Voice of Abandon

by Rae Lori

  Andrew’s body froze. She was here? He promptly held the phone up to his ear. “Danny, I’ll have to give you a call back.” Ignoring the small voice calling his name over the line, he ended the call as he grabbed his bags and followed the man to the exit.

  “Please, allow me.” The man reached over and took some of the bags off his shoulder before Andrew could protest.

  Feeling the pressure off his shoulder, Andrew breathed with relief and trailed behind the older man. He wondered how his small frame could easily carry the bags like a man twice his size. He pushed the thought out of his mind and made his way through the crowd.

  Julianna jumped forward once she spotted Andrew and Alfonso exiting the front. She forced herself to breathe as he approached and braced herself when the door opened.

  “Here he is, Your Highness.”

  “Thank you, Alfonso.” She waited for Alfonso to hold the door open for Andrew who quickly climbed in. He took the seat across from her and then turned to grab his bags which he placed on the floor beside him.

  Once the door closed, Julianna sat forward and fell into Andrew’s waiting arms. She hugged him and felt the warmth of his arms spread throughout her. His breath was soft on her ear and as she turned to face him, she was completely aware of his closeness to her. Neither of them noticed when the limo started up and began circling the area.

  “I couldn’t leave without…seeing you.” Saying goodbye. Why couldn’t bring herself to say it? Deep down she knew every cell within her was screaming that the time she had been waiting for had finally come.

  “It’s a good thing because I didn’t get your phone number.”

  Julianna leaned back. The expanse of his chest was inviting and she could easily see herself resting there, listening to his heartbeat like the previous night.

  “Julianna, I—”

  She lifted her gaze to match his.

  “Please don’t feel you have to carry the burden of the world on your shoulder, Julianna. I know you have a duty here and the last thing I want to do is tear you away from something you love. I sure don’t know about the politics of Welshire like you do. But I saw the look in your eyes. And a woman as kind-hearted and beautiful as you should know that there are people here for you. That, I’m sure, love you.”

  The way he said the word ‘love’ made her heart swell.

  “In time, I know your heart will heal.”

  The limo stopped to the empty side of the airport once again. Julianna couldn’t resist feeling her heart drop as she realized it was really time to say goodbye new. Andrew sat forward and reached for her hands which he wrapped within his. Soft. His pale hands were so soft and beautiful as she realized the magic that he created with them. Gently he lifted her chin to look up at him. Her heart nearly stopped beating as she realized he was a few inches away. “Never give up, Julianna. Never stop living. Frederick would have sure wanted that.”

  She didn’t want him to leave. There was still something there. She wasn’t sure what, but something had started and she wanted to know him better. Was it meant to be for him to travel? Would he really want a dull princess with duties and possible heartbreak?

  Andrew reached over and gently kissed her on each cheek. He paused mere inches away from her face, meeting her gaze once again.

  Julianna couldn’t move if she tried. She felt as if his attention on her froze her in place and made her the most important thing to him. His hand broke away from hers and gently caressed her cheek. She felt herself leaning in, closing the distance between them until his soft lips fell upon hers. His scent was intoxicating, a mix of his male scent and that of fresh clean soap as if he just stepped from the shower. Rain, he smelled of a fresh forest rain after a storm. She felt his tongue caress hers, his arm wrap around her body. This moment had to last. The feel of his lips gently massaging hers ignited a fire throughout her body. She wanted it to last forever. Deep down the previous night they shared never left them.

  “What if I came with you?” Julianna said. The moment the words left her lips, she felt relieved, as if a heavy weight left her heart.

  “I couldn’t take you away.”

  “You wouldn’t be. Before the concert I was thinking of moving. I guess I just needed a reason to start over fresh.”

  Andrew nodded. He placed his hand against her cheek and looked deep into her eyes.

  “Are you sure about this?”

  Julianna smiled. “I just need a bit of time to make the transition. Finish things up here.”

  Andrew nodded. “Of course. But make sure it’s what you want in your heart, Julianna. I want you to be comfortable.”

  She held her head up in a proud manner, feeling the renewed confidence flow through her. “I am.”

  She was excited at the prospects for their future. She had the chance to drastically change her current life and start making plans instead of living in the past. Now was the time to start living again. Holding her title here wasn’t right without Frederick. She knew that now for sure. His legacy would surely continue on with Phillip. Her time in Welshire was finished. On the drive over, there was a question whether or not she was ready and if this was the right thing to do. But now, looking at Andrew and feeling him close again, she knew this was the path she was meant to take.

  Moments passed before Andrew finally broke away as the sound of the door creaked open to their side. Andrew reached for his bags and turned to look at Julianna as he stood against the bright morning sun. A strand of hair swooped over his eye and the bright morning sun seemed to shine only upon him. He reached into his slacks pocket and pulled out a card which he handed to her. “Here’s my cell number if you need me. The New York concert will be next weekend. I would love it if you can accompany me.”

  Julianna reached out to the handle on the limo door and slid out from her seat. She wrapped her arms around him, hugging him tightly. Slowly she whispered her cell phone number in his ear. His chest reverberated with a deep laughter that seemed to pass straight to Julianna’s soul. In that moment, she couldn’t remember feeling more happy. She didn’t care if anyone saw her or if there were any flashes of camera that may have unsuspectingly snapped their photos. She loved Welshire, the royal family—her family—and all the people that inhabited the small country. But there were still things she had to before she could even begin to put the pieces of her life back together. Knowing Andrew was there as her friend, and possibly something more, warmed her heart.

  Andrew leaned back and placed a soft kiss on Julianna’s cheeks as he caressed them. He then reached down and took her hand, promptly placing a gently kiss on the back of her palm. “Until then, Princess.”

  “It’s not too long before that title will expire. Probably the next time you see me.”

  “It doesn’t matter,” Andrew said. A soft wind whipped the strands of his short hair. “You’ll always be one in my eyes.”

  Julianna watched as Andrew carried his bags back to the side terminal entrance way. A small hope fluttered in her heart and she found herself exhaling as Andrew turned at the entrance and looked at her once last time before leaving. A smile crossed his boyish face and he gave a small wave before disappearing behind the doors. Julianna felt this was the start of a new chapter in her life. Perhaps she was led here for a reason and the concert happened at the very same time she needed it. No matter the reason she arched her head up toward the sky and smiled.

  “Thank you, Frederick.”

  With that, the limo started and she rested her head on the back seat as she was escorted back to the castle with new hope living within her heart.

  As the low hum of the engine roared around her, she almost missed the soft ring of her cellphone. She peered at the small screen as the caller ID flashed before it. Phillip. She forgot all about him. What would she tell him?

  Clicking the answer button, she threw back her hair from her shoulder and placed it against her ear. “Phillip, hello.”

  “I must have just missed you.”

 
“Yes, I –uh- had to make a run.”

  “Are you headed back home?”

  “Yes, I should be there in a few hours.”

  “A few hours? Taking a short holiday?”

  She chuckled. “No, I had to see a friend off.”

  “Andrew Graham.”

  Julianna felt her stomach flip-flop but she wasn’t sure if it was because of the sound of Andrew’s name and how he made her feel or the nervous disappointment in Phillip’s low voice. “Yes,” she finally said.

  “I suppose you haven’t thought about what we spoke about. I know I was coming on too strong but I do care about you. I have for a long time but Frederick was the more fortunate of us both. My proposal still stands. I want to take care of you. If you’ll let me.”

  Julianna fell silent. She did think about what he proposed but the truth was she knew she’d be going with her head rather than her heart. Her heart wanted another person. One she hadn’t known as long as Phillip but whose very soul had touched her with each note he played through the beauty of his music. She thought about how his lips felt upon hers and how right it felt to be with him. She followed her heart once with Frederick and of course she lost him. She could very well lose again, putting her heart on the line, but that was a chance she was willing to take.

  “Phillip….”

  “Yes?”

  “I…I’m sorry. I can’t.”

  “Julianna.” Phillip sighed heavily. “Why?”

  “You deserve someone who loves you and will make you happy. Not your brother’s widow and certainly not someone who will continue to see your brother and all that she lost. It wouldn’t be fair to stay with you because I wouldn’t be giving my whole heart. In a way instead of moving forward, I would be staying in the past. I’m not the one for you.”

  A low chuckle slipped over the line. “A woman who had my heart since I can remember. For me you are the right one, Julianna. But I know if I can’t make you happy, I can only step aside and wish you find that happiness you deserve. I know it’s unfair and somewhat wrong to say, but I’ve loved you the moment I saw you. I think Frederick somehow knew. I just couldn’t hold it in any longer with another day going by. Every woman I meet doesn’t seem to compare to the very woman I knew I couldn’t have.”

  A shuffle occurred over the line. Julianna wasn’t sure what to say or do. Before she could respond, she heard him once again.

  “I hope one day I can meet someone half as lovely as you. My brother always gets the best.”

  She chuckled. “I’ll remind you of that when I attend your wedding in the future.”

  Once she ended the call with Phillip, she immediately dialed another number. Her mind was completely made up and it was time to move on with what was in her heart.

  “Julianna, I was just finishing adding your number to my phone book before they flashed the no phone sign.”

  “You remembered?”

  “Of course. It’s all I was thinking about until I could stand still enough to type it in my phone correctly. Are you on your way home?”

  Julianna peered up at the countryside passing by outside the limo window. “ Yep. I should be there in no time. I just wanted to know what time you’ll be arriving in New York.”

  She could almost feel Andrew smiling on the other line. It was infectious. “Probably in a few days. Why?”

  Julianna folded her free arm around her torso. “What if I told you I’ll meet you there? I’ll be watching from the audience as you take center stage.”

  He laughed deeply. “I’d say I’m looking forward to it, Princess. The first set will be dedicated to you and I hoped you would be watching from the back stage.”

  Julianna smiled, feeling a flutter of excitement as the clouds in her heart had finally slipped away. “Well then, I promise I won’t be late.”

  Epilogue

  The concert was filled from wall to wall. Not a seat remained open as the sounds of the orchestra floated in the air. Andrew Graham’s violin fell above the soft background sounds to accompany the orchestra with his rendition of Sergei Rachmaninoff’s Vocalise. Moments ago he surveyed each row of seats in front of him to find the one person to which he dedicated his music.

  But she wasn’t there.

  Upon arriving back home in the states, he checked the news to find any releases of Julianna leaving Welshire. The only mention he saw was the crown passed on to Frederick’s brother, Phillip, who was the new Prince of Welshire. He tried to call Julianna but only received her voicemail. Had he been wrong about her feelings for him? Did she have a change of heart? There was no mention of Julianna in the news nor with any releases from the royal family. In fact, it was as if she had fallen off the Earth in that short amount of time. And yet he still felt a connection to her.

  Each stroke of his bow, each note that fell from his violin was a message to her wherever she was.

  I promise I won’t be late.

  He made sure to mention tonight’s concert dedicated to ‘that special someone’ in the musical program. Secretly he hoped she would see it. But each time he took a break backstage and asked the attendants, they confirmed that she hadn’t showed up.

  Have faith, Andrew. He told himself each time he asked about her. She will come.

  The next set was announced by the time he coached himself in preparation. Tchaikovsky’s None But the Lonely Heart. The very same composition he had played to open the concert that brought them together not too long ago.

  Each note held his passion, his longing and his desire to see her again. In his mind, he saw her standing there and watching them on their creek. The moonlight shone on her face, wrapping around to make her illuminate. He wasn’t standing before an audience of a thousand. It was only her.

  And then he felt it as he hit the high notes above the rising orchestra.

  Julianna.

  The silent crescendo was broken by his tale of loneliness to be broken by love once again. With the last slow high pitched note, he finished alongside the orchestra. The audience broke out in loud applause that brought them to their feet. Andrew took his bow once the maestro gestured to him. The breeze of his movement finally cooled his sweating brow and he quickly went behind stage to take another breather. He was ready to ask one last time to the nearest attendant whether Julianna had shown up at the door or anywhere. As he opened his mouth, he saw her.

  Her short wavy hair cascaded around her heart shaped face. She was dressed in loose slacks and a soft blouse, both accentuated her curvy build. It was now more than ever that she looked like a princess.

  The shuffling sounds of the backstage fell away as he approached her. It took him a moment to realize one of his attendants was reaching to take his violin for the time being. With a nod, he handed it over and went straight to Julianna.

  “I’m sorry,” she said right away. “I got a bit held up back in Welshire. I wanted to make it here long before the program started but…”

  “It’s all right,” he said with a smile. “At least you’re here now.”

  Andrew’s face was drenched, he was tired and out of breath. And yet he never looked more handsome to her than he did in that moment. Julianna couldn’t think of anything to say that would express her excitement at seeing him again. Before she could open her mouth and trip over her words, she went to him. She slipped her arms around him and leaned into his open arms. His embrace was the most comforting feeling she hadn’t felt in ages.

  “I grabbed the program on the way in,” she said, feeling the tears well up in her eyes.

  Andrew leaned his head against hers and she heard the giddy laugh in his voice. “And?”

  She moved back to look up at him, still reveling in his embrace. “See anything interesting?”

  “Mmm, a very special and talented man dedicating his music to someone special.”

  He kissed her forehead and she felt his warm breath against it as he spoke. “Any idea who that may be?”

  Julianna chuckled. “I think I have an idea.”
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  Andrew caressed her cheek and pulled her in for a kiss. Before he could deepen it, she pulled away. Years of propriety still clung to her and in her excitement she almost forgot where they were.

  “Don’t you have to go in for another set?”

  Andrew shook his head. “The next one is the orchestra. My solo won’t come for two songs.”

  “Mmm. Then we have some time.”

  “I think we have more than that,” Andrew whispered, leaning in to kiss her.

  The orchestra swelled behind them with a soft musical selection. Julianna heard the song before and it was one of her favorites from a famous ballet. She couldn’t quite pinpoint which one. Her mind focused only on the feel of Andrew’s lips against hers and the warmth of his body embracing her own. This was where she belonged, she knew it on a subconscious level and yet in her mind she still felt fear clinging to her thoughts. Andrew must have sensed her uneasiness the moment she broke the kiss.

  “What’s wrong, Julianna?” he asked, cradling her face in his palms.

  “Andrew. What if it happens again to us? What if we run into tragedy again or risk everything just to lose…”

  He gently placed his fingers to her mouth and kissed her forehead. “We don’t,” he whispered. “We don’t know what will happen in the future. All we can do is hope and pray for the best and just live each day to the fullest. I’m ready if you are.”

  The confidence in his voice calmed her. Whatever happened in the future didn’t matter. It was only now and the time they would share with one another, however long it may be.

  Julianna leaned into the curvature of Andrew’s arms. Maybe her happily ever after wouldn’t last forever but she would try to make it last a lifetime.

  Author’s Note

  Dear readers,

  Thank you for reading Voice of Abandon. I hope you enjoyed Andrew and Julianna’s love story.

  As I wrote this novella, there were many things that took me by surprise. One of which was the conflict involving Frederick’s brother, Phillip DeWinters. As I closed his story with Julianna, he still resonated with me and eventually I found myself wondering about how he would move on. I still wanted him to get his own happily ever after.