Delete-Man: A Psychological Thriller

by Johnny Vineaux

  When she finally got up she was a little cranky, yet her face showed the glow of a comfortable warmth. I fixed some coffee and put some bread in the toaster while she tidied up the clothes and got dressed. We drank in silence at the kitchen table.

  “It’s nearly half-seven, I’ll go wake Vicky. Might take us a while to get to school. Rush hour and all.”

  “Sure.”

  “By the way, do you have plans for Saturday?”

  “Depends. Why?”

  “I’m taking Vicky to the zoo. She asked me to ask you.”

  Monika rubbed her cheek, not yet awake enough to think fully.

  “I’ll check and get back to you.”

  I woke Vicky up and waited for her to shower and dress. She seemed rather quiet, and when I recalled the events of the previous night I decided to talk with her properly when I had the chance. I joked around with her as we left, raising a few giggles. I even brought up the Christmas play, and with a slight sense of shyness she told me more about it. I dropped her off at the gates and went home feeling a sensation of calm.

  As I approached my building I saw the blue saloon. I studied it as inconspicuously as I could: Buzzcut wasn’t inside. I looked around in case he was standing nearby but the area seemed fairly empty. The dark, damp sky promised rain ominously. After walking around the block, checking in the shops and down the alleyways, I found Buzzcut in a nearby fast food restaurant. He was ordering what looked like food for four people. He shoved a handful of straws, napkins, and sachets into two big, brown, paper bags and turned to leave. I pressed myself up against a doorway beside the restaurant. He left hurriedly and headed back to the car. I saw that he was even larger than I had previously thought. He walked with the demeanour of someone in the military, focused and stiff. I waited for a while, and then walked back myself. As I passed through the car park I saw him in the corner of my eye, shoving the bags down into the foot well of the passenger side. I looked away just before he turned his head towards me.

  The second I got home I realised how hungry I was and ate almost half a box of cereal with fruit. I gathered up clothes from around the house and shoved them into the washing machine. The light on the answering machine was on, and I clicked to play the message as I took down the bedsheet I had hung out on the balcony the day before. There was a long one from Monika, explaining that she was going to pick up Vicky from school and telling me not to worry and call her as soon as I heard it. Still nothing from Bianca. I picked up the phone and dialled her number again. It went through to the answering machine.

  “Hey Bianca. It’s Joseph—Josephine’s boyfriend. I don’t know why you haven’t got back to me, maybe you forgot, but it’s very important you call me back. I’ve found out a lot of stuff and I’m pretty sure now that there was more to Josephine’s death. I really need your help to figure it all out. I got your address from someone. I’ll come by soon if I don’t hear from you. In case you’ve lost your phone or something. Ok then, bye.”

  I put the phone down and held it there for a second, wondering why she hadn’t called me back. A wave of doubt about calling her again and telling her I had her address passed over me. I remembered the earnest way she spoke to me and put it out of my mind.

  After working out for nearly an hour, showering, and then tidying up the house a little, I settled at the computer. Karim had sent me an email with photos of his brother. The resemblance was there, but Abdi looked a lot more well-groomed. He had a flashy haircut and was subtly posing in most of the pictures.

  I began reading old emails from Josie. At first I tried reading between the lines of those brief exchanges—we had always preferred talking on the phone—but I soon lost myself in them. Ages passed as I remembered the times and circumstances of each, almost imagining that time had gone backwards, and I was once again reading them for the first time except I now knew how every conversation turned out. I knew that every argument ended with us becoming closer, that every tentative exploration into each other was rewarded. I began looking at old photographs of her. I didn’t have many, I had never liked cameras, but I flicked between my favourites, gazing at them for what seemed like hours, and almost seeing them move.

  When the phone rang it startled me, piercing the trance-like state as if it were a hundred decibels loud. I closed everything on the computer hurriedly, as if caught and embarrassed.

  “Hello?”

  “Joseph. It’s me.”

  “Hey Monika. What’s wrong?”

  “We’ve got to talk.”

  “About what?”

  “About what happened.”

  “What?”

  “Last night.”

  I could hear her breathing heavily on the line. She sounded nervous.

  “Forget about it.”

  “I can’t. I didn’t even go into work because I feel so bad. We shouldn’t have done that.”

  Her breathing sharpened. She tried starting another sentence but broke down.

  “I told you, forget about it. Go into work, and don’t think about it. It means nothing. It was nothing.”

  “We shouldn’t have done it. Any of it.”

  “Monika?”

  “Yes?”

  “Go to work.”

  I waited a few seconds for her to reply, and when she didn’t I put the phone down.

  Chapter 12

  The sound of a screeching woman woke me up. It was a sound that had always made my skin crawl. I opened my eyes to the TV showing an awful interior decoration show. I fumbled around the couch for the remote and flicked it over to something quieter. Around me were strewn sheets of paper that I had written on. I glanced at a few, reminding myself of what I’d written; they were notes, much like those I had taken the day before, random sentences I had hoped to piece together on paper. I realised that I hadn’t come up with any particular insight, and instead just written what I knew already multiple times in various ways.

  It was raining heavily. I heard it fall violently against the windows like pellets. I opened the door to the balcony to take down the bedsheet I had hung there, and looked out. Behind the grey showers I made out the blue saloon, still in the same spot. The temperature was falling rapidly. I turned the heater up a little, took the washing out of the machine and draped it over a clothes rack in the living room, then put an extra duvet in Vicky’s floral-patterned bedcover.

  It was coming up to home time when I was done, and I decided that I would stay at home with Vicky after picking her up. I threw away the papers apart from one that contained the numbers and addresses I had accumulated, which I folded and placed in the pocket of my coat. I took out a whole chicken from the freezer and put it in some warm water to defrost.

  Perhaps it was the nap, or the night with Monika, but I felt in some way refreshed. My emotions had been reset, and I felt I could think clearly. As I chopped up some herbs and took some potatoes out for Vicky to peel, I laid things out in my mind. I played back all the events from the past few weeks in detail. Then I came up with a plan for what I would do the next few days, and what gaps needed filling.

  I dropped the knife with a clatter. It fell to the floor just missing my foot, but I didn’t care. It was such an obvious thing and I had completely ignored it all this time. Josephine was writing a book; where was the book? I smacked my hand against my head, forgetting about my bruise, but not even the shock of pain deterred me from fully recognising my own stupidity. The book had to contain everything. If not the book, then the notes she must have taken. It might not name the killer, but it would no doubt reveal the people Josie had been meeting, the reason she had been doing the things she had. It would tell me everything I needed to know in order to find him.

  I paced around the apartment briskly, rubbing my bruise and wracking my brain. The book had to have been written on her laptop; Josie had handwriting so bad even she couldn’t read it. She always wrote on that laptop, the white one with a sticker on the back of the screen—some cute Japanese cartoon character. There was nowhere el
se the book could be but on that computer.

  Monika was the only one who could help me. I reached for the phone and stopped myself. She would still be feeling emotional, and a phone call from me would turn into an unnecessary conversation for sure. Perhaps the laptop was in her house, in her room. I cursed myself, I had just spent the night there and not even thought about asking her if she had Josie’s stuff.

  “What an idiot you are, Joseph. Grade A idiot.”

  I grabbed my coat, I had to go and get that computer. I was putting on my shoes when I stopped myself again. The herbs on the counter, the chicken defrosting, the video rental shop card I had placed on the table as a reminder. I checked the time—fifteen minutes before I was supposed to leave to pick Vicky up.

  “Patience, Joseph. Patience, patience, patience.”

  With a huge amount of reluctance I kicked my shoes off and went back to the kitchen to wash the knife and finish chopping the herbs.

  The film was awful, but Vicky seemed to love it. I feigned interest for as long as I could, but eventually deferred to simple hums of agreement. Vicky was so enthused she didn’t seem to notice, and I was so engrossed in my own thoughts anyway that I didn’t mind trying sitting through it.

  “She was in another film.”

  “Was she?”

  “She played a wife.”

  “Nice.”

  I felt bloated from all the food, not least the rich chocolate cake we had picked up on the way home. I sipped a little coke and felt the sugar buzz around my body.

  “Can you buy me a dress like that?”

  “What dress? That one?”

  “No way! That’s ugly. The other girl’s. Wait. Oh, they’re not showing it now.”

  I had lost track of the plot during the second long dialogue scene between the main characters: Two children who had discovered some sort of magic necklace. I began thinking about the laptop. I checked the time. If I called I would probably catch Monika at home. I thought about it but I knew it would disrupt Vicky’s enjoyment. Half the fun for her was pointing things out to me and hearing my appreciation.

  “Do you think that’s cute?”

  “Sure.”

  “I don’t. It’s icky. Why’d she have to like him?”

  I began gathering up the plates and cutlery to put them in the kitchen sink.

  “Shhh!”

  “Sorry.”

  After another ten minutes I still couldn’t force any interest in the movie. I began feeling a little trapped and started fidgeting. I grabbed the remote and clicked the menu button to see how long there was to go.

  “Hey! Stop it!”

  “Just checking something. Ok, done. Sorry.”

  The film drew to a close, Vicky was silent for the last scenes. I looked at her to see why, and noticed that her eyes were blinking and her mouth pouting in a way she only did when she was trying not to cry. I hadn’t seen the expression in a long time and it startled me.

  “You alright, Vee?”

  “Yep.”

  “Aw, come here.”

  I put my arm around her and rubbed her as we saw the bloopers on credits. She giggled through her tears at a couple.

  “So you liked the movie then?”

  “Yeah, it was awesome.”

  “Good.”

  “Can we watch it again?”

  “Um…”

  “Please? Please, please, please.”

  “I’m not sure. It’s already pretty late.”

  “Tomorrow then? Before you bring it back.”

  It was inevitable I would have to watch the film again. I checked the time. Vicky would probably fall asleep of her own accord soon.

  “Sure, we’ll watch it now then. Just give me a few minutes to do some things, ok?”

  I got up and walked over to the phone.

  “Be a good girl though and clean up. Actually, put some food in a container. I’ll take some down to Sandy.”

  “Who are you calling?”

  “Monika.”

  She ran towards me.

  “Let me talk to her!”

  “Ok, ok. But go wash those plates first.”

  After a few button pushes I figured out which call had come from Monika’s mobile and dialled back. After a long wait she picked up.

  “Hello?”

  “Hey Monika. It’s Joseph.”

  “Hey Monika!”

  “She can’t hear you from over there Vee.”

  “Joseph, I’m glad you finally called.”

  “Did you go to work today?”

  “I went in for a few hours, but I couldn’t really work.”

  “Ask her if she’s coming to the zoo!”

  “Wash those dishes properly, Vicky. Don’t just rinse them so you can finish quickly.”

  “How’s Vicky?”

  “She’s great, we just watched a film.”

  “Sounds nice.”

  “Yeah. Look, I need to ask you something.”

  “You sure you can talk now?”

  “What? No, not about that. I was wondering today if you had Josie’s laptop.”

  “Laptop?”

  “Yeah, the white one with a sticker on it. You must know it.”

  “Oh, her laptop…”

  “You know it?”

  “Yeah.”

  “So?”

  “What?”

  “Do you have it?”

  “No, of course not. Her mother took all of her stuff.”

  “Damn.”

  “Wait—that’s what you called for?”

  “Yeah.”

  “And the zoo!”

  “Oh yeah, are you coming to the zoo with us on Saturday?”

  “Joseph…”

  “Do you think you could get it from her mum? Tell her something about it having some work of yours saved on it perhaps?”

  “Joseph, wait…”

  “Is she coming? Beg her! Please!”

  “Enough Vicky! We’re talking. When you’re done with the dishes you can beg her yourself.”

  “I can’t get involved in all this, Joseph. This has already gotten too weird.”

  “You’re not involved, Monika. You’re just helping me out with something.”

  “That’s what I mean. Why should I help you?”

  “What do you mean?”

  “I mean just that. Why should I help you? Why am I helping you?”

  “What are you talking about?”

  “Just tell me. Why should I help you? What’s in it for me? Why did last night happen? I just want to know where I stand.”

  “I don’t like where this conversation is going.”

  “You don’t.”

  “No.”

  “Hmm. Well I want to know still.”

  “I don’t understand. You going to get me the laptop or not?”

  “You were so rude to me this morning. I haven’t been able to get it out of my head all day.”

  “I told you, forget about it. It meant nothing. It just happened.”

  “I see.”

  “What do you see?

  “I see that you took advantage of me.”

  Vicky ran towards me and reached for the phone. I spun away from her.

  “Took advantage of you? Are you crazy?”

  “No, that’s exactly what you did.”

  “Why are you being such a bitch all of a sudden?”

  “I’m a bitch now, am I?”

  “Yes, you’re being a bitch.”

  “Bye Joseph.”

  “Fuck you. I’ll get the laptop myself.”

  “Bye.”

  I slammed the phone down and turned around. Vicky was looking at me with wide eyes.

  “Is she coming?”

  “No.”

  I went to the fridge and pulled out a beer.

  “Why not? Why did you argue?”

  “Monika’s crazy. I told you.”

  I walked over to the balcony and opened the door. The rain had stopped, leaving a cold, sharp breeze. I stepped out onto
the wet concrete and sipped beer. Vicky walked up behind me slowly and looked at me.

  “Go inside, Vee. You’ll get a cold out here.”

  She looked at me for a few seconds, a look that made me want to burst into tears. She turned inside and I hated. I sucked the beer down violently and when there was no more to drink I threw the can as hard as I could at the blue saloon. The wind carried it far off target. I leaned over the railing. The can hit the ground and rolled in circles in the breeze.

  We didn’t watch the film again. Vicky and I barely spoke for the whole evening. I was angry and she saw it. She made a few attempts to laugh with me but I just needed to be alone. I tried to make her feel everything was ok, holding her a little before I kissed her good night affectionately, but there was a vast coldness between us.

  I went to bed feeling tense and frustrated. It took all my willpower not to throw my stuff around the room. I glared at the ceiling, more awake than I had been all day. The conversation with Monika swirled around in my mind, winding me up even further. I cursed quietly.

  There was no way I was going to be able to sleep. After an hour of passing time in my room I thought about calling Jack. Despite really wanting to get out of the house and do something, I decided against it: Partly because it was late, partly because I hated him now. Even though we had worked together for years, and hung out a lot outside of work too, I had never really liked him. I had confided things to him which he had reacted to with a smirk. When I realised that deep down he felt in some way superior to me, I distanced myself from him—from people in general I suppose. Nowadays he only called me when he couldn’t find anyone else to go drinking with. I only went because I rarely went out drinking at all anymore.

  I opened Vicky’s door slowly and crept inside. I told myself I was checking she was asleep, but I sat by her bed and looked at her for a while. My eyes got wet. I felt pathetic and weak. I hated that I was being sentimental, and I despised myself when I realised that I was feeling lonely. I wanted to be strong, not least for Vicky, and ridiculed myself for coming into her room as she slept like a toddler after a nightmare. I lay beside her on the bed and gently stroked her hair.

  “Joseph, I got you a present.”

  “Yeah?”