Shelby’s Angels: Sometimes I’m Not
Stephanie Burke
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Copyright ©2004 by Stephanie Burke
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Case #6748
You never know what’s gonna come walking into your office, so you’d better be prepared for anything. But when I got a frantic call from the owner of Club Double Take, telling me she’d be right over, even I couldn’t have anticipated what happened…
Chapter One
Case #6748… and ½
“This should be an easy case, guys.”
Shelby was counting the cash drawers, her faithful Will at her side. Across the wide expanse of her mahogany desk, the seven strippers -- um, exotic dancers -- crowded into her office stared at her. Their expressions ran the gamut from curious to annoyed.
“But why?” Delsin sat on the arm of an overlarge wooden office chair, his hands buried in Raidon’s hair. “This is so unfair, Shelby!” he whined. “Why?”
Delsin couldn’t resist running his hands through Raidon’s white locks. He’d taken his spot next to Raidon as soon as they entered the office. The stoic Japanese man had cut his hair so it tapered in the back and wedged on the sides. Raidon purred in delight at the attention.
“Why what?” Shelby raised an eyebrow.
“Why do we have to be here?” Delsin pouted. He was wearing only his purple spangled G-string, and his tight, muscled body still glistened with baby oil from his earlier performance. “Tonight is Orgy Night, Shelby, and I have to call my date. Puawai is bringing flavored lube.”
“Orgy…” Count to three. Shelby took a deep breath. “I thought you were supposed to be detectives?”
She desperately tried to shake the thought of them all writhing naked together on a huge bed, and glared at Delsin, who glared back unashamed.
“We earned it! I mean, we did foil that pet theft… thingy…”
“Pet theft ring,” Shelby offered, rolling her eyes. She recorded some numbers on her ledger and moved on to tally the tens.
“And we stopped that whacko from stealing used underwear at the fashion show,” Shen added. Flavored lubes, he thought. For a female, Puawai wasn’t half bad. And she usually brought Chris. Chris had no gag reflex…
“You caught him because you were trying to take the shoes the designer left in the same closet!” Shelby felt a headache coming on. In fact, she was pretty sure it had brought its luggage and was planning to stay a while.
“They were Prada, Shelby.” Shen was firm. “I was not taking them -- I thought the thief had developed class and was going to steal them instead of the underwear. You have to have the right feet for Prada -- pedicured and moisturized.”
And to show proof, he kicked out of one boot, peeled off his thick white sweat sock, and thrust his glorious appendage up for her to view.
The others ooohed and ahhhed as the pretty tootsies came to light.
“If I hadn’t tried to protect them, then they too would have been on sale at eBay! eBay, Shelby! People who shop on eBay buy off the rack!” He gave a delicate shudder echoed by at least three of the Angels. “It was a matter of defense of proper shoes!”
“That was a hard case, Shelby.” Delsin came back to the original point, still staring at Shen’s pretty little foot. “And Shen is also correct in his statements.”
But then thoughts of pretty feet and tiny little toes reminded him of his foot fetish. And those thoughts made him think of his feet in the hot suckling mouth of some worshipful human treating him as befitted his god-like status. And that, of course, brought his mind back to the sex they were missing by standing here talking to Shelby. “We deserve our orgy!”
He looked around at the other gentlemen, drumming up support for his cause, and received nods of agreement in return.
“So,” Shelby began. She stuffed a roll of twenties into the cash box and slammed the box shut. “In the quest for sweaty group sex, no doubt involving alcohol, food products, and battery operated devices, I’m sure you’ve forgotten your main focus?”
“Uh.” Shen frowned, but without wrinkling up his forehead and causing premature age lines. “Orgasms?”
He was still wearing his cute fluffy puppy ears and little curly tail and the not so childish chain mail jock strap, part of his poor little puppy act. His bare toes curled and uncurled as he swung his foot through the air-conditioned air, not quite ready to cover the magnificence of his bare tootsies. Especially since Delsin was eyeing them speculatively.
“No,” Barika tossed in. He squirmed in another oversized office chair that seemed to strain under his muscular bulk, tugging down the skin-tight black leather shorts he wore to wait tables in Angels. “Multiple orgasms. Multiples should be the goal and focus of every man in here… and Shelby too, of course.”
“Impossible!” Blain argued, leaning against the wall closest to the door, his signature curly red hair damp with sweat. He wore his gold thong, and was clearly tired from working the floor for tips after his last set. “I mean, you can control your hard-on so your partner can experience hours of pleasure, but multiples for a man is just not happening, laddy.” He crossed his arms across his chest and waited for an explanation. If this were possible, he could add it to his already advanced sexual knowledge.
“Well,” Barika began in tutorial fashion, ignoring the incredulous look on Shelby’s face. “A man can be taught to experience multiple orgasms without ejaculation. First, you need a good solid cock ring and a feather…”
“Wait!” Shelby jumped to her feet, knocking papers to the carpeted floor, and glared at the assembled men.
“Yes,” Shen cried out suddenly. “I have no paper to take notes!”
“No!” Shelby wailed. “Stop that right now! I thought you were supposed to be detectives!”
“We are,” Shen stated, looking innocently up at her. “We are now using our sleuthing skills to determine if this male multiple orgasm thing is attainable for all of us.”
“What?” Shelby was torn between amusement and outrage. Shen, her Shen, was trying to use logic on her! “You’re turning down a job with intrigue and danger for the mere challenge of more sex, when it’s something you all excel at anyway?”
If they were going to toss logic at her, then she was going to damn well toss it back.
“Danger?” Blain perked up.
“Intrigue?” Now she had Rika’s attention. He dropped the multi-orgasm sex talk and sat up in his chair.
“That and more…” Shelby dropped her voice to a conspirator’s level. “…in spades.”
“Tell us more,” Nalu pleaded. “Will there be anything medical for me to pursue?”
“Well, it’s a kidnapping case.”
“Then they should go to the police. The
sex swing and the lubes are waiting,” Delsin pouted. He was losing his fellow Angels, and it did not make him happy. “And we have the flavored kind en route.”
“International kidnappings,” Shelby whispered, adding menace to her voice. “The kind the police can’t help.”
“International?” Adan perked up. He hadn’t been scheduled that night, but had come down from the upstairs apartments so as to not miss the opening orgy festivities. But now this had grabbed his attention.
“Why won’t the police help?” Barika loved nothing more than a good scandal -- nothing other than sex or food.
“Because of who the clients are.” Shelby sighed deeply. She slipped the cash box back into its drawer and locked it.
“And they are?” Raidon was now intrigued. He was wearing a black kimono with embroidered tigers crawling down the back. Shelby was sure he wore nothing under the long, traditional robe that parted just enough to give enticing glimpses of his caramel-colored skin.
“Ever hear of a club called Double Take?”
“Oh! I know it,” Shen said, recovering from his early shock and bouncing on the desk, shifting Shelby’s various stationary supplies. “It is a vampire-Goth transsexual club that has the most amazing drag queens!”
“Yeah, well they are running into trouble, like their people turning up missing trouble.” Shelby sat up with a grin, sure she had the men right where she wanted them.
“How can we help?” Barika leaned forward, intent.
Industry people tended to stick together, be it stripping or modeling, and the people of Club Double Take were no exception. If drag queens were disappearing, it would be low priority for the cops. Most detectives would assume they were gay or druggies, or had just left town for one reason or another. It wasn’t fair to the folks who tried to eke out a living showing off their bodies, but nothing in this world was fair.
“Well, you can help by doing what you all do best.” Shelby was proud of the way her Angels had finally rallied together.
“Having sex in groups?” Delsin asked.
When everyone in the room glared, he shrugged. “It sure would help me.” He crossed his arms over his chest and sulked.
“No,” Adan objected. “Blend in and find out what the customers know.”
“Dazzle them with our beauty?” Everyone turned to stare at Shen as he spouted those words. “What?” he protested. “Wrong answer?”
“No love, kind of all three,” Shelby said, a smile on her face as she settled back in her chair. “You’ll have to look like you’re willing to have sex in groups, you have to blend in and sleuth, and you have to dazzle them with your great beauty.”
“Um…” Delsin felt a trap in there somewhere.
“And… you have to go undercover as drag queens,” Shelby chirped, with a mischievous grin. “Isn’t that wonderful?”
She received a “what?” an “ohhh!” and an “over my dead body” in response.
“Listen, what better way to find a kidnapper than to make yourself look like his next victim?”
“But…” Barika was fiercely protective of his manhood, and wearing a dress threatened it.
“Listen,” Shelby said, before he could start with the complaints. “You get to wear wonderful clothes, perform on stage, and you get to help people. Isn’t helping people fun?”
A stern silence was her answer.
Okay, she thought, time for plan two.
“Fair enough.” Shelby sighed. “Now, who is to be back-up?” She looked around at her disgruntled Angels. They all flinched.
“Barika,” she decided. “You look like someone’s big butch boyfriend.”
“I’m big and butch, but never a boyfriend. I like more manly sports.”
“Like hide the weenie with everything that moves,” she purred, almost daring him to object, as she had a list of his conquests, and it was a long list. “I understand.”
She rolled her eyes at his indignant huff. “I’d like to have two on the inside, so I need more muscle. Nalu, you are it.”
“Huh?” Nalu’s eyes had that blank look again, the look that said he had checked out back to his own plane of existence. He was probably getting screwed there, Shelby thought with annoyance.
“Hide on the inside and beat up the bad guys.” Shelby tried to break the orders down into simplistic terms, the best way to deal with Nalu, if you weren’t talking physical fitness or sex.
“Oh. Okay,” he said, then went back to staring off into outer space, probably having an out-of-body multi-orgasmic sexual encounter with a few aliens from Mars.
“Okay, you two sit tight. I want to check the list Feenixxx gave me.”
“Phoenix?”
“With an “f” and a triple “x”; the owner of Club Double Take. She’ll be here any minute. Now I need to pick which of you are going to be in drag and…”
Shelby looked around for her list. “I think this is a great opportunity to help out your fellow man -- or queen, as it were.” She bent over in her seat to scan for the papers on the floor. “Not to mention high heels. Your pretty little tootsies would look wonderful in pumps, Shen.”
Looking at her list, she straightened up… just in time to see four male backsides streaking from the room, almost knocking over the tall black woman who stood in the doorway.
“Goodness,” the stranger breathed, her voice deep and velvet as she turned to watch the retreating male asses. “It’s like a dog and pony show and I’m fresh out of whips.”
“Guys!” Shelby wailed. “Was it the high heels?” But she was staring at an empty hall. Turning to Will, she smirked. “Will, baby?”
“Yes, Shelby?”
“Fetch.”
Chapter Two
And off Will went, like a shot, his long ponytail trailing behind his shapely ass, lovingly cupped in his tight jeans.
“Oh my,” Feenixxx breathed as yet another example of exquisite masculine buttocks sped past her. “They come and go so quickly here. Pity. With all those looks, you would expect staying power.”
“You must be Feenixxx.” Shelby wiped the Will-induced drool off her chin.
“In the flesh, darling.” Feenixxx thrust out an impressive chest, even by Shelby’s standards, and ran one hand, manicured with razor sharp red daggers for fingernails, along her shapely body.
The woman had such presence!
Her eyes glittered a golden brown and her complexion was a smooth, even, dark chocolate. Her hair was done up in millions of tiny little braids and hung to her waist in a profusion of curls and waves. She was dressed in a skin-tight strapless sundress that showed off the delicate bones of her neck and shoulders.
For all of her height, maybe a good five feet eleven inches, Feenixxx moved with grace and exuded confidence.
“Welcome to Angels.” Shelby smiled at the woman, instantly liking her for her attitude and the good sense she showed by calling in her Angels when things got too tough. “Those were a few of the special Angels. They’ll be returned quickly.”
“It had to have been the high heels,” Barika chuckled, tickled pink now that he knew he would not be required to wear a dress or makeup. It was the one reason he hadn’t bolted with the others.
Nalu stared into space.
Shen, on the other hand, stared, enraptured by the creature that had entered the offices, his eyes sparkling as he took in her form. “Beautiful,” he whispered. He moved to his feet as if in a trance and gently took Feenixxx’s hand. With reverence, he lifted it to his lips and placed upon it the gentlest of kisses.
“That’s Shen,” Shelby said, amazed at the courtly gesture. Then again, she remembered etiquette and manners had been a major part of his growing years. “Shen, this is Feenixxx, the owner of Club Double Take and our latest client.”
“I’m delighted to make your acquaintance,” he intoned reverently, then released her hand and took a few steps back to deliver an elegant bow.
“Um, down boy,” Shelby murmured. In the hallway, there was sh
outing and the sound of marching footsteps. “And that would be Will, bringing back the rest of the chickens. I’ll pick Shen’s second when they return and it will probably be Delsin or Raidon. I was hoping you could help with that. Shen was a natural because he’s so in touch with his feminine side.”
“Are you, doll?” Feenixxx purred, her eyes almost glittering.
“In the correct circumstances,” he replied, adding a wink, “I allow my masculine presence to overwhelm.”
Barika was shocked. He had never seen Shen show this much attention to a mere woman, unless it was to correct a fashion mistake or to get catty when she possessed something he wanted. This was singular.
“Anyway,” Shelby broke in. “I was saying I might pick Delsin. He’s the one with the long hair, being carried into the offices kicking and screaming.” As she spoke, Will hauled a kicking and complaining fall of hair and attitude back into the room.
“But high heels will kill my arches!” he wailed. “Do you want my arches to fall, Shelby? How can they kiss the feet of the one they revere, if the one they revere has feet like yours?”
“Will, Delsin… Hey! What do you mean, feet like mine?”
Shelby planted her hands on her hips as Will dropped Delsin to his feet and the other cowed Angels followed him into the room. “I have pretty feet!”
“Your feet are rough and scaly.” Delsin crossed his arms defensively across his chest and pouted.
“Are not!” Shelby was offended. She knew she had pretty feet! Will told her daily.
“Are too! I ought to know, Shelby. And you can’t believe what Will says. He is just trying to get laid!”
“You little…” Shelby’s eyes blazed as she took a threatening step forward, but Barika’s voice brought her back.
“Um, professional, guys.”
Shelby froze, mouth open to deliver a stinging retort, and glanced over at Feenixxx who was grinning. Shen, dazed, continued to stare at her.
“Um, please excuse us.” Shelby covered her face with her hands. “My guys are --”
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