‘It’s a lot for you to deal with, but it’s the most fantastic news. Where’s Mark? He must be thrilled.’
‘He’s the same as me, just taking it one day at a time. But we’re together and we’re happy so we’ve got a lot to be grateful for, whatever happens.’ A car tooted noisily outside, ‘That will be Mark, we couldn’t get a parking space nearer. Look, I won’t be coming back to the Women’s and Children’s with this one. Obviously, if there’s a problem I’ll have no choice, but we kind of wanted to go somewhere else this time—not that you weren’t all fantastic,’ Janine added hastily.
‘I understand. I’d feel exactly the same.’
‘I know you won’t want to give out your address so I won’t ask, but can I drop you a line at the hospital and let you know how things go?’
‘Don’t be silly. Here.’ Lucinda scribbled her home address on a piece of paper and handed it to Janine. ‘Give me yours. It will be nice to keep in touch.’
The car tooted again and Janine wrote quickly.
‘Good luck,’ Lucinda called as Janine went out to her husband.
‘Miss Chambers.’ This time there was no mistaking the summons.
Straightening her shoulders, Lucinda turned and smiled.
‘Just coming,’ she said, and, following the receptionist, made her way down to the ultrasound room, wondering what fate held for her.
Mr Field was, as promised, a lovely doctor, chatty but professional. He introduced himself and asked a few questions.
‘Well, I won’t keep you in suspense. We’ll go over everything thoroughly in your first antenatal appointment. Let’s find out, shall we?’
He helped her onto the examination couch and placed the blanket over her as Lucinda lifted her gown. He squirted cold jelly onto her abdomen and Lucinda lay there, rigid.
‘Do you want to see the screen?’
Lucinda thought for a moment. ‘Not yet.’
He placed the probe on her abdomen and pushed against her full bladder. Lucinda listened to the familiar crackling as the machine zoned in. And then she heard it, loud and regular, her baby’s heartbeat.
‘Well, there’s definitely one in there,’ Mr Field stated. ‘I’ll do the measurements in a minute.’ He moved the probe slightly and in just a few seconds Lucinda heard the same rapid sound. ‘And there’s number two.’
She lay there for a moment as the news sank in. Somehow hearing the heartbeats made it all seem a bit better—it was a sound she heard every day. But these were her own babies’ heartbeats she was hearing, and it really was like music to her ears. She thought of Janine who had lain here before her, desperate for a child. Though this wasn’t what she herself had planned, never in a million years, Lucinda there and then accepted that this was just the way it was. Lady fate had stepped in and given her not one but two babies and now she had to deal with the situation head on. Somehow she would.
‘There’s not another one hiding in there?’ she asked nervously.
‘No, just the two,’ Mr Field said cheerfully.
‘Can I see now?’ He turned the screen and Lucinda gazed in increasing wonder at the tiny hearts beating, scarcely able to comprehend that there were two babies tumbling inside her.
Mr Field clicked away, taking measurements. ‘Two placentas so they’re not identical. Of course, too early to tell the sex—will you want to know?’
Lucinda shook her head. ‘I’m getting used to surprises—why spoil it?’
And then it was over. Clutching her photo, she said her goodbyes, gratefully went to the loo and paid the bill. The afternoon sun was bright after the darkness of the ultrasound room. Catching the tram, she sat by a window and fished the picture from her bag. Looking up, she saw an old woman smiling at her.
‘Is that your baby?’ she asked, offering Lucinda a toffee.
Lucinda took the toffee with a smile. ‘Actually, I’m having twins—see.’ She showed her the photo.
‘Looks like a map of the moon to me, but congratulations, love. Here, you’d better have another one.’ She offered Lucinda another toffee. ‘You’ll be needing to keep your sugar up.’
Back at the hospital, unlocking her office, she paled as she saw Seb making his way out of PICU.
‘Lucinda.’ He gave her a smile.
‘Where’s Billy?’
‘There’s a Christmas party on Chest Med which he “had” to go to. Little devil. He’s cleaned Father Christmas out already and it isn’t even the twenty-fifth.’ Though he was smiling, she could see the tiredness on his face.
‘You’re leaving,’ she said simply.
Seb nodded. ‘Seems my speech went down well. John told me at the conference about this job. I was only half listening but, well, things just aren’t working out here. I don’t want Billy to go to boarding school and I’m sick of nannies. This job’s practically nine to five. It’s a promotion, I know, but leaving a hospital like this for the country, some would see it as a bit of a side step. All the same, it’s what I want.’
‘Is it?’
Seb stared at her for a long time. Oh, she wanted so badly to put her hand up and touch his face but she just stood there. ‘Sure, it’s more admin than I’d like but Billy has to come first. His asthma is getting worse, and the country air will improve it. We’ll be near Bella. As she pointed out, she’s got four kids already so what’s another one in the school holidays? Billy will have to go to after-school care a couple of nights or to Bella’s but I’ll be able to take him most mornings. He’ll have his dad around, and Bella can be a constant feminine role model. He needs that, Lucinda. Gemma is being good but she’s not going to provide what he needs.’
And it all made perfect sense. Seb was right—he did have to go. But it didn’t stop her heart from aching as she listened.
‘When are you leaving?’
‘Two weeks. I’m just covering over Christmas and New Year. Billy’s going to spend it in Sydney with Gemma and her parents. I can finish up here and do the big move myself. I think it would be all a bit much for him otherwise. I want to get Billy settled into his new home before he starts school. We’ve found a house.’
‘Nice?’
‘Too big, but it’s got stables and Billy is desperate for a horse. We’ve done the allergy tests and unfortunately for me that’s the one thing he’s not allergic to, so it’s going to be up at the crack of dawn for me, mucking out stables.’
Lucinda managed a smile. The vision of Seb and Billy riding together made her want to cry. He had got his life all sorted—how could she tell him now? Surely it was better this way?
‘Sounds fun,’ she replied lightly, but it came out all wrong, as if she was being sarcastic. Seb gave her a strange look
‘It probably sounds awful to you, but I’m kind of looking forward to it.’
She gave a nod, terrified her voice might betray her again.
‘You’ll come to my leaving party.’
‘Of course.’
And that was it. Lucinda lingered a moment, watching him walk smartly along the ward. How she longed to call him back, to explain her apparent indifference. But how could she? That would mean telling him about the twins. How could she ruin his life just when he had it on track? She simply couldn’t do it to him and to Billy.
And so she retreated back to where she was safe. Back to the days of old before Billy and Seb had spun her life around. She smiled less and worked ever harder, if that was possible.
Christmas Eve came and the hospital was in a frenzy of excitement. Although the theatres were only open for emergencies, Lucinda was kept busy with outpatients and ward work. Finally she made her way over to CGU.
‘Anything for me?’
‘Of course.’ Ann gave her a smile. The ward was more than half-empty. ‘Robert Good is doing amazingly well.’ She nodded her head to the bed where a pale young boy lay. Lucinda had performed cardiac mesh repair on him only two days previously. ‘I know it’s a bit soon but his parents have asked, as he’s doing so well, could you
consider him for day leave tomorrow? Jack had a look, but said it was your call.’
Lucinda nodded. ‘Yes, he mentioned it. What do you think?’
Ann gave a small shrug. ‘He seems all right but, to be honest, if it was my son who had just had cardiac surgery I wouldn’t want him home yet. I tried telling the parents, but you know what some people are like. They don’t think we’re doing much for him and think I’m just being pedantic.’
‘OK, I’ll take a look.’ She walked over to the young patient. ‘Good afternoon, Robert. How are you feeling?’
‘Great. I just want to go home.’
Lucinda gave him a smile. ‘Well, let’s have a look at you.’
His parents hovered anxiously, obviously keen to have their son home.
‘He feels a bit warm. What was his temp?’
Ann checked the chart. ‘Thirty-seven at four o’clock.’
‘Could you just check it again, please?’
Ann put the tympanic thermometer into the young boy’s ear.
‘Thirty-seven four.’
Lucinda finished her examination.
‘Could I have a word, please?’ She called the parents over to the office.
‘I’m not happy for Robert to have day leave,’ she said.
‘But why not? Is something wrong?’ Mr Good asked tersely.
‘He has a low-grade temperature that I’d like to keep an eye on. It’s probably nothing to worry about but I’d rather he stayed here.’
Mr Good stiffened his shoulders. ‘Well, if his temperature’s normal tomorrow, can he go home?’
‘I’d really rather he stayed.’
‘What’s a couple of hours?’ Mr Good demanded. ‘It’s not as if you’re doing anything for him now. Just a couple of pills here and there. The kid should be home for Christmas.’
Lucinda began to feel irritated but kept her voice even.
‘Mr and Mrs Good, I explained to you in Outpatients that if the operation was done on the twenty-second it would mean your son would have to spend Christmas in hospital, to which you agreed.’
‘Yes,’ Mr Good admitted. ‘But he’s done better than expected. Surely there’s room for a bit of leniency? We’ve bought him a new computer game and he’s desperate to try it out. What’s he going to do here all day?’
Lucinda stiffened. ‘Here skilled nursing staff will monitor him. If he develops a temperature, bloods will be taken promptly and if, heaven forbid, he develops any of a multitude of post-operative complications there will be staff immediately on hand to deal with them. As much as I can understand your desire to have your son home for Christmas, even allowing for leniency, I cannot in good faith allow him to go.’
Mr Good huffed and puffed a bit longer but Lucinda stood firm and finally they retreated to Robert’s bed.
‘Well, that told them. Good for you,’ Ann remarked.
‘Goodness, you perform open heart surgery and they moan you’re not doing enough. If something untoward happened, they’d be the first to blame us for letting him go home. You’d think they’d just be grateful Robert’s well. So much for Christmas spirit.’
‘Speaking of Christmas spirit, where’s yours?’ Ann asked. ‘I hear you’re snapping at everyone.’
Lucinda pursed her lips. ‘I am not,’ she stated firmly, then relented. ‘Well, maybe I am. I don’t know, the nice me didn’t seem to get very far.’
‘Oh, yes, it did. It got you pregnant with twins,’ Ann joked.
‘Exactly. Oh, I don’t know, Ann, maybe once Seb’s gone it will be a bit easier. It’s agony, seeing him every day and not being able to tell him.’ She sat there glumly. ‘On second thoughts, who am I kidding? It’s going to be hell when he leaves. As much as I avoid him, it’s nice knowing he’s around. I just can’t imagine not seeing him.’
Ann gave her a knowing look. ‘Well, you’d better do something about it. Have you told your parents yet?’
Lucinda shook her head. ‘There never seems a good time. I’ll probably get Christmas out of the way first. I don’t want to ruin it for them.’
‘They’re not children, Lucinda. It’s not as if you’re telling them Father Christmas isn’t real. I think now would be an excellent time. From what you’ve told me, their lives will be one big party over Christmas. It might be just the time to slip in the news, when they’re not going to be sitting dwelling over things.’
Lucinda laughed at the idea. ‘I don’t think so. Can you just imagine? “Well, happy Christmas for tomorrow. You enjoy your party tonight, and by the way your prodigy is about to become a single parent and you’re going to be grandparents to twins. Say hi to the Merringtons for me.”’ Lucinda shook her head. ‘I’ll probably fly up there in the new year once the prof is back. I’ll have a couple of annual leave days by then.’
Ann gave her a dry smile. ‘Oh, well, it’s up to you, but you’re going to have to let people know soon. You’re starting to show.’
‘Surely not,’ Lucinda said, shocked. ‘I thought that didn’t happen for ages yet!’ Standing up, she pulled her dress against her stomach. ‘I just look a bit bloated.’
Ann laughed. ‘I meant a bit higher up. You look as if you’ve had breast implants.’
‘Awful, aren’t they? I think I’m going to have to take myself off to Bianca’s bra shop for a fitting,’ Lucinda joked, but suddenly Ann shivered, and her face paled. ‘Are you all right, Ann?” Lucinda asked, concerned.
Ann gave her a worried look. ‘I think so. I just went all cold, as if someone walked over my grave.’
‘You’re not getting one of your hunches, are you?’ Lucinda asked, genuinely concerned.
Ann shook her head. ‘I hope not. Still, I’ll check the patients carefully. It’d be awful to have one go off over Christmas.’
‘I’ll let you get on, then.’ Lucinda stood up. ‘Are you on in the morning?’
‘Yes, just till one.’
‘I’ll say happy Christmas tomorrow, then.’
The evening stretched out before her. Home didn’t sound tempting, but if she went to the doctors’ mess she’d probably end up seeing Seb. Suddenly, for the first time in weeks she actually felt hungry. An evening at Suriyan’s sounded good and then she could head home to watch ‘Carols by Candlelight’. She made her way to the office to collect her bag, but typically now she had decided what to do with herself a spanner was thrown into the works as her emergency pager went off and the overhead system crackled.
‘Cardithoracics to Emergency Department. ETA five minutes.’
Lucinda made her way across the hospital. ETA meant the expected arrival time so the paramedics must be bringing someone in. These were the patients she dreaded most. Usually desperately ill and requiring urgent intervention, in the emergency department more than anywhere you had to think on your feet.
She headed straight for the resuscitation room where a collection of staff was waiting around the empty resuscitation bed. Jack Wells greeted her.
‘MVA with a penetrating chest injury. Paramedics said it was pretty bad.’
Lucinda nodded. ‘Set up for a chest drain and have an emergency thoracotomy tray ready,’ she said to the charge nurse.
‘Done.’
Lucinda gave a small nod. Here the staff were incredibly efficient. They made idle chit-chat, used to the drama, but Lucinda didn’t join in. Instead, she focussed on the job ahead, aware that to the rest of the staff she probably looked aloof. The charge nurse handed her a lead gown to wear during the resuscitation so that X-rays could be taken without all the staff having to leave the patient.
‘G’day, guys. What’s the story?’
Seb, breathless from the run, took his place at the head of the bed, slipping on a lead gown while the charge nurse gave him the available details.
Seb listened intently as he set up his equipment. ‘Fifteen years old, you said?’ He started to pull up some drugs, carefully strapping the ampoules to the syringes so he would have all he needed easily to hand. ‘Just the one c
oming in?’
The charge nurse nodded. ‘Just the one. He’s the passenger. The driver died at the scene.’
Lucinda felt the usual butterflies around Seb, but as soon as the paramedics wheeled in the teenager all of that was put to one side as she concentrated solely on the patient.
The accident and emergency consultant took the lead. ‘On my count.’
The patient was deftly lifted onto the resuscitation bed and a swift assessment was made. Seb checked the airway and sucked out the secretions then introduced an endotracheal tube. Lucinda examined the chest while listening to the paramedics.
‘It wasn’t a penetrating wound, as we first thought, just a branch, very superficial. But he’s got decreased breath sounds on the left.’ Lucinda nodded.
‘He’s tight,’ Seb said.
‘X-ray.’ The radiographer called his warning and everyone not in lead gowns made their way briefly out of the examination room. Lucinda hesitated, torn for a moment. She knew the lead gown protected her but she didn’t want to expose the babies unnecessarily. Once her pregnancy was out in the open there would be no question of her staying, but to leave now could raise a few eyebrows. But now was such a vital stage in the pregnancy and the babies had to come first.
She made her way outside and grabbed the arm of one of the paramedics that had brought the boy in.
‘Was it a parent with him that died?’
The paramedic shook his head. ‘No, another kid. Wayne Blackwell. He had his licence on him. Only got his P Plates last week. Such a bloody waste.’
The resuscitation doors slid open.
‘All clear.’
Lucinda stepped inside and Jack looked up from the patient.
‘Where did you disappear to?’
She could feel Seb’s eyes on her.
‘I just wanted to check something with the paramedics.’ It was a bit of a feeble excuse but Jack just nodded.
‘He’s tight,’ Seb stated again.
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