by Beth Rinyu
“Ryan, why don’t you go and pick out some ice cream while I finish up here,” I said in an effort to get him away from her. I watched out of the corner of my eye as he examined the ice cream. I stood back, trying not to be noticed by her. I took Ella from the shopping cart and held her tightly to try and calm her down. I kissed her on the head and realized she felt a little warm. I wasn’t sure if she was running a fever or if she was just hot from all of the screaming she was doing.
“I’ll take a half pound of the smoked ham, sliced very thin,” Jonathan’s mother said in a very condescending tone. After she was satisfied that the man was cutting her ham to her specifications, she turned around and locked eyes with me. She looked me over, up and down and then focused her attention to Ella. “Nicole, nice to see you again.” I didn’t respond; I just looked straight ahead, praying that the lady would hurry up with slicing my turkey. “Is this your little girl?” I nodded as Ella continued to whimper and I did my best to console her. “Well, she’s beautiful.”
“Thank you,” I whispered.
“Just as beautiful as my grandson.”
I took a deep breath and swallowed hard. “He’s not your grandson. I believe the phrase you used to describe him was ‘evil little bastard.’” She looked at me as if I had embarrassed her.
“Nicole, that was a long time ago. You were both so young. Neither of you were ready –”
I grabbed my turkey that was just placed on the counter and walked away. I didn’t want to hear anything else that she had to say. “You’re not going to keep him from us, Nicole,” she shouted. I kept walking, feeling the tears beginning to burn my eyes.
I tried my best to pull it together for Ryan’s sake. “Is this okay?” Ryan asked, holding up a gallon of ice cream. I just nodded, not even paying attention to which flavor he was throwing in the cart. I quickly finished up, making sure that Ryan was right by my side, while I continued to deal with Ella’s outbursts. By the time I got to the checkout line, I was mentally drained. Ryan placed the items on the conveyor belt as I held Ella, who refused to get back in the shopping cart. Ryan bagged all of the groceries for me while Ella flailed around, trying her best to get out of my arms. I could feel myself breaking out in a sweat as the stares of the other shoppers began to focus on me. The lady in the next checkout lane over looked at me and shook her head as if I was the one throwing the fit. “I’m sorry; she’s a baby. You don’t have to make it worse by staring at me,” I shouted over to her, causing her to turn around quickly.
“What’s the matter, pretty baby, are you having a bad day?” the cashier asked Ella as I swiped my credit card. Ella didn’t want any part of it. She buried her head into my shoulder and screamed even louder.
“I’m so sorry,” I said to the cashier.
“Don’t worry about it; anyone who looks at you strangely doesn’t know what it’s like to be a mom.”
Ryan pushed the cart while Ella’s screams became louder and the number of eyes on us doubled. We were almost out the door until Ryan misjudged the turn and crashed into the display of cereal just by the exit, causing an avalanche of boxes, blocking the exit door. I looked behind us at the traffic jam that we had created to find Jonathan’s mother at the end of it, shaking her head and rolling her eyes. I looked out the door and saw the nice produce man that had helped us earlier, putting out his cigarette, and walking in to help us. He picked up all the boxes by the door to allow everyone behind us to exit. “I’m sorry,” Ryan said with tears in his eyes.
“Ryan, it’s okay, sweetie, it was an accident,” I answered.
“It’s not a big deal,” the produce man reassured him. “We’ll have this cleaned up in no time.” He piled up the boxes as Ryan handed them to him. “See that, we’re all done,” he said with a smile.
“I cannot thank you enough,” I said.
“No problem. Now get home and get out this heat.” I smiled and headed out the door. I grabbed Ryan by the arm to prevent him from crossing, just as Jonathan’s mother’s Mercedes flew past us. By the time we reached the car, we were somewhere close to meltdown number thirty with Ella. I started the car and turned on the air, the whole time Ella was screaming in my ear and pulling on my hair. Once I felt like it had cooled down a bit, I wrestled to get her in her car seat. The sweat was beginning to pour off me and my patience was wearing very thin. I finally buckled her in and shut the door to drown out some of her screams. Ryan was doing his best to help load the groceries in the trunk.
“I got this Ryan; go in the car where it’s cool.”
“I think I’d rather sweat,” he said as he held his hands over his ears to block out Ella’s yelling.
“In the cup holder is my iPod and headphones. Put them on and you won’t hear a thing.”
He smiled and got into the car. I loaded the last bag and closed the trunk. I took a deep breath and wiped the tears that were rolling down my face. This morning had been a nightmare. I jumped at the ringing of my cell phone from within my purse. I pulled it out to find that it was Dailan. “Hey,” I answered, trying not to sound frazzled.
“Happy anniversary,” he said.
“Yeah, happy anniversary,” I replied.
“What’s the matter, Nicole?”
“Nothing; just a bad morning. We made such a scene at the grocery store that I will never be able to show my face in there again.” I decided not to mention the other reason why I didn’t want to shop there – Jonathan’s mother was a customer. I would save that part until he got home.
“Well, I’ll be home tomorrow afternoon and I promise you will have my complete attention the next couple of days. Is that Ella screaming?” he asked as I opened the car door to get inside.
“Yup, she’s been like this all morning in the store, hence why I must now find a new place to shop.”
“Well, what’s wrong with her?”
“I have no clue; she’s just in a mood.”
“Sounds like her mother is too,” he said rather sarcastically, which pissed me off beyond words.
“I’m not in a mood, Dailan. I would have loved for you to have just experienced what I just went through in that food store and see how you would be feeling right now.” Ella’s screams became even louder, causing the woman who was loading up her car next to me to look over. “I’ve got to get her home, before someone thinks I’m abusing her or something.” I could feel my voice cracking with emotion. Ella and her meltdowns, Jonathan’s mother, and Dailan making his rude comments about my demeanor was all too much for me to take. He would have been flipping out if he were in that food store this morning. “I’ll talk to you later, okay?”
“Yeah, okay.”
“Love you.”
“Love you too,” he replied as if he were distracted by something else. I hung up the phone and headed home. Ella continued to carry on. I took a deep breath and became numb to her screaming. After the morning I had, I knew that the rest of the day could only get better.
Chapter 37
Dailan
As if I didn’t feel bad enough about missing our anniversary. Talking to Nicole this morning made me feel even worse. She sounded like she was on the verge of tears. I knew that I had put most of the burden of Ryan and Ella on her lately. But I planned on making it up to her when I got back.
I heard back from the attorney for the custody case. I was told that the proceedings were being temporarily placed on hold. I knew the reason for that was because that dirt bag was waiting to see the outcome of this case first. I knew that it was weighing heavily on Nicole’s mind. I promised her it would be okay and I meant it. I was just finishing up with last of the meetings. It had been a long day. I wanted to get to bed early. I had an early flight home, and I was exhausted. I called Nicole again. Things seemed much quieter than this morning. She and Ryan were watching a movie and Ella was already in bed.
“Yo, D, Come have a drink with us,” Paul shouted from the bar area of the hotel.
He and Rachel were already slamming down sho
ts of vodka. “No, I’m beat.”
“Oh, come on. One drink won’t kill you; it will help you sleep better.”
“Come on, Dailan. Allow me to buy you a drink. You did a hell of a job today,” Mr. Allan said.
I sat down and ordered a beer while Paul and Rachel continued to put away the shots. I wasn’t paying much attention to either one of them, but I could tell Mr. Allan was getting pissed by the spectacle they were making of themselves. “Well, I think I’m headed up to my room.” He looked over at Paul and Rachel and shook his head.
“Good night,” I said. I was right behind him. Rachel’s laugh was getting under my skin. I pulled my phone from my pocket and replied to Nicole’s “Good night” text: Good night, beautiful, I’ll see you tomorrow.
I placed my phone down on the bar as I pulled out my wallet to throw money down for a tip. “Good night,” I said to Paul and Rachel.
“Aw, Dailan, come on; you used to be able to hang with the best of us,” Paul said.
“Yeah, well what can I say? Things change.”
Paul said his goodbyes and excused himself to use the bathroom. “Night,” I said to Rachel, who looked totally trashed.
She wrapped her arms around my neck. “Do you care for some company? I won’t tell if you don’t?”
I removed her arms from my neck and shook my head. “Sorry, but I love my wife and even if I weren’t married, you are so not my type.”
The smile that was stretched across her face just moments ago had now turned to anger. “Suit yourself, but you don’t know what you are missing,” she said.
“That’s quite okay; I’m sure it’s not much.” Her mouth opened wide and she shook her head. “Good night.” I smiled, seemingly making her angrier. She was definitely scum. I didn’t need Nicole to help me form that opinion; I figured that out all on my own.
Chapter 38
Nicole
I fell asleep early and awoke to Ella's screams through the baby monitor. I was in such a deep sleep and was surprised to see that it was only 11:06 p.m. when I looked at the clock. I quickly shut Ryan's bedroom door on my way to her room so she wouldn't wake him. I picked her up from her crib. She was burning up. She had been running a slight temperature all day, but the Tylenol seemed to help keep it under control. Her crying was not her normal “I can't get my way” cries. She sounded as if she was in pain. I grabbed the thermometer and the bottle of Tylenol and brought her down into the kitchen. Her screams became even louder when I stuck the thermometer in her ear to take her temperature. "It's okay, Ella." I did my best to try and soothe her, to no avail. I was shocked when I saw the thermometer register at 104. I quickly did my best to get some more Tylenol down her, half of which she spit out. I warmed her up a bottle in hopes that she would take it. She hadn't eaten much all day, which was totally out of character for her. She turned her head as I tried to stick the bottle in her mouth. I sat in the rocking chair and rocked her back and forth, trying to get her to calm down, but nothing was working. I took her temperature a half hour later and it was now 104.5. I wiped her down with a cool rag in an effort to get her temp down. I finally called the doctor on call when she seemed to be having what seemed like convulsions. When the doctor called me back, he said it was from the fever being so high and told me to get her to the emergency room right away. I called my mom, waking her up out of a dead sleep. She assured me that she would be right over to stay with Ryan.
I was so scared seeing Ella this way. She had never run a temperature this high. I called Dailan and was getting annoyed when he still hadn't picked up by the third ring. "Hello," a familiar female voice finally answered.
I looked at the display on my phone to make sure that it was Dailan's number that I had dialed - it was. "Who is this?" I snapped, even though I knew exactly whose voice it was on the other end.
"It's Rachel." She giggled.
"Put my husband on the phone now!"
"Oh, I'm sorry, but he's busy with me," she said and then hung up the phone.
I could feel my heart beating out of my chest as pure rage overtook my body. I hit the redial button and the phone went right to voicemail like it was turned off.
"You fuckin' asshole!" I shouted, hurling my phone across the room.
I took a deep breath and tried to calm myself down. Right now, Ella was my first concern, since her father was too busy screwing around with my worst enemy. I had Ella all ready to go when my mom arrived. "Do you want your dad to go with you?" she asked.
"No, I'll be fine."
My mom touched Ella's head and gasped. "Oh, my poor baby," she said. "Did you want me to call Dailan for you?" my mom asked. I shook my head and wiped the tear that instantly rolled down my face at the sound of his name.
"Oh, Nicole, she's going to be fine. Your brother used to run these high fevers all the time. Call me as soon as you know what's going on."
"I will," I said as I headed out the door.
Luckily, they had a special Emergency Room just for pediatrics and they took Ella back as soon as I arrived. The nurse took her temperature and it still hadn't gone down. I cringed at her shrill screams when the nurse started an IV on her. A very familiar man came in and I had to do a double take. It was Jason Balint. I had gone to high school with him and I always remembered him as being one of the few people that didn't alienate me when I became pregnant. We had lost touch after high school and I often wondered what he was up to.
"Nicole Morgan?" he said as a smile stretched across his face.
"Oh my God, Jason! How are you?"
"I'm good. Is this beautiful little baby yours?" I nodded. Ella began to scream when he looked inside her ears and down her throat. "I know, pretty girl, your ears hurt." His voice seemed to calm him her down. "Well, she has a double ear infection and what appears to be strep throat. She's in a lot of pain. She's dehydrated too. Once these fluids start pumping into her, the temperature should start to go down. I’m going to start the antibiotics in her IV as well to get them into her quicker. I’m going to admit her overnight and get her into a room, just so we can monitor her to make sure that the fever does go down. You will be able to stay with her.”
“Thank you.” I was feeling a little bit better at least now, knowing the cause of the fever.
By the time Ella was finally put in a room, I was exhausted. I made sure that I called my mother to let her know what was going on and that I would be spending the night at the hospital. She reassured me that everything would be fine. I got a sick feeling in my stomach every time I thought of Dailan. Ella was finally asleep; I kissed her on her forehead and was elated to feel how much cooler she felt already. I lay down on the couch and passed out cold. I was exhausted both physically and mentally.
I immediately sat up and rubbed my eyes when the nurse came in the next morning to take Ella’s vitals. Ella was up and smiling, which in turn made me smile. “The fever is gone way down, Mom,” the nurse said with a smile. I sighed with relief. “Just have to wait for the doctor to give the okay and you two could be out of here. I’m going to page him now,” she said as she walked out the door.
I walked over to Ella’s crib and caressed my hand over her face. “Are you feeling better?” She smiled and began to babble.
“I heard that someone is doing much better this morning,” Jason said as he walked in the room with two cups of coffee in his hand. He handed me a cup and then walked over to examine Ella.
“Thanks for the coffee. Are you here twenty-four hours a day or something?” I joked.
He laughed. “Feels that way sometimes, but no. I am working seven p.m. to seven a.m. So, I will be out of here in a half hour,” he said as he looked down at his watch.
“The fever is gone and the antibiotics look like they’re working their magic on her. She did test positive for strep, so they will knock that out of her too.” He handed me a prescription to have filled for the antibiotics. “I just want her to take a bottle before you guys leave. Try and keep her drinking today. She needs to stay
hydrated, especially in this heat.”
After he was all done with his doctor talk, we began to catch up a bit on the last ten years of our lives. He had gone to college and medical school out in California and moved back about six months ago. I was surprised that I had never seen him at the doctor’s office when I would take Ryan or Ella in, but there were so many doctors in that group that the chances of me seeing him there weren’t that great.
“Well, I have to run. Bring her into the office in three days for a check-up on those ears. It was really great seeing you, Nicole. You haven’t changed a bit.”
“Nice seeing you too, and thanks for the coffee.”
“Not a problem.” He smiled. “See ya, Ella,” he said as he walked out the door.
He was still the same great guy that he was back in high school. He knew how to put my mind at total ease back then and now.
Chapter 39
Nicole
The past…
The final bell on my last day had rung. I felt like I was finally being released from Hell, although spending the next month at home being tutored would be like going into purgatory. But at least there wouldn’t be a Rachel Wiser there. I could just go up to my room to escape my dad. Donna had cheerleading practice, so I was taking the bus home. I hurried up and grabbed all my belongings from my locker. I didn’t want to turn around when I heard Rachel scream, “Jonathan!” She began to make out with him in the middle of the hallway, clearly for my benefit. I continued to pack my stuff in my bag as if the two of them weren’t even standing there. "Two more days till prom," Rachel shouted. I closed my locker door, trying to think of a way that I could exit without walking past them. "Oh, bye, Nicole; it will be so nice not to have to look at your prego butt around here anymore," Rachel said with her arms still wrapped around Jonathan's neck. Jonathan remained silent, unable to look at me. I finally had enough of both of them.