When I’m finished, I slip back into the bedroom and change into something comfortable that isn’t panties and a white tank top with no bra. My blood heats again, and I touch my cheeks, feeling my warm skin, at the thought of Landry seeing me the way he did this morning.
I was a mess. A hot fucking mess. Clearing my throat, I open my bedroom door and attempt to save face as I make my way into the living room. It doesn’t take me very long, considering it’s only three steps from my bedroom door.
I’m not sure what I expected to see, but it wasn’t what I’m actually taking in. There, in the middle of my living room floor, in his nice dark washed jeans and polo shirt, sits Landry Astor, his legs crisscross, an oversized LEGO block in his hand.
Holden is sitting across from him, on his knees, placing his oversized block on top of their tower. Landry Astor is building block towers with my son. He took care of me when I was unable to take care of myself and he took care of Holden at the same time.
Tears well in my eyes at the sight, at the sensation of what this could mean. I didn’t want this, I never wanted this and that is mostly because I thought that this could never happen, not in a million years.
“How are you feeling?” Landry’s deep voice rumbles.
My entire body jerks slightly and I shift my gaze from Holden and his blocks to meet his. “A lot better. Still a little achy, but nowhere near what I was feeling earlier.”
“I’m glad.”
He averts his attention back to Holden, and I watch in awe as he continues to play with him. Every block that Holden picks up, Landry tells him what color it is, and Holden repeats it. Then they count how many are stacked in the tower before they add a new one.
I’ve never thought of doing that with Holden before. How have I never thought of it? I wonder what else I’m not doing that’s fucking him up? I’m immediately filled with anxiety and panic at the thought of not being a good mother.
“Sit, Tennessee,” Landry demands, his voice soft but his tone no-nonsense.
My feet carry me over to the sofa and I sit down without even thinking about it. Landry leans back against the couch, his body pressing slightly against my calf. “What’s wrong? You were looking okay, then you got really pale,” he murmurs.
“You’re teaching him,” I whisper as my teeth sink into my bottom lip.
“I’m teaching him?”
Nodding, I shift my gaze from Holden to Landry. His head is turned slightly as he looks over at me, his face showing his confusion clearly.
“His numbers, his colors. I’ve never thought about that with blocks before. I’m really not good at this stuff.”
Landry’s lips turn up into a full-blown smile before he starts to laugh. “Tennessee,” he says between his chuckles. “I didn’t do this with the boys at all. You learn as you parent. You won’t get everything perfect the first try. That’s okay, you just do the best that you can. And I can tell you’re doing wonderfully with him. He’s smart and kind, that’s all we need to be in this world, honey.”
“Landry,” I rasp.
His words. They’re too nice. He’s too nice. I open my mouth to say something, but he lifts his hand, wrapping it around my calf and squeezes reassuringly. My lips snapped closed and my breath hitches.
Holden and Landry play for a few more moments, then Holden stands and makes his way over to me. Without a word, he crawls into my lap and lays his head on my chest. He’s warm and cuddly, his little arms wrapping around my neck.
Touching my lips to the top of his head, I shift my gaze over to Landry. He’s watching us with an unreadable expression on his face.
“Better, Mama?” Holden asks.
“Yes. I’m all better,” I murmur, my eyes never breaking from Landry’s intense gaze.
He clears his throat, then he surprises the absolute hell out of me. “This is what I screwed up on as a parent,” he announces.
“What?”
Landry continues to hold my eyes, never looking away from me as he pauses for a moment before he speaks again.
“Finding a mother like you for them. Susan isn’t what you would call warm, caring, or loving. So, you see, my children never had a mother that would hold them, kiss them, fix their scraped knees. She didn’t carry snacks in her bag in case they got hungry and we were out. I would call that a much bigger fuck-up than not teaching him his colors while you actively play with him.”
Tears fill my eyes. I don’t know what to say. If there is anything to say, but I wish that I could say something to comfort him. I can’t. I don’t know his children, not really. What I’ve seen, it seems they’re protective of him, and Laurent is a pig, but that’s for a different reason, I’m sure.
“Dinner?” he asks, changing the subject.
“Dinner? How long was I asleep?”
He chuckles as he pushes up off of the ground. “Ten hours.”
“Ten hours?” I gasp.
Landry’s lips turn up into a twitch of a smile. “Yeah, honey. You needed your sleep. Holden and I just played, hung out, he took a nap on the sofa there after lunch, but we just waited for you, kept quiet so you could rest.”
Those tears that filled my eyes, they fall.
He took care of me, really took care of me. I should not have allowed any of this to happen, but I did, and it did. I’m not sure that I would want to change it, either and that scares the absolute shit out of me.
LANDRY
The bell rings when the delivery shows up with our dinner. Tennessee may not have wanted to admit that she wanted Italian, but the way her eyes lit up when I offered to order some, told me everything that I needed to know.
Answering the door, I tip the driver and take the bags from his hand with a thanks. Closing the door behind me, I flip the deadbolt and head toward the small table. It’s only a four-seat table and chairs, but it’s just enough for the three of us.
Tennessee is setting the table with two ceramic plates and a plastic one for Holden. She’s stripped his shirt off and he’s sitting with his little fork in his hand, ready to eat. I watch as he licks his lips as he looks at the bag, then lifts his green eyes up to meet my own.
“Meatballs. Bread.”
His words are simple, and I feel the same way. Meatballs and bread are the best. Tennessee tries to hide her smile as she scolds him to use the words please and thank you. If he could roll his eyes, I think that he just might, but he doesn’t. Instead he says pwease.
Tennessee helps me unbag the items and then she puts three meatballs on his plate, cutting them into pieces before she takes some of the fresh soft bread and tears that into chunks and places them on his plate as well, adding a little marinara sauce to the side.
“He doesn’t like his food to mix. I can’t even get mad, because I’m the same way,” she announces.
Smiling, I watch as she makes her plate. She ordered lasagna for herself, with a side salad. Food. Who would have thought that watching a woman eat would give me pleasure? But it does. I don’t think I have seen Susan consume an actual meal since Lucinda was born.
I ordered myself penne pasta with a garlic olive oil pesto and grilled chicken breast. It’s boring, I know. Once we’re all settled, we start to dig in. Holden asks for more meatballs and Tennessee gives him one more. It seems to be exactly what he wanted because as soon as he finishes, he asks for milk.
Tennessee starts to stand, but I hold up my hand and rise to my feet. I get him a small plastic cup of milk and bring it back, then return to my seat.
“I don’t know how I’m going to repay you for today,” Tennessee says after a long moment of silence.
“Repay me?” I ask.
She nods her head, taking a bite of her lasagna. I watch as she chews, then swallows the food. I can’t help but imagine if she would swallow me, too? Would her throat work my cum down the same way she’s doing with her food? I’ll just have to imagine because I’m pretty sure I can’t think of an angle where I could actually see that.
“For eve
rything you’ve done today. I don’t know how you knew that we needed you, but you did, and you took care of us both.”
Reaching across the table, I cover her hand with my own. “I don’t know. I just needed to see you. Then when Holden answered, I knew something was wrong. I’m here for you, always, if you need me, Tennessee. All you have to do is call me.”
“Are you?” she asks softly.
I hum. “Yeah, I am. It’s hypocritical of me considering my situation. You said you didn’t want to date a married man. I shouldn’t be pursuing you because of my marital status, but I can’t help myself. I can’t stop myself, no matter how many times I have tried.”
“And you have, tried, that is?” she asks.
I let out a humorless laugh. “More often than you know. Every second of every day around you is a testament to my willpower.”
She hums, lifting her glass of water to her lips and taking a drink. I try not to watch how it travels down her throat, but I fail, once again. She sets the glass down, then turns to Holden and wipes his face and hands with a napkin.
“Go ahead and play with your cars for just a minute before bath time, okay?”
“Yay,” Holden cheers as he scrambles down and runs off to the living room that is only a few feet away.
“You’re not a hypocrite, Landry,” she announces.
I snort. “Yeah, I am. The whole reason I left my wife is because I couldn’t handle her blatant cheating. I was with people discretely here and there. One-night stands when I had to go out of town for business, but never here, never publicly.”
“But?”
Shaking my head, I inhale a deep breath. “I want more with you. You’re young enough to be my daughter, your son is young enough that he could be my grandson, but it doesn’t matter.”
“For you, is this only physical? I have to ask.”
I don’t even have to think about her words. The truth is plain as day. The answer starts to come out of my mouth before she even finishes asking the question completely.
“No. Is being physically attracted to you part of why I want to be with you? Yes. Is it the only reason? Absolutely not.”
“I just had to hear it again before I said what I was going to say next. And I hope you believe me when I say that I have never, not ever asked anyone this before.”
I hum, curious as to what she’s going to ask me.
“Stay the night with me, Landry.”
Chapter Seventeen
LANDRY
I don’t respond to Tennessee immediately. She doesn’t really let me either. Instead, she practically bolts from the table after asking me to stay and starts to clean up dinner. I try to help, but she won’t let me. Then she takes Holden into the bathroom to bathe him.
Standing, I look out her living room window at the street below. I start thinking about the traffic, how heavy it is or isn’t for a Saturday, avoiding even thinking about her question. I don’t know how long I stand at that window. The sun begins to set, and then I feel Tennessee’s hand touch my arm.
Turning my head, I tilt my chin to look down at her. She doesn’t say anything right away, instead, she lifts her hand and wraps her fingers around the side of my neck. It’s her first move and her body trembles next to me.
Sliding my hand around her waist, I grip her tightly as I tug her closer against my chest. Dipping my chin, I touch my mouth against hers. “I shouldn’t stay. Holden…” My words trail off.
Holden is in the only bedroom in the apartment. It’s in this moment that I decide, if we’re going to really do this, her living situation has to change.
Tennessee shifts her face back and away from mine. She shakes her head once. “We share a room. Yeah, I thought that could be a problem.” I watch as she sinks her teeth into her bottom lip and her gaze flicks over to the sofa, then back to me.
“We can watch a movie, maybe? It’s still early.”
She sounds hopeful and although movies aren’t really my thing, if I went home, I would probably just sit around and pine after her like a lovesick teenager. So, a movie, with her body pressed up against mine sounds a hell of a lot better.
“A movie, then.” I grin.
Her lips curve up into a smile and she lets out a sigh. “Okay.” Her hand falls from my neck, and her fingers lace with mine as we turn and make our way over to the sofa.
Sinking down onto the couch, I get this feeling in my stomach, butterflies. I can’t remember the last time I felt this way. Like a lovesick fool. I’m not even sure I felt this with Susan. Our relationship was one that just happened. We were young and in lust, but I never felt… nervous around her the way I do with Tennessee.
Tennessee brings her legs up, her feet resting on the cushion of the sofa, her body pressed against my side. Lifting my arm, I rest it on the back of the couch. I have never felt more like a teenager than I do in this moment. I halfway expect her mother to round the corner at any given moment.
It doesn’t take us long to pick a movie. Thankfully, she doesn’t suggest any rom-coms or tear-jerker romances. Instead, she picks an action flick, something on the sci-fi side. Before the beginning credits even begin to roll, she curls to the side of me, placing her head on my shoulder and her arm around my middle.
Sliding my arm down from the back of the couch, I rest it across her and curl my fingers around her hip. Tennessee lets out a sigh and I swear to fuck my balls ache immediately. I shift in my seat slightly, careful not to move too much so that she doesn’t slide away from me.
The movie gets started, but I can’t think of anything other than how it would only take a few inches of her hand sliding down my side to reach my pants, then a few inches to the left and she’d be dangerously close to my hard-as-nails dick.
We continue to watch, until the sun sets. When the ending credits roll, she stands and turns to me. “I’ll be right back.”
Nodding my head once, I watch her disappear into her bedroom, no doubt checking on Holden. She returns a few moments later, her cheeks bright pink. I watch her make her way toward me, then without a word, she slowly lowers to her knees at my feet.
“Tennessee?” I ask.
She shakes her head once. “The door’s locked. I have the key,” she rasps.
Her hands lift and she starts to fumble with my belt. “You don’t…”
She clears her throat, her big green eyes finding mine from beneath her lashes. “Just let me, Landry.”
Nodding my head once, I let her. She unbuckles my belt, unbuttons my top button, then slowly slides my zipper down. Lifting my hips, she tugs my jeans and boxer briefs down to my knees. Her hands grip my thighs, then they slowly glide up my legs until she reaches my hips.
I open my mouth to tell her that she doesn’t have to do this. That’s not why I took her in my penthouse, that’s not why I came over here and helped today. But when she sticks her tongue out, flattening it before she licks the entire length of my shaft, the words get caught in my throat.
Her lips wrap around the head of my cock as she continues to look up at me through her lashes, then she begins to move down my dick. She moves up and down a few times, saliva sliding down my shaft before she lifts her hand and begins to stroke as she sucks me.
I groan, lifting my hips as she sucks me deep. Each stroke, she swallows more of me, her gaze never leaving mine. Lifting my hand, I cup the side of her cheek before I slide my fingers through the side of her hair, gathering it at the base of her head, then grip the strands.
She hums and I feel that shit vibrate throughout my entire body. “Tennessee,” I groan.
Her response is to hum again and I swear to fuck my balls draw up. I’m close, so fucking close. I grip her hair tighter, my hips shifting upward with each of her downstrokes. She starts to work me faster, sucking harder, and I tug her head back as I draw closer toward my climax.
She hums again and my eyes widen as I let out a moan and I come. She doesn’t stop, her movements slow down as she milks me, swallowing every fucking drop, he
r green eyes still on mine.
When my cock finally stops twitching, she sits back on her feet and I watch as she wipes the saliva and cum from her mouth with her finger before she sticks that finger between her lips and sucks it off.
“Fuck,” I grunt.
She smiles softly. Reaching down, I hitch my jeans back up my hips before I slide my hands beneath her armpits and pull her to her feet, then guide her over to me. She sits down on my thigh, wrapping her arms around my neck.
Lifting my hand, I use the pad of my thumb to trace her plump and swollen bottom lip. “You didn’t. Nobody has ever…”
She leans down. “I’ve never swallowed before either, but I wanted to.”
Cupping the back of her head, I pull her head down closer to mine. Touching my mouth to hers, I slide my tongue along her bottom lip. She opens for me, freely. Sliding my tongue inside of her, I taste her, all of her. She sighs, her body relaxing as she falls closer to me.
Breaking the kiss, I nibble her bottom lip. She rests her forehead against mine and we both breathe.
“You’re getting a bigger place,” I announce.
She jerks her head up, looking down at me, a mixture of shock and anger clearly on her face. “What?” she hisses.
My lips curve up into a small smile. “In this building, there is probably a two-bedroom. I’ll make up the difference. But we can’t share a bed with Holden in the same room. And you can’t stay the night at the penthouse every night, or my new place.”
“Landry,” she whispers. “I can’t. There’s no way.”
“Why?”
She presses her lips together, watching me for a moment. “I want to stay here.”
Moving my hand from the back of her head, I tuck some hair behind her ear, and wrap my fingers around the side of her throat. She’s serious, she’s firm and as much as I want to bulldoze over her, I won’t.
Hypocritically Yours: A Standalone Age-Gap Romance Page 12