by Jim O'Leary
TALKING TO MYSELF
Mumbling
Muttering
Madness
On a trip
With me
In talk
Alone,
the world around
alive with action
circles my space
and intrudes
at the fence
of my conversation
me with me
alone;
But space
engorged
abusing space
with noise,
a harshness-crowding,
must not breach
that tender fence
that holds
the safety
of my private
word with me,
my talk
with me
alone.......
.......more space is needed!
LOST IN THE SADNESS
An urge of instinct
Swelled through the dark
As heart and soul begged
For a soft response
To an earnest cry
not seen or heard
but long foretold
in a home embrace;
Bright and airy
With the positives
Of every choice,
No real signal shone
To warn of gloom
But doom and death,
Begged as relief,
Were on the way;
How are you, friend,
Was, or so it seemed,
A perfect question
And the answer always,
The same and satisfying,
Was good enough,
That is until
The bad news came
and my friend was no more;
Could I do more
You ask in disbelief
And was I listening
Or was he hiding something,
Was it him
Or was it me?
The answer never comes
Because he’s gone
And more will go that way
But me, I will remember.
TANGLE
A tangled mind-trip
In a savage-jungled mood
Spent the aged energy
Of a fast-evaporation,
Of an expiry-promise
Engraved from the birthing place,...
.....Inevitably,
The end must come!
And come it will
Despite the fight,
The stricken-powered
Angst for more,
And it will win
To take the fighter home
But where is home
Or where will he move to
When he goes over,
Will he live again?
Never fearing,
He spent his early days
In a will-borne drive
For earthly joy,
For pleasure
Beyond bounds,
But, later in decline,
He looked with conscience
To the skies
For hope of saving,.....
.....Is that the way
That it must be
Or is there, somewhere,
Another place to be?
The question remains
A dillema
For every human being
Where ever he comes from!
THE END IS ME
In the mind of it,
That wet dank place of it,
The desolation seeps
Like a bog-borne sump;
Sun may shine,
The fresh wind
Might lighten fog
But a dark embrace
Of a now desire
Will not let go,
the mind is bent
on its escape;
Shadows look
for a level crossing,
a way to leave in peace
or find the peace of leaving
but a sprinkle-shower comes
in time for further thought;
Why now
And why not later if at all;
A world still waits
To find a way to go,
Or not to go if going
Will let a mind remain
In place with peace,
And the shower,
A sympathy intrusion,
Saves, for now or maybe
For at least another day,
A life or two because
that’s all there is to be;
Life was there before
But life is there no more
my friends;
The world is over now
For now at least.
TIPPING ALONG
Morning breaks
But days get dark,
Despite the Sun's
Endeavours;
Empty reaches
of the mind
Yield uninvited
demon-thoughts;
Sure as hell
A lassitude,
Wished for
Or not,
Claws through
From toe to head;
Effort is needed,
Not inclined,
To fan some spark,
At least an ember
But none will show
In the current
Shadow-world,
The now-today
Is not the place to be
So where to Now?
TABLET EXPRESS
Coyote-tablets ambushed
A softened brain
Embedded in the bogland
Of a work-engaged stress,
The well-worn path
From day to day,
A cess-pool of endeavour
In a thankless world,
And the pressure took it's toll,
Not once but twice
In a medicated 'dream',
The world ended and began again
That second 'fatal' try for peace.
GUARDIAN ANGEL
A cold gloom hovered over me,
Shadowing everyone, the world;
It penetrated my soul
And I couldn’t find a way
Through the haze
Of lonely-reaching;
Each cry, a siren-sound from hell,
Pressed me to the brink
And I resisted
But with weakening resolve
Looked over the edge
To a comfort-cushion in the flow
And I wanted freedom then;
Despite the conflict in my mind
A magnet-mood
Was drawing me enchanted
To a womb-like stream;
Clutching the rail and climbing
I felt the ecstacy envelop me
And I was well and feeling better
And no tomorrow could be today,
This moment, or this sense of peace
And the river-bed was swathed
In a spreadlike sheen
Held out, it seemed, for me;
Why wait,
That thought was pressing
Compelling my mind
To a final trip,
The end of misery,
Of everything,
The end of songs and silence,
Yet I waited,
Something drawing me back;
But no one’s there
Or so it seems
And, yet, I feel an energy
Holding me, taking me
Back to before now
Before the pain
To the beginning;
Then I know
That now, for now,
Is better
So I will wait
And will not try again
Tonight.
TO SLEEP AND BACK
Nice to see you
Again in waking
Coming back
To the world
A misery
You tried
To leave behind
Welcome back
To the emptiness
You sought to leave;
Night provided cover
For your trip-attempt,
The dose-embracing
Batch of packet-pills,
Your clawing need
To be asleep
Away to an oblivion
Where you could not see
Or hear and where
If all had done the job
The world would let you free;
Welcome back
To see and hear
A news of life,
Not one of being
Gone for good
But being, doing
For the person that is you
And not for them;
Welcome with good luck
To a new world,
The first day's life of you
And hearty greetings,
Well-wished thoughts,
On your continuing
Return home.