ms. Austin expressed in their first session that her two daughters had made clear their intention to put her into assisted living.
“You can do whatever you put your mind to Ms. Austin,” he said. She took a wobbly step up and Ryan steadied her with his hand on her bicep and the other shadowing her waist.
“Well, I know that’s a saying, but I don’t feel very confident. You can call me Hannah, dear.”
She took another tentative step, this time on her own. She’d worn quite the getup for physical therapy, purple sweat pants and a purple turtleneck with a turquoise sweatshirt to top it off.
“You can call me Ryan. It’s a saying because if you believe it, it works. I know you said you were never exactly sporty, but what type of stuff did you like to do as a girl? Ice skate? Ride horseback? Did you ride a bike?”
Hannah smiled and got a dreamy look in her eyes.
“I did do those things, Mr. Ryan and I played field hockey, too.” She looked self-satisfied and took the next step with her chin up. The confidence lifted her pace, so he didn’t even have to tell her pick it up.
“I can tell already we’re going to get you back into shape quickly. If you want it badly enough, we might be able to get you beyond where you were physically when you had the fall, Hannah. Hip replacements can work miracles, believe me, I’ve seen it before. Not only that, but muscles have memory and they like to be told what to do.”
He felt his phone vibrate in the back pocket of his scrubs. He put his hand to it automatically, but then thought better of it. He was still kinda new at the outpatient PT program at the hospital. It was probably just Scotty calling to talk about the game. Besides, it wasn’t just good employee protocol, he wanted his patients to feel like they mattered to him, know that they had his undivided attention for the hour.
He stayed until 5:30, writing up his reports. It wasn’t unusual for him to get home after Jackie but he kept an eye on the clock. Ryan logged out of the system and grabbed his coat. He glanced at his phone and saw it was Jackie who had called. She left a message so he put the phone to his ear to listen. She must have butt dialed him because all he could hear was what sounded like shouting voices in the distance.
With his coat over his shoulder, he walked out through the new atrium entrance where the California setting sunlight poured in like the Gods had just opened up heaven.
He stopped short in his tracks when he recognized Jenny from the driving school. She was standing by herself, sobbing into her cell phone.
“How awful,” he thought as he started a slow jog over to where she was. Something must have happened to someone in her family. He was glad he could be there to offer her some comfort.
“Ryan!” she screamed as she saw him approaching. She dropped her cell phone to the ground and rushed into his arms.
/>
“Shit, somebody died,” was the realization that hit him. He thought about how Jackie must have felt when she got the terrible news about her sisters.
“Ryan, we didn’t have your number!” Jenny wailed, as she smashed into his torso.
Why would Jenny need his number? He nearly went over with the impact of the hug. Then sheer panic tore the breath right out of his body.
Chapter 49
Ryan
When Ryan was seven, the family cat got hit by a car. Trixie was really his mother Diane’s cat, but the boys secretly called the lazy tabby, Tiger, and they liked to watch her stalk birds in the back yard. She slept on Ryan’s bed and as a child he’d put his hand on her back while she curled up in a tight ball. Tiger had a silent purr but Ryan could feel the vibration of it run through his hand and up his arm. He felt like they were friends and that Tiger secretly liked him better than all the other kids.
The year Trixie died was the same year that the boys were allowed to walk to and from school alone. Redcliff Elementary was five blocks from their home. Scotty was the youngest, still in first grade, but Andres was a robust and responsible sixth grader and he led the pack, chewing toast in the morning and skipping stones at 3:10 in the afternoon. There was only one moderately busy street, the last or first depending on which way they were going, but Redcliff had a trusty crossing guard posted and the rest of the journey was a straight shot home.
Ryan wasn’t far into second grade, the air was just starting to turn cold and most of the leaves had fallen, leaving the trees bare, like rows of skinny sticks waving at the sky. He was lagging behind his brothers struggling to free his Spiderman lunch box from his backpack, when he accidentally missed the light. Andres, Carlos and Scotty were nearly a block ahead when he spotted a motionless lump of tiger fur halfway down Redcliff road. Once Ryan crossed the street, he jogged down to investigate. Sure enough it was a dead tabby cat; young Ryan grabbed a stick and turned her still soft body over. What he saw made him start and he dropped the stick at once. The bared, pencil sharp teeth, the mean looking eyes made him gasp and swallow hard.