My eyes focus on hers, that is, until I hear Holden at our feet. “Mama. I hungry.”
Her lips twitch into a grin. Then I watch, almost in awe as she scoops him up in her arms, burying her face in his neck and blows raspberries right before she takes him into the bedroom and I hear her digging through her bag to get him a snack.
I’ve never. Susan never did any of that. She didn’t show our children affection freely, not even when they were toddlers. I don’t think I ever saw her scoop them in her arms when they asked for a snack. Instead, she would call for the cook or their nanny to take care of them.
Being part of this moment, it makes me realize that I missed out, that my children missed out. Guilt consumes me at the thought. How could I have allowed any of this to happen? How was I so busy working that I didn’t realize they were being starved emotionally. Did I ruin my children?
Fuck.
“Landry?” Tennessee asks, breaking my thoughts.
Lifting my eyes, I look over at her. She’s smiling, Holden gripping one of her hands, and with the other, he’s eating a granola bar. I decide right in this moment that I’m going to stop being consumed with her and I’m going to strengthen the relationship that I have with my own children, that is, as long as it’s not too late.
Chapter Thirteen
LANDRY
The email from my real estate agent confirms that my offer was accepted on the Tudor house. I send him a thank you email, then close it out. It’s been a week since I’ve been to that house, since I’ve been alone with Tennessee.
I decided to be a more present father to my already grown children. Instead of following my attraction for my young, beautiful, smart, and kind assistant. I’m not sure I am succeeding. I don’t know what I’m doing other than annoying them, especially Lucinda.
Opening a file to start working on for the day, my office door slams open. Lifting my head, I’m surprised to see all three of my children staring back at me. They file into the room, Lucinda quietly closing the door and locking it behind her.
“Dad,” Lawrence begins. “We need to talk to you. We expect answers, too.”
Flicking my gaze from each one of them, I dip my chin toward the sofa and chairs across from me. Leaning back in my chair, I arch a brow as I wait for them to get settled and get down to business.
They obviously have something on their minds and judging by the way they’re watching me, their eyes searching my face, they are really fucking serious about it, too.
“We’re concerned,” Lawrence says.
“We’re straight-up worried and scared,” Lucinda states.
Lifting my hand to my face, I rub my palm down my beard before I tilt my head to the side. “About what?” I ask.
Laurent rolls his eyes before he clears his throat. “You guys are being fucking extra,” he grunts. “Just hit us with it straight, Dad. Do you have cancer? How long do you have left to live?”
I blink. Once. Then twice. Then a third time before I throw my head back and start to laugh.
“Oh god, he’s completely lost his shit,” Lucinda cries.
Straightening my head, I shake it a few times to get the laughter to quit, then I clear my throat and face them again. “I don’t have cancer. What would make you believe that?”
They look at one another, then over to me. “Because you’ve been like really up in our business. Extra lunches, extra dinners. Showing up to hang out,” Lucinda explains. “I mean, you went shopping with me last week, on a weeknight.”
“Dad, you made an appointment in my office just to spend an hour hanging out with me,” Lawrence says.
I wonder if I should tell them the truth. Then I decide that I have to. I need to. “It dawned on me that maybe I wasn’t the father that I should have been. That maybe I wasn’t present enough in your lives. I wanted to make up for that.”
Without skipping a beat, simultaneously they all three burst out laughing. I don’t think I’ve seen all of them laugh together in years and I find myself grinning like a fool as I watch them attempt to compose themselves. I don’t mind in the slightest, even if it is at my expense.
“You were and always have been present. Always,” Lucinda announces.
“Always,” Lawrence agrees.
Laurent stands and makes his way toward my desk. He stops right in front of it, dipping his chin as he catches my eyes with his. “You’ve raised us. You’re a great dad, always have been. But I think it’s time you reclaim your own life back, go and live, Dad.”
“Live?” I ask.
I don’t know why I ask, because as soon as the word leaves my lips all I can think about is my assistant, Tennessee and her big green eyes, her long black hair, and her perfect fucking body. The way she smiles, the way her cheeks tint pink.
Her.
Just her.
Laurent chuckles. “Yeah, Dad. Live. And I have a feeling you know what you want to do next, because the look on your face clearly says you have something in mind… or maybe someone?”
“Oh, he does.” Lucinda smirks. Flicking my gaze to hers, I arch a brow. “Until I know more about her, you have my support. You may not have it after I officially meet her, fair warning.”
“Live, Dad,” Lawrence rasps.
Without another word, all three of my children stand, turn, and walk out of my office. I watch them go and at the same time I get a new email alert and go to my inbox. It’s from my attorney. The subject line says that a mediation date has been set.
It seems as though the dominos are finally falling into place, they’re being set up and organized. They may fall, one by one, in an instant, but for the first time in my entire life they’re lined up in all aspects of my life. Every single one and I can’t deny that I’m a little more than interested to see if they’re going to stay put.
TENNESSEE
Landry’s children file out of his office one by one, all three of them, and I can do nothing but watch. They’re all tall, fit, handsome, and beautiful.
Laurent turns toward me and gives me a wink before he makes his way to the elevator. Lawrence doesn’t even glance my way and I’m kind of glad, he really intimidates me. Lucinda doesn’t continue walking, instead she makes a beeline for my desk and stops directly in front of me.
I blink, giving her a shaky smile as I tip my head back to look up into her eyes. She crosses her arms just beneath her chest and tilts her head to the side. Her gaze slides down my waist, then up to meet my own.
“You’re the assistant?” she asks.
The way she says the word assistant, it doesn’t sound like this is going to be a friendly encounter. It kind of sounds like the word tastes bad on her tongue. I don’t know if I should be holding my breath in fear, but I’m not.
Landry hasn’t as much as spoken more than a handful of sentences to me the entire week. Whatever was possibly building between us, whatever attraction that I thought was there, is most definitely not on his end.
She doesn’t need to worry at all, not even a little bit. I watch as she licks her bottom lip, then sinks her teeth into the flesh before she decides to grace me with whatever she’s intent on saying.
“I don’t know you, so I’m going to reserve my judgment. I just have to give you fair warning. My mother isn’t going to like this, not even a little bit. She will make your life hell. If you think that you’re going to sleep your way to being sole beneficiary anything, you’ve got another thing coming. I will not let some little girl take what’s mine. Not now, not ever. Just remember when my mother is meting out her version of bitch, I’m even better at it than she could dream of being.”
I’m not really sure what to say in response. I mean, I guess if I was dating Landry, I would be offended or upset. However, I’m not dating him. Hell, he isn’t even talking to me anymore other than for work things.
“Understood,” I mutter.
She jerks her chin up in the air and without another word, she spins on her toes and heads toward the elevator, an elevator that is
being held by her brothers. Both men are watching me, too. Waiting to gauge my response, or perhaps to see if I’m going to give her a nasty look when she turns her back.
I don’t give them what they want, or maybe I do. Laurent’s lips twitch up into a small smile as I just look at them. My gaze flicks from one brother to the other, then to Lucinda’s retreating form until she reaches the held elevator door.
Lawrence presses his lips together, his deep brown eyes watching and no doubt assessing the situation and my response to it—or lack of response, rather.
Once the elevator doors close, I shift my attention back to my work. “You were great,” Julie announces.
Turning my head, I look over to her. “I was?”
She nods her head once, then she looks at her desk before she shifts her gaze back to meet mine. “You were. Lucinda is much like her mother, but deep down she has her father’s heart, they all do. You can win her over, eventually.”
“But why?” I ask.
The question just escapes, it just comes out of my mouth. Julie’s eyes widen and she opens her mouth, but I start to talk first. “I’m just Landry’s assistant. It doesn’t really matter how any of them feel about me. I do my job, I go home. That is the extent of our relationship.”
Julie clears her throat, then she surprises me by standing to her feet. She makes her way over to me, bending slightly as she sets her palms on my desk. She levels me with her gaze and I press my lips together as I wait for what she’s about to say.
“If you think that you’re just some assistant and he’s just your boss, I don’t know what to tell you, sweetie, but a lowly assistant you are not.”
“What are you trying to say?” I ask on a breath.
Her lips slowly curve up into a grin. “I don’t think that I need to say anything. I’m going to enjoy watching this unfold. Personally, I was against it initially and I know that it has only been a few weeks, but I’m old. I’ve been around the block and I can sense when something that is meant to be is about to happen and this is just that, Tennessee.”
I open my mouth to ask her another question, but I don’t get the opportunity. Instead, Landry’s office door flies open and there he is. He’s standing in his doorway, his head turned to the side and his warm gaze focused right on me.
I stare at him, hoping, almost praying, that he’ll call me into his office and kiss me again like he did a couple of weeks ago. I haven’t been able to get that kiss out of my mind. Then, not to mention the way he was with Holden over the weekend.
It’s too much. He’s too much, and it made me think that a future could be possible. I do not need to think that. Not at all. I need to focus on my job and my son, nothing else.
I don’t need to think about Landry in his perfect fit jeans and suits. I don’t need to think about his strong forearms, the way his polo shirt hugged his biceps. I don’t need to think about his thick beard or his neatly combed and styled hair.
I don’t need to think about him at all. Except… he’s all I can think about. Every minute of every day, Landry is the only thing on my mind and I want more. I want so much more from him. I want it all, and that scares the absolute hell out of me.
Landry clears his throat, his eyes focused on mine, and then just as abruptly as he opened the door and appeared, he turns and slams it closed behind him. I clear my throat, then do it again, feeling a bit of a tickle.
“Tennessee?” Julie asks.
“Just a tickle in my throat,” I say.
She hums, not believing me, but then I feel it again and am forced to clear my throat for a third time. I feel it and I know what’s coming. Allergies and every single time I get them, I get a cold too. Fan-freaking-tastic. I’m going to be sick this weekend. All weekend too, probably.
Turning back to my work, I decide to go into the break room and make some tea. Making my way toward the back room, I shove my mug beneath the individual coffee maker and start it, watching the hot water fill the mug.
I smell him before I turn around and see him. Then I feel him. His hand touches my waist, then he lifts it and his fingertips skim my arm.
“Landry,” I rasp.
He hums. Inhaling a deep breath, he clears his throat. “Tennessee.”
Turning my head, I look over to him just as my water finishes filling the mug. His amber eyes search mine, almost dancing as he watches me for just a moment.
It’s as if he’s trying to figure something out. I’m not sure if it’s me, or what he’s looking for, but I really wish that it’s something inside of me and that he sees it. I shouldn’t wish that, but I do, I can admit it to myself even if to nobody else, I want Landry Astor.
Chapter Fourteen
LANDRY
She’s looking at me, expectantly. Licking my bottom lip, I watch her. This feels huge, it feels gigantic and if I turn away from it now, I’ll never forgive myself. Even if I know that this is so fucking wrong, I’m taking the chance. I’m taking her.
“Come upstairs to the penthouse, I have to talk to you about something,” I gently demand.
Tennessee watches me for a moment, her eyes widening, then she turns to her tea. I watch as she plops the bag inside before grabbing ahold of the handle. I don’t tell her that her tea is going to be the least of her worries, but if she wants it, it’s hers—whatever it is.
“Do I need my iPad or computer?” she asks on an exhale.
I almost laugh, but I don’t. Instead, I shake my head once. “No, just you,” I murmur.
She nods her head once, then slowly she falls in beside me and without hesitation. I should feel really fucking badly about this. It should feel wrong, but it doesn’t. I didn’t need my kids’ permission to do anything but somehow having their confirmation that I wasn’t a shit father has made me regroup and refocus.
Granted, I don’t think that I ever lost focus of Tennessee, I just pushed thoughts, desires, images of her to the side and attempted to forget them. Attempted to pretend that they didn’t exist, that she didn’t exist in an effort to save us a helluva lot of headaches.
Reaching the back corner, I lift my hand and reach for the keypad of the private elevator. Nobody can get in here without the code and the only people who have it are Julie and Laurent.
Julie has been told that she may leave for the day and Laurent never works past two on a Friday. We’ll be alone, completely undisturbed. The door opens with a ding and I clear my throat as I press my palm against her back and push lightly.
Together we walk into the car. I push the only button in the car, watching the doors close, then impatiently wait as it rises to the top of the building. Then the doors slide open, Tennessee’s breath hitches next to me.
Glancing to her, I notice that she’s staring straight forward. The view is the same floor-to-ceiling window view as it is in my office, except in a completely open living room concept.
“Landry,” she exhales.
Stepping out of the elevator, I offer my palm to her. She slips hers inside and I begin to walk toward those windows. Her high heels click behind me on the marble flooring. When we arrive at the window, I try to see what she does.
It’s bright outside, the sun winking against the windows of the buildings all around us. “Why did you bring me here?” she asks.
Turning around, I take the warm teacup from her hand, turning and setting it on the side table next to the loveseat.
“I wanted to talk to you,” I say, repeating my words.
“About?”
I don’t speak right away. Closing my mouth, I press my lips together and watch her for a moment. Her big green eyes search mine and if I’m not mistaken, I see hope in them. So much hope. Maybe that’s what I want to see, though? Maybe it’s all just a mirage?
“What do you think of me?” I ask.
She blinks, her lips parting, then her cheeks tint pink and she turns back toward the window. She doesn’t speak right away and I think that she’s not going to. I feel like an old fool asking a question like
that. I don’t know how to speak to women anymore. The only ones that I’ve been with after Susan were one-night stands, nothing more.
“I’m not sure how to answer that. As a boss? I think you’re amazing. Too good to be true, really, and I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop.”
Clearing my throat, I turn toward the window to look out as well. Lacing my fingers together behind me, I rock back on my heels as I stare forward. “Not as a boss, Tennessee.”
“As…?”
“As more than a friend, as something more.”
There’s a long moment of silence. Too long. I’ve fucked this all up, I can feel it. Then, I sense her body turn and I do the same. We face one another, her green eyes big and her cheeks bright red. She takes a step closer to me, then another, until we’re practically touching.
“You’re still married, Landry,” she says. “I know you said you’ve been separated for years. But technically, you’re still married.”
“So this means?”
Her lips curve up into a small smile. “This means that we can’t do anything, not until it’s final. I just wouldn’t feel right about that.”
Lifting my hand, I cup her cheek, my thumb sliding across the apple of her cheek. “I want more from you, Tennessee. I shouldn’t.”
“Probably not. I shouldn’t either.”
“But you do?”
“I do,” she rasps. “I really do.”
Shifting my gaze from hers to the floor, I lift it back up to meet hers again. “I’m old enough to be your father.”
She hums before she lifts her hand, wrapping her fingers around my wrist. “Funny, I’ve never been attracted to anyone quite the way I am you. Your age doesn’t really mean much to me, at least not where my body is concerned.”
Without a second thought, I dip my chin and touch my mouth to hers. Sliding my tongue across the seam of her lips, she whimpers as they part and I invade her mouth. We both moan, the feeling of her warm mouth taking over my senses. She’s sweet and soft, and I imagine her body is as ready as mine is right now.
Hypocritically Yours: A Standalone Age-Gap Romance Page 10