A Jackdaw Sings

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A Jackdaw Sings Page 5

by Jim O'Leary


  TALKING TO MYSELF

  Mumbling

  Muttering

  Madness

  On a trip

  With me

  In talk

  Alone,

  the world around

  alive with action

  circles my space

  and intrudes

  at the fence

  of my conversation

  me with me

  alone;

  But space

  engorged

  abusing space

  with noise,

  a harshness-crowding,

  must not breach

  that tender fence

  that holds

  the safety

  of my private

  word with me,

  my talk

  with me

  alone.......

  .......more space is needed!

  LOST IN THE SADNESS

  An urge of instinct

  Swelled through the dark

  As heart and soul begged

  For a soft response

  To an earnest cry

  not seen or heard

  but long foretold

  in a home embrace;

  Bright and airy

  With the positives

  Of every choice,

  No real signal shone

  To warn of gloom

  But doom and death,

  Begged as relief,

  Were on the way;

  How are you, friend,

  Was, or so it seemed,

  A perfect question

  And the answer always,

  The same and satisfying,

  Was good enough,

  That is until

  The bad news came

  and my friend was no more;

  Could I do more

  You ask in disbelief

  And was I listening

  Or was he hiding something,

  Was it him

  Or was it me?

  The answer never comes

  Because he’s gone

  And more will go that way

  But me, I will remember.

  TANGLE

  A tangled mind-trip

  In a savage-jungled mood

  Spent the aged energy

  Of a fast-evaporation,

  Of an expiry-promise

  Engraved from the birthing place,...

  .....Inevitably,

  The end must come!

  And come it will

  Despite the fight,

  The stricken-powered

  Angst for more,

  And it will win

  To take the fighter home

  But where is home

  Or where will he move to

  When he goes over,

  Will he live again?

  Never fearing,

  He spent his early days

  In a will-borne drive

  For earthly joy,

  For pleasure

  Beyond bounds,

  But, later in decline,

  He looked with conscience

  To the skies

  For hope of saving,.....

  .....Is that the way

  That it must be

  Or is there, somewhere,

  Another place to be?

  The question remains

  A dillema

  For every human being

  Where ever he comes from!

  THE END IS ME

  In the mind of it,

  That wet dank place of it,

  The desolation seeps

  Like a bog-borne sump;

  Sun may shine,

  The fresh wind

  Might lighten fog

  But a dark embrace

  Of a now desire

  Will not let go,

  the mind is bent

  on its escape;

  Shadows look

  for a level crossing,

  a way to leave in peace

  or find the peace of leaving

  but a sprinkle-shower comes

  in time for further thought;

  Why now

  And why not later if at all;

  A world still waits

  To find a way to go,

  Or not to go if going

  Will let a mind remain

  In place with peace,

  And the shower,

  A sympathy intrusion,

  Saves, for now or maybe

  For at least another day,

  A life or two because

  that’s all there is to be;

  Life was there before

  But life is there no more

  my friends;

  The world is over now

  For now at least.

  TIPPING ALONG

  Morning breaks

  But days get dark,

  Despite the Sun's

  Endeavours;

  Empty reaches

  of the mind

  Yield uninvited

  demon-thoughts;

  Sure as hell

  A lassitude,

  Wished for

  Or not,

  Claws through

  From toe to head;

  Effort is needed,

  Not inclined,

  To fan some spark,

  At least an ember

  But none will show

  In the current

  Shadow-world,

  The now-today

  Is not the place to be

  So where to Now?

  TABLET EXPRESS

  Coyote-tablets ambushed

  A softened brain

  Embedded in the bogland

  Of a work-engaged stress,

  The well-worn path

  From day to day,

  A cess-pool of endeavour

  In a thankless world,

  And the pressure took it's toll,

  Not once but twice

  In a medicated 'dream',

  The world ended and began again

  That second 'fatal' try for peace.

  GUARDIAN ANGEL

  A cold gloom hovered over me,

  Shadowing everyone, the world;

  It penetrated my soul

  And I couldn’t find a way

  Through the haze

  Of lonely-reaching;

  Each cry, a siren-sound from hell,

  Pressed me to the brink

  And I resisted

  But with weakening resolve

  Looked over the edge

  To a comfort-cushion in the flow

  And I wanted freedom then;

  Despite the conflict in my mind

  A magnet-mood

  Was drawing me enchanted

  To a womb-like stream;

  Clutching the rail and climbing

  I felt the ecstacy envelop me

  And I was well and feeling better

  And no tomorrow could be today,

  This moment, or this sense of peace

  And the river-bed was swathed

  In a spreadlike sheen

  Held out, it seemed, for me;

  Why wait,

  That thought was pressing

  Compelling my mind

  To a final trip,

  The end of misery,

  Of everything,

  The end of songs and silence,

  Yet I waited,

  Something drawing me back;

  But no one’s there

  Or so it seems

  And, yet, I feel an energy

  Holding me, taking me

  Back to before now

  Before the pain

  To the beginning;

  Then I know

  That now, for now,

  Is better

  So I will wait

  And will not try again

  Tonight.

  TO SLEEP AND BACK

  Nice to see you

  Again in waking

  Coming back

  To the world

  A misery

  You tried


  To leave behind

  Welcome back

  To the emptiness

  You sought to leave;

  Night provided cover

  For your trip-attempt,

  The dose-embracing

  Batch of packet-pills,

  Your clawing need

  To be asleep

  Away to an oblivion

  Where you could not see

  Or hear and where

  If all had done the job

  The world would let you free;

  Welcome back

  To see and hear

  A news of life,

  Not one of being

  Gone for good

  But being, doing

  For the person that is you

  And not for them;

  Welcome with good luck

  To a new world,

  The first day's life of you

  And hearty greetings,

  Well-wished thoughts,

  On your continuing

  Return home.

 

 

 


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